Reasons I Wish I Was Up North

1. Reading on the porch swing
2. Walking around the lake
3. Campfires
4. Big breakfasts
5. Coffee at sunrise
6. Old movies on DVD
7. Antique shopping
8. Used bookstores
9. Just us
10.No phones

So, You Say You're A Scumbag?

I believe you.
You say you messed up. You’re no good. You should’ve done better.
I believe you.
You say you always screw everything up?
Ok.
I am not one to offer pretty reassurances to people who tell me they are low-down-no-good dirtballs. This wins me many friends!
I have been following a self-esteem thread here and there in blog world. There is a little bit of an edge to most discussions about self worth. Frankly, I don’t think we really know what to do with the issue.
We want to be humble, honest and sincere so we admit we have low self-esteem.
But sometimes we also want a pat on the back or to be told we’re wonderful and so we admit we have low self-esteem.
We act confidant and tough because we’re afraid someone will notice we have low self-esteem.
We are a collective mess.
Because there is too much self in our esteem.
So if you tell me that you are a scumbag, I will tell you I believe you.
And then I will ask you what makes you a scumbag and why don’t you knock it off?
And then I will ask you if you realize that the only thing that de-scums is us Christ.
And then I will ask you if you have accepted the de-scumming program of salvation?
And then I will ask you if not, why?
And if so, what’s your problem?
We’ve done a lot of the reassurances of Christ’s love for us and God’s counting us worthwhile and that is so true it stuns me on a daily basis. So now I”ll play devil’s advocate.
Sometimes we feel like scum because we are.
What is the true voice in your heart saying. Is there any possibility that you should feel ashamed and incomplete? Is there any chance that “low-self esteem” is actually the Holy Spirit trying to warn us that all is not well with our souls?
When we are not living sacrificially with our only goal to serve Christ, we shouldn’t feel good about ourselves.
Just a few thoughts from a former scumbag.

2 Corinthians 5:172 Corinthians 5:17
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!

Wanna Trade?

Isaiah 61:3
...and provide for those who grieve in Zion— to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor.

This is one of my favorite scripture. I keep it book marked on the website where I do my research. To me, this verse is God’s way of saying, “Trade ya.”
Did you ever trade things when you were a kid? A bologna sandwich for a cupcake at lunch? A Snickers for a Milky Way at Halloween? Did you ever regret it, wonder afterward if you got ripped off?
Isaiah talks about trade with God. No doubt, it’s a good trade. Here’s my ashes, mourning and despair. In return I get a crown of beauty, the oil of gladness and a garment of praise. So why do we hesitate to make the trade?
I’m not just referring to salvation but to our daily lives. The sadness we carry around in our chests, the disappointment, bitterness and grief.
Ashes are the burned out remnants of destruction. What things in our lives have burned down around us and still, we carry an urn to remind ourselves of our loss. Nothing there but soot and no reason to stay there but we won’t give it up. If my house burned to the ground, how many of you would let me sit in the rubble? I think none.
I believe if my home caught fire, there’d be a line of you to come get me and take me home. I am certain you’d be there to clean me up and start rebuilding my life for me. You love me too much to leave me in the ashes of what used to be.
Likewise, if I lost a loved one; would you come to me? Would you gather around to hold me, wipe my tears away and whisper in my ear that you are going to carry me through? Would I ever sit alone in a funeral home staring death without you to comfort me and give me strength to move on?
Could any tragedy ever befall me that would cause you to tell me to give up? Would you ever advise me to stop trying? If I called you in the middle of the night to tell you I’d lost hope, I think you’d be knocking on my front door before I could hang up the phone.
I believe this all to be true.
If we can love one another like this; we need to learn to trust in God’s love with no less surety.
I wonder if we don’t want the trade after all. I see no other reason for the Children of God to remain in the ashes.
I can only speak for myself and tell you that for reasons beyond my comprehension; I don’t always want to wear a garment of praise. I like to watch the ashes run through my fingers and feel so sweetly sorry for myself.
How I must hurt the Lord when I refuse his trade.
Margie asked on another blog what it means to be righteous. I can’t cover every nuance here. But I think we have a point of departure if we take the trade Christ is offering.
God, make me an oak of righteousness by taking away the charred remains of my own self-destruction. I will praise instead of dwelling in despair. I will lift up my head and stop grieving the times and trials I’ve gone through and I will accept gladness instead.
God, display your splendor in me.
I’ll take the trade.

