26th Anniversary

There are two times every year dedicated to vacationing; in the summertime with Daboyz and in late October for our anniversary. Alas, the 2012 vacation schedule has come to a close.
We returned late Saturday from our trip to Traverse City, Michigan.  I'd say it was our best anniversary trip ever but we tend to say that every year ;)
The Mr. reserved our room at the Cherry Tree Inn & Resort with a balcony overlooking the Grand Traverse Bay of Lake Michigan.  We spent an afternoon roaming around downtown, another day exploring the two penninsulas, Old Mission and Leelanau and plenty of time sitting in corner coffee shops and chatting or just staring at the amazing Lake Michigan shoreline.  We wrapped up Friday evening listening to jazz at a small restaurant downtown. 
When we arrived home on Saturday evening we built a fire in the backyard until it got too chilly and then relaxed in our sweet little house, sorry that vacation is over but as always, happy to be home.
God is good, everywhere and all the time.

From our balcony; fire pit in the lower right.

The Mr. at...

At the Grand Traverse Lighthouse, Leelanau Penninsula-Lake Michigan

Lake Michigan shoreline

Stay

Twenty six years married on the twenty fifth of this month and thirty years going steady on the 19th of November.  If there is any advice I'd share with couples, it would be simply, just stay. 
I've been tempted to end our marriage with divorce and I've acted foolishly by allowing distance where there should be none.  Nothing dramatic has come between us in twenty years but still, we sometimes need reminders to stay.  Stay interested and emotionally close, stay physically affectionate and sweet. 
I mentioned on Saturday that the Mr. had some sweet surprises for me on Friday evening; flowers & a card, dinner and over night to a hotel.  There's a local hotel we started "running away" to when Dean was caring for his dad, close enough to easily respond in case of an emergency but still feels like a get-away.  As we were having dinner, I told my husband that I must be changing because I was never a flowers and romantic evening kind of girl.  I've always preferred a quiet evening at home in my pajamas.  Then he said something profound,
"I want to learn how to love you better every day."
There are different kinds of staying.  Staying for the kids, the financial security.  Staying because divorce is against one's faith or because it's just plain old familiar where you are and starting over is too much work.  Staying out of habit or fear or because it's the right thing to do.
Then there is intentional staying.  Staying because you believe there is something in marriage that represents the love of God for His bride and it's the description of His love for us.  Staying the way God stays means sometimes resting quietly together and sometimes running after the one who wanders.  It means wrapping yourself around the one you love to protect him from the arrows of the enemy.  It means covering their faults with your strength.  Staying means being humble enough to be weak and even to be carried in the arms of the one who loves you at your worst.
It means learning every day, how to love better.  And then doing it.
Today, look at your spouse and make a decision.
Stay.

Deep calls to deep in the roar of your waterfalls; all your waves and breakers have swept over me.

Psalm 42:7

My exciting life ;)

1. Spent last weekend up north with The Sisterhood of the Traveling Scarf.
2. Lots of long days, early morning meetings and evening tiredness this week.
3. My sweet wonderful Mr. surprised me last night by having flowers and a beautiful card waiting when I got home, taking me out to dinner and then an unexpected night at a local hotel.
4. The best part about number 3?  He had no idea it was Sweetest Day, he's just that awesome :)
5. Speaking of awesomeness, we're leaving on Tuesday evening for four days in Traverse City.
6. I love Autumn, gonna spend the weekend putting out my Fall decorations.
7. Tomorrow my sister is hosting a celebration for her grand baby Mason's dedication, yay for babies!
8. I may make lasagna this weekend.  Or I may not.
9. I may make cookies this weekend.  Or I may not.
10. As you can see, I lead a very exciting life!

Cherry Tree Inn Resort, Traverse City

Early morning lessons

All to Jesus I surrender, all to Him I freely give;
I will ever love and trust Him, in His presence daily live.

Early morning lessons, albeit not sought, this morning at my house.  I will admit that over the last several months, I feel that I am forever posting this or that malady...head hurts, ulcer, blah blah blah.  I'm tired of my own organ recital, as we say in health care!  I'm not used to this state of semi-unwellness.  Certainly there's nothing alarming happening in my body, it's just that I seem to be a bit on the fragile side more than usual.  I've no doubt that I am dealing with stress in physical ways because I've not yet mastered the spiritual aspect.  Life is a classroom with graduation happening in heaven, I suppose.  Which brings me to the early morning lessons of today. 

I had what I thought was a hormonal headache at the end of last week which proceeded to stomach upset on Saturday which evolved into a stunning case of stomach flu by late Saturday night.  Yesterday was spent on the couch cat napping to make up for the sleep lost over night (when not dealing with yet more gastric issues, 'nuff said.)  Today at 3 a.m., I gave up on miraculous recovery and called in to work.  How I hate that.  And this is an especially not good time for stomach flu.

I am interviewing nurses on Tuesday and Thursday.  I am downtown at a meeting from 8-noon on Wednesday, back at work for a few hours and then leaving at 2 for an appointment at 3.  Did I mention that I have a girlfriend's retreat aka Sister's Reunion happening this week?  Yeah.  That isn't working out the way I had hoped either.  I had hoped for vacation days on Thursday and Friday to start the long weekend.  But there have been management changes at work and I am taking a long weekend for my anniversary at the end of the month.  Ultimately, I needed to choose which vacation days I was willing to give up, and understandably so.  So I will be heading Up North on Friday after work and shortening my girlfriend time by two days.  I had considered trying to sneak away at noonish on Friday to hit the road but with the day off last Friday and today, both unplanned, that is out of the question.  I'll be doing well not to work late on Friday. 

