New Year's Wishes

It seems on this last evening of 2012, there should be something profound to share here.  At least a heartwarming retrospective?  Alas, I am feeling quiet and don't find great and inspirational words bubbling up within.
Our New Year's Eve plans are simple.  I just hung that new shower curtain from TJ Maxx that I mentioned on Saturday.  The Mr. went and got it for me while I was at work.  It's as fabulous as I knew it would be!  I shall have to find my camera to prove it to you.
He's now making a chicken stir fry for our dinner.  It smells delicious and my mouth is starting to water.
We're already attired in our pajamas and if we greet the new year with our eyes still open, I'll be surprised. 
So I wish you all that heaven has to offer in 2013.  I wish you the difficult conversations that will open new doors to greater joy than you have ever known.  I wish you challenges that will bring you to the throne of God and make you cling to him more tightly.  I wish you the courage to face bad hair days by laughing in the mirror and the satisfaction of knowing you are more than your hair. 
I wish you Jesus.

General stuff & nonsense

1.  It's snowing and I'm drinking coffee and going nowhere-perfection.
2.  Mac's girl Susan gave me a Yankee Candle-Kitchen Spice scent...oooooh!
3.  The Mr. unclogged our toilet, guess he didn't want my help ;)
4.  Thinking about making fried shrimp and onion rings for dinner.
5.  Donny has impulsively buried all of his tennis balls in the snow, now he wanders around looking panicked.
6.  Speaking of snow, I lurv snow!
7.  Speaking of snow some more, I lurv having a garage.
8.  I'm making oatmeal with brown sugar & cream as soon as I'm done with this groundbreaking post.
9.  I found a super cute shower curtain at TJ Maxx, refused to stand in line 'cause it stretched to Montana and now I can't stopping thinking about that super cute shower curtain.
10. Did you know goats enjoy eating left over Christmas trees (real ones that is?)

Confession

There is so much of moral decay and shifting principles in American society that it's not difficult to compose of list of that which must grieve the Holy Spirit.  Over the last week of the Christmas season, I was at first offended (yes at God) and then humbled with repentance when my own sin was brought before my eyes.  I come to you sharing this confession as the Bible commands~

Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.

James 5:16

I have given my mind over into unthankful arrogance. 

I have complained within my spirit and aloud about my job.  I was wrong to have done this, it was sinful and I repent sincerely.  I now understand the truth about my job.  I am either outside of the will of God and need to seek employment elsewhere so that I will find peace and joy in my work; or I am doing God's will and I need to rejoice in the peace of his provision.  I have been like the children of Israel in the wilderness, complaining when God rained food from heaven~

But now our soul is dried away: there is nothing at all, beside this manna, before our eyes.

Numbers 11:6

Having been put in a position of leadership, I have turned my ear toward people instead of toward God and found myself exhausted in trying to please others.  I have second guessed myself when people complained. 

I have fallen into, perhaps, the most unholy refrain...it's not fair.

Isn't that, after all, what satan said?

It's not fair that I don't have things the way I want them?  Although I live in the very presence of God, I want something different.  I want something that suits me better.  What more repugnant thought is there than the idea of something other than God's presence being better? 

It's not fair that I work hours that I wish to be at home.  It's not fair that I make less money than others whom I feel don't work as hard as I work.  It's not fair that I am held responsible for things that others slip past.  It's not fair that this job interferes with my ideas about what I want my days to be. 

I've only just begun to consider that it is not the stress of my work that has cost me my health this year, it's my management of satan's lies.  I

It's not fair that I work these hours?  Tell that to a soldier.

It's not fair that I make less money than someone else?  Go get an advanced degree, put in ten more years of service and you will have earned it.

It's not fair that I am held responsible when others aren't?  I answer to God, as do others.  He is a righteous judge. 

The 'it's not fairs' are like bile in my mouth upon deeper consideration.  It speaks of entitlement, of pride and arrogance. 

