Purging

I'm on a quick break from purging. Purging stuff, not food. In fact, if I purged food I wouldn't need to do the other purging. I am purging my dresser and closet of the clothing that I have outgrown. Yes, I've gained lots of weight. I've hung on to clothes for a while now hoping, praying to lose the weight. And I intend to lose the weight, but I'm still purging. I'd been dreading this (which is why I haven't done it) but now that I'm knee deep in size 10s, I feel strangely liberated.

Holding onto to my goal weight was never natural for me. I had to maintain about 1600 calories a day and be aware of food constantly. I was never near anorexia weight, I had an anorexia brain for sure. I don't regret that but I don't need to be that person any longer. I did need it, coming from morbid obesity and working through nursing school it was a part of a rebirthing of a me I could be proud of and I am glad I accomplished it. But now, I don't need it.

This has also been a day of God revealing his goodness to me. Because as I pick up the medium and too small clothing and try to let go of it, he doesn't accuse me of the fatness that prevents me wearing them. He tells me not to worry because I will be able to buy clothes again when the ones I now wear are too large. In other words, I am rid of the shackles of poverty. They stayed wrapped around my heart much longer than they did my bank account. If I get rid of something and need it...I'll be sorry. No more. If I lose weight and need a pair of jeans, I will be able to afford a pair of jeans. Let someone else be blessed with the ones I am discarding for now.

I don't like my weight. It's not ok aesthetically but it's really not ok for my health. I know what happened. A variety of life changes came upon me over the last year and a half and I fell off the wagon (and onto a pile of Lay's potato chips apparently.) I reverted to my old friend, food, to cope. But now I feel my body reacting with more than fat, I hurt in ways that point toward fibromyalgia. I don't sleep well. I have headaches all of the time. And of course, the weight brings about it's own toll on aching knees and sore feet and poor stamina.

Don't let this be a sad story though. It's just another season to learn and grow and I will walk through it all the better for God's loving hand guiding me. I'm not depressed, which itself is evidence of healing in my spirit. I am accepting of this person I now am and mature enough to see the signs of needed change.

So I purge with joy. Thankful for the season of size 10 when I needed it. Aware by the four garbage bags on their way to the Salvation Army that I have been well provided for, no reason to think I'll not be provided for in the future. Listening to my body and mind and the Holy Spirit who speaks into my thoughts, I will learn about this season.

Peacefully purging...

Image: http://beta.images.theglobeandmail.com

Genesis 8:20-22

And Noah builded an altar unto the LORD; and took of every clean beast, and of every clean fowl, and offered burnt offerings on the altar. And the LORD smelled a sweet savour; and the LORD said in his heart, I will not again curse the ground any more for man's sake; for the imagination of man's heart is evil from his youth; neither will I again smite any more every thing living, as I have done. While the earth remaineth, seedtime and harvest, and cold and heat, and summer and winter, and day and night shall not cease.

Autumn & Weekend Stuff

1. Ordered a barn coat & mocs from L.L. Bean.
2. Going to get an orangy rug for the bathroom for fall.
3. Also going to get pumpkin spice candles for the bathroom.
4. So glad it's the weekend, you don't even know!
5. Got a Scentsy plug-in last Christmas from the MIL and despite my doubts, I love it. Ordered some Autumn scent fragrance bars and a second plug-in.
6. Gonna bring out the Autumn/Halloween decorations today.
7. Today's agenda-closet cleanout. No happy exclamation point.
8. I see a fire or two in our evenings.
9. Have to make oatmeal scotchies for a co-worker. I'm taking orders now?
10. Happy Autumn Saturday!

Hot Mess Martha Cookies

This evening I made "Martha Stewart Oatmeal Lace Cookies." Or as I like to call them, "Hot Mess Cookies." Actually, I initially called them something else but I'm a bit calmer about the whole thing now.
The recipe is basically an oatmeal cookie minus the flour recipe, the intent being crisp, flat, lacey cookies. I followed the directions, baked and vee-o-la...hot mess cookies. I mean, I even had the requisite parchment paper! Do you realize how astounding it is that I both have and used parchment paper? This is true progress for me. And basically the 9 cookies lovingly measured (yes...MEASURED!) onto the parchment melded into one giant hot mess of a cookie that became one with the parchment paper. It was like those dot candies that you peel off and no one seems to mind that you always eat a little bit of paper? Except this was quite a lot of paper stuck to very sweet oatmeal. Not sure in exactly what part of the world this is a delicacy but I have confirmed that it is not Dearborn, Michigan.
So I took a pic and texted it to my mom with my original name for them.
Having a pot (because Martha explicitly instructed me to use a pot) of hot mess batter, I figured I may as well try again. So I added more oatmeal to thicken the mess up, parchment in place, measured one table spoon each, three inches apart, flatten with the back of a spoon this time only putting six cookies on the cookie sheet, cook for 15 minutes and and and and...
Vee-o-la! Slight less hot mess. Cookies one and two did not successfully part with the parchment but cookies four through six (six cookies per batch, ridiculous) were quite cookie like. Let's recap: Batch one is one giant paper hot mess cookie. I did scrape it and eat it. I did.
Batch two, cookies one and two did not part from the parchment successfully. Cookies three through six were delivered to the cooling rack without incident.
Lessons learned: Fewer cookies per batch, more oatmeal for a thicker batter, remove parchment from cookie sheet and cool parchment paper with cookies on cooling rack, move cooled parchment paper onto counter and gently spatula cookies back onto cooling rack to complete cooling process. Which brings to the present...
Batch number three, six cookies baking. Hear dinger and think, "That was a fast 15 minutes!" Walk to oven and the timer says 10 minutes remaining. Wonder briefly what the dinger was and return to computer so as not to miss a detail of the riveting saga of these cookies.
Hear dinger and return to oven only then remembering you had put tea into the microwave and that was the original dinger. Tea now cold. Reset timer on microwave, remove hot mess batch three. Gingerly lift parchment paper from cookie sheet and place on cooling rack. Put honey in tea. Scrape another bite of hot mess paper cookies off parchment paper and feel slightly nauseated. Call Jay to bring over Crave Case because you need to eat something substantial. Think that you should throw batch one away and stop scraping them off and eating them. Think very carefully, don't be rash.
Decide that with batch three and all six cookie parchment paper resections complete without any complications you are in the home stretch.
Decide you hate these cookies and will never make them again. And you also hate Martha Stewart because she probably did this on purpose. Not really.
Sip your tea, load the dishwasher, and light a candle instead of cursing the cookie darkness.

http://images.marthastewart.com/images/content/pub/ms_living/1991//la_0791_lace_cookie_l.jpg

I neeeeeed

There is a certain breed of people in the world, of which I am not one. People who need to be needed. I mostly want to be left alone.
People who love to do and to serve and sometimes, to be depended on. Like every other potential personality trait, this one can go awry. Under the Holy Spirit's influence, these people are servants. They really are the hands and feet of Jesus. They find their life's purpose and identity in doing for others. On the other hand, without the Lord's guidance, this can become an issue of control. The motivation isn't to serve others but to make others completely dependent on them.
So I need some advice. When someone willingly takes over a task that you could do but doesn't do it well; how do you take it back? In my life there is a person who walks that line between servant and control freak and leans toward the latter when they are challenged. They do a few things that could rightfully be considered my responsibility. I never asked this person to do these tasks, they took them over before we met and things have remained status quo. However, things are not always done the correct way and often there are errors. I am willing, able and ready to step back in and relieve them of the job. But they get defensive, loud and sometimes even start to cry. This makes many people back away and try to soothe the person just to stop the firestorm. And the cycle continues.
I believe that God has called some people to need to be needed. But how do you firmly and gracefully say, "Thanks, but I just don't need you."?