This morning my biggest source of stress is that I dread facing my boss with yet another sick day, especially with the abbreviated days already scheduled this week.  I won't pretend that I was seeking the Holy Spirit this morning, nope, I was just stressing.  The Lord had to sort of derail my obsessive frustration and sort me out.  Firstly, Margie is unable to leave town with the girls on Thursday either, so we'll travel together on Friday evening.  Shew!  I'm not glad we're missing a few days of the party but I'm more glad that neither of us will be doing the four hour evening drive alone.  If God had asked me to delay and travel with her, I would've done it in a heartbeat.  So, I guess he did, and I will.  And she, me.  Does that make sense?  Secondly, I have just now realized that the favor of my boss is a matter of the favor of God.  Yes, she's likely frustrated with me.  I'm frustrated with me.  But God can smooth that out between us, especially if I am willing to get up out of the pitiful me pit and take accountability for making it right.  Can I go in to work early a few days and stay late a few others?  Yes, I can.  And will.  And just that plan makes me feel lighter of heart. 

So I'll road trip with my girl Margie on Friday night and hopefully, we'll get our baseline inappropriate conversations and humor out of the way before we are amongst the more civilised sisters...LOL.  I'll work some longer days as a good faith gesture and will get the undone work done in that way.   I've not had some kind of miraculous deliverance from stress, just sort of started to see the details of it and perhaps, start the work of dismantling framework.

Surrender seems like the giving up of things we want.  This morning, I started to surrender the stuff that I don't want.

Not bad for an early morning lesson on a sick day.

Q & A

1. What happens the day after the hormone headache?
2. Cramps!!
3. What new recipe am I trying this week?
4. Crockpot curry beef stew.
5. What was the exciting news we got yesterday?
6. Mac starts the nursing program in January!
7. What kind of birthday cake does he want on Monday?
8. None, he wants banana pudding.
9. Have I bought new jeans yet?
10. No.

Friday musings...

OY yoy yoy! as my gramma would say.  What a headache I've got!  It's a hormonal thing, get it every month.  Anybody else out there experience this?  OY yoy yoy!  I am working from home thanks to a very generous boss. 
Despite this, it's a favorite time of year for me.  Mac's birthday a few days ago, sister's reunion next week and our twenty sixth anniversary on October 25.  I love the changing colors and the crisp cool air and the fires in the evenings.  I love the cinnamon spice Scentsy!
Mac has a friend visiting from out of town and they are going to Halloweekends at Cedar Point.  Friday is usually date night for us but that will depend upon my aching skull bones. 
The Mr. and I are on week two of a new meal plan.  We are both pooped at the end of the day resulting in more take-out and restaurant meals than we'd like.  So we are taking the week, dividing it and each taking and equal number of days to plan, prep and clean up dinner.  Last week was a rousing success, although every night was some version of crock pot cooking :)   I made lazy chicken pot pie which I invented just this week...

Boneless/skinless chicken breast
Frozen mixed veggies
Chicken Broth
Spices (I used celery salt, Zehnder's seasoning, pepper and a pinch of sage)
Pillsbury croissants (in a can)

Throw chicken breast, veggies, broth and seasonings into...a crock pot!
At the end of the day, scoop out veggies and chicken and put them in a oven proof pan (I used a cast iron dutch oven.)
Ladle some of the broth over the chicken mixture, thicken with cornstarch.
Bake at 300 for about 20 minutes (you could probably skip this step)

Unroll croissants and separate, place over top of chicken mixture to form crust. 
Increase oven to 350, bake for an additional 15-20 minutes checking after 15.

All done!

I've made chicken pot pie completely from scratch which is just a bit time consuming at the end of the work day.  This was easy peasy and the croissants made a fabulous crust.  The men folk were thoroughly impressed!  Served with a green salad.  Also, a great end of the week meal because I threw a few spoonfuls of left overs (like mashed potatoes and green beans) into the mix as well.

Time to get back to work and maybe have a cup of hot tea.  Have a blessed Friday!

Happy birthday Mac!

Updates about basically nothing

Haven't been around the blogosphere much lately.  After my week-long sabbatical I've found myself drawn to other things...pumpkin spice coffee around the fire pit, reading a biography of Louisa May Alcott and catnapping to name a few!
Or perhaps it's just that my life has been pleasantly boring lately.  Work is busy as ever but really, who wants to recount that after spending eight hours living it every day?  I'm doing my usual trying to remember where I put all of my Autumn decorations.  Menu planning for lots of crockpot meals and recipes to get two dinners from one.  I have apple Scentsies around the house making everything smell loverly. 
The Mr. and I have rediscovered the little gem that is downtown Dearborn.  Practically within walking distance there are so many cute little restaurants and half the time we drive for thirty minutes to find somewhere new to eat.  Silly!  We went to see Trouble With The Curve.  Great movie. 
We got a new little high top kitchen table and chairs.  I have a relatively small kitchen with limited counter space so it provides more work surface at counter height; much easier on my back.  Speaking of my back (girl alert, guys read at your own peril!,) I made an appointment for a surgical consultation to have a breast reduction.  Hoping that is something that can happen in the near future. 
I have a reunion with my Scarf Sisters coming up, then a long weekend in Traverse City with the Mr.  Busy busy busy!  All kinds of happy busy :)
I'm on the hunt for a low heel, square toe cowboy boot.   Love the look of a boot and a pair of jeans.  Speaking of which, I need a new pair of jeans.  Oh Law, that's not a fun adventure at all!
My hair is rather on the long side and I kind of like it.   
And I do believe that gets everyone up to date with the happenings of the Smiths! 

Margie's verse...

10

1. Baby shower today!  I love it when other people have babies!
2. Tried a local restaurant last night,  Bistro 222...fabulous!
3. Raise your hand if you love Autumn!
4. My house is a mess, would you please come over and clean it while I'm at the baby shower?  Thanks.
5. Suddenly I feel that next year, I absolutely must build an outdoor fireplace. 
6. My baby will be 23 on Tuesday.  Good grief, I'm only 30!
7. I need new jeans.  Blech.
8. Counting down for the Sisters Reunion and then Traverse City for our anniversary.
9. My life is so sweet.
10. I got a new kitchen table.