Today

2 Corinthians 6:1-3
As God's fellow workers we urge you not to receive God's grace in vain. For he says,
"In the time of my favor I heard you,and in the day of salvation I helped you." I tell you, now is the time of God's favor, now is the day of salvation.

A Few Of My Favorite Things

1. Crisp Autumn mornings.
2. Sweatshirts.
3. Puppy breath.
4. Photographs.
5. BOOKS.
6. Doing the Hustle to Eyes Don't Cry by Stevie Wonder.
7. Traditions.
8. Campfires.
9. Handwritten letters in the mail.
10.My nursing school ring.

Hair Warriors

This is a very important post and before you continue, please stop and ask the Lord to focus your heart and spirit on him so that you can be a vessel of wisdom.
I trust you and your insight on all matters of eternal significance and so...
Should I keep growing my hair out so I can return to the pony tail?
Or should I whack it all off into a pixie?
I've never had a pixie but I certainly look exactly like Anne Heche so this pic should suffice.
Commence to praying and commenting. You might want to fast as well.
Song of Solomon 6:5
...Your hair is like a flock of goats descending from Gilead.

Oh My Papa

Thanks to my girl Tina; the Mr. now has that pic of himself and a baby he's been longing for.
Beautiful, man. Just beautiful.
Thanks T~

Identity Crisis

The Mr. and I were out to dinner and in the midst of the conversation; it takes a frightening turn...

Mr.: You know that picture of me and one of the boys on your blog?
Me: Which one?
Mr.: It's me and one of the boys and he's a baby asleep. It's probably my favorite picture and I really like how you changed it to black and white.
Me: What are you talking about?
Mr.: My hair is longer and my beard was pretty full and I'm holding a sleeping baby. I want to have that picture copied to black and white and framed. It's an awesome picture.
Me: I have no clue what you're talking about.
Mr.: Sigh. It's on your blog! Never mind, when we get home I'll go through our pictures and find it.
Me: Wait a minute, it's a man with longish hair and a beard holding a sleeping infant?
Mr: Yeah! I want to frame that this weekend and put a copy in my locker at work. I love that picture.
Me: OK. But it's not you.
Mr: What?
Me: It's not you. I got it from Google Images.
Mr. Hmm. I was sure that was me.

I'm scared.

Forgotten But Not Gone

Psalm 71:9
Do not cast me away when I am old; do not forsake me when my strength is gone.