Chuck

So. Jay's Chucks needed to be chucked and he needs a new pair. I tell him I think I have some rewards $$ on my Famous Footwear rewards card. Turns out I had a $25 off reward! I offer it to him. He goes to the website to order his new Chucks and sees there is a buy one/get one half off deal going on. Mac needs running shoes and finding the size 14/15 he wears is usually an online only opportunity. So we order the running shoes and the Chucks.

And this is math according to Jay...

Chucks originally $44 with $25 off makes them $19. BUT! there was half off the cheaper pair (Size 14 running shoes are substantially more than $44.) So they were only $22 in the first place leaving me owing him $3.00.

Yeah. Nice try Jaybird.

Loverly Monday Morning

Ahh, the weekend is over! Every third week I pray for a fast weekend and I look forward to my day off on Monday. The Mr. took a vacation day (he has tried to take as many vacation days on my Mondays off as possible.) He's still asleep and I'm enjoying the cool air and of course my friend Joe. First load of laundry is laudercizing (I stoled that from Trish.) On today's schedule is Beef Stroganoff for dinner. I've never made it but I've been recipe surfing on the web and thought, that looks purty good! Looks fairly simple. I asked the men if if sounded good to them and Mac said, "I'd eat the crap out of that." That's what I'm going to name my cookbook.
I'd Eat The Crap Out Of That. I hope the Pioneerwoman doesn't steal it.
Speaking of the ever charming Mackenzie, his girlfriend of 2 years, Lexi, has moved in with my sister Amy and her husband. Lexi had been living with her dad but he's moving and the Rennies generously opened up their spare room to her. They even painted the room to suit her fancy! Lexi is a girly girly girl so we bought a pale pink and green shabby chic set from the Target. She is so excited and thankful and so are we. However, Target only had one of the shams to her green & pink quilt set so if you run across another one, let me know!
I'll leave you with a thought I just gleaned from a sermon broadcast I watched this morning from California. "The world is always gambling for what you already have in righteousness." He gave the example of the stock market. It's a gamble, you put money in and hope that it will increase. Only in righteousness, in God's promises, is there a sure thing. For example, tithing, offering and sowing into the lives of others. How profound is that? He went on to speak about every good thing the world pursues by hoping for the best has a God's way method in the Word that makes it a sure thing in him. I'm going to be meditating on that for a long while. And I am inspired to dig into the Old Testament as an Autumn study.
I'm going to enjoy my second cup of coffee on the back porch so I'll say good bye for now. I'm going to spend some time with Jesus reflecting on the things I don't have to gamble on because He already made the way through righteousness. Train up your children in the way they should go, God will not give you more than you can bear, the children of the righteous will be blessed, honor your father and mother, love one another...
Amen.

Psalm 9:20
Put them in fear, O LORD: that the nations may know themselves to be but men.

1. I don't want to go to work, my everything hurts.
2. Please Lord, let this be a relatively quiet weekend with enough staff!
3. So thankful for my family.
4. I did a bit of yard clean-up yesterday, hence number one I'm sure.
5. The day after getting my hairs did means a very bad hair day. Don't want to wash it yet and my girl Monnika feels super deep conditioning is just the thing so I'm rocking the too soft flat head.
6. Inherited my mom's apple peeler/corer/slicer. Miraculous!
7. Can't decide if I want to repot my ferns to bring in or let them die. The Bostons ferns are obnoxiously large and the asparagus fern looks like it might shed during the winter months. Hmmm.
8. I'm drawn to ornamental pepper plants at the Westborn Market. I didn't buy one but all signs point to me going back to get one.
9. Can any one tell me where I put all my Autumn decorations last year?
10. Got to get going. Hope your Saturday is lovely and mine is short.

Friday's Child

I'm feeling rested this morning and the pain is less. If I'm not markedly better Monday I'll go to the doctor. Off today and working this weekend. On today's schedule, getting my hairs did and bringing my plants inside before a sneaky overnight freeze gets 'em. The question is, where to put them all? I'll need to re-pot a few. That should be the day for me.
Autumn is definitely settling in to our neck of the woods and I'm happy to welcome it. I spent some time with the L.L. Bean catalog and think I'll treat myself to a few items, a jacket and shoes to be exact. I might just break with tradition and order them now so when it's really cold, blowy and wet I'll be ready as opposed to running to Target in the cold, blowy wetness to get what I need. I was going to order a few fleece pull-overs as well but those are cheaper at Old Navy. A pair of jeans and a few bags of Gold Toe socks and I should be good to go! Oh, and I need underwear but I'll spare you the details.
Time for me to get this day started, finish my coffee and hop in a hot shower. Enjoy this beautiful Autumn day wherever you are!

Back to Work

Feeling on the better side today. When I first awakened I thought I'd call in again but by the time I've had my coffee now and moved around a bit, I'm feeling like I am ready for work. Still those aching muscles...what in the world? I slept really well again which is so strange. I usually don't sleep well but the last two nights I have been wonderfully rested. Which is part of why I'm pushing myself to go to work, I need to save those call-in days for when I'm sick enough to not be able to get out of bed. Sick days are definitely more "fun" when you're hunkered in during a snowy freezing winter day. Who wants to lay on a couch during nice weather?
So it's time for me to hop into the shower and get moving. Thanks for your prayers and well wishes. The worst pain remains between my shoulder blades and in my right knee.
And don't say fibromyalgia!

