Thursday, October 26, 2006

Desperado


Not long ago after working three Sundays in a row, I told my boss I had to get out of there early, by 10:30; to go to church. I had to.
It was the second song during praise and worship when I had settled into my usual seat. I love to worship but more than that; I need it. Worship reveals a part of myself that often gets pushed to the back of my heart; desperation.
Sweet desperation. I stood there stretching out toward heaven so aware of my desperation for God that I couldn’t stop the tears and didn’t want to. So desperate that I stopped being aware of the people around me, my flat singing voice or the band on the stage. So desperate that if I had the choice, I’d have left earth by whatever means possible to be a step closer to Him.
I’m desperate. There’s nothing here for me but chances to revel in that desperation. There’s nothing worth doing but stretching toward heaven until one day, I finally get there.
It’s not that I have some special “gift of desperation”. We’re all desperate. It’s a matter of embracing or rejecting our state. It’s a matter of reaching out or reaching in to fill the void.
I am so glad that I’m desperate.

Psalm 79:8-9
8 Do not hold against us the sins of the fathers; may your mercy come quickly to meet us,
for we are in desperate need.
9 Help us, O God our Savior, for the glory of your name; deliver us and forgive our sins for your name's sake.

5 comments:

Becky said...

i think there is a lot of that going around!

Margie said...

I think that being desperate is a good thing, we realize that we NEED something in our lives. We all need to be filled up with Jesus, everyone is desperate for it. They try to fill the hole with something else and instead of them taking hold of God, those awful things take ahold of them (us).

Deb said...

margie said it so well...when people aren't desperate for God and fill that void with something else...it takes ahold of them.

...praying that I and my family are always desperate for the Lord...

KayMac said...

whew! thanks for bringing us all a step closer through this devotional.

Jada's Gigi said...

I thank my God that He keeps me "poor in spirit" and in desperate need of Him...glad I'm nto the only one...:)