At the moment that Jesus died, the right to complain about my station in life died with him.  Do I erase the gift of grace by demanding my just due?  Oh be careful to do such a thing.  If there is anything I don't want, it's what I deserve.

So I come to you confessing the ugliness of my heart and seeking God's forgiveness.  I ask your forgiveness, also, for the words I have posted here that have expressed self pity and ingratitude when I should have been lifting Christ's name in praise and thankfulness. 





December 26

Mason!  Christmas Day

Waiting, waiting, planning, planning and then it's over!  We had a wonderful Christmas at my sister's yesterday and today it's back to work for me.  I'm a little ( a lot) jealous of  those who are off this week.  That's a bit of a whine more than a complaint.  Those of us without little ones were happy to give this week off to those with young children at home.  Wonderful people did that for me all of those years ago and now that it's my turn, I'm reminded of and thankful for that blessing.    And anyway, what a lovely Christmas Eve and Christmas Day still lingering in my memories!
And blowing snow today and in the morning, to which I say Hooray! 
Christmas highlights of 2012?  Mac's girlfriend Susan who has moved from Vermont to spend her first Christmas here in Michigan.  What a wonderful young lady, we are so blessed to have her in our lives.  She is, perhaps, the hardest working person I've ever met!  She laughs a lot and to hear the two of them laughing together is like music.  Most importantly, she loves Jesus.  Family who we haven't seen in a few years were able to join us for Christmas dinner, filling Amy's home with yet more joy.  And I have mentioned Mason?  Mason is my sister's grandson and just about the best thing ever! 
Well, like it or not it's time to get myself moving and face the day ahead.  I'm going to plan on a day basking in the afterglow of such a wonderful holiday.  Long after the tree is put away and life returns to normal, Jesus will remain at the center of this life and as Christmas joy fades into memory we will simply settle back into joy unspeakable, and full of glory.

Merry Christmas~

In the bleak mid-winter

Frosty wind made moan,
Earth stood hard as iron,
Water like a stone;
Snow had fallen, snow on snow,
Snow on snow,
In the bleak mid-winter
Long ago.

Our God, Heaven cannot hold Him
Nor earth sustain;
Heaven and earth shall flee away
When He comes to reign:
In the bleak mid-winter
A stable-place sufficed
The Lord God Almighty,
Jesus Christ.

Enough for Him, whom cherubim
Worship night and day,
A breastful of milk
And a mangerful of hay;
Enough for Him, whom angels
Fall down before,
The ox and ass and camel
Which adore.

Angels and archangels
May have gathered there,
Cherubim and seraphim
Thronged the air,
But only His mother
In her maiden bliss,
Worshipped the Beloved
With a kiss.

What can I give Him,
Poor as I am?
If I were a shepherd
I would bring a lamb,
If I were a wise man
I would do my part,
Yet what I can I give Him,
Give my heart.