One nation under God

A week ago, I went off line to devote my FB & blog time to praying for our country.  I presumed it would be kind of like fasting...can't wait for it to end!  Instead, I find myself having a hard time re-engaging in the cyber world.  I have had such a wonderful time with the Holy Spirit this week and a deepness of peace about President Obama and the United States that is so complete it almost feels like sleepiness.  Isn't it always the case that when we spend time with God, even when we are interceding for others, we benefit greatly? 
I have never been a fan of Barack Obama, but goodness, how quickly I was brought to repentance for my hardness of heart toward him.  The first order of business during my week of intercession was that I could go no further until my I humbled myself and sought forgiveness for my stick-necked pride.  Once that hurdle was cleared, God swept through my soul with waves of clarity and love for the president that could only be from the Lord (especially if you knew my prior attitude!)
Almost daily I would feel the prompt of the Holy Spirit for specific prayer...

That the president would be restless and that all false sense of peace would leave him.  You can see why God had to prepare me to pray this in a way that was not mean and spiteful.  It brought to mind the days of Joseph and God hardening Pharaoh's heart.  Sleepless nights and the full burden of the unsubmitted heart was what I found myself imagining for Mr. Obama.  No false peace, no false peace, no false peace.  When the real-ness of this reached the depth of my spirit, God revealed the next prayer...

That the president would be hungry.  That the false peace and confidence, once removed, would leave a vacuum in his spirit.  I could almost feel the desperation, the great need for God.  I was reminded of times in my life when I cried out begging God to cover me, when I felt like I was made of raw nerve endings.  Have you ever felt that kind of hunger for the Holy Spirit?  That was my prayer.  Make him hungry, desperately and achingly hungry.  And then...

That the president's wife would experience a revelation, an insight of God borne from her love for her husband and her compassion for his aching soul.  That she would quietly know that Jesus loves him and wants to redeem and anoint him.  I prayed that Mrs. Obama would not experience a panic of hellfire and brimstone but turn her face toward God to receive his sweet caress and that she would love her husband with the love of Christ.  I felt that the president would humble himself if she reached out to him with Jesus to relieve his hunger.  I prayed also...

For someone to bring the Lord into their midst.  To come with wisdom and gentleness to speak life into the counterfeit existence that the enemy calls success.  Remember Saul, who, in his torment begged for David to soothe him with music.  Where is our David?  Equip and send him Lord. 

I continue to pray these things for our president.  My heart is lighter as I have confessed and repented of my anger and God has drawn so close to me that I'm not sure when I'll post again.  Something has changed, perhaps I'm like Pavlov's dog?  Now when I consider opening my laptop, I am distracted.  I just want to talk to Jesus for a while. 

I urge, then, first of all, that petitions, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for all people— for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness.  This is good, and pleases God our Savior...

1 Timothy 2:1-3

If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.

2 Chronicles 7:14

This will be my last post until next Sunday.  I've been inspired by a post I read on
To Love, Honor & Vacuum. 
The idea is to choose a prompt that will remind you to stop and pray for your husband, like a siren or a car horn.  With this in mind, I have committed to stopping to pray for America every time I reach to check in to FB or to blog.  Have a blessed week and please, in your own way, find time to take our country before throne every day. 

Loving the changing seasons

1. Hoodies.
2. Cowboy boots
3. Fires: back yard, fireplace
4. Apples
5. Soup on the stove
6. Windows open, cool nights
7. Sisters Reunion
8. Anniversary trip, Traverse City this year!
9. Crisp mornings
10. Changing leaves

My wickedness

If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.

2 Chronicles 7:14

If a person lives long enough on this earth, they will live through times like we are now experiencing.  Times when, if you are a Christian, you see clearly that the way has been cleared for The End.  The Rapture.  The Tribulation.  Times when it seems this must surely be the historic moment when it will all change.  Times that make us feel fragile and vulnerable, enraged and vengeful. 

These are times that drive us to FB posts, blogs and lunch room arguments about who is right and what America was, and is and what we fear or hope to become.

Today, I have a safe and lovely home.  The skies are bright, morning rains having cleared and breezes blow through the trees in my large back yard.  My dog lays on the back porch soaking in the warm sunlight, my husband will buy groceries from our well-stocked local Kroger and my boys have good jobs.  Today, then, is a day of prayer. I am not the one placed in the physical battle, oh how I thank God for the peace of my surroundings right now. 

As for those times like these, first you must understand that I am one of those Christians from paragraph one.  So I know that I know that I know that one day everything will indeed change as the world finally turns her face toward her final defiance of God.  This defiance ebbs and flows like the ocean's tide but is forever creeping closer and closer until it will become the tidal wave that destroys itself.  Or, for the Christian, it will be the spiritual flood that finally washes away all that is so corrupt in mankind.

These are serious moments in history.  There is an election pending, there is the mystical 2012 theology, there is the Middle East tension, the 9/11 anniversary...again the stage is set.  Is this the moment?  I don't know.  It has never really mattered, we are still praying and standing on the same word that David took into battle. 

As I meditate on the scripture above, it feels both global and personal.  I am guilty of the flag waving rhetoric that is anything but humble.  It isn't about Regan or Bush or the red, white and blue.  Forgive me Lord for waging my own war on behalf of America.  My attitude has been that we are the U.S.A. and we are coming to kick someone's head in.  There is no humility in that.  Should we rise or fall, it is by God's grace and his will alone.

I have been political instead of prayerful.

My wickedness has been absolute refusal to consider forgiveness of the 9/11 attackers and of the Bengazi strikes and of everyone who has raised a hand against our troops.  Forgive me God, and help me to forgive. 

And now, may God hear from heaven and heal our land.



Disgusting and rreprehensible

In remarks Thursday, Clinton called the provocative video "disgusting and reprehensible." "It appears to have a deeply cynical purpose, to denigrate a great religion and to provoke rage," Clinton said in Washington, D.C.

This in response to the Bengazi attack this week.
I haven't seen the film in question but I'm quite sure it is potentially "disgusting and reprehensible." 
The implication I hear is that it's really bad to murder people but then again, we are, after all, disgusting and reprehensible.  Some of us at least. 
So, if someone murders a  gay man because they think he is disgusting and reprehensible?  Will Mrs. Clinton say,  "The man's lifestyle denigrated the great religion of Christianity (or Islam) and provoked rage. But still, they shouldn't have murdered him"?
Are we really going to say that the United States of America shouldn't rock anybody's boat?  When did we become such a bunch of wimps? 
The world is full of idiots.  Everyone one of them, according to the constitution, has the right to express their stupidity. 
Mrs. Clinton is proof of that. 

