Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Paging Dr. Fenner

So I don't think I have a kidney stone because the pain isn't sharp, but maybe a kidney infection? My lower right back is very sore. Motrin isn't touching it. Definitely the kidney zone. I don't think it's muscular because the Motrin isn't helping and it doesn't have that "catch" you have when you pull a muscle, plus I don't recall hurting myself. But it's worse today than yesterday. This morning I'm having a hard time bending over. Can't call off work today, tomorrow or Friday. I may just have to leave early and go to the doctor.

It would be best if the Lord would just touch me immediately and make it better.

Update: left work early to go to the doctor. Probably a kidney infection although the initial UA was only + for blood. Supposed to go to the E.R. if the pain or blood gets worse, call the Dr. if not improved in a few days. I am not going to the E.R. and as for calling the Dr. back; we'll see. Viva la Cipro!

Monday, September 28, 2009

Everyone once in a while, God seems to nudge me to share something here and I don't know why. Today is such a day...
A few years ago Dean & I got into an argument. No idea what it was about. I just remember it being one of those fights that starts on point number one and then takes on a life of its own. Have you ever had one of those? It was like the anger and hurt I was feeling had become more of an issue than the actual issue. And I couldn't be done with it. I had let my emotions get so huge that I couldn't be soothed with any apology. He said something that day that stopped me short and I've never forgotten it. He said this, "You have to stop. If I ever lost you, I'd be through." Why would he say such a thing? Well, because those ugly emotions bore very ugly words as I hurled everything I could think of at my husband. Things like I didn't need him, I didn't have to put up with his crap. You get the idea. I used anger as an excuse to throw all the rules of love away. I have to say, his words stunned me. In the face of such stubborn hurt, he made himself completely vulnerable to me. While I was telling him how tough and strong I was, he told me how weak he was. While I yelled about how powerful I could be, he agreed that he was powerless. It was one of the most loving and amazing moments of our marriage. And I've never returned to that no-holds-barred kind of arguing.

Every once in a while, I think about that day. I can still see him as he said it, "If I ever lost you, I'd be through." I believed him. I saw how I could hurt him. And I never want to hurt him like that again.
I don't know why I'm thinking of this today. I've never told anyone that story. Who wants to broadcast their nasty marital spats? But this morning as I was getting ready for work, I kissed him good bye and thought to myself, this is my forever love. You have to take that seriously. You can't assume that one word, one rejection, one silent moment too many cannot break life into pieces.
I pushed Dean that day with every desire to hurt him and when I did, I was mortified. For one tiny moment I had him convinced that I could stop loving him. It was just a heartbeat in time. Never again. I don't know why I'm telling you this story. I guess I'm just in the mood to thank God for this love.
And in case you're wondering, if I ever lost him; I'd be through too.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Philippians 4:6-7

Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

Norman Rockwell's "Freedom From Want"

Friday, September 25, 2009

Happy Makers This Week

1. Sarah's pom pon debut.
2. Changing a patient's bed linens and finding was just oreo cookie stains.
3. Coming into work yesterday and being greeted with, "Hey! there's Sara! We were waiting on you before we had coffee!"
4. Snuggling with Donny on the couch.
5. Laughter; wherever I find it.
6. Hugs from unexpected places.
7. Garden tomato sandwiches.
8. Sleeping in this morning.
9. Speaking of sleeping, electric blankets and open windows.
10. The Mr. did all the laundry!

Wednesday, September 23, 2009


Did you know that the regular Mrs. Grass soup is made with 4 cups of water and that Mrs. Grass with extra noodles is made with 3 cups of water? They didn't add no extra noodles, they just decreased the noodle to water ratio!

