Oh how I dread going to church! I almost hate it! There are little details that would make for a conversation about this inner struggle of mine but they are not really all that important. Here's what often happens-
The Mr. leaves for church by 7:30 a.m. and gets home around 2:00 p.m. because he plays for all three services. So we all realize that I am not one of those lovely Christian women who goes along and finds something to do for six hours, right? Yes yes yes I know that there are a lot of things I could be doing. The point is that we drive separately to church and I meet him there for one service and then I go home. As I write this it is another Sunday morning that he's already been at church for two hours and I'm sipping my coffee trying to motivate. The problem is that I just really love being here in my quiet little house. In more ways than church, it feels like church in that it refreshes, renews and restores me. So what's the problem? Never mind, I don't really want to hear it.
Sitting here this morning having decided that I will go to church mostly because the Mr. is expecting me I had an epiphany. Finally something that made sense to me. I have been wrestling with going to church when I only have a few hours a week to be home and quiet; going just because the Mr. keeps trying to convince me (unsuccessfully) that I'll like it; going because that is what Christians do; going because...whatever.
But today the first truly motivating concept of this lifelong sruggle broke through. God has pointed out to me that there is strength to be gained in the simple sacrifice of my preference. Yes, I'd rather stay home. And frankly, no, I do not agree that staying home compromises my relationship with the Lord.
But every single time I simply submit my own preferences, give up my own desires; this is where Christ finds a foothold in my heart.
Huh.
Written 1/17/10
The Mr. leaves for church by 7:30 a.m. and gets home around 2:00 p.m. because he plays for all three services. So we all realize that I am not one of those lovely Christian women who goes along and finds something to do for six hours, right? Yes yes yes I know that there are a lot of things I could be doing. The point is that we drive separately to church and I meet him there for one service and then I go home. As I write this it is another Sunday morning that he's already been at church for two hours and I'm sipping my coffee trying to motivate. The problem is that I just really love being here in my quiet little house. In more ways than church, it feels like church in that it refreshes, renews and restores me. So what's the problem? Never mind, I don't really want to hear it.
Sitting here this morning having decided that I will go to church mostly because the Mr. is expecting me I had an epiphany. Finally something that made sense to me. I have been wrestling with going to church when I only have a few hours a week to be home and quiet; going just because the Mr. keeps trying to convince me (unsuccessfully) that I'll like it; going because that is what Christians do; going because...whatever.
But today the first truly motivating concept of this lifelong sruggle broke through. God has pointed out to me that there is strength to be gained in the simple sacrifice of my preference. Yes, I'd rather stay home. And frankly, no, I do not agree that staying home compromises my relationship with the Lord.
But every single time I simply submit my own preferences, give up my own desires; this is where Christ finds a foothold in my heart.
Huh.
Written 1/17/10
3 comments:
I could stay home... and now with Phyllis's crazy work schedule... I do
I talked with a man today whose wife died Jan. 3. During our conversation he talked about why we go to church. He said (and I agree with him) that it isn't to win the lost ... it isn't to prove anything to anyone ... it's simply to gather with others to WORSHIP our Father. To offer our voices in song, to hear the Word preached, to take in His presence and love Him. To call Him Abba Father and love Him. How simple is that?
I go to church to PRAISE God, with those who came in fr the same reason.
It also is vital to gather and not forsake the coming together of the brethren, so we can all help each other grow. Like your blog says "we are all just walking each other home" that's the mindset I use being with the other Christians at church! I can also understand your frustration sitting through 3 services, so one should do. I think its OK to be there for just one service.
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