A Trailer and A Heating Pad

I'm home with muscles aches. I started last week with aching knees, blamed it on weight and a change in the weather. Right knee quite a lot worse than the left. Then a few days ago, sore neck. I attributed that to sleeping wrong and needing new pillows. Got the new pillows but several days later my neck hurts as much as ever and it is radiating down my shoulder and into my shoulder blades and upper arm.
Yesterday it seemed I was aching all over. Then I thought, hey! Maybe my Vitamin D level is low. About a year and a half ago I had some bad muscle pain and it turned out to be Vitamin D. A few months of supplements and I was good as new. So I started back to taking Vitamin D. But this morning I was so sore when I woke up I didn't feel like hauling myself downstairs into the shower. So I crept out of bed and walked around like Quasi Modo for a bit before I surrendered to the couch and a heating pad which I'm moving from aching spot to aching spot...knees, back, neck, other knee, arm...
Yes I have tried Motrin which takes the edge off but doesn't ever seems to completely get rid of it. In fact, it's worse day by day. Yes, I've made sure to drink lots of water. I'm eating healthy. Getting rest, stretching (of course, only the stretching when I started hurting.) Last night I slept really well and I was sure when the alarm went off that I'd be feeling better. And I was, until I stretched my arm out to shut off the alarm. Ouch.
So here I am watching The Long Long Trailer on my DVR and drinking my coffee from a semi-reclined position. Heating pad is currently under my left knee. It was on top of my left knee but the underside was still sore.
I'm hoping that a few days of the Vitamin D and some heating pad therapy will give me some relief. I wish I was tired so I could nap the day away but I'm not at all. I'm sure a hot shower would help but the idea of getting off the sofa is a little overwhelming right now so I suppose I'll pace myself.
If you have any ideas, let me know. I'm ready to try anything!

My Mom's BFF

My mom pointed me in the direction of a blog that has become a daily stop for me. It's not a Christian Woman's Devotional, so I liked it very much...wink. It's the Pioneerwoman. The author is Ree Drummond and it's all about home with a twist of all kinds of other goodies I love. Her writing is fun and although it's not in the inspirational category as we often identify it, I find inspiration there just about daily.

Ree loves loves loves her husband and kids. She loves her home, simplicity and a smattering of the good life here and there to keep it interesting. I've purchased her cookbook for my mom as well as a bottle of her recommended Sugar Lemon body wash because according to my mother, Ree is her BFF. I'm not entirely sure Ree would confirm the relationship but so far, from recipes to her favorite lipstick (Maybelline, $5.04 @ Target), she gets it right in my book pretty much all the time.

Her blog has recipes which are consistently good and photos of her home and decorating projects. Oh, and did I mention she lives on a cattle ranch in Oklahoma? For no other reason, the cowboys and chaps are worth a daily look-see! She's also a fantastic photographer and some day when I'm feeling particularly inspired, I might actually read her how-to tips. In the meantime, I just look at the pictures and ooh and ahh.

So there's my tip for the day, go visit the Pioneer Woman. Tell her that her BFF Pat sent you.

Fed Up!

Warning, whiny butt post to ensue...
I worked today and that's fine. It's part of my job, take my turn covering the holidays. Fine. However, there were four people given vacation time (not by me) and then a volunteering of my staff to assist another department for an hour (not by me) and some very sick patients admitted to the hospital (not by me.) What I'm saying to you, is that I am downright fed up with working short-staffed due to actions taken not by me.
Then after leaving, I get a message...an afternoon shift staff did not show up. Why? Because he states he was not supposed to even be on the schedule. An error apparently. And guess what? That's right, not by me.
It's not the working on a holiday that I'm whining about. But much like working on a weekend, I am eternally aggravated by errors and short-sightedness by people who don't actually work the holidays or weekends themselves. On bad days like today, it feels very much like perhaps it's not such an important matter to do things correctly if the person doing them won't pay the consequences for a job not well done.
In truth, I don't think that. But right now, today, as I have tried to stretch people farther than they can stretch to cover holes that shouldn't have been there, I'm pouty whiny sorry for myself. So I'm venting. This is a conversation that needs to be had, but I need to do it with wisdom and graciousness and not whiny butt anger. I'll hold my peace until I get there.
In the meantime, I'm going to stew for a bit and then have some diet 7-UP/cranberry juice cocktail and trial to unfurl my eyebrows.
Harumph.

Labor Day, Comfort Food, Etc.

Good morning! Getting ready to go labor on this Labor day, I'm working. Hoping for a quiet and maybe even a short day but there are no guarantees, I'm on 8 a.m. to 8 p.m. My parents are having a fish fry so if all goes well, I'll make it there in time for dinner.
The Mr. is spending a little time with his parents and daboyz are probably going to sleep much of the day away. Jay had rather a rotten week at work last week so he's been thankful for a long weekend and praying for a better week ahead.
I made greens for work and a giant pot cooks down to approximately a tablespoon full. I guess that is what comes of a recipe that starts with "get a mess of greens." Maybe I underestimated the volume of a mess. Although you could still call what I created a mess. I'm taking in my tablespoonful of greens and will deal with the mockery. I also made a delicious pan of banana bread so if people aren't nice to me, I won't share that!
Speaking of goodies, I made a loaf of apricot walnut for my mom, craisin raisin nut for Dean's parents and 2 loaves of a new experiment of mine-trail mix bread. I may have overcooked it, it seems a little dry. But such is the way of experiments. I took a basic quick bread and zested a large orange and then juiced it to divide between two pans. Then I added a bag equally divided between the two of Target brand trail mix (cranberry/pecan/white chocolate.) It tastes good, could use some tweaking but worth making again. The banana bread was a recipe from allrecipes.com (cathy's banana bread) however, halfway in I realized I didn't have enough sour cream. So I dumped in a 6 ounce container of pineapple greek yogurt and added an extra banana. It is delicious! It makes a 9x11 pan. I'm keeping half for the family and taking half to work.
Finally, I made crumbly lemon squares from the Pioneerwoman blog. I usually make classic lemon squares with a cream cheese based crust and powdered sugar on top. These are heartier. Oats in the crust and then sprinkling the crust mix on top as well. The lemon layer is a can of sweetened condensed milk whisked with the zest and juice of two lemons (I added extra zest, only the zest of one lemon was required in the recipe.) They are wonderful. Not the more delicate version I'm used to so it's a matter of taste. Jay preferred them because he liked the crumbly top and felt they were more substantial.
A bit pot of chicken and noodles and a pot roast yesterday rounded out a weekend of baking and comfort food. Speaking of comfort food, we got a fire pit and enjoyed the cool evenings around a fire making s'more. Too much more comfort and I'm never going to be able to snap my jeans!
Well, better get myself in gear and face the workday. Maybe the sooner I get there, the sooner I can come home? Wherever you are today, have a wonderful day!

The Pioneer Woman's Crumbly Lemon Squares Recipe!

Hebrews 13:15
By him therefore let us offer the sacrifice of praise to God continually, that is, the fruit of our lips giving thanks to his name.

My Life in 10

1. Headache-hormones-I enjoy being girl.
2. Cool breezes, mmmmm. Even makes coffee taste better.
3. Got a new work bag at Target for $12 and I'm very excited!
4. Almost due for new eye glasses and for the first time in my life, I am going to spend the extra money and get a pair I like instead of taking the freebie/insurance ones and look like Dorothy Hamel. And for the third time we will ask the eternal question; do I need readers yet?
5. Had an incredibly busy day yesterday but got a lot done for Mac and Lexi so it's all good.
6. Speaking of the Mac, he got 100% on his first pharmacology quiz and will take the nursing entrance exam on October 4!
7. Jay has requested lemon bars, I'm on it. His favorite!
8. For some reason when the seasons change, I look around my house and realize all over again how much I love it. Why is that?
9. My hair is just barely long enough for a stub of a pony tail that looks ridiculous. Therefore I am wearing my hair in a pony tail every day.
10. I need a new tea pot, the handle broke off of mine. Can't find one I want because basically, I don't know what I want.