Monday, September 21, 2009

Stage J

On Friday the Mr. and I were both off so Jay took a half day so we could do some finishing touches in his home. As you know, my dad has been working for about a year remodeling my grandmother's home that has become Jay's home. The truly hard work is completed and the transformation is astounding. I swear that the kitchen is bigger than it used to be, by a few feet! I'm sure of it!
Beige walls are sage green, original cabinets replaced with cherry. Refinished floors and all with that hard to describe warmth that comes of love. In short, Jay is living in one of the nicest homes I know of. Certainly nicer than my first home! Or the one he grew up in...ha!
Now comes the jewelry of a home; details that make it feel complete. Being that one of my dream jobs is as a stager, I was very enthusiastic about Friday. We shopped for several hours as Jay chose curtains, wall hangings, a few final pieces of furniture. That took a little bit of patience and finesse. The Mr. standing by looking at his watch reminding me of the time he will be needing if the new purchases are to be installed, Jay having no clue about his preference of tab tops, valances or tie backs. Me feeling the need to wander up and down every aisle in case there is something fabulous just calling out. Have I mentioned that shopping is even more fun on someone elses dime? Jay had budgeted for this round of house projects and I was very relaxed about spending his money. Much more so than my own.
Jay being a typical man has been living in his fabulous new home with a television and couch in his living room and these not exactly artfully arranged. No kitchen set. No curtains or wall hangings. And it was almost beyond him to figure out what he wanted, needed or preferred. So it came down to me picking his brain, knowing him pretty well and trying to present only two options at a time...this curtain rod or this one?
Finally we purchased chocolate brown drapes with grommet details at the top for his picture window. Chocolate brown Roman shade type for his side window and the same curtain in a linen creamy white for his kitchen windows. He was thrilled to find a chocolate brown leather ottoman on clearance at Target. A much needed living room chair was purchased as was a high top dining room table, Mission style cherry top with black legs. A black Mission style end table for next to his chair. Finally a very cool painting of Time Square on what looks like a rainy Autumn evening for over his couch. Nickel curtain rod with Grecian finials for his picture window and four hours later we were headed home with our goodies. He was experiencing that excitement over his purchases mixed with the shock of how expensive everything is. The Mr. was grousing about the time it would take assemble the dining room set which consisted of four chairs and a table packed into a very flat box; indicated assembly at the molecular level. I was just excited about decorating, who wouldn't be? I, I mean Jay, even had salt and pepper mills that I, I mean Jay, thought would look fabulous on his stove. Which they do!
My mom and dad came by as did Mac and the party got into full swing. The painting looks wonderful hung above Jay's green leather sofa. The chocolate brown side curtain really pops against the sage walls. The rod for the picture window had some kind of industrial screws that would have come out the other side of the house had they been used so that project had to wait. The chair looks great, a lighter creamy color against the green walls with the black side table. The dining set was indeed a time-consuming project and ended with only two chairs assembled as it was getting late. But it looks great, I even donated the table runner I had purchased for myself. A floor lamp from Target was assembled and placed next to the sofa where it looks better than I imagined.
Our old brass finish mirror got refinished with spray paint to match the nickel finish theme. My mom had bought him a letter "J" for the wall, which also got the nickel treatment. A dry erase calendar hung for notes and appointments. The Ikea chair which once served as a life-endangering seating option was tucked away into the home office as I am convinced anyone weighing greater than 140 pounds or having lived longer than 35 years would crush it or be seriously injured attempting to rise from it. Dean moved the television into a more appropriate corner and placed the sofa opposite so that the room feels balanced and created a spot for the new chair.
Oh, did I mentioned the chocolate brown drapes for the picture window are much too long? Reading only the width I failed to notice that the height was 91 inches. Oy. They will have to be hemmed as this is the only length they come in. Not a big deal.
So at around 8:00 p.m., roughly nine hours after our adventure began we headed home. Tired but so happy for Jay, so thankful for this home. So grateful for the part each of us can play in helping him create his adult life. He said he was going to come over for dinner but was an hour getting there. It seems after we all left he was just sitting in his living room looking around.
That was Friday and as far as this mom/stager is concern; it was a great day.
As for today? Well, the plan was to head over while Jay is at work to hem and iron those new drapes. However, Dean took Mac's truck keys to work. This left Mac taking my truck to work. This leaves me here at home, not that I don't love that. But sheesh, I came home last night after work and cleaned house so that today I'd be free to finish working at Jay's. Oh well. Maybe Mac will get rained out.
If not, I guess I'll sit around here being happy, grateful and blessed.

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Romans 8:15

For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship.And by him we cry, "Abba, Father."

Painting: Norman Rockwell's Freedom From Fear

This morning

1. Quiet
2. Coffee
3. Alarm clock
4. Dog's breakfast
5. Shower
6. Make the bed
7. Iron work clothes
8. Throw in a load of laundry
9. Work phone back on
10. May the count-down begin...12 hours.

Friday, September 18, 2009

Abide With Me

I just finished this book on CD, remarkable. This is one of those, "go find this book and read it" books. Well, let me qualify that. Have you ever had so much in your life that you ended up looking crazy to other people while you knew that just doing as well as you were doing was a miracle? If you haven't had that experience, you just won't get it.

But I have.