My grandfathers are both deceased and my grandmothers are now elderly widows. It ain’t easy bein’ elderly.
Oh, there are some folks who grow old embracing the “golden years” playing canasta and sitting around a rec room somewhere singing “Jimmy Crack Corn” with other fun-loving oldsters. God bless ‘em.
But there’s another side to aging that isn’t quite so twenty two skidoo. I think maybe it’s the real side for the majority of people living out their final years.
With age comes declining health and strength. The shocking moment when one realizes they can’t do the simple tasks they once did with ease. There’s the newly identified health problems that sneak up to steal away the body that used to be.
Sometimes the person can’t drive anymore because their reflexes are slowed, their sight is dimmed or they just can’t seem to remember the simple routes they used to travel by instinct.
Grocery bags are too heavy. People talk too fast and conversation is hard to keep track of.
The familiar faces of a lifetime become fewer as they become the last living siblings, the surviving spouse, the only one of the old gang who hasn’t passed away.
Children become parents and grandparents. Grandchildren get jobs and have families. As the life of the older person becomes less and less scheduled; the lives of everyone around them becomes busier and busier. It’s no mystery why they spend so much time alone.
The elderly aren’t intentionally pushed to the side. This grand society we’ve created demands so much time of the able-bodied, there’s little left for the ones with nothing but time on their hands.
Speaking of society, it’s not elder-friendly. Simple phone calls can be overwhelming as the person tries to listen hard to figure out which number to press for assistance. One phone number used to be sufficient to reach out to family but now they are inundated with work numbers, cell phone numbers, home numbers...
It all so hard.
The psalmist was calling out to God, “Don’t cast me away when I am old, do not forsake me when my strength is gone.”
But I feel that the elderly are calling out to us, “Don’t forget I’m still here. Don’t ignore me when I can’t do the things I used to do, when I can’t be the person I used to be.”
I don’t know what I’m trying to say. I guess I’ve examined my own heart and found it lacking in this area. Those liver-spotted arthritic hands have changed my diapers, pressed much-needed money into my hands and lovingly prepared my favorite foods for all of my years. I’m not doing a good job at loving them into eternity.
I need you guys to pray for me and pray for the elderly people living out their days in empty houses, with weakened bodies and confused minds.
I don’t want to forget, God don’t let me forsake them.
Be with them God, when we fail.

Masquerade

This Halloween, as per usual, Metrosouth Church is hosting its annual Trunk or Treat event. All of us get together, decorate our cars and host over 400 kids for a safe and family-friendly Halloween event. It's a blast and you need to bring any kids you know for a great time.
Meanwhile back at the ranch, the Mr. and I teach a lifegroup hosted by our sweet friends Tonya and Jimmy. P.S. if you're interested in hooking up with an awesome group of people to laugh with, learn with and pray your way through life with, this is for you.
Anyway; our lifegroup would love to do some kind of massive theme for Trunk or Treat. So far we've thrown out a few ideas and not made any real decisions. Think in terms of 4-6 cars and 12 or so people.
Commence with the suggestions!!

If you want to learn more about Trunk or Treat; check out our website...

www.metrosouthchurch.com

Sunday, September 17, 2006

1 Peter 5:6,7
Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

10 Things I Don't Care About

1. Baking
2. Politics
3. Prestige
4. "Connections"; they're so stupid they require stupid quotations marks around them.
5. What pretty much anybody thinks of me (I didn't say it was a good thing)
6. Competition
7. Sports
8. Having the same conversations over and over and over and over and over and over.
9. Excuses. Don't care about them, don't accept them.
10.Expensive jewelry.

Ford, Finances & Friday Fears

I don't have anything all that insightful to say today. Today I just ask for a moment of your time to pray for the Mr. and for his employer, Ford Motor Company.
It's no secret that the automotive industry is struggling and cuts are being made everywhere. Today there will be a meeting at the Mr.'s plant to announce what kind of cuts, buy-outs, early retirements and adjustments are being considered or will be happening to keep the company floating.
Dean doesn't say a lot about being worried but he did ask me yesterday to remember to pray for him today. So I'm asking you to join me.
Not just for us, but for all of those in need of employment, job security and finances. God is the God of the great and the small. He cares about the burdens we bear. So I give him today and ask for peace and wisdom for all of those affected by the economy.
My provider is not Ford Motor Company; my provider is not struggling with the bottom-line. My provider is Jehovah Jireh. And it's gonna be ok.

Thanks guys.

Hebrews 2:6, 7
But there is a place where someone has testified:
"What is man that you are mindful of him, the son of man that you care for him?
You made him a little lower than the angels; you crowned him with glory and honor

This was the post that was going to go online this morning, only blogger was a booger and wouldn't let me on! Anyway, the Mr. didn't really learn much more than you probably already know. The Ford UAW membership via hourly employees will be cut in half when all the dust settles through buy-outs, early retirements and lay-offs. No word at present about whether the Mr.'s plant will close, so please pray for that specifically. And the time may come when Dean has to decide about a buy-out or early retirement. He has 18 years in.
Just keep praying for everyone involved. I feel especially burdened for the people at the top who carry the burden of so many lives and families. I just can't seem to pray enough for those individuals and not just that they'd be able to save jobs, but for their own sense of peace in what has to be a stressful time.
Like the old Southern gospel song says, I've got a feeling everything's gonna be all right!
Love you guys!