Green & Stretchy

I'm working on Labor Day and like hospitals everywhere, we are planning a potluck. If we must work, we will at least eat our way through the day. This job has really stretched me, sometimes to the point of being pretty sure I was going to snap. I left a Monday through Friday hourly position for a salary job that requires 60 hours a week of responsibility and rotating weekends. I went from being in charge of my shift and my team to 24 hours a day, 7 days a week with a bunch of direct reports. I had mastered my domain, a 38 bed unit. Now there are days when I am the only administrator in a 100 bed hospital. Strreetttcchhhh!
I've had to step up my game in a lot of areas which I expected. Learned lots of new stuff, also expected. Make mistakes along the way, guaranteed. But one of the most surprising lessons has been the part not where I work harder or take on greater responsibilities. I've also learned a lesson or two about boundaries.
For instance, I'm on 24 hour call and have to carry a Blackberry. For the longest time every time that phone rang I'd grab it on the first ring and then do my darndest to solve the problem on the other end of the line. Three years later, that's not how I handle it. After I get home, the Blackberry goes to voice mail. I retrieve my messages immediately after they are received and then I decide if the matter needs my immediate attention. For a while I would return every call, now the staff knows my expectations. No detailed message, no call back. Do NOT leave me a "Call us back." and expect me to call you back. My time, my life are important too. I get to decide how much of myself to share. And I'm comfortable drawing those lines. It doesn't mean I don't do my job, it means I will be the one to dictate how I do it.
I've also stretched by learning to do the things that go against my personality without resenting it. Salary means from 8 a.m. to 8 p.m., I'm the supervisor. So if I've been there eight hours at 4:00 but there's something going on, I'm there for the duration. That used to make me nuts. I'd clench my jaw and watch the clock and be aggravated for the rest of the evening. Not any more. I recognize the perks as well as the demands so on those late days, I just make myself a cup of tea and take a deep breath and move on.
But maybe all of the stretching and learning can be expressed in the most recent challenge. I work in Detroit, in a predominantly black area with a predominantly African American staff. I have been awarded an honorary black card in case you're wondering. Back to Labor Day and our potluck. My assignment? Greens. Seriously, greens. My first question was, what exactly is a green?
The old un-stretched me might have been silly enough to ask for a different assignment, something familiar. This one? I had one of the staff call his Granny and put her on speaker phone and I got her recipe for greens. I'm not promising anything, but I'm stretching again.
Did you know the more you stretch, the less you ache?
It's about more than muscles, it's about life.

Verse spoken to me by a co-worker this week...

Psalm 3:3

But you are a shield around me, O LORD; you bestow glory on me and liftup my head.

Diary of a Mad White Woman

1. The Mr. & Daboyz are moving his parents...again. Into senior housing.
2. I really need to scrub my bathroom floor.
3. Loving the cooler evenings and mornings.
4. There's a rabbit nest in our yard that Donny wants to eat. Is it terrible that as far as I'm concerned we should just "dispose" of it? Seriously, is there a rabbit shortage? I'm quite sure I don't want to spend 4 weeks staking Donny at the far end of the yard and listening to him whine.

5. The neighbors leaped the fence yesterday to save the baby rabbits from Donny. This is how we discovered the nest. This is also how we are being pressured to guard the little sweeties.
6. Have you ever heard a rabbit scream? Yikes.
7. I want some rain boots.
8. What's the best way to "dispose" of baby rabbits?
9. Don't tell me to call a wildlife rescue.
10. I made some fabulous porcupine meatballs this week.

Ahhh...

A very difficult week at work. Exceptionally disturbed patients, injuries, property damage, exhaustion and actual fear of stepping out of my office. Six hours today just working on one patient's care trying to figure out, what are we missing?

Aching muscles from a combination of physical management and tension. Sleepless nights with a brain that won't shut down after a day of adrenaline.

But a house that I forced myself to clean last night despite my weariness with the promise of this moment. I'm home, the weekend awaits for rest and renewal. I'm gonna breathe in the peace and the quiet and let God soothe away the week that's passed.

Oh My Aching Begonias

My poor poor begonias. I had a lovely lush basket hanging but somewhere along the line the seemingly constant rain and my lack of watering because it seemed like the rain was constant has taken its ugly toll. I kept dead-heading the little darlings but ultimately the yellowing leaves and blossoms that never fully bloomed outed me. I had not succeeded in maintaining the lush basket. After weeks of trying a snip here and figuring out a watering schedule, I figured I should just take the most severe route and see what happened.

I moved them from the shady spot they had been hanging (begonias like shade you see) into an even shadier spot on the back porch. Silly as it is, I had been avoiding doing this very thing because it made some kind of crazy sense that I kept dying flowers hanging there so that the spot wouldn't lack flowers. I know, I know.

I pulled out my garden sheers and went to work. I trimmed each yellow sad little stem down to about 3 inches. I only left the few healthy looking leaves and cut away every brown-edged blossom. It wasn't pretty like it was supposed to be when I bought it in May. It wasn't adorning patio where it belonged. It was in ICU. It was in begonia rehab. Serving no purse, it sat on my back porch ugly and giving nothing to the world around it. Stupid dying fragile ugly begonia.

Sissy begonia that needs to live on the porch because it can't handle the rough terrain of the back patio under the trees and next to my bistro set. Dummy begonia. Begonia that I should just throw away.

And I was prepared to do just that any day now but...

Doggone if that begonia didn't produce about a half dozen fat pink blossoms two days after it's pruning and move to the back porch. Ugly stemmy sticks with a scattering of leaves and six fat healthy begonia blossoms.

I pruned that sucker right down to nothing. I pruned it so seriously that you can see the dirt it's planted in. And it bloomed.

Would you laugh at me if I told you I teared up when I saw it? Never mind. I didn't. Ahem.

I am like that stupid sissy begonia. I hang around where the conditions aren't doing a thing for me. Then I hang around a little longer watching my blossoms drop off before they can even open up. Then I wait longer still while my leaves turn yellow. And when this entire process has taken it's toll, I hang there some more and think about how ugly I am.

Stop withering away as you hang around without enough nourishment. Stop watching the blossoms of all you can be drop around your feet and feeling ashamed at what you've become.

Move, cut away the life-sucking death that hangs on to your very limbs. Let God cut away everything you think defines you.

And then behold...

you might just find a begonia waiting to bloom.

Mrs. Refocus

Are you a relaxer or a refocuser?