Tyler Kasky (sp?) is the main character. He's a young man who is the minister of a small Maine church, his first congregation. He and his wife Lauren are expecting their first child when he accepts the position straight out of seminary. The parsonage is an old farmhouse outside of town and soon the family has settled in with their newborn daughter, Kathryn. Not long afterward, a second daughter arrives, Jeannie. And not long after that Lauren has succumbed to brain cancer. Tyler is the single father of two little girls and the pastor of a congregation that isn't terribly impressed with the way he is managing his life.

As you read Abide With Me, you will agree with his parishioners. Tyler is not doing a great job of it. His mother has taken the baby to care for and the young pastor is now raising 5 year old Kathryn with the part-time help of a housekeeper named Connie Hatchett. Kathryn has all but stopped talking and when she does say something, it is generally shocking to the conservative people of their church. For instance in Sunday School, Katie is heard to whisper at prayer time, "I hate God."

Her hair has a permanent snarl at the back and she is always a little bit shy of well-groomed. She cries and screams but does not speak. Connie Hatchett has never had children and has been forever scarred by the death of her brother in Korea and the change in her husband upon his return. She is unused to kindness or gentleness in the world and doesn't know how to nurture. She is not confidant enough to step over the line and take control of the house, she simply rides the sad tide. In truth, it is a familiar heaviness that she lives with herself.

The congregation of Tyler's church has much to say amongst themselves about Tyler's daughter, his housekeeper, his home and the man himself. None of it untrue, but the wave of simple unkindness is enough to take a man who considers it a miracle that he remains upright and slam him to the ground. Tyler, who thinks he is pleasing God by believing, praying, ministering and worshiping, finds out that this is not enough to his observers. And so, he is finally broken by unkindness despite the surviving the death of his wife, loss of his baby and witness to his daughter's sadness.

The beauty of this book is Tyler's inner thought life. His character and spirit that those on the outside can't see is revealed to the reader and we realize, this man is a hero. An unkempt and sad hero. He is continually before God while those around him are continually gathering to discuss his daughter's latest bad day at school. He is trying to teach her to spell with Alpha Bits cereal as they sit in their sad empty kitchen as his "friends" inform him that Kathryn is retarded because she doesn't not speak or play with other children.

This book will break your heart both from sadness for this little family and, if you are like me, the realization that there are others who have experienced the moments of thinking you've done well to get out of bed while others criticize that you didn't go back and make the bed you barely crawled out of. It's a stunning reminder as well; minister to the hurting. Do not take the opportunity of someone elses struggles to congratulate your own successes. I've done that too.

If you want to shy away from what seems like a downer, don't. The final chapter left me literally crying with worship in my car. It's a sermon disguised as a novel.

It's redemption of the least, the worst and the ones who almost didn't realize they needed it.

If I could, I'd beg you to read Abide With Me. If you are like me, it will both heal and teach you. And anything that makes me cry with the goodness of God finally expressed in man; it's a worthy read. This book is good enough to build a study group around.

Monday, September 14, 2009

Yearly Check-Up

Dr.: How have you been doing?

Me: Fine!

Dr.: Any problems since your surgery?

Me: Nope, feeling great!

Dr.: It's not quite time for your pap smear and mammogram yet. Hmm. Is your hair falling out?

Me:No, I just got a kicky new haircut!

Dr.: Yes. I see. Is your skin very dry?

Me: Nope. I use Gold Bond!

Dr.: Alright. Very tired?

Me: Not really.

Dr.: Anything else going on?

Me: No.

Dr.: Everything is good?

Me: Yes (starting to suspect something. Another hairy ovary?)

Dr.: (Leaning forward with deep concern. ) You are getting quite heavy I see.

Me: Yeah, no kidding.

Dr.: What do you think is causing it? Thyroid maybe?

Me: Or the tremendous amounts of food I eat.

Dr.: Let's check your thyroid and just keep up your regular exercise routine.

Me: I think my regular exercise routine might be a contributing factor.

Dr.: Why is that?

Me: It's an urban myth.

Dr.: (Looking very concerned.) What do you think you need to do?

Me: Stop eating?

Dr.: Ok, (writing in my chart), let's go with that. But we'll still check you thyroid.

And why not? I've been praying for an under active thyroid for 20 years!