9/11

Happy is that people, that is in such a case: yea, happy is that people, whose God is the Lord.

Psalm 144:15

Marshall, MI (home tour)

Whatsoever things...the back porch

This my my back porch, right outside my back door.  One of my favorite places in the world is right here, sitting at the table with a cup of coffee.  Every Spring I wait day by day until that first morning when it is warm enough to sit outside first thing, before the sun is completely up.  Sometimes I take my laptop out but usually, it's just me, my cup and often; my Bible. 
Do you have a back porch?  Or a favorite spot to greet the day?

The week in review



The Mr. & his mom

 Home! Technically, home on Sunday evening.  Spent much of Monday being very tired and lazy although we were blessed to have dinner with my parents and Donna!  This morning the Mr. is back to work and I'm dragging myself around getting organized, grocery shopping, ironing and attempting to work up some enthusiasm to return to work tomorrow.  Oh, and I really should clean my floors, blah.
Currently, the only enthusiasm I'm exhibiting is to crawl back into bed!

We had a wonderful time away together, with so much to do and so many people to visit it seemed to fly by.  Maybe that's why we're so worn out after our "vacation!"  We drove halfway to Alabama and spent a night in Elizabethtown, Kentucky on Wednesday.  On Thursday we completed the trip and arrived in Alabama in the afternoon.  We spent Thursday evening with the Mr.'s mom On Friday morning Dean took his mom to a doctor's appointment and then we went to the cemetery to visit his dad's grave site.  His headstone had been placed since we were there last year.  He's buried in the churchyard where he grew up along with his parents and generations before.  Then in the evening we went out to dinner with our precious friends, Jerry & Heather.  Heather has been through breast cancer treatment since we were there in 2011 and is now cancer-free!  Needless to say, this was an extra-special time with them.  So special that between the laughing and crying and hugging, we didn't take a single picture!  Drat!  On Saturday we had breakfast with Dean's family and in the afternoon, we attended the Smith family reunion.  After the reunion, back on the road.  Saturday night back in Elizabethtown and home Sunday evening.  Shew! For a homebody like me, that's pretty impressive :)

We are actually quite the exciting couple as we are going to Marshall, MI with my mom and sister this weekend for the home tour, I have the Scarf Sister's Reunion coming up and then a little get-away to Traverse City with the Mr. for our anniversary.  I'm becoming skilled at packing.  The unpacking is not as much fun.

It seems the floors are not going to scrub themselves so I'd best take advantage of this last day off.  I'm not promising there won't be a catnap somewhere in the hours ahead. 

Hope all is well in your world!

Road trip!

1. McDonald's coffee.
2. Watching the sunrise.
3. Hotels!
4. Being off the grid.
5. Talking about everything and nothing.
6. Wearing a fabulous hat and leather gloves.
7. Scenery.
8. Breakfast at Cracker Barrel.
9. Driving down empty highways early in the morning.
10. Listening to the Mr. sing with the radio.

Loving you, loving me

On the heels of yesterday's post about The Five Love Languages,  I want to talk about loving and being loved.  I cannot over-express the importance of not just loving but of making sure others know you love them.  Remember Dean's need for quality time?  Juxtaposed against my need to be alone; I have to be very purposeful in fulfilling this responsibility to my husband.  And yes, it is my responsibility.  We are currently smack-dab in the middle of a quality time challenge!  (Maybe that's why I'm thinking so much about this!)
We are, at this moment, in Alabama.  Ala-freaking-bama.  We are here to visit with my mother-in-law.  Oh Lord.  My mother-in-law has never been my biggest fan.  She and I aren't besties.  We are also here to attend a family reunion.  With a bunch of people, that I dont' really know.  I don't particularly like spending time with people I know and love! 
I am gonna need some major Quality Time Bonus Points this week!
For most of the last 20 years, when the Mr. went to Alabama to visit his parents, I stayed home.  He never fussed about it, always invited me and made it clear it was no big deal if I didn't go.  And I didn't go.  After all, I am perfectly happy going about my business on my own so honestly, I figured the same was true for him.  He'd get to visit with his mom and she'd be spared my company when truly she only wanted to see her son.  Over the last few years, I've gone with him.  I'd be content home alone with a book, but it's my desire to show him my love for him that instructs my decision. 
On the other side of the coin?  Receiving love.  I'm tough to love!  I am not a chickflick kind of chick.  I don't dissolve into tears over anniversary cards.  I'm a loner, I don't need to talk over my every emotion.  How discouraging must that be for Dean...to try to express his love for me and get minimum response!  I have to confess that I pride myself on not being needy.  I don't like needy.  Gives me the shivers.  Makes me puke.  Makes my hair fall out.  Well, some of that might be an exaggeration but you get the idea.  When I'm in the presence of a needy person, my primary goal is to find the exit.
When we love someone (and I'm not just referring to couples,) it is demoralizing to feel that no matter what we do, it doesn't seem to reach their heart.  With my personality, the more content I feel, the quieter I get.  Maybe that's why over time, the Lord has added the need for more physical touch to my personality.  It's a tangible thing, concrete.  He holds my hand, I feel loved.  And I respond.  Dean has said that one of his favorite things is when he puts his arms around me and feels me relax.  I'm wound a little tight, I have permanent knots in my neck.  So when I let myself fall into him, he knows he's loving me in a way that works. Additionally, I'm not a touchy-feely person.  The expression of physical touch is just between us.  Other people can provide acts of service for me but the ability to diffuse my heart...that's all his. 
As important as it is to know what others need from us to feel loved, it is important that we learn how to receive love.  If we seem to be wrapped in a wall that no one can scale, people will give up.  Don't be so not-needy that those who love you are hurt by your independence. 
Teach others how to love you and then...receive it.