The Mr. is a relaxer. After a long day he has visions of a DVD and ordering in. Or going out if there's just enough energy left for a restaurant. Vacations for him stretch into late nights watching television or playing games with dayboyz and sleeping in a little later each day. He's a sound sleeper and this can include putting his head back on the couch and cat-napping.

I, on the other hand, am a refocuser. After a long day I need to regain my equilibrium with order, switching gears and moving my mind from point A to point B. I certainly have nights when I'm too tired to make dinner, but the order-ins or restaurants are always a little dissatisfying to me. I'd take a bologna sandwich and tomato soup over pizza any day. Vacations don't affect my schedule and I'm awake no later than 7:00 a.m. In fact, I'm often up before 6:00 on days off. Why waste time sleeping? To recharge my batteries I cook meals that are too time-consuming for work nights, bake a little something, clean the house, change the sheets. I work outside after enjoying my coffee on the back porch just breathing in the freedom. Cat-napping? Ha! I'm doing well to sleep at night. But this isn't a matter of a Type A personality running wild, this is how I recharge. Closing the door on work for me, requires opening the door on home. I love my home, my private life and my down time. So it's nurturing the best part of my heart to make a pot of soup and loaf of bread. It's the "Ahh, this is why I go to work. To have this."

Neither the relaxer nor the refocuser are wrong. And both of us need the other one to impart balance. Mr. Relax would use every moment not on the clock for Ford Motor for fun. The house has never gotten messy enough to compel him to use time off for housework. Vacation day to paint the living room? Unheard of! Still after all these years, I have the twinge of frustration that I, Mrs. Refocus, have to mention the shrubs need trimming or the garage needs cleaning out. My theory is, should I not shoot my refocus beams directly into his relaxed eyeballs; the house would fall down around his happily snoozing body.

Then again, Mrs. Refocus doesn't know when it's time to just relax. Always another item on the list, always something that could be done better or reorganized or spruced up. NEVER time to go to the movies! We have to do____________ and there is always___________to do. Unfortunately, like Mr. Relax would let the house fall down, Mrs. Refocus has her own kryptonite. I refocus myself right into oblivion and the end result is I become Mrs. Refocus-Resentment. I'm the only one running this joint! It must be nice to sleep on the couch never noticing how the toilet gets clean! Mrs. Refocus-Resentment has a little OCD problem. Mr. Relax has no such problem. He has IDNS. I didn't notice syndrome. As in, I didn't notice that I have accumulated 50 pairs of shoes in front of the back door. This is a risk factor for another terrible condition, WDYJSS. Why didn't you just say something? This causes a very annoying look of innocence and confusion as to why Mrs. RR. has awakened him with her shrieking.

It's not a new situation, the Relaxer vs. the Refocuser. Martha and Mary had the same issue.

Luke 10:38-42 (New International Version)
At the Home of Martha and Mary 38As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. 39She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what he said. 40But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, "Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!"
41"Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things, 42but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her."

"Only one thing is needed..."

I don't think Jesus was belittling Martha. He knew she was a refocuser. And I know he understood that all of her work was for him, in honor of him, it was doing the right thing. Where she went wrong was when the Lord finally arrived, she couldn't stop.

We all need to be purposeful in our lives, balancing the nature of our minds with what is needed. The Relaxer sometimes needs to focus or he will while away his life. The Refocuser needs to relax or she will work hers away.

The Mr. must find the self-discipline to take pleasure in doing what is need. And I must find the wisdom to do the same.

So, how about you? Refocus or relax?

Refreshing Monday Plans

Good grief, I just got out of bed after sleeping for 13 hours! And I only got up because I thought, "Good grief! I've got to get up!" I could have slept a while longer. I worked the weekend and it was a pretty busy one so I guess I was done worned out. I climbed into bed shortly after 6 p.m. with a stack of home decorating magazines and was out like a light. Which never happens. And I slept all the way through. Which never happens. And I slept for 13 hours! Which never happens!
I'm so glad I did haul myself vertical because mornings are my favorite. The windows can all be open because it isn't sweltering out, it's quiet because those people who live here are either at work or still sleeping. And coffee, ahh coffee. I've have big plans today on my day off. I'm going to cut my petunias way back and see if I can get one more blooming out of the leggy buggers. I already cut my begonias down to crew cut status and they started blooming out the next day. Gonna prune my geraniums and water everything. I am going out to my meadow (by which I mean a garden box that I let go to seed and is now full of various plantings au natural) and pick some raspberries. I planted my raspberry bush last year and they take a year or two to bear fruit so I'm very excited with my few berries and stand eating them in the grass with the dirt still on them. This also prevents me sharing my few berries. :)
I've got some baking on the schedule. The Mr. requested chocolate cookies, the staff want brownies and I've got the fixings for my mom's newly discovered favorite apricot bread. I may or may not get all of that done.
I'm going to change the bed linens, clean the bathroom, dust, vacuum and sweep. Laundry.
It may not seem like all that fantastic a day off but for me, it's just what I need. So excuse me while I go out to the back porch with my coffee and watch Donny scout the perimeter.
Have a wonderful Monday.

Zechariah 7:9
Thus speaketh the LORD of hosts, saying, Execute true judgment, and shew mercy and compassions every man to his brother...

Everyday Kindness

1. Picking up litter.

2. Apologizing.

3. Hugging.

4. Sending cards.

5. Baking cookies.

6. Encouraging.

7. Yielding the right of way.

8. Tipping generously.

9. Giving a gift for no reason.

10. Smiling.

Beaten

Listening to talk radio the other day, I was treated to a lengthy discussion about how best to deal with a minor child in trouble for sending nude photographs via cell phone. Lengthy discussion. If for no other reason than time-saving; I say a beating beats a lengthy discussion. I do not kid.

The therapist host recommended having a conversation with said cell porn perp about disappointment, the moral beliefs of the parents and potential consequences of such action. Really? How's a beating strike you as a consequence. Get it? Beating strike you? Well, I think it's funny.

Do we really think these kids simply don't realize you might be disappointed that they have taken a picture of their scrotum and sent it out to their special someone(s)? If your child doesn't know this conflicts with your moral system, what exactly have you been doing since giving birth? Consequences? Believe you me; I'm all about consequences. However, I'd prefer to live my life by a moral compass as opposed to fear of getting caught.

Here's the deal, it's too easy to sin. Technology makes it easy, easy makes it common, common makes it ok. The decision isn't big enough, should I or shouldn't I? I mean, let's face the facts...if, in 1982 I had decided to take a picture of myself nude to share with my boyfriend; I would have had to get hold of a camera with film and then take it to be developed. Quite a lot of effort and great potential for discovery. "Hello, Mr. Trent? This is the guy inside of the Kodak film booth. Yeah, we have pictures here of your daughter nekked. You good with that? How did we find you? She put this phone number on the slip." You see, I didn't have my own phone number. Oh, it was rough being a home pornographer back in my day!

It's more than pictures. It's sexting, it's Facebook "like" pages, it's instant messaging and information out there in the hands of other people and other people and other people...And so many people have so much access very few people are shocked.