By Christina Rossetti 1872

Christmas Eve

Christmas Eve, here at last!  It seems a long time ago that I spent Thanksgiving ill in bed while the Mr. served dinner and then on Friday, put up our Christmas tree.  The gifts under our tree have been wrapped and ready for about three weeks now.  Just this weekend I finally did a little baking, not so much as usual this year.  Mostly bar cookies, the lazy baker's friend :)  Lemon squares for Jay, walnut balls and magic cookie bars for the Mr., raisin oatmeal cookie bars and ginger molasses bread for Mac.  There will be our traditional Mexican wedding cake for dessert this evening following our Mexican feast, prepared by the Mr. while I'm at work.  Happily, our precious Lisa has come through again with her famous Wyatt fudge.  I suspect my family was more concerned with that than my humble offerings anyway! 
Today I'll go to work and hope for a peaceful day.  I'll come home around 4:00 and I'm expecting daboyz and Susan (Mac's girl) to be waiting to start the party.  Christmas Eve is always spent at home, the four of us and sometimes a girlfriend.  We are never quite sure, do we open gifts tonight or in the morning?  Maybe just one...or just two?  It doesn't really matter since it's not the gifts that draw us here.  Our house will feel a little bit too small to hold the massive Mexican buffet and the overflowing happiness and love.  I like this too small feeling of our home.  We seem tucked away, safe and warm.  Visions of the Ingalls in their cabin in the Big Woods drift across my imagination.  Jay, although he's lived on his own for years now, always brings his duffel bag and spends the night on Christmas Eve.  After all, Santa is on his way and a person needs quick access to his stocking!  We'll open what remains under the tree and I'll make waffles while the Mr. makes thick cut bacon and scrambled eggs.  Strong coffee will be served in big mugs to my big boys.  We'll sit around with bed hair sticking up in our pajamas admiring the stack of discarded gift wrap. 
I must assume that when daboyz marry, dawives will not care to spend the night here on Christmas Eve.  Good heavens, they may even have parents of their own with whom to share their time! (Note to self, encourage daboyz to date orphans.)  I don't dread the day when we fall asleep in a quiet house on December 24, no giggling boys (ahem, men,) staying up too late in the family room.  The here and now always becomes memory, as it should and must be.  We may have a houseful on Christmas Eve for Mexican food, grandchildren with tacos in hand making this house smaller yet.  Perhaps we'll be alone some years, just the two of us?  That's ok too.  Waffles for ten or for two on Christmas morning?  Fine either way.  We'll hold tight to our loved ones, not our schedules.  
Where is the birth of the Christ child in these rambling thoughts?  In the center and all around us. He is the foundation upon which our house is built, he is the roof that shelters us from the rain and the walls that buffer us from the cold winds.  It is he whose love has taught us to love with arms open and hearts sure, without fear of tomorrow.  He who gives us glorious joy today, so much that it can't be held to twenty four hours.  Indeed, it exceeds the days of an entire lifetime and spills over into eternity.  We will hold one another as humbly as Mary held her baby boy, with amazement and wonder.  I leave you, then, with my favorite Christmas scripture.  The one that captures all of the dazzle of this season of miracles and expresses just exactly what Christmas means to me...

But Mary kept all these things, and pondered them in her heart.

Luke 2:19

I wish you a quiet heart, to ponder what manner of love the Father has shown us this season.

Elf Chores

1. Wrapping a few final gifts.
2. Baking.
3. Doctor's appointment.
4. Laundry.
5. Listening to Christmas music.
6. Making chicken & dumplings for dinner.
7. Ordering a shrimp tray for Christmas.
8. Devotional & prayer time.
9. Pinterest...in case I've missed something!
10. Cocoa from scratch.

Save Us

I was talking to the Lord yesterday and considering the gift of Jesus, found myself thanking God for his son and wondering where I'd be without Christ.
The truth is, I don't think I would be.  I think without Jesus,  mankind would have self destructed long ago.  Consider 2000 years without redemption, without the Holy Spirit, without grace.  I can't consider it, can't even imagine it.  I don't think we'd have made it this far.  I know what kind of mess I can make in a matter of days when I drift away from the Lord's heart and lean on myself.  The vile thoughts and hateful words that can so quickly settle into my heart, and this is living in redemption.  In a world of Christianity, with people praying around the globe, man fights against righteousness to embrace evil.  Without Jesus at the right hand of the Father interceding for us?  No, I don't think there would be any more of mankind to wonder about.  Those who did not kill others would kill themselves in the despair of such a vacuum of mercy. 
So I am not thinking about where I'd be without Christ this Christmas.  I'm thankful that I am 2000 years post redemption.  I live on the resurrection side of the manger.  The Mr. plays bass for the Chuck Tocco band and the other day on the way to work, I was listening to their live CD and these words caught my heart...

Love was the force that held you to the cross, 'cause nails couldn't hold you; couldn't hold you down.

I cannot imagine it, I cannot take it in.  Such love that could not be held back.  Such love that made God run, bleeding, after me; to pull me to himself.  He called on all that he is, creator of the universe, and paid the price for my eternity. 