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Fall is in the air even when the thermometer seems to tease us with summer numbers. No more weekend runs to the garden center for another flat of flowers or hanging basket. The vegetable garden has a few more weeds in it than it did earlier in the season; evidence of my fickle passions. Now we turn our attention inward, inside. The light blue and green comforter on the bed is replaced with a ruby red one and we've replaced the airy sheers on our bedroom window with more substantial draperies. The Ricardo Room is ready for fires and Christmas decorations; chili is on the menu for this week. If we want to sit outside in the evenings now we bring a blanket and a cup of tea to warm us.

This evening we were talking about the next set of plans for our home, because is it ever really done? We'll be converting our guest bedroom into an office with better storage so that it is easier to keep neat (and we can open the door when company is over!) Then into the basement this winter for a long-term project of fixing it up. There's a kitchen and bath down there but it was done before my grandparents bought the place so it is beyond ready for a face lift. Someday we'll put an addition on our kitchen to create a dining room by extending the room to meet the back wall of the family room addition.

And next spring we'll go back outside, shivering when it's not yet warm enough to claim the yard with that sweet hunger for fresh air and flowers. The 2010 plan is to extend the deck, build a fire pit, privacy fence, add some flower beds. Maybe move the vegetable garden? Included in the deck addition will be a ramp because next spring along with flats of flowers and veggies, our home will host Dean's parents. His mom is not able to navigate the stairs into our home so we'll need a ramp. No, they won't be living here, but we need to be accessible.

And who knows, in 2011 maybe that dining room will be in progress? And an island with a breakfast bar where the kitchen table now sits, and maybe we'll put in some stairs and finish the upstairs to create a bedroom, the siding needs to be replaced and the front porch updated...
Pictured: Labor Day 2009, my Dad and Beanie's friend Courtney playing corn hole.

September 13, 2009

Galatians 5:1
Stand fast therefore in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free, and be not entangled again with the yoke of bondage.
At left: Norman Rockwell's "Freedom Of Speech."

Saturday, September 12, 2009

1. What a pretty day!
2. Moving slow, it's 10:00 and I'm still in p.j.s
3. Tom's party today!
4. Slight headache.
5. Thinking about changing out the summer/winter clothes pretty soon.
6. Gonna pick some herbs to dry and freeze.
7. Going out to lunch?
8. Still searching for the perfect wall-hangings for my bedroom.
9. Dean's mom and dad sold their car! Thank God!!
10. Happy Saturday!

Thursday, September 10, 2009

C.S. Lewis Revisited

So here we have a revisit to the C.S. Lewis Room. On the left is the room photographed from the bedroom hallway. On the right, standing in the living room looking through the alcove (note my grampa's antique secretary) toward the kitchen. In all of the re-doing we've been blessed to be able to scoot furniture from here to there without buying anything new except the brown leather ottoman in the family room. Here the living room (C.S. Lewis Room) is now occupied by the blue camel back sofa, formerly my gramma's, that used to be in the family room. The china cabinet likewise has been in the family room but will be in the living room for a while. It's likely the cabinet will find its way back to Connecticut in a few months when Dean's mom's piano takes up residence. But for now, looks pretty good there, huh?

I wasn't sure how the blue couch would look but it really kind of pops with the wall color and I'm liking it! This room is the no tech room. No television, no computers, no radio even. It's where we go for quiet conversations, to read, to pray or just to decompress at the end of a long day. The lack of electronic diversions is intentional. Just this morning I opened my front door and sat in there to drink my coffee. Sometimes, this room almost feels sacred. Maybe because it was my gramma's special space in the house, where her Bible could be found on the coffee table. It seems like a room in which the Holy Spirit has made himself comfortable.
Small grace: Quiet places.

Texas, Connecticut

On the right is another view of the family room. You'll note the giant brownish red star? I was born on an Army base (Ft. Hood) in Texas where my dad was stationed during the Vietnam War. Haven't been back since and have no memory of the place but you know us; I'm the official Texan of the family. We're sentimental about things we can't even remember. While I was putting the details on the family room I decided (much to the Mr.'s dismay) that I needed a giant Texas star for this giant wall. And would you believe it, my mom and dad just happened to have a giant Texas star in the exact brownish red color I needed! Lucky me! The Mr. has grown accustomed to it although he hasn't yet mentioned thinking it's the bee's knees. Doesn't matter, we Texans remain true.
Looking from the C.S. Lewis Room into the kitchen, cabinets were a dark maple stain. Now "Cottage White", a soft antiquey white. The floors are laminate. Against the far wall is my grandparent's pie safe which originally lived at The Farm. To the right of the window is a framed menu from the old Hudson's restaurant. The large clock above the pie safe was a housewarming gift from my parents and was hanging in the guest bedroom before the re-do. The hardware on the cabinets is original, just freshened up with a new coat of black paint. Our kitchen table is one we've had forever, bought from Monkey Wards. It has character in the form of scratches and chips (sound familiar Mrs. Mac?) and we love it just the way it is. The final project will be new counter tops, probably a little further into the fall when the savings is replenished a bit!
Post Script: You'll note a strip of wall on the left vertical archway into the kitchen that is not painted. That is intentional! My grandparents recorded Daboyz height on that wall and as long as I'm living here, it will not be painted over!
Small grace: My earrings perfectly match my scrubs!