Love languages

Recently the Mr. and I reread The Five Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman.  We've read it a few times over the years and it was one of the books I put in the bathroom when the kids were teenagers (my favorite method of covertly pouring wisdom into their lives!) It's a good book.  Not really a marriage therapy book so much as a "stop and think a minute" kind of book. 
When I first read The Five Love Languages as a young wife, I was fascinated by figuring out the Mr.'s love language and how to better express my love for him.  That is, after all, pretty much the point of the book.  A few months ago when someone mentioned that they were reading it, we decided to have a little refresher and, out of curiosity, discover what different perspective we have 20 years later. 
If you aren't familiar with the book, the premise is that there are five basic ways in which people feel loved: affirming words, acts of service, physical touch, quality time, receiving gifts.  There's a short questionnaire at the end to help you narrow down your love language. With my particular personality, I'm not generally interested in formula type methods of relationship management but this insight can be significant.  We discovered that my primary love language is acts of service.  In short, this means that I don't need a diamond bracelet or a bouquet of flowers.  I need partnership in building my vision of our lives together.  Simply put...keeping the lawn mowed, home repairs, don't throw your underwear on the bathroom floor and leave it there.  Some of you are married to guys who do all of the above already, it's the way they are wired.  Those are the guys I kept pointing out to the Mr. as examples of what he needed to be!  When we both understood that those care-taking acts made me feel safe, loved and cherished; it took on a new meaning to us.  One example in our relationship is that I never pump gas.  In our almost 30 years together, Dean has always put gas in my car.  I'm perfectly able to pump gas but it's something he's just always taken care of for me.   When we realized the significance of these acts of service, we were able to redefine my nagging as my need to feel loved. 
Dean's love language was affirming words.  Not surprising that I was lacking in this area since I was forever reminding him of the stuff he wasn't doing!  I made a commitment in my heart to fill his ears with words of appreciation and admiration.  To thank him every week when he mowed the lawn and all winter long when he shoveled the side walk.  I bragged on the fact that he kept my gas tank filled (still a fact that causes jaws to drop.)  I told daboyz, in his presence, what a great dad they had.  I made sure he knew that I was his biggest fan, out loud & proud!
Now, twenty years later, we wondered if our love languages had changed.  Apparently, they usually don't but it's possible.  In our case, there was a slight shift.  With Dean attending to my need for acts of service consistently, I felt confidant in his love for me but a second love language now had a tying score...physical touch.  This is something that I hadn't historically focused on but now, in middle age, I find that I love holding hands, snuggling on the couch and just being close.  It isn't all about bedroom intimacy, it's a constant connection.  With the Mr. making it a point to kiss me good bye in the mornings and to do simple things like putting his hand on the small of my back when we're walking together; I feel a deeper sense of security and love.
The Mr.'s love language has a close second now as well; quality time.  I'm really bad at this!  You know me, introverted/stay-at-home/nose in a book/stop talking to me Sara! I groaned inside when quality time was my new goal.  I'm great at "love you baby" text messages!  You want me to actually leave my house?  Well, I'm working on it.  I'm asking him on a date early in the week and being flexible when he wants to go out to a movie on a whim.  When I realized I needed to step it up in the quality time department, I immediately texted him at work, "Let's have a date night on Friday.  Nice dinner out at a restaurant we've never gone to and a movie."  He was thrilled (an amazed!)  Surprisingly, I found myself thinking, "I can't wait for Friday!"  We had a great time and I didn't implode after all.   At this point in our lives, quality time together isn't an escape from little kids and housework, it's like a celebration of our love.  It's a few hours of turning our attention towards one another and nothing else. 
There's an interesting tidbit in The Five Love Languages and it is that we usually express our love in the way we wish to be loved.  Even if you don't read the book, try this little experiment.  Pay attention to the way you express love and see if it fits into one of the five categories.  Are you a care-taker (acts of service?)  An encourager (affirming words?)  A hugger (physical touch?)  A giver (receiving gifts?) A planner (quality time?) What can you learn about yourself and what can you teach others about what you need to feel truly and completely loved? 
Once you've learned how to identify the love languages and how they are spoken, look at the people closest to you and see if you can figure out their love language.  It's the same concept in reverse.  Are they expressing one of those five languages?  Sometimes we'll see another person focusing on something that seems so utterly unimportant while it feels like they are ignoring us.  I bet we're just misunderstanding one another.  Are you longing for a hug from someone who keeps showering you with gifts you don't want?  Hmmm.  Maybe they express love through giving gifts.  Try turning their own language back on them, give them small gifts and watch for the impact it has.  Then when they are feeling secure and loved...gently teach them how to love you back in the ways that mean the most to you. 
Try it.  You might find some simple changes create a full heart.

The Five Love Languages is available on audio book, Kindle or old fashioned hold it in your hand versions.

Whatsoever things...TJ Maxx

I love TJ's!  No so much their clothes, it's their home goods....oy, the homegoods!  Great prices on higher end brands.  Unusual stuff that isn't a cookie cutter version of the what every other store has.  Even some food stuffs like gourmet oils and herbal teas.  It's my favorite go-to when I want to buy someone a little gift without spending a ton of money.  Also my favorite go-to when I want a little gift for myself!  I'm tellin' ya, Jesus gave us TJ Maxx!  LOL!

