Sunday, August 01, 2010

The Cassock

My friend Kevin called me into his office the other day to share something with me. He is thinking of wearing cassocks. I should explain that he is an ordained minister. But still, cassocks? He went on to say that he feels God leading him to reduce his possessions into only what would fit into a box. A box I tell you!
Then he told me about how he was at home the other day and looking around his living room he thought, “I really like this room!” “I like it a lot!” “What a nice and relaxing room!” “And if I ever move I would really need…” looks around room, “well, I would definitely want to take…” looking some more “well, I guess I would only need my Bible.”
A few evenings later he was getting into bed and thought, “This bedroom is the perfect place to get away from it all.” Well, you can probably figure out what came next. “But really I’d only need to take that cross that was my grandma’s and…well that’s about it.” This continued for about a week of putting on his cross in the morning and realizing that he only needed one cross and he could give the rest away to ministers who were newly ordained as a gift. One morning he looked at his grandfather’s ring on his right hand and his band on his left hand and decided he could give away the ring on the left hand and just move his grandfather’s ring. His birthday was that week and I sent him a fruit bouquet, I was afraid of buying something that wouldn’t fit into his box! He hasn’t told me exactly how big this box is.
Being a spiritual and supportive friend, I laughed at him and called him Friar Tuck for several days and suggested he sew some pockets inside of his cassock for extra storage in case his box gets lost.
And then, then! Then I was running errands and at Target where one is required to spend $150 even if one has only to buy Q-tips. I needed shampoo and toilet paper. I put the shampoo and t.p. into my cart and then proceeded to wander around Target. That’s a law, that you have to wander around before you check out to make sure you have your $150 accounted for. I finally got in line to leave and realized with horror that I only had shampoo and toilet tissue! I didn’t even need to use my debit card! Well needless to say I was flummoxed. Flummoxed!
Don’t worry too much, there is a Bigby’s on the way home so I at least I could stop for a mochacarmalattecapawhippyvente. And just as I was making the turn in a bizarre impulse overtook me. I could make coffee at home. Coffee from home! In the middle of the afternoon! Can one even make coffee at home after 10:00 a.m. if there is not birthday cake? Turns out you can. The things my mother never told me.
Now I’m a little worried because payday came and went and I didn’t feel like buying anything but groceries. I haven’t bought shoes in several months. I used to, back when we didn’t have two cents to rub together, buy shoes by the armloads at Payless. Quantity vs. quality was my motto!
What’s happening to me? I’m a little worried that Kevin is influencing me. I’ve asked him to keep his box list down to the cross and Bible so that if indeed God tells me to live in a box (well, not literally in a box), I can put a few of my overflow items into his.
However, I really hope the Lord doesn’t start mentioning cassocks. I fear I may have put my foot into my mouth on that one. Friar Tuck, I mean Kevin, will never let me live it down.


Becky said...


Pat said...

To bad your mother never told you that you could make coffee at home, even in the middle of the afternoon. You should have asked your Dad, he would have told you.

Mrs. Mac said...

I have similar thoughts .. especially having built a big home. A little two bedroom bungalow would be OK .. without a basement filled with stuff. But then I go and justify it by reasoning that during the winter I'd go stir crazy being such a homebody and only a small space to putter. Now, spending only cash is helping with being thrifty. It's a lot harder to part with a Ben Franklin or Andrew Jackson .. than swiping a plastic credit or debit card. I'm even fond of my George Washingtons ... and those little copper pennies with old Abe's bust on front. BTW making coffee in the afternoon is a big step for you;)

Jada's Gigi said...

this is too funny! but I must admit..I have had little inclination to shop of late...and that's just weird!

Amrita said...

Oh I could do with a woman 's version of a cassock and a box