I'll tell you what's shocking. A beating. That's shocking.

Would I ever strike my now grown up children? Don't be ridiculous. Of course I would. I doubt I could successfully spank them but I could sneak up on them and clock them in the head. And I am entirely capable of doing exactly that. Also capable of kicking them out of my house. Of telling them they are being idiots. Of letting them fall flat on their faces and have to pick themselves up.

I don't say all of this because I think myself above it all and I don't take lightly what my kids do with their lives. And taking a single picture of yourself nude and sending it to one person qualifies as what you are doing with your life. But I am also not going to be held hostage to them. I'm not so very afraid of their behavior reflecting on my parenting that I won't call them wrong when they are. Not so afraid that they will hate me that I don't get in their faces. I'm far from a perfect parent. But I will tell you this without reservation, my children experienced nothing in their upbringing to justify some of the crap that kids are doing. If they choose to sin, they are going to own that mess for themselves. And after they have dealt with God, they are welcome to come on home to mom.

And they might still get a beating.

Headache

Headache started yesterday at work and got worser and worser despite taking Ibuprofen. Last night I went to bed with it thinking surely it would be gone this morning. Up at 4 and guess what?
Yup.
So I've called in, which I don't like to do. Was sitting here hoping that I would feel better enough to go in late but I feel God telling me that staying home is His will for me today. Why? No idea. But I'm going to be still and let Him have the day.
Even if He isn't managing it according to my plans.

Jeremiah 20:11
But the LORD is with me like a mighty warrior;so my persecutors will stumble and not prevail. They will fail and be thoroughly disgraced; their dishonor will never be forgotten.

Ain't Never

1. Had a professional pedicure.

2. Been to Washington D.C.

3. Eaten Cuban food.

4. Pumped gas.

5. Not believed in God.

6. Been too sick or tired or busy to read.

7. Been in a fist fight.

8. Paid more than $20 for a purse.

9. Been on a cruise.

10. Smoked.

Runnoft

As you might guess from the lack of new posts, we have been busy of late. Dean's parent's will be moving in a few weeks to a senior citizen's apartment complex and last week they started in-home assistance. Hopefully after the move the Mr. can relax a little bit and we can find some kind of normalcy around here. The physical time spent along with the constant preoccupation with their situation can take its toll on our usually relaxed home life.
Speaking of that, tomorrow we are running away. Well, we are going away for the night. That's about all we can manage at the moment but you gotta grab the moments when you can! We're just going to Birch Run and Frankenmuth. Not very far but far enough to re-focus a bit and hopefully even to recharge. There's something about getting out of town that seems to give you permission to forget the "real world" for a minute or two.
This evening it's band practice for the Mr. and I'll do a little housework and then treat myself to a pedicure. By which I mean give myself a pedicure. We'll sleep in just a bit and then on the road for a little shopping, a little eating and a little romance *wink*.
See ya later!

1 Peter 5:7
Cast all your care upon him; for he careth for you.

Coming Soon

1. Back to Weight Watchers
2. Back to school for Mac
3. Cooler days
4. Christmas shopping
5. Our anniversary trip
6. Digging up our back yard to de-root the sewers
7. Dean's folks moving to Seniors apartments
8. Cleaning out my closets
9. Soup weather
10. New shoes for work

There was an old woman

I know an elderly woman who loves a good story. And by that I mean she loves a good story about bad things in the lives of others. She was excited to tell us about a woman whose minister husband left her for another woman. She was downright scandalized sharing about a young man who married someone of another race and even included the tidbit that she bet the young lady was a mail order bride and his parents didn't know a thing about it. And a nephew who was a wild child in high school? He's now nearing 50 but she can tell his children are as wild as he ever was and she bets his daughters will end up pregnant or his son will drive drunk and don't we think he might be an alcoholic?
If there are no stories to report, she starts an investigation of her own. "What's going on at ___________church? It seems like something's fishy." How is ____________'s marriage, doesn't it seem like they are having some problems." "Do you think_________is pregnant?"
It's exhausting, really, to be on the receiving end of these conversations. I try to nip it in the bud, steer her away, put a positive spin or just say it's really none of my business. But still, exhausting. And boring. BORING.
But there is something even worse about this gossipy old woman. She is a Christian. You think I'm going to say Christians shouldn't gossip, and you are right, they shouldn't. But that's not the worst of it. The worst of it is that I will never go to this woman for prayer or counsel. I will never look upon her life as a mentor. I will not learn lessons from her, save the lesson of what not to be. I will not share my heart with her in the pursuit of wisdom. As a woman of God she has rendered herself almost useless. She cannot be the hands, feet or heart of Christ because she isn't to be trusted. Even those who are not offended by her gossip don't expose their lives to her. She is so utterly distasteful in her disregard of the pain and destruction in the lives of others that I don't even share prayer requests with her.
Oh, she says, "Isn't it just awful?" and "I just feel so bad for them." and "I never would've imagined." and "We just need to pray for them."
But shouldn't the awful, bad situations that call you to intercession birth a heart of compassion? And wouldn't a heart of compassion protect and guard the vulnerable?
Something surprising and wonderful has happened to me over the last five or so years. I've stopped needing to be young and beautiful. I'm comfortable with the fine lines and gray hair that indicate how much of my life is behind me. Lessons and hard times earned me the signs of age. I am ready to now be the voice of Jesus for the young women who are just entering into those young, beautiful and difficult years. It would break my heart to think that someone wouldn't trust me, couldn't look upon me as a mentor, because of my behavior.
Seventy years old and a Christian since childhood, and yet, not a sister in Christ to me. Not someone who can be entrusted with the troubles of others. Not someone who will ever have the privilege of my hurts being shared with her. I am guarded and careful.
Dear God, let me learn from this woman and be careful. Let me be a woman who can be trusted. Let me never snicker and gossip about the pain in the lives of others. May I see all of mankind through your eyes and give me a heart that will break like yours when satan raises a hand against any person. Let me never become someone of whom it is said, "Don't tell her....." Let me be a sister who is known as a burden bearer, not a story sharer.