Ready

1 Thessalonians 4:16-18
For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever. Therefore encourage each other with these words.

I grew up in the Assemblies of God church during the 1970s. I don’t know if it was the time; the church or my own way of thinking but I felt like I was on twenty-four hour rapture watch.
For those of you who don’t know what “the rapture” is; it’s the expected removal of Christ-followers from the earth which precedes the Second Coming of Christ with seven years of Tribulation in there somewhere depending on your particular view of the chronology.
The trumpet will sound, the dead in Christ will rise and then those who remain will be caught up.
The word rapture never appears in the Bible, it’s a term applied to the “catching up” of the saints.
Sometimes the rapture was a scary idea. Most of the time it was a scary idea. I never felt that I’d be deemed worthy to be caught up to heaven. I always feared that trumpet would sound and I’d look around to find all the Christians gone and me left behind to wait out the Tribulation and avoid the Mark of the Beast. Seriously frightening images then and now.
As I grew up I grew away from Rapture watch. I continue to be aware that there’s nothing left to fulfill prophetically and the news reports every day prove that this is the end of time. I just don’t know how long the end of time will take.
I didn’t want to live my life in anxiety of being unworthy of the rapture of the church so I asked God to do a few things. Number one, show me how to live worthy. Number two, focus my mind on productive living in Him instead of constantly listening for a trumpet from somewhere in the east.
So rapture worries faded away and today I live ready to be raptured, meet Jesus by natural means or live to be elderly. I now know that if Christ calls his bride away during my lifetime, you can call me gone.
But I don’t think about the rapture all that often. Not even daily. Usually just when there’s a news story that catches my attention and makes me wonder, how much longer God?
Then I was driving to work, driving east into the sunrise and there was this brilliance at the horizon as the sun claimed the sky and before I could even process my thoughts the Holy Spirit broke into my heart with an announcement...
“I’m still coming you know.”
I was reminded with that clarity you can only get at a spiritual level that one day that eastern sky will split open and Jesus will step back into our atmosphere for one final time. One day that brilliant light won’t be just another sunrise.
And so, we who serve him will be with the Lord forever.
I’m so glad the days worrying about being left behind are finally left behind.
I’m ready to go.

Revelation 22:20
He which testifieth these things saith, Surely I come quickly. Amen. Even so, come, Lord Jesus.