Wednesday, September 09, 2009

The Bungolian Barbecue

You wouldn't think it would take much energy for a person to post a few pics, would you? Well you would be wrong!

On Labor Day we had the family over for a good old fashioned American barbecue. Although we do a lot of celebrating our heritage with ethnic dishes, we devoted Monday to hot dogs, burgers and the like. My parents, my sister's family and we four with Lexi (Mac's girlfriend) enjoyed a relaxing day of just being together and of course, eating too much!

My mom was kind enough to take some pictures of the house that we've been working hard at redecorating over the last year since we became the official owners of "Queen Street" as the place is known. This is the family room, formerly of dark paneled walls and blue carpeting. The guy on the couch is my dad, not Desi Arnaz. Nearly all of our redecorating has been a matter of repurposing. I'm a sentimental schmuck so I feel the need to be continually surrounded with objects that I've had forever or that belonged to other members of the family. The few new items like the painting to the left of the windows are bargain items, mostly from Garden Ridge. The only big ticket item is the television over the fireplace and that is because the Mr. is not a sentimental schmuck, just your average schmuck...:)

So here's your first peek of the make-over. I'm sure if you squint hard enough you'll see shades of Connecticut in there!

It's hard to express in words how much I love my home so you'll just have to enjoy my mom's photography and take my word for it!

Small grace: Figuring out how to post these pictures!

Sunday, September 06, 2009

Back To School Prayer

Dear Gracious Heavenly Father, Once again we send our children out into the world. We know it's a place that won't love them like we do and won't always encourage them to love you. But Lord, greater are you in them than what they will face in the world. We ask you to place a hedge around their physical bodies and give them safety and strength. Guard their hearts from doubt, fear and emotional attacks of the enemy. Give them wisdom and minds that always seek you in what they are being told and let them learn to compare the information they receive with your word. Give them victories that they can praise you for. Give them failures that will teach them to be humble but not break their spirits. Give them friends who love you that they can learn to serve you along side of. Give them teachers who follow you. Bless the buildings they will sit in and the people they will be with.
Father, if there is any person, adult or child, out there who might intend harm toward these precious kids; stop that plan now in the name of Jesus Christ. Put a barrier in front of that intent of destruction before it can materialize. Expose those individuals that they might be helped and saved from themselves.
Finally my Savior, I ask that you would lay a cloak of peace and joy around our children. And do a good work in us as parents that we might become worthy of this great gift you've placed in our hands.
Thank you God; for kindergartners and high schoolers and college students who will love you with their whole hearts and live lives to your glory.
In Jesus name.

Saturday, September 05, 2009

Labor Day

If I were to be entirely honest, I would have to admit that there are few mornings that I want nothing more than to awaken, dress and leave for work. No, I'd always rather sip my coffee in my quiet home. Watch the light change in the rooms as soft dawn becomes bright noon becomes sunny midday becomes gentle dusk. That's what I want to do every day. I want to put a load of laundry in or start a pot of soup simmering. I want to stay in my pajamas until Regis and Kelly finish that chit chat part of the show.
I don't want to walk past my dewy yard to my truck and drive away. I don't want to heat it up to melt off the ice and drive away. I don't want to wear my sunglasses against the summer brightness as I head east and I don't want to wear them against the snow glare. I don't want to turn off my alarm and realize I am on a schedule as soon as it sounds.
But today I must say more about my ringing alarm than "oh no." I am grateful today that there is a reason to set my alarm. I have a job. I want to state this to myself for those mornings when my momentary dread lingers a moment too long. I am healthy in body and mind and have been given opportunities to go to school and choose my profession. I've been blessed with a job that pays enough to write a check for the mortgage on this home that I don't want to leave in the mornings. I am graced with work that feels worthwhile, important and fulfilling. I walk into a workplace where I am greeted with smiles and laughter.
There is no excuse for anyone who awakens to an alarm clock for work to complain. Shame on me, even though my complaints are (usually) silent and (almost always) fleeting.
I am sorry Lord, for sometimes resenting the gift of work. I know it is not a right or a burden; it is a privilege.
It is an honor for which I am grateful.
Let the alarm clock ring.