Just a little roadtrip

I'll be off line for a bit as the Mr. and I are going to Alabama for a visit with his mom and to attend his family reunion.  It's about a 12 hour trip from here to there so we will stretch it out over two days and enjoy the time together on the road.  There are few things better for "us time" than to be on the road, just the two of us.  One of my absolute favorite things.
Another happy aspect is that our precious friends, Jerry and Heather, live very close to Dean's mom so we get to spend an evening with them.  We were all friends in high school and had not seen one another since then until last year.  Through Facebook, we reconnected and discovered that we would have the opportunity to meet for dinner during our Alabama trip.  Between last year and this, Heather discovered she had breast cancer and has just completed her treatment.  Truly, a celebration to be had thanking Jesus for his overwhelming goodness!
Can I share something with you?  I'm so proud of my husband.  Although his parents were happily married until his dad's death, Dean comes from a broken family.  His dad was married and had four children before marrying Dean's mom.  Those four half siblings and Dean were never close, sadly the two families never found a way to become one.  As Ben (Dean's dad) was dying, the Mr. and his sisters, Diane & Jeannie, promised one another to mend the cracks in their family.  His older sisters have reached out and reintroduced us to cousins and aunts and uncles that had long been lost to us.  The Smith Family Reunion happens every year over the Labor Day weekend.  We'd never attended because, well because we'd never been invited!  Since his mom moved back down south, the Mr. has decided that he would schedule yearly visits with her to coincide with the family reunion in the next town.  Last year was our first time to attend and, goodness, the love and immediate acceptance of the family was almost overwhelming.  Since then, Dean's brother Dennis has passed away.  All the more reason for us to gather ourselves together and honor the blessing of family. 
There have been a lot of hurt feelings, resentment and distance over the last 40 plus years.  There was some talk after Ben's death of everyone finally going their separate ways for good.  In many ways, that would've been easier.  But Dean has squared his shoulders and is reclaiming what the enemy tried to destroy...a family.  His surviving siblings have opened their arms to embrace him.
Truly, this trip to Alabama is a celebration of God's faithfulness.  Friends reunited, healing received, family holding one another closer and rising above the hurts of the past. 
I've never been all that anxious to take that 12 hour trip.  My perspective has changed.  It's like a glimpse of heaven...loved ones waiting to welcome you home.

All the paths of the LORD are mercy and truth unto such as keep his covenant and his testimonies.

Psalm 25:10

Stuffs

1. Baby shower today!
2. Dinner date with the Mr. this evening.
3. Just about fed up with watering flowers!
4. Getting ready to head to Bama this week.
5. I have a cold sore, since when do I get these?  Unattractive!
6. Feeling better about my job, God is so good.
7. Looking forward to hoodie weather.
8. I need hoodies.
9. I have had a sinus headache every day this week, still going strong.

10. Time for a home-pedi!

Analysis

1 Kings 8:38 & 39
...and when a prayer or plea is made by anyone among your people Israel—being aware of the afflictions of their own hearts, and spreading out their hands toward this temple— ³⁹ then hear from then hear from heaven, your dwelling place. Forgive and act; deal with each man according to all he does, since you know his heart (for you alone know the hearts of all men)...

I've found one of the things that interferes with my ability to quickly forgive someone is my presumption to understand their motivation.  When we try to analyze someones heart, we are way out of our depth.  We aren't able, we are supposed to and we create a whole lot of trouble in our relationships when we do it. Consider this, you call a friend, leave a message and they don't call back.  You decide they didn't call back because they don't care about you.  Is it harder to forgive the phone call or to forgive your friend for not caring about you?  Your husband doesn't pick up the milk you asked him to.  You decide he never listens to you.  Is it harder to forgive the empty milk carton or your husband for never listening to you?

I come from a long line of motivation analysts.  My gramma could watch a national news cast and tell you all about the reporter's heart based upon her hair style.  Seriously.  When the Mr. and I argue, it's the stuff I attach to the particular issue that really puts up roadblocks to grace.  Women are particularly skilled at stringing together 30 years worth of events to prove that their husband has always been ____________.   

Of course, we can look at actions and draw conclusions that are entirely accurate.  Serial killers are hateful. Hitler was evil. People with big hair love Jesus.

The point isn't that we can't figure it out correctly once in a while, it's that the heart of people is not for us to judge.  The essence of Christ-like forgiveness is that it is undeserved.  In other words, whatever motivated the offense is unimportant.  To forgive is all that matters.  To open our own hearts to extend mercy is where the heart and the mind must be in sync.  Our own hearts. 

2 Corinthians 13:5
Examine yourselves, to see whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves. Or do you not realize this about yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you?—unless indeed you fail to meet the test...

There is such a thing as too much information, as digging too deeply.  It's our job to forgive the person, and God's to fix the heart.

And he saith unto them, Why are ye fearful, O ye of little faith? Then he arose, and rebuked the winds and the sea; and there was a great calm.

Matthew 8:26

Henry Ford Museum, Dearborn MI

1. Going to the Henry Ford Museum later to check out the Titanic exhibit.
2. Have a lovely day of homemaking planned for tomorrow.
3. Peanut butter toast for breakfast!
4. Autumn in the air, nothing better than autumn in the Mitten.
5. Planning on taking advantage of the cool evenings with a fire tonight.
6. Need some new work clothes.  I hate shopping.
7. I have my office half-way packed, moving to a new one.  Half-way packed isn't good.
8. I have, at this advanced age, developed seasonal allergies.
9. Good thing, at this advanced age, I don't care about wearing mascara.
10. I have cramps.  Did you enjoy that bonding moment?

359 ordinary days

Where I work, there are six recognized holidays.  The other 359 days are just plain old days. 
That's a pretty accurate analogy of life.  Too many people are wallowing in frustration because they expect to wake up every morning to Christmas morning.  They want every evening to be New Year's Eve and every relationship to be the 4th of July.  They are looking for a life of long weekends and picnics and parades and they are disappointed when there are no bands marching down their sidewalk. 
You might think that we need to make every day a holiday and find something to celebrate.  I don't think that way.  I think we need to learn to live happily in the quiet in-betweens.  We need to find our satisfaction in building a home and nurturing our relationships, not imagining that those six days are what life is really about.  Looking for a basket of candy every morning is going to make for lots of disappointment. 
Sparkling trees and holiday trimmings are beautiful, breath-taking even.  I love a celebration.
But to imagine holidays are what makes life pretty is to have it backwards. 
To love and be loved, to forgive and receive pardon, to laugh while pulling weeds together or to share a cup of coffee on the back porch...
To know the touch of your loved ones, the feel of your grampa's whiskers and the scent of your gramma's perfume...
To live inside of a soul that realizes how extraordinary the ordinary days are.
That is life lived in sacred places.

Whatsoever things...self-less-ness

Romans 12:2  Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is —his good, pleasing and perfect will.