The Cassock

My friend Kevin called me into his office the other day to share something with me. He is thinking of wearing cassocks. I should explain that he is an ordained minister. But still, cassocks? He went on to say that he feels God leading him to reduce his possessions into only what would fit into a box. A box I tell you!
Then he told me about how he was at home the other day and looking around his living room he thought, “I really like this room!” “I like it a lot!” “What a nice and relaxing room!” “And if I ever move I would really need…” looks around room, “well, I would definitely want to take…” looking some more “well, I guess I would only need my Bible.”
A few evenings later he was getting into bed and thought, “This bedroom is the perfect place to get away from it all.” Well, you can probably figure out what came next. “But really I’d only need to take that cross that was my grandma’s and…well that’s about it.” This continued for about a week of putting on his cross in the morning and realizing that he only needed one cross and he could give the rest away to ministers who were newly ordained as a gift. One morning he looked at his grandfather’s ring on his right hand and his band on his left hand and decided he could give away the ring on the left hand and just move his grandfather’s ring. His birthday was that week and I sent him a fruit bouquet, I was afraid of buying something that wouldn’t fit into his box! He hasn’t told me exactly how big this box is.
Being a spiritual and supportive friend, I laughed at him and called him Friar Tuck for several days and suggested he sew some pockets inside of his cassock for extra storage in case his box gets lost.
And then, then! Then I was running errands and at Target where one is required to spend $150 even if one has only to buy Q-tips. I needed shampoo and toilet paper. I put the shampoo and t.p. into my cart and then proceeded to wander around Target. That’s a law, that you have to wander around before you check out to make sure you have your $150 accounted for. I finally got in line to leave and realized with horror that I only had shampoo and toilet tissue! I didn’t even need to use my debit card! Well needless to say I was flummoxed. Flummoxed!
Don’t worry too much, there is a Bigby’s on the way home so I at least I could stop for a mochacarmalattecapawhippyvente. And just as I was making the turn in a bizarre impulse overtook me. I could make coffee at home. Coffee from home! In the middle of the afternoon! Can one even make coffee at home after 10:00 a.m. if there is not birthday cake? Turns out you can. The things my mother never told me.
Now I’m a little worried because payday came and went and I didn’t feel like buying anything but groceries. I haven’t bought shoes in several months. I used to, back when we didn’t have two cents to rub together, buy shoes by the armloads at Payless. Quantity vs. quality was my motto!
What’s happening to me? I’m a little worried that Kevin is influencing me. I’ve asked him to keep his box list down to the cross and Bible so that if indeed God tells me to live in a box (well, not literally in a box), I can put a few of my overflow items into his.
However, I really hope the Lord doesn’t start mentioning cassocks. I fear I may have put my foot into my mouth on that one. Friar Tuck, I mean Kevin, will never let me live it down.

Psalm 11:7
For the righteous LORD loveth righteousness; his countenance doth behold the upright.

Good Things In A Grumpy Week

1. One very sick Baby Noah has been miraculously brought through a week of seizures and illness.

2. Bought a blender and been making fresh fruit smoothies.

3. Got my hairs did.

4. Lost a little bit, emphasis on little, of weight.

5. Have laughed every single day.

6. Have cried two days...while praying.

7. Mac has only a few pre-requisites for nursing school left.

8. Yes the Sine-Off makes me sleepy therefore I have had some lovely naps.

9. My skin is not dry.
10. Summer-time salads every night with dinner.

Grumpy

I'm grumpy. Just sos you know. I am. Sometimes people are grumpy but they don't warn you. Don't tell me to not be grumpy because that really makes me grumpier still but it will be specifically focused at the person who is trying to do a de-grumping.
I am grumpy because I am off work today but got an email telling me to do a report on an event that happened 12 hours ago. The requirement is within 72 hrs. This made me grumpy because I do not need someone to tell me to do my job, this implies I would not do it without being told. When you also post that reminder on the reporting site that everyone reads, it makes it look to everyone that I'm not doing my job. Which by the way I always do and generally I exceed the basic requirements. So I'm grumpy.
I'm grumpy because I have a sinus headache and the only thing that seems to really help it are medications that make me sleepy.
I'm grumpy because somehow this house is messy and I don't know exactly what's going on but it doesn't seem it should be this messy which leads me to my next complaint. Other people who live here are definitely not doing their share to keep the place neat.
I'm grumpy because my yard is overgrown and needs about two days of grooming and I don't know when exactly that is likely to take place.
I'm grumpy because Mac's tuition is due on Monday and I had hoped to put a patio in this year. Well, the grump-root is my leaky basement upon which we've spent $1,000 so far this year without success and are now scheduled for a $2,200 yard dig-up. I'm just saying, over $4,000 in a few months is a bit stress-inducing. Not the end of the world, I'm not trying to be a drama queen. But it doesn't make me particularly happy at the moment.
I'm grumpy because I seriously HAVE TO LOSE WEIGHT! That's pretty self-explanatory.
I'm grumpy because my neighbor who works midnights and must have been off last night, was doing a very noisy garage clean-out at 2:00 a.m. His process was to stand in his garage and pitch various large heavy objects down the driveway. This woke me up but my natural gift for insomnia then kept me awake until at 4:00 a.m.
I'm grouchy because my truck needs to go into the shop.
I am grumpy because I just checked the status of my Amazon order placed on Wednesday. Allow me to copy/paste for accuracy: 2 items - delivery estimate: March 21, 2011 - March 25, 2011.
I think that's enough of the grump chronicles although I could add a few more installments. I'm frankly tired of hearing it. Thanks for listening.

Get right or get left!

I am too tired to write a lengthy blog so I'll just drop this in your lap.
Was Jesus a liberal or a conservative?

Provocative!

Hosea 6:2-3
After two days will he revive us: in the third day he will raise us up, and we shall live in his sight. Then shall we know, if we follow on to know the LORD: his going forth is prepared as the morning; and he shall come unto us as the rain, as the latter and former rain unto the earth.

Officer Matthew Edwards

Taylor Police officer Cpl. Matthew Edwards was killed in the line of duty yesterday at 6:00 a.m. responding to a report of breaking and entering at an apartment complex. He approached the suspect to talk to him and the man turned on him and opened fire.

Cpl. Edwards was 31 years old and leaves behind a wife as well as 6 and 8 year old children. He was a Christian who loved his family. He returned to his hometown of Taylor and joined the police department in 2005 after having been a Detroit police officer. He had a desire to serve his hometown and protect the people there.

He was also the brother of one of our dearest friends, Michael Edwards, who is also a police officer.

Needless to say the family deserves our prayers during this time. Donations can also be made at any PNC bank on behalf of Cpl. Edwards and his service to others.

Blog & Run

Hey there! I'm still here! A busy week has left me with no time for leisure computering. I've been covering for co-workers at the hospital and working on several projects at the same time. But all as well and although it's been busy, it's been a good and productive week. There was a rumor that I was back on Facebook but in reality, I'm temporarily logged in to enjoy the pictures of our friends Chad and Janis' beautiful new baby girl, Josslyn Eden.
Dean started at the new plant a few weeks ago and it has not been a positive experience. The move was based on improved seniority and a more established factory. He has worked for 22 years in the paint department and was hoping that was where he'd be assigned. Unfortunately when he arrived he was placed into a different area that he had never worked in before and on a pretty demanding job. In fact, the guy training him told him he has worked there for six years and hates it. He's been pretty discouraged not to mention exhausted every day. It's been ten hours at work, home to shower and eat and then into bed with a lot of Motrin to help him sleep. HOWEVER! God always has things well in hand even when we feel like things are making no sense. During orientation, the Mr. was told that Dearborn Truck is such a large plant, there is no moving between departments. Ever. The only jobs a person can bid on are within his assigned department. Last week there were openings in paint and despite the insistence that no one moves out of their department, he bid for it. He also spoke with a supervisor who had known him from his former factory. Today he was informed that on Monday morning, he is to report to paint! Hallelujah! I could see the tension already leaving his face this afternoon.
I am being presented with several opportunities with work and ask you to pray for wisdom and favor. More on that later!
Jay has been busy with work and his girlfriend, Emily so we don't see as much of him lately. It's so wonderful to see the Lord's hand fulfilling all that we prayed for when daboyz were small. Everything is not accomplished in their young lives, but God proves himself continually faithful.
Mac is on the road to West Virginia with my parents and my sister for a family reunion. He'll be back on Sunday.
So it's just me and my Mr. for the next few days. I'll work tomorrow and he'll spend the day with his Folks and then we'll have the weekend to do...? Maybe a movie. Maybe a dinner out. Surely some shopping because it's payday! Most of all, I continue to fall in love with Jesus all over again when he pours out such abundance on us. Have a great Friday!