Small grace: Sunshine!

Job 34:10-12
Therefore hearken unto me ye men of understanding: far be it from God, that he should do wickedness; and from the Almighty, that he should commit iniquity. For the work of a man shall he render unto him, and cause every man to find according to his ways. Yea, surely God will not do wickedly, neither will the Almighty pervert judgment.

1. My hair is fabulous.
2. I'm very happy.
3. I want an orangish/reddish comforter for my bed. Wouldn't that be pretty with my pistachio walls?
4. Today I will paint my copper range hood to match my stainless appliances. Repurpose that!
5. I've lost a few pounds.
6. Long weekend!
7. I'm in love.
8. Boyfriend pants and cardigans are in; t-shirts and yoga pants are out. Just thought you should know.
9. The Mr. has a kink in his back which he blames because Donny slept with us forcing him to sleep, "like a pretzel." We all know that pretzels don't sleep well.
10. Mac says he's getting a haircut today.

Friday, September 04, 2009

As you might recall from last week, I've been doing some thinking about what kind church or religous experience is drawing me right now. Despite loving and believing in my own church, Metro just isn't it. And no, that doesn't mean I'm "church shopping." Although every few days I refer to myself under a different denomination just to see how it sounds on my tongue"...Well, we Lutherans..."
Anyway, I think when you have been a Christian in church for a long time, it starts to get harder in some ways. There isn't much coming out of any pulpit that seems to hold tremendous insight. Actually, that's fair because preaching a sermon to a 40 year vet of sermons wouldn't do much for a newer Christian. I have to be careful not to be discouraged though when I feel hungry and there is a part of me that wants to walk away crying, "I need some substance!" So I've been doing just the thing my flesh doesn't want me to do which is trying to feed myself. That's where the discontent comes from you know, feeling like the chef didn't make enough of a meal when I should be quite able to cook my own dinner.
I'm making progress since being hungry is not something I'm good at tolerating. And it's good, I'm moving back toward that feeling of God right here instead of wondering where he went. My confession is that I have to guard against a sort of self righteous indignation that makes me critical and grouchy instead of just picking up my Bible and spending time in true prayer. And in case you haven't learned this lesson yet, let me forewarn you that the stuff you ask God to build and remove in you will be the stuff that falls in your lap constantly until you have become victorious. That's the part of growth that I just hate!
I had a conversation with someone about their adult child who is more than old enough and prepared enough to live on her own but just won't make that move. Her mom is starting to wonder if she will actually have to kick this 30 year old out. That daughter is like me. I have been given everything I need to do this on my own but I stand at the doorway with my feet braced refusing to be independent. Worse yet, I turn around and complain about what is on someone else's dinner table.
Someone who has been raised in a Christian home and has known Christ for 40 plus years should be able to do this. And I am able.
Sometimes church becomes for fellowship, for corporate praise, for holding the hands of people not quite as far along the road. I need to come home from that church and find what I need if I am hungry.
And be brave enough to face those challenges that come of challenging myself instead of being preoccupied with criticism and frustration.
So I confess, I repent, and I am working on it.

Tuesday, September 01, 2009

One Of Those Days

This day has come to an end just in time. Wasn't the worst day ever, just a day that is bid a fond farewell and not a moment too soon. One of those just frustrating enough days that my head hurts and I find myself short-tempered because of aggravations that happened at work. But I'm not at work anymore. So I think it's time to take an extremely long, hot shower, open a window and turn on my electric blanket. Time to put my heart and mind right with quietness and with no more talking or thinking about the frustrations that need to become so distant that they no longer have weight.
It's time to say I did my work and now good night to things that would very much like to hold my attention like a tantrum-throwing child.
No, not a terrible tragic kind of a day. Just a frustrating needs to be over kind of a day. Every day surely cannot be built of relaxation and pleasure. Some days are built of headaches and tight shoulders and probably a few extra creases that just became a permanent aspect of my complexion. I suppose that's how I have learned to recognize the great ones, by comparing these not so great ones.
With two healthy children and a husband who loves me; a home that cradles me and a God who renews me; it is just a day that, like all the ones before it, is meant to end.
It's just that some days when the end comes we sigh with regret. And some days we sigh with relief.
Just one of those days.

Small grace: Perspective