Monster Beside Me

I recently watched a DVD that’s been out for a while. I had wanted to see the film in the theater and hadn’t gotten around to it. Wanted to watch the DVD when it was initially released and again, never got around to it.
The movie is controversial. I’m not here to recommend you run right out and rent it. In fact, part of the reason I wasn’t more determined to see it right away was the controversy of it. Not that I was worried that people might found out I had seen a potentially offensive flick. Because I wasn’t sure I, as a Christian, should watch it.
But we were off on Saturday with not much planned except to relax together and there weren’t any new releases out that were begging for our attention. The Mr. headed out to the video store and came home with a movie he knew I’d been interested in.
Monster.
This is not a review of Monster. Nor am I trying to convince you to see it. I’m not here to debate the merits of controversial material and whether Christians should watch such movies.
I’ll just clarify myself right now and tell you I have a years-long obsession with serial killers. Many of you already know about this quirk in my already quirk-filled personality. I can tell you exactly when the obsession started. In junior high I ran across a book called The Stranger Beside Me about the infamous (then not famous) serial killer, Ted Bundy. Written by Ann Rule, who had worked with him not realizing who and what he was.
I read the book and the fascination with serial killers was born.
By the way, I am quite taken with murder in general and my children often comment while I’m watching “City Confidential” or “American Justice” that I’m relaxing by way of murder.
Weird, I know.
Of course, I’m a psychiatric nurse and mental illness nut (ha!) anyway, so maybe it all makes sense.
Or maybe I’m just a freak.
Back to Monster.
Aileen Wuornos was the first identified female serial killer in the United States. She was executed in 2002 in the state of Florida. She was nasty. Ugly. Crazy. Oh, and a lesbian and a hooker.
“Lee” was not a sympathetic character.
At least Ted Bundy was handsome.
I had, of course, been familiar with the story of this first female serial killer long before Charlize Theron took on the role of Lee. This movie was close to the heart of my interest in these deviants, these murderers.
Since the day that I read the jacket of The Stranger Beside Me, I’ve had a singular question pushing this unofficial research year after year. Why?
Why does some average infant become a Monster?
The movie, Monster, did perhaps the best job I can recall of starting to answer the question most people won’t ask. Why?
You see, in the horror and disgust with which we react to killers, we de-humanize them. But they are human. Flesh and blood. Just like us.
Why? Why do they stalk and torture and kill?
Aileen Wuornos was raped for the first time around eight years of age. The assaults continued for the rest of her life. Gave birth to a baby who was adopted away at the age of thirteen. Prostituted to provide for siblings from her pre-teen years.
Was raped, beaten and in the process; lost herself to some inner psychopath.
Got involved in a lesbian relationship looking for love in a safe place, with another woman. Men having been the instruments of her terror she took a chance on love from a different source.
Aileen Wuornos found that turning the tables on prostitution to survive she could murder and rob men and gain back control. She could bring home the car and the money of her victim and thereby keep her “girlfriend” around for another week.
Ultimately, this girlfriend aided the authorities in arresting Lee, testified against her and walked away free despite having known all along where the money was coming from.
This isn’t a post to defend Eileen Wurnos, vilify the woman who turned her in or explain away so much evil it’s too much to contain in a blog or a book or a movie.
It just brings me back to that question I asked in junior high.
Why?
Because somewhere along the line; somebody messed up.
I’m not talking about the child molester or the parents or the system or the men looking for hookers.
I’m not talking about lesbians or killers.
I’m talking about us.
I just have to think that somewhere in that time line when hell was running loose there was some Christian somewhere to whom God said, “Go do something about this!”
And they didn’t. We didn’t
That’s just what I think anyway.
Do I hold myself responsible for serial killers?
Yes.
That’s why I have to keep listening and learning and paying attention.
I don’t want to be the one God tells, “Go do something!” and then do nothing.
There’s blood on our hands.
At least, that’s what I think.

