But it isn't just in divorce this happens any longer. Young adults explore life in all manner of selfish ways telling themselves that when they find happiness, we will. If this means a different religion, an alternate life style, not holding down a steady job, living with someone outside of marriage, babies by different partners; if a person is enjoying themselves no one should judge them.
We take others along with us on our own selfish adventures as well. We spend too much money that ultimately comes out of the accounts that support our spouses and our kids. We even spend away the money that would pay for our retirements and allow our extravagance now to be someone else's worry later. Kids who went to Disney World as little ones won't go to college as young adults. We abuse our bodies by eating wrong, sedentary lifestyles, poor management of illnesses and not taking responsibility to know what we need to do for good health and then let our momentary enjoyment become the grief of loved ones who watch us fail and die slowly. But you should be happy as I eat myself into obesity, diabetes, hypertension, heart disease and just a general inability to keep up with life. You should be happy because I am happy while I am chewing this food in this moment. Be happy for me.
I have an idea that if we lived in not just concern but downright terror of the effects of our choices on other people, we'd be a very different people. Pleasing ourselves becomes a runaway train very quickly. Soon inconsequential moments of enjoying ourselves become decisions that change the course of other people's lives. It is like a teeter totter, I fly only if you fall.
And somehow we are convinced that you will fall with great pleasure just by watching me fly.
The problem is, no one wants to be the one to fall and we cannot all fly.
Romans 12:9-11Let love be without dissimulation. Abhor that which is evil; cleave to that which is good. Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another; Not slothful in business; fervent in spirit; serving the Lord...