The Mr. & I have been meditating on Romans 12:1 & 2 for the last few weeks.  Every morning we take about 10-15 minutes to read this passage of scripture and then submit ourselves to God's will for us for that day.  What do you think of when you consider "conforming" to the world?  Alcoholism?  Adultery? Pornography? 
If we try to make a list, it will go on forever.   And each of us will have a different one as the Lord speaks to our hearts individually.  Ultimately, we can sum this up in a single thought...selfishness.  The pattern of the world is selfishness.  In large ways and small, without eternity and holiness to instruct our steps, we have little motivation to be selfless.  At dinner the other night, the Mr. shared an insight he has gained as he has meditated on this.  It wasn't a bolt of lightening or the audible voice of God but a new wisdom that sort of gently bubbled up in his spirit. 
For the last few years, we have turned our focus financially toward retirement.  We have a few major goals we need to achieve before Dean can comfortably retire.  We have been on a sort of schedule that was to culminate in his official retirement in about five years.  But over dinner, he told me that he had realized that this master plan was selfishness on his part.  Because, you see, having entered the workforce later than he did, I am not going to be eligible for retirement at the same time.  So, he informed me, he is going back to the drawing table to figure out how many extra years he can work to close the gap allowing me to retire earlier...and together. 
"I was thinking selfishly, only of my own desire to retire.  But when I hit that 30 year mark, we'll be hitting it together.  You spent the first half raising our children.  We're going to do this together," he said.
Selflessness is truly a whatsoever thing.

Turning toward grace

1 Peter 5:2-4  Be shepherds of God’s flock that is under your care, watching over them—not because you must, but because you are willing, as God wants you to be; not pursuing dishonest gain, but eager to serve; ³ not lording it over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock. ⁴ And when the Chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the crown of glory that will never fade away.

Do you ever take the bait of unpleasant people?  Look for that sweet opportunity to give back what they've been dishing out?  No?  Well me either! 
Except, yeah, actually...yeah.
Having a particularly spiritual moment, I decided to be not a hearer only but also doer of the word by praying for those that despitefully use me (Matthew 5:44.)  I was being sincere as I asked God to soften my heart and to bless those who had offended me and who I felt had treated me disrespectfully. I prayed that I would rise above my own frustration and short temper and stop noticing the words and attitudes that aggravate me so.  I wanted the Lord to make me softer and sweeter.  Instead, God gave me some advice.  I don't always follow God's advice, but this time, I'm trying. 
Set the example.
If you wait and watch, eventually those folks will do something that will justify being treated just as nastily as they've treated you.  And that, my friends, is when you...
Set the example.
Instead of looking for that opportunity to point out their shortcomings and try to make them feel the way they have made me feel, I am looking for that moment to demonstrate grace.  To speak in a way that presumes innocence on their part and if I can, to teach them a better way.  I'm giving my heart into the hands of Jesus so that I can release the desire for petty revenge and look farther down the road.  If I show kindness, if I speak and act differently than they would, maybe I can influence someone to do the same.  Maybe then, when that moment comes that I am the one in need of grace;  my adversary will know how to pour it out over my life.  Surely, they will have no store of grace to share if I don't first pour a portion over them.
And we will both be the better for it.

Crushing butterflies

Isaiah 38:17 Surely it was for my benefit that I suffered such anguish. In your love you kept me from the pit of destruction; you have put all my sins behind your back.

So there I was, minding my own business changing the bed linens and being a good little homemaker.  There I was when God, out of nowhere, says,
"Do you think I like everything you do?"
What?  Where did that come from?  I'm just changing the sheets over here!  But no, now that you ask.  No, I don't think you like everything I do.  I'm short-tempered, I'm selfish, I'm all kinds of a jerk.  So, ok, I need to do what?  Be more holy?  Ok.
Nope.  Be more aware.  Be more purposeful.  Don't work on the symptoms, let Christ cure the disease.
I have always considered prayer not just supplication to God for favors but simply a fancy way of saying this is how I talk to God.  When I'm talking to him, it's prayer.
It now occurs to me, that from God's perspective, every thought is a conversation with him.  Every emotion is a response to him.  When my cares are held tight to my heart, they become ulcers.  When they are lifted with open hands toward him, they are like beautiful butterflies flying toward their Creator.  The release is what makes them lovely. Held in my fist, they are crushed and ugly.  Like bleeding ulcers, for example.
I am a Christian, I have intentionally declared my surrender to God and accepted his redemption of my eternity.  God is not worried about the list of sins he can record against me to prove that I am not worthy.  Our relationship has matured, now he is done with my symptoms and ready with my cure. It is not a matter of finding several methods by which to bring myself under submission.  For everything that he does not like, there are only my open hands to fix it.  To say, "Here God, here's my moment, my today, my weakness and nastiness and here..dear God...here is my small faith that causes my fist to close tightly around my own heart."
Joy is not captured with grasping desperation, it floats gently into open hands.  By letting go we fall into the miraculous.

But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:19

10

1. Went to Mitchell's Fish Market for dinner last night....scallops!
2. Saw Hope Springs; not a kids movie but really good.
3. Today my folks are coming over and we're cannin'!
4. Gonna make flat bread pizzas on the grill for dinner.
5. Lower temperatures in the Mitten.
6. Might just have a fire outside tonight.
7. Favorite text of the week from one of daboyz..."Home in 20, don't want to walk in to something that will scar me for life."
8. I'd need to quit my job for the next 2 months to have time to can all the stuff I want to can.
9. Hair is long enough for a pony, that makes life remarkably easier.
10. Going to sit on my back porch and snap green beans while the sun comes up.

I will not depart

^{Romans 1:11}  I long to see you so that I may impart to you some spiritual gift to make you strong—

The little girl sat in my office looking at the framed photographs scattered about.  "Who is that man?"  she asked pointing to a picture of the Mr. & me.  "That's my husband."  "Are you gettin' a divorce?"  "Nope." 

"Why not?" she wondered.

My God in heaven.  There is a generation growing up before our eyes who cannot comprehend staying married. 

If you're a regular visitor here, I doubt I need to convince you that divorce hurts kids (and adults.)  I'll spare you that particular sermon.  There are people in my life who are divorced and who I watched battle to save their marriages.  People who were living under such intolerable circumstances that I wanted to yell at them, "Walk away!  You deserve so much better!"  But I couldn't, because they were waiting for God's permission.  When they received His blessing, they ended their torment.  No, those are not the people I'm thinking about.  Those are the ones who bear the scars they received trying to shield their children from the pain they were enduring.