Stop, Drop & Worship

Picture from Metro's Baptism service 2005

The most terrible (if your dad’s a firefighter) and awesome thing happened this past Sunday at church. You have to first of all realize that we aren’t in our own building yet so we meet in a high school auditorium, which is actually a very sweet set-up.
Anyway, there we were standing together in worship when these flashes went off. One, two, three. I saw our worship leader, Chad kind of look into the audience. He was thinking the same thing I was thinking, “Who is taking multiple pictures with that freaking bright flash?”
Then the alarms sounded. Piercing triplets...BEEP BEEP BEEP!
Chad kept singing, the band kept playing, the people kept worshiping.
BEEP BEEP BEEP! FLASH FLASH FLASH!!
As I said, I’m a firefighter’s daughter so I realized pretty quickly...FIRE ALARM!!
I grabbed my purse and started figuring out just who I’d have to trample to get to daboyz who were sitting in the front with their youth group.
BEEP BEEP BEEP! FLASH FLASH FLASH!!
The youth pastor headed up the aisle looking for the problem.
Chad kept singing, the band kept playing, the people kept worshiping. I also kept worshiping with one eye open and my purse on my shoulder ready to leap into action.
BEEP BEEP BEEP! FLASH FLASH FLASH!!
Pastor comes up on the stage looking around. A few people in the congregation looking around. I counted four people I’d have to trample to reach daboyz. Collateral damage is to be expected.
Chad kept singing, the band kept playing, the people kept worshiping.
BEEP BEEP BEEP! FLASH FLASH FLASH!!
The pastor came up on the stage and announced not to worry, a kid back in the kid’s church area had set off the fire alarm. No need to panic.
Well, that’s a relief. Four people were spared this big girl running over top of them to save the poor helpless 6'+ boyz.
Chad kept singing, the band kept playing, the people kept worshiping.
Time to slow it down and for Tina to lead us in what is perhaps my all time favorite worship song, “The Air I Breathe”...
So there’s my girl ready to lead us, Chad helping us focus and asking God to watch out for people with epilepsy as there was quite a strobe show going on.
Tina says, “Panic in the disco...” which cracked me up.
Then the downbeat.
Then my girl whose worship makes the angels go silent...
This is the air I breathe. This is the air I breathe. Your holy presence, living in me...
I’m desperate for you. I’m lost without you.
beep, beep, beep, flash, flash, flash
And the people kept worshiping.
Yeah, I know. We should’ve immediately evacuated. We shouldn’t have waited for the all-clear.
But my God; to be a part of people who refuse to stop worshiping.
What a sweet Sunday morning.

P.S. Turns out the kid that pulled the fire alarm? Pastor’s son who got a little excited playing a game that required him to run to the alarm. Ha! P.K.s

Psalm 100:2
Worship the LORD with gladness; come before him with joyful songs.

September 11

2 Chronicles 7:14
If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.

September 10, 2006

Isaiah 58:8
Then your light will break forth like the dawn, and your healing will quickly appear; then your righteousness will go before you, and the glory of the LORD will be your rear guard.

In Need Of Physical Healing

1. Grace Mink stomach problems, chronic ear infections & abnormal bloodwork
2. Eleanor Gerhardstein elderly, stomach and head ache
3. Jay Smith Celiac Disease
4. Arlene Wilburn cancer
5. Fred Moss multiple blood clots & aortic aneurism
6. Daniel Mullin cancer
7. Marty Smith diabetes
8. Michele Ray pancreas problems
9. Maggie Smith fibromyalgia
10.Jeremy Schossau diabetes

Rescued

I love God. I love how detailed he is. I love how he knows it all, end to beginning and orders it with the purpose of rescuing me. I love how good he is, so good I can’t even imagine it.
I love how God reveals himself to me in tiny ways that I call coincidence or fate or good luck. I love how he doesn’t demand recognition but keeps on putting my life together despite my best efforts to tear it all apart.
When I’m I need of blog inspiration or know I should study his word, I often put a keyword into a Bible web site search and just soak in the scriptures that pop up. Most days, I run across something I wasn’t looking for that turns out to be just what I needed.
Today was such a day. I had been praying about some sad things that have happened recently. About not just the need for God to heal people’s bodies, but our need for him to steady our thoughts and give us peace. As I was praying I felt that tangible presence of the Holy Spirit that pushes the burdens out and lifts the heart in an instant.
I hope you’ve had this experience. Faster than the blink of an eye despair flies away and your very muscles relax. Peace with all capitals. It doesn’t come from any change in the circumstances and it usually comes when it’s just you and God all alone.
I had just such an experience this morning and heard myself thanking God for my “rescue”.
This led me to do that keyword search for the word “rescue” in the Bible. Which led me to one of those sweet verses that God had set me up to find.

Isaiah 46:4
Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you.

If this is all God says to me for the rest of today, it’s more than enough. It tells me that God will never lose track of me or my needs. That he will always be the one to provide my rescue. When I’m old and can’t walk through my storms anymore; I will be carried. When I’ve nothing left to hang on to; I will be sustained.
Beginning to end, I am in a continuous state of love.
Because in the beginning, he was preparing the end.
I love that about my God.

