I just don’t fit in. And I don’t mean that in the classic sense of being in but not of the world, and therefore it being a good thing. I don’t fit in anywhere.
I sit amongst wonderful people and don’t fit in. I spend time with brothers and sisters with whom I share the same passion for Christ and I don’t fit in.
I go to work and spend my days side by side with people who have the same goals I do and I don’t fit in.
I listen to thoughts and principles and ideas that I find no fault with and I don’t fit in. I want to stand up and say “Hey! Count me in!” but I don’t necessarily want to be counted in, truth be told.
I’m weird. Square peg; round hole. Freak. Odd.
I know very few people that don’t fit in quite to the extent that I don’t fit in. We have something of a secret society that communicates by winks and nods and hand signals. You know who you are. The rest of you know who we are; because we don’t fit in with you.
I bet you’re waiting for me to do the big reveal; how this is a glorious thing because...
But I really don’t know if it is a glorious thing. I don’t know if it’s a bad thing either. I can’t figure out what to do, if I should do anything; about not fitting in.
The Mr. and I were talking about this the other day. I was kind of testing the waters. You know what I mean, when you suspect you’re weird so you ask some leading questions to find out if you’re really weird or if other people are secret weirdos too. Of course, if we are all weirdos, maybe none of us are weirdos. At least that’s what we’re hoping.
Turns out that I am weird. He has only very subtle shadings of the things that pretty much define my inner-most being.
Since I’m exploring whether I should feel compelled to attempt to fit in I was picking his brain for his thoughts on the subject. He had no insight. I think he knows I’m a weirdo and doesn’t want to hurt my feelings.
My big question is, is it ok to not fit in? Honestly, I don’t care if I fit in or not. I’m more concerned about how my lack of fitting in is affecting everybody else. I really don’t want to reject or hurt anyone, but then again; we all know the secret. Sara doesn’t fit in.
I hear the collective sigh. I can already see you typing furiously to reassure me that I do fit in and you love me. You’re 50% right. I know you love me. And, nope, I don’t fit in.
So since you’re already typing, tell me what you think. What if at this middle-aged point in my life, I just quit trying. Would it destroy our relationship if we just all admitted that I’m not a joiner? Are we strong enough to call it like it is? I really don’t know the answer to that.
What I do know is that I didn’t fit in at Taylor Parks Elementary School and not a blessed thing has changed since. Actually that’s not true. What has changed is that it doesn’t bother me.
As long as it doesn’t bother you.
So what do you say, can I not fit in and still feel like we belong to each other?
Just wondering.
Acts 2:44
All the believers were together and had everything in common.
12 comments:
I don't fit in either. Most people tell me that I'm "an individual who doesn't care what people think." I seriously think that's just the nice way of putting that I'm weird.
It's taken me a lot of years to accept myself the way God made me. Now I don't mind not fitting in.
Anyway, doesn't not fitting in just mean that we're cooler than everyone else?
all the best people don't fit in.
their uniqueness is the source of their fabulousness.
Vicki Sue was the person who steered me to your blog. She had been reading your posts and she said to me one morning, "Kathy, you HAVE to read this blog. YOU will love it!" I haven't stopped since that day.
One thing has changed since then tho, Sara...I stopped just gleaning from your insight, wisdom, and humor...and began caring about you...Sara..the Teacher Wrapped in a Nurse...wink.
But, I won't say that I am glad to share a friendship with you even if it is just via the web....because you might think I am trying to convince you that you "fit in". And I won't remind you that you are the only blogger I know who goes on vacation, and gets 30-40 comments from your blogger pals who are still visiting your site even though they know you are gone. (I do wonder if all leaders feel like they don't fit in? something to ponder.)
Square peg round hole, round peg square hole...I am glad that the rest of us are challenged and inspired and motivated and yes, even entertained by your "not fitting in". Here's to being different!!!
So you do't fit in! Big deal! Jesus didn't fit in too well either. And it's OK. :)
if you "fit in", we would never have become friends and i would be distastrously boring and nowhere NEAR as fabulous. and i'd have no one to defend me when i get yelled at for sitting in a corner reading when church dinners are occurring in another room.
but we must also address the fact that nobody believes they "fit in", and there are variations of the definition. it can mean "i have nothing in common with anyone i know and people tend to flee when i approach", or "i have a group of friends who love me, though i hide a lot of my eccentricities so as to not draw attention to myself... but sometimes i walk away feeling like i'm missing out on something", or "i love to say i dont fit in so as to appear tortured and cool even though i have absolutely no substance whatsoever".
obviously, those last people are gay.
It's genetic. It's both good and bad.
It's bad if you stop sharing all the gifts Gods has given you to help others.
It's good that you are comfortable with yourself.
Want me to sing "NO man is an island...no man stands alone... OK, I'll stop!
The world could use more of your kind of weird.
...No man is an island,
No man stands alone,
Each man's joy is joy to me,
Each man's grief is my own.
We need one another,
So I will defend,
Each man as my brother,
Each man as my friend...
Sorry. I had to keep singing the song that your Mother started. (not my fault).
I think this: ditto what kaymac says.
Be different. Don't be normal.
Don't fit in. Don't fuss about whether or not it's weird. Be true to yourself...yada yada yada.
Whatever makes you happy.
Just keep Jesus first and don't worry 'bout a thing...
(by the way...I don't fit in either. I think I would fit into Tina's "group B") No wait, I just said I DON'T fit in. Nevermind.
fitting in! i HATED that part of school. now i find my self not fitting in with the world's standards-and that's ok by me! i can't wait to see the face of Jesus when it will no longer be an issue. one body. one christ. one god. one spirit.
I do not fit in either Sara. I think mostly because it is a challenge for me to even be around other people. I would honestly rather be alone , or just with my family and I. I like my alone time.. But that is why you and I get along so well, we are both weird...
BUT>>> I like it that way!
Sara, now don't go feeling so bad about yourself ... see, you have lots of weird friends :) that don't fit in to keep you company (lol)
Sara, now don't go feeling so bad about yourself ... see, you have lots of weird friends :) that don't fit in to keep you company (lol)
We all don't fit in... together...
great post.
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