Tuesday, January 06, 2009


Hi my name is Sara and I am a terrible witnesser. At least in the sense that I always understood it, I'm a terrible witnesser. My understanding of telling people about Jesus as a child demanded the in your face approach. Raised in a pentecostal church, we are not a people afraid to talk about hell. And your future there.

Annette Allen used to come to Sunday School every week and raise her hand to request prayer for at least 20 people, all of whom she had "led to the Lord" throughout the week. Friends, teachers, waitresses. Everywhere she went the glory fell and people repented. I started to panic that I had never led someone in the sinner's prayer. The sinner's prayer is very important. Sinner. This is how I found myself in the West Junior High School cafeteria once again venturing out to add a notch to my salvation belt. Over sloppy joes the Holy Spirit came upon me and prompted me to lead the table to Christ.

"Hey, if you aren't born again you are going to hell. "

Silence. Stares.

"Seriously, would you like to accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior? You can be forgiven of all of your sins right now. Before fourth hour. Limited time offer."

"I'm Catholic" says long-haired girl across the table.

I was ready for this. We Pentecostals know the problem with Catholics!

"A priest cannot forgive you of your sins. Only Jesus can. All of those confessions are a waste of time. You're going to hell. "

Still no takers. So I launched into the pentecostal house specialty. "You know, the Rapture is going to happen and you'll be left behind and tortured for seven years and not have any food and you'll want to die but you won't be able to and if you don't take the MARK OF THE BEAST you'll be put into prison and tortured even worse but if you do take the MARK OF THE BEAST you'll be doomed to hell forever and be ineligible for salvation. And it's gonna happen any second now. And all the Christians will disappear. I will disappear. And there will be a trumpet first but you won't hear it. Because you're a sinner and all. "

"Cool." says the burn-out.

"You won't think it's cool when the graves burst open and all the dead people who were Christians shoot up into the sky."

"What is the mark of the beast?" says a kid.

"It's 666 and it will be tattooed on your hand or your forehead."
"I'll just fake it" says the kid.

"You won't be able to, it'll probably actually be a micro chip and the BEAST will know."

"What is the beast?"

"A world leader, maybe Ronald Reagen because his names have six letters in each of them. That's a clue."

"So if you won't be able to die, you can like jump off a giant skyscraper and live?"


"So if you have cancer when the rapture comes you'll be cured."
"And if you live in Africa and never even heard of Jesus you'll have to get the Mark of the Beast? That's bogus."


The conversation lasted until the bell rang and once again, no salvation credits for me.

I'm happy to report my style has changed and today I rarely invoke the MARK OF THE BEAST as a means of turning people toward Jesus. Today I live for him fully instead of wearing him like a badge of honor to prove my superiority. I give him credit for my life. I pray for those in need. I try to live like Jesus did, in love and compassion with the pursuit of holiness always as my standard. I often fail, and I don't hide it when I do. I show my fear and faith at the same time. Jesus said if he was lifted up he would draw all men to him. I believe that people have a Jesus shaped hole and if I show him, they will be drawn to me. His love will compel them if I make myself available to share it. That's my witness.

I'll love you with the love of Jesus.


Amrita said...

Oh Dear Sara, that 's delghtfully funny and true also.

A big hug to you.

Happy New Year.

Donny 's got a mouthful, saw him on your Mom 's blog.

Jada's Gigi said...

Amen! and so funny..I can see the kids at my lunch table even now.
and all that Rapture talk...its still going on I'm sad to say...I don't think I've ever seen one person scared into heaven. :) I remember telling one of my Catholic friends ( not too many of those in Alabama I can tell you!) That she couldn't be a Christian cause they prayed to idols..and she said no we don't and I said so what are all those statues you pray to and she said I don't know but I"ll ask my mom. lol

If Christ is lifted up...that is our only assignment as far as witnessing...lift Him up.

Louise said...

Oh Thara, you described the pentecostal avenue of not leading people to Christ so well! It's wonderful of our Lord to let us grow and learn, isn't it?

Deb said...

This is too funny --I wrote something similar --although not nearly as comical! My cafeteria lunch table discussions were just like the one you described! Too funny. And we thought we were changing the world for Christ!

By the way...I have never actually led anyone in the sinner's prayer either. No notches in my belt!