Big Ol' Baby

Children, if all is well, will grow up.
If in kindergarten they need diapers, there’s a problem. If they take a pacifier to prom, there’s a problem. If they need a bib at their wedding, there’s a problem.
Sometimes the children of God have a problem and they don’t realize it. They won’t grow up.
Unlike physical growth, spiritual growth is optional. There’s no seniority plan in salvation. However, there is such a thing as not being as grown up as we should be.
I know Christians (term used loosely) late into their retirement years who are petty, selfish and ignorant of the Word of God. Babies with gray hair.
I know teenagers who lay all their agendas and plans at the feet of Jesus every day and lift their lives and their hands unashamedly to Him. They are the matriarchs and patriarchs of faith.
God will only do the things we let him do in our lives and he won’t take away the things we hang on to. Growing up in Jesus is a choice.
Sometimes we think that just claiming the name of Christianity and acknowledging “one nation under God” is sufficient. We might even have made the decision to accept the sacrifice of the cross and consider ourselves saved by his grace.
The work isn’t done there. While the work of salvation was certainly done by Jesus; there is a response due from us to work it out in our daily lives. I am not always brave enough to ask God, “Is there anything you want from me?”
Yet I know, this is the key to growing up.
Just like a baby who doesn’t progress is developmentally delayed, we can be spiritually delayed.
And I fear I often am.
When I look at what I claim to believe, I need to examine if I look as “old” as I should be.
Time to look at our Father and ask him, is it time to grow up?

1 Corinthians 13:11
When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me.

If You Were Me

If you were me you would wake up at 4:30 a.m. on work days and around 6:30 on weekends. You would put your coffee pot together every evening so you can just push the button in the morning.
You’d say that doing your hair is the most stressful part of your day. And you’d spend too much money to be naturally blonde.
If you were me you would have just bought buttery yellow scrubs for work because you have a really cool buttery yellow beaded necklace that you never get to wear. And this would make perfect sense to you.
If you were me you’d be sure your right leg was shorter than your left leg by a few inches and you’d be right no matter that everybody at work says you’re nuts.
If you were me you’d have a set of vital signs written on your left hand right now.
If you were me you’d be wondering whatever possessed you to volunteer to work the last weekend when you didn’t have to.
If you were me you’d talk to yourself when driving alone. You’d go to bed at 7:00 p.m. and read for a half hour every night. You’d wonder what became of your homemaking skills. You’d regret eating too much today and then tell yourself a little more can’t hurt now.
If you were me you’d be very unambitious. You’d be more in love with your kids today than you’ve ever dreamed and so proud of them it hurts.
You’d be more in love with the Mr. than you were yesterday even though that’s impossible.
You’d watch old movies on television but not on DVD because that’s cheating.
If you were me you’d remind yourself every morning to watch your mouth and speak wisely. Every evening you’d wonder what happened to this great plan.
If you were me you would have big feet and lots of tennis shoes and like cheap jewelry but not care about real gold or precious gems.
If you were me you’d wear wax lips at work while sitting at the nurse’s station.
If you were me you’d love carbs and salty snacks and Dairy Queen vanilla soft serve with cherry dip.
If you were me you’d hate exercise (or really any movement that can be avoided) and hate your body but learn to live with it.
If you were me you’d have an 18 year old starting U of M D this week; an almost 17 year old starting his senior year and a 12 year old dog named Jazz.
You’d be married 20 years on October 25 and have been with the Mr. since you were 15 years old.
You’d never have tried drugs, alcohol or smoking.
If you were me you’d have accepted Christ at four years old and you’d rediscover him every day and still be amazed by grace.
If you were me you’d want time to stop so daboyz would stop growing up.
If you were me you’d have been praying for your daughters-in-law and grandchildren since you were in junior high.
If you were me your favorite thing to do would be to read and you’d be going out to dinner tonight because you’re too lazy too cook.
If you were me you wouldn't be able to tolerate manipulation or fakeness.
If you were me you'd be a pirate.
If you were me you'd be overwhelmed with gratitude that this is your life.
And if I were you I’d hop back to my own blog and write a post about how it would be to be you.
But that’s just me.

