Parent Trap

My kids are perfect!
Well, maybe not.
But they are pretty good. I like ‘em.
They have certainly given me almost no problems and the promised teenage rebellion never happened.
Yup, I think I’ll keep e’m.
I’m not ready to write the official book of perfect parenting because if I am the author, the perfect part is pretty much a lie.
I have made sooooooooo many mistakes. Some were frankly, the result of selfishness or laziness or some other ness that I wish I could erase from their childhoods. I’ve done lots of apologizing to daboyz. They are very gracious forgivers.
The stuff I thought were mistakes, like ice cream sundaes for breakfast turned out to be genius.
The things that are supposed to be good parenting like music lessons, little league and organized play dates turned out to mean basically nothing at the end of the day.
Oh, it’s nice to play an instrument. It’s nice to play sports. Blah, blah blah.
It doesn’t make any kid into a good person but it often makes the parent feel like they are good parents.
I did many of the good parents things. It didn’t make me a good parent.
I didn’t do many other good parent things. I’m still a good parent.
Yes, I said it. I am a good parent.
And it has nothing to do with karate lessons or not letting my kids eat processed sugar.
I never gave them baby carrots for a snack unless they wanted baby carrots and I let them drink pop.
I never carried hand-sanitizer and I let them drink after me when I had a cold.
I kissed them on the lips and spanked them on their butts.
I warned them to run into their rooms and be quiet so I didn’t ripoff their faces.
I am a good parent.
I did only one thing consistently and with passion and commitment. I gave them to Jesus.
I told them that He was the only answer and their only hope. And when the Bible or God’s voice in my heart instructed me regarding their upbringing, that became the law.
I was willing to negotiate on healthy lunches.
On God, there was no compromise.
With that determination came some accusations that I am too strict and authoritarian.
Daboyz said please and thank you. They did what they were told. They paid the consequences when they didn’t. They suffered corporal punishment and groundings and loss of privileges. They were told to shut their mouths when they got lippy and expected to speak with respect even when they were angry. When toys weren’t put away in reasonable time after several requests, said toys hit the curb.
When grades were below par; an explanation was required and yes I’ll use the word...they were punished. Good grades were not optional. They were expected.
And God help daboy whose teacher reported poor conduct!
If you are my child and expect to live here; you will not lie, curse or live in any way that contradicts the Word of God.
I am not interested in “high spirits” or “strong wills” or “individual personalities” or “expressing themselves”.
P.S. Explanations welcome, excuses...NEVER.
This house is not a democracy. Children will obey their parents here. Parents are not afraid of their children here.
Do daboyz always like me? No. I don’t care. I’m not here to be friends. I’m here to guide a life created by God from birth to heaven. I’m way too busy to be buddies.
I’ve been asked how one accomplishes the work of parenting. It’s pretty easy actually. You don’t try to talk your kids into agreeing with you; you expect them to comply regardless.
Expectations.
I expect daboyz to serve Christ. With that service comes a life in good order.
How do I know it’ll work?
God told me!! It’s true or He’s a liar.
None of my parenting was perfect. I spent so much time on my knees they should be raw and cried so many tears I should be dehydrated.
Loving our children isn’t expressed in any act if it’s lived out in the absence of giving them Jesus.
And there is no good parent who doesn’t rely on Him.
If we could just trade in the figure skating lessons for Sunday School. If we could just trade Dr. Phil for prayer. If we could just stop trying to look like good parents and be good parents.
If we could just stop negotiating and start expecting....
We don’t need to worry about kids; we need to take a magnifying glass to their parents.
We need to figure out just exactly where it is we want these kids to go.

Proverbs 22:6
Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.