Sunday, October 21, 2012


Twenty six years married on the twenty fifth of this month and thirty years going steady on the 19th of November.  If there is any advice I'd share with couples, it would be simply, just stay. 
I've been tempted to end our marriage with divorce and I've acted foolishly by allowing distance where there should be none.  Nothing dramatic has come between us in twenty years but still, we sometimes need reminders to stay.  Stay interested and emotionally close, stay physically affectionate and sweet. 
I mentioned on Saturday that the Mr. had some sweet surprises for me on Friday evening; flowers & a card, dinner and over night to a hotel.  There's a local hotel we started "running away" to when Dean was caring for his dad, close enough to easily respond in case of an emergency but still feels like a get-away.  As we were having dinner, I told my husband that I must be changing because I was never a flowers and romantic evening kind of girl.  I've always preferred a quiet evening at home in my pajamas.  Then he said something profound,
"I want to learn how to love you better every day."
There are different kinds of staying.  Staying for the kids, the financial security.  Staying because divorce is against one's faith or because it's just plain old familiar where you are and starting over is too much work.  Staying out of habit or fear or because it's the right thing to do.
Then there is intentional staying.  Staying because you believe there is something in marriage that represents the love of God for His bride and it's the description of His love for us.  Staying the way God stays means sometimes resting quietly together and sometimes running after the one who wanders.  It means wrapping yourself around the one you love to protect him from the arrows of the enemy.  It means covering their faults with your strength.  Staying means being humble enough to be weak and even to be carried in the arms of the one who loves you at your worst.
It means learning every day, how to love better.  And then doing it.
Today, look at your spouse and make a decision.


Trish said...

Oh, I'm staying...he couldn't run me off with a stick! God chose Tomer just for me and we have been together since I was just 14 and he 17...and that's a LONG time! Lol.

Jada's Gigi said...

this is so true, sister....I have often told younger couples...."just don't leave" our youth we were both too stubborn to leave..if anyone was going it was the Other party...:) Now we stay...because...well...all the reasons you just noted...there is power in STAYING.

Bonnie said...

Amen. (married 30 years)