Psalm 139:13-14
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

Back to School

Happy Labor Day! I don't know what you're up to today but I'm working. So I guess it is truly labor day!
Anyway; my point is that this is the last hurrah, the final yahoo of summer and then the party's over. My kids are back to school. If you have them, I'm guessing yours are too.
It's a little melancholy for me this year. Jay is a college freshman with class starting Wednesday. Mac is a senior in high school.
But every year at this time since 1993 I've prayed the same prayer and it's always brought the grace and mercy into daboyz lives that I've believed for. So why change? It ain't broke, I ain't fixin' it.
For daboyz and dagirlz and all of the kids heading to school this year...

Dear Gracious Heavenly Father, Once again we send our children out into the world. We know it's a place that won't love them like we do and won't always encourage them to love you. But Lord, greater are you in them than what they will face in the world. We ask you to place a hedge around their physical bodies and give them safety and strength. Guard their hearts from doubt, fear and emotional attacks of the enemy. Give them wisdom and minds that always seek you in what they are being told and let them learn to compare the information they receive with your word. Give them victories that they can praise you for. Give them failures that will teach them to be humble but not break their spirits. Give them friends who love you that they can learn to serve you along side of. Give them teachers who follow you. Bless the buildings they will sit in and the people they will be with.
Father, if there is any person, adult or child, out there who might intend harm toward these precious kids; stop that plan now in the name of Jesus Christ. Put a barrier in front of that intent of destruction before it can materialize. Expose those individuals that they might be helped and saved from themselves.
Finally my Savior, I ask that you would lay a cloak of peace and joy around our children. And do a good work in us as parents that we might become worthy of this great gift you've placed in our hands.
Thank you God; for kindergartners and high schoolers and college students who will love you with their whole hearts and live lives to your glory.
In Jesus name.
Amen.

Psalm 25:21
May integrity and uprightness protect me, because my hope is in you.

Sunday, September 3, 2006

James 1:5-7
If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord;

Things That Are Weird

1. This dog.
2. Schizophrenia.
3. Mardis Gras.
4. My hair.
5. How everybody is getting old except the Mr. & I.
6. That daboyz are grown ups.
7. How I can't seem to spell words I know very well how to spell.
8. That I am a nurse.
9. That my mom, my sister and I all sound exactly alike.
10.People.

Ocean Floor

The mistakes I've made, that caused pain; I could have done without, all my selfish thoughts
All my pride, the things; I hide You have forgot about

They're all behind you, they`ll never find you
They're on the ocean floor, your sins are forgotten
They're on the bottom, of the ocean floor

My misdeeds, all my greed; All the things that haunt me now
They're not a pretty sight to see; But they`re wiped away
By a mighty mighty wave; A mighty mighty wave

They're all behind you, they`ll never find you
They're on the ocean floor, your sins are forgotten
They're on the bottom, of the ocean floor

Your sins are erased; And they are no more; They're out on the ocean floor

Take them away, to return no more; Take them away, to the ocean floor
To the ocean floor, to the ocean floor

They're all behind you, they`ll never find you; They're on the ocean floor, your sins are forgotten
They're on the bottom, of the ocean floor

Your sins are erased; And they are no more; They're out on the ocean floor

Your sins are forgotten; They're on the bottom; Of the ocean floor

Your sins are erased; And they are no more; They're out on the ocean floor

Ocean Floor by Audio Adrenalin

Sometimes it seems like this church kid never had an altar experience. No drama to put behind me. No history to try to erase.
And then there are the days; like today, when the reality of my state of grace washes over me...
My sins are forgotten, they’re on the bottom; out on the ocean floor.