I'm not talking to anyone in particular.  I'm just sharing a moment of social commentary.  We are more fragile, we mortal men, than we realize.  My prayer today was that God would send people into my life to impart peace and wisdom so that I, in turn, may impart something beautiful into lives that have turned ugly. 

I don't expect everyone to take responsibility.  I will only hold myself accountable.  In a world where children watch their families depart; I will impart...

Something to make them strong.

Whatsoever Pesto



 Today's whatsoever thing is pesto!  I love pesto and after having pesto flat bread pizza in Traverse City I decided to come home and make some. Daboyz love it too, the Mr. not so much.  But it could not be easier and if you love fast fresh and homemade...pesto is your answer! 
You just need fresh basil, olive oil, Romano or Parmesan cheese, garlic and a little sea salt.  Most recipes call for pine nuts but I don't use 'em. 
What do you do with pesto you ask?  You can make flat bread pizza, lasagna, spoon it over fettuccine, make a pasta salad, whatever you want!  Look at this lovely dish for example!

That guy

This is the little boy I was praying for when, as a little girl, I asked God for a husband.  I wanted somebody with dark hair who was cute.  That was pretty much it.  I was never one of those pretty, popular and outgoing little girls.  I was awkward, shy and I wore corrective shoes.  I figured I better start praying early if I wanted a cute husband with dark hair.
When I was fifteen, this is the teenage boy I met at church.  He had dark hair and he was cute.  He was a musician and he was funny and he was kind and he loved Jesus.  This is the teenage boy who asked me to go steady in 1982, his senior year and my sophomore year in high school.
This is the 21 year old young man I married, the 23 year old father of my first baby and the 24 year daddy of my second one. 
This is the 39 year old man who worked seven days a week to put me through nursing school. 
This is the 47 year old man I asked God for when I was too young to know about love.  He's the guy with salt & pepper hair and he's still cute.  He's the one who text messaged me at work today to tell me the hardest part about the end of vacation is missing being with me all day.  He's the one who sets the example of getting up early to pray and read the Bible to remind me to do the same. 
This is the guy who thinks I'm asleep when he comes home from practice and kisses me good night softly on the head.  He's my babydaddy.  He's the grandfather of my future grandchildren.
Yeah, he's that guy.

Living sacrifice

The much-dreaded first day back to work after vacation is behind me.  Oh boy, it's like I never left!  Can I be transparent and admit that I've been struggling with my job lately?  This causes me great frustration, I've always loved being a nurse and frankly, I've been a really good one :)   But these last several months?  Rough.  Rough enough to have me wondering if it's time to move on, go part time, do something...anything else.  Hence the hole in my belly, the constant headaches, the over-eating, the insomnia.  So this past week's vacation was not just a little break in the routine, it was some much needed medicine for my soul. 
The Lord is ever faithful to lead us in righteousness for our good and his glory, but that's easily forgotten when one is feeling overwhelmed.  In prayer this past week the Holy Spirit revealed himself to me in the fullness of his gentleness and compassion by giving me a sense of freedom to resign.  It was with this sense of freedom that I went in this morning, reminding myself that I don't have to do this anymore.  I'd like to say that when I arrived I had a new found sense of purpose and realized things weren't as dire as I felt a week ago, but no.  As I said, like I never left.
I didn't resign.  I humbled myself before God and asked him to teach me, lead me, make me into the person he wants me to be and if that person is to work in this job; all the more I will need him and all the better. 
I settled myself into my office and worked slowly through the accumulated tasks.  Slowly is an important word here, part of my self-destructive tendency is to do nothing slowly.  I talk fast, I walk fast, I think fast. I push push push and have a subconscious drive to get everything on the list done in a day.  It's much easier on the mind to work slow and steady (wins the race I've heard.)  I gave myself permission to work at a reasonable pace and leave at the end of the day satisfied with my work.  When I was informed of staff in need of counseling or redirection, I let that be their problem. The issues that is. My job is to do the counseling and correcting, not to take responsibility all the way down to my marrow for other people's errors. When people demanded my attention, I prioritized their needs against my tasks and told a few that they wouldn't be on today's schedule. I don't usually take a break but today, although I didn't take a lunch, I did stretch my legs.  Had a glass of ice water, watched the clouds from my window.  The world didn't end.
I haven't had an epiphany exactly.  But I do think that if I take myself off of auto pilot and hold fast to the wisdom that the Lord is showing me, I'll be ok after all. 
A final thought?


Romans 12: 1,2  I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.

While we were on vacation, the Mr. got up every morning and read these two verses and spent time in prayer giving himself to God, seeking each day what the Lord would have of him.  I decided to do the same with no particular agenda other than it sounded like a good idea.  This, I believe, is where my spirit opened to receive what I needed so much.  Although I had never considered my work stress sin, surely this unhappiness and unhealthiness was not God's daily plan for me.  If anything, the negative impact of my job was me being conformed to the world...directly affected by and responding to my worries instead of being transformed into someone who glorifies God even in life's storms. 
When God asks us to give our bodies as a living sacrifice, it is not so that we can be crucified as martyrs by an unkind world.  It is so that we give him purposeful permission to make us new over and over again.  Every day, submitted to him I will become more like him.  Only in his shadow are my labors of any value.
In this I may prove (become evidence) of the good, acceptable and perfect hand of God on mortal flesh.
My reasonable service...my worship...to be made new.

Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.

Philippians 4:5

Vacation snapshots



Mac, the Mr., Jay overlooking Sleeping Bear Dunes at Lake Michigan



1. Beautiful weather with overnight thunder showers.

2. Side trip to Traverse City.

3. Drive through the Sleeping Bear Dunes State Park.

4. Dinner on Grand Traverse Bay of Lake Michigan.

5. Swimming, reading and coffee on the porch swing.

6. Watching daboyz climb dadunes :)

7. Quiet mornings with the Word and the Lord.

8. Smoked salmon flat bread pizza in Traverse City.

9. Breakfast made by the Mr.

10. No ulcer flare-ups! (until this morning.)

Whatsoever Wednesday



Up North



Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

Philippians 4:8