Picture: Janis, Baby Josslyn & Chad. How adorable are they?

Titus 2:1-6
But speak thou the things which become sound doctrine: That the aged men be sober, grave, temperate, sound in faith, in charity, in patience. The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. Young men likewise exhort to be sober minded.

My Relaxing Weekend

1. Housework
2. Laundry
3. Grocery
4. Yard work
5. Hosting my mom's birthday party
6. Church
7. Church again
8. Errands
9. On-call for work
10. Cooking

Haluska

Mac and I are currently in Haluska Heaven.

I'm just sayin'.

Dean's Folks

After three weeks in Wyandotte Hospital Dean's dad, Ben, was declined for admission to the nursing home. It's a complicated mix of some of his dad's specific issues making him not a good candidate and the fact that part of his need for extended care was a result of his mom's disabilities. In other words, his current condition would not require a nursing home if his spouse could provide adequate care. Since his parents do not living in assisted living presently, the social worker at the hospital was able to get him short term placement in another facility giving his mom time to arrange assisted living. A week ago Thursday he was accepted to another nursing home for short-term care. This was the Thursday afternoon before we were leaving on Friday for Up North.I was not entirely comfortable with the facility that finally accepted him. There is a reason that only this place had an opening for Ben. It's like the old Groucho Marx quote, "I wouldn't want to belong to any club that would accept me as a member."Dean's mom, however, felt it was worth giving it a try so we left on Friday morning for Up North and on that afternoon Ben was transferred. Unfortunately, a few days into his stay my fears were confirmed so Dean's sister Kelly (having arrived from Alabama for a week) and his mom had Ben discharged home. Kelly left Saturday morning for Alabama and Dean spent the night there to keep an eye on things. I do agree with the assessment that it is too early for a nursing home and that Ben can remain at home with proper care. Three weeks of excellent nursing care did him a world of good at the hospital and his condition improved considerably from admission to leaving Wyandotte. It's maintaining that level of care while making adjustments for a steady decline that present a challenge. Dean's mom is disabled with legal blindness, obesity, diabetes and needs a walker to ambulate. Even with a walker she can only make it a few feet and requires a wheel chair for longer distances. Having been completely dependent on Ben, Marty (mother-in-law) has never done any work to deal with her disabilities or to prevent her own condition from deteriorating. This leaves her with greater handicaps, poor coping mechanisms and a deep sense of denial about their situation. Because Ben is doing "well" at the moment, she almost seems to think that the momentary crisis has passed and they are back to "normal." Which results in less than adequate care which will result in....you get the idea.

The Mr. has his work cut out for him and is pushing them toward assisted living despite his mom's reluctance. Although this won't fix everything, it will provide a good deal of support that will hopefully tip things in the right direction. So there you have the update! What will come next is anyone's guess.

These aren't Dean's parents, but aren't they cute?

The Camp Ebenezer Sunday School Picnic

Psalm 22:25-27

My praise shall be of thee in the great congregation: I will pay my vows before them that fear him. The meek shall eat and be satisfied: they shall praise the LORD that seek him: your heart shall live for ever. All the ends of the world shall remember and turn unto the LORD: and all the kindreds of the nations shall worship before thee.

Summertime Food Favorites

1. Grilled hot dogs.
2. Iced tea.
3. Lemonade.
4. Watermelon.
5. Fresh salads.
6. Ice cream.
7. Coffee enjoyed outside.
8. Fresh herbs on everything.
9. Macaroni salad with tuna and peas.
10. Bologna sandwiches with fresh tomato.

Home!

Home! A much-needed week Up North has come to an end and after six hours to complete a four-hour trip thanks to traffic jams, here we are. I think we are all rested and quieted after seven days tech free. Quiet would be the word for our vacation this year. Dean was preoccupied with his parents and his new job starting on Monday. My uterus is like a compass, it points due North. In other words, ever year I get a visit from my leetle friend right around this time. I spent most of the time with a migraine and feeling generally yucko. We were even less adventurous than usual and rarely strayed away from home. Thanks to blistering heat, no campfires or s'mores this year.
Still, no complaints. We are surely more refreshed than we were a week ago if for no other reason than down-time we wouldn't have taken here at home. It just happened to be a year with issues that wouldn't completely disappear for a week.
So I am happily back on Queen Street with the vacation laundry already laundering. Jay has headed home to do yard work and Mac has disappeared into the basement. Donny has deposited himself in his "hot hole" (a giant hole he dug in the backyard.) Dean is sorting through the week's mail and will shortly go see his parents. Although we haven't been here, this house seems to need a dusting and a little shining. In a way, it feels like we spent a week at home and now we're home. Happy to be in either place.
And who knows? The summer isn't over...there may be a s'more or two in store before the leaves fall!
Grace!

Washed By The Water

On My Heart Today

Up North Countdown

Just a few more days and we're headed Up North! Leaving Friday and more than ready to hit the road. I've got my library books borrowed, a few more loads of laundry to do and I'm finishing up the fresh fruit and veggies out of the fridge today for lunch. I have finished all my projects at work and it's smooth sailing from here. Dean's sister will be arriving in Michigan from Alabama this weekend so we can truly be off the clock. His dad remains at Wyandotte Hospital awaiting transfer.
So if I don't post again, I will see you in a week or so. Have a safe and wonderful 4th of July!

Holding Tight

My parents had us all over today for our month of June celebrations; birthdays for the Mr., Jay and Amy and Father's day all rolled into one party. Mom made a delicious dinner and all of the above were showered with gifts. Ahh. Love it.
On the way out Mac was eating schnitzel out of the pan and Jay was scooping apple sauce up with the serving spoon for one more bite. I know, I know. Ugh, right? Yeah. And yet, not. They know who they are and that it is more than fine for them to munch their way through their grandparents' kitchen.
It's not to be taken lightly, family. Someday there will be no grandma and grandpa for them to visit and then no mom and dad either. But they will always know who they are. As long as they are first and foremost in their own minds a part of this family, they will never be lost.

Hold tight to each other.