Disarming a shooter

We have a new breed of threat to add to our vocabulary.  Shooter.  Someone who walks into a public place and opens fire on people he doesn't know.  Sometimes there are one or two among the victims that knew the shooter, those situations seem to make us feel the tiniest bit less vulnerable.  At least there was a reason.  As if that is a reason.
It's human nature to assign blame.  I have a theory that by pinning responsibility on someone else, we absolve ourselves.  And we feel less afraid, because once we decide why it happened we think we can prevent it. 
So who raises a shooter?  Who gives birth to him?  Who has first grade pictures with missing front teeth on their living room walls to prove that this monster was once a regular kid?  We know a few things for sure, the shooter is usually quiet and introverted or outgoing and really friendly.  They had learning disabilities or were geniuses.  They were bullied.  They were bullies. 
Always, we can't believe it.
We long for the details, the history that tells the whole story.  I do, at least.  I can't get enough of the human-ness of the shooter.  The regular stuff.  Those elementary school pictures that are shown on CNN, I could stare at them for hours.  The junior high basketball player who grows up and kills a room full of people.  Shouldn't someone that disturbed be too, I don't know, messed up to play basketball? 
Who raises a shooter? 
Satan.
Not satan standing in the middle of a pentagram painted in red on a teenager's bedroom wall.  Or subliminally sung backwards in a song or at the end of a virtual assault rifle in a video game.  Nothing so obvious or, we think, preventable.  The satan responsible for the shooter is the one who wants only one thing, you in hell.  That's it, that's the motivation we want as we ask why oh why oh why? 
So satan can have him, the shooter, in hell.
Jesus is all that has ever saved us and all that will stop the shooter.  Jesus, redeemer of the world.  It doesn't really matter all that much, those details we are so hungry for.  All that truly matters is that each of us takes on the great commission, go ye into all the world!
Pentagrams on the walls, offensive music, video games and Harry Potter and camo and vile language and defiance and horror movies?  Assault weapons?  The internet?    Those are distractors.  Those are the things that we focus on when in fact, they will burn in the end with the rest of earth's temporal details.  They make people unlikeable, they encourage debates and polarization in families and in Washington.  All the while, little boys with gap toothed grins are growing up into shooters.  Under our noses.  Yours and mine.  After all, we could be the next citizen to gaze into the camera and tell the reporter, "I just can't believe it."
We need Jesus to turn us into lovers of the unlovable.  Until we can consider the names of Klebold and Harris, Adam Lanza and all of the ones who will yet become another name on the list of shooters and be broken into people that can love them and mourn for them; we have failed.
And in our failure, we have become a people who give birth to shooters.
It's a hard pill to swallow.  But we all bear the responsibility to love them, both before and after the gunfire.  There is not expression of Jesus except love.  Only God could give us that kind of love, it will never make sense.  And we'll never know how many shooters we disarmed on this side of heaven.  So I will thank you now.  Thank you to those who loved with the unreasonable love of Jesus and stopped the shooter before he aimed his hatred at Jay and Mac.  Or Dean.  Or my parents or sister and her family.
Thank you, you saved my family's lives.
I promise, I will do the same for you.

Matthew 5: 43 “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ 44 But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45 that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. 46 If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? 47 And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? 48 Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.  Revelation 21:4

Kyrie eleison; Christe eleison

I had my usual Saturday list all ready for today.  What a different day this is than the usual Saturday. 
I was at a meeting at the home of my boss for our Christmas brunch and 2013 planning session when I got the text from the Mr. asking, "Did you hear about the elementary school shooting?"
And Sandyhook Elementary School was added to a dark list; 9/11, Columbine, Virginia Tech,...
And in my spirit, over and over...Lord have mercy, Christ have mercy.  It was the only prayer I could compose within my grieving heart.
Lord have mercy, Christ have mercy.
I know, the phrase is part of a Catholic litany and I'm not Catholic.  But I've always found it such a simply perfect refrain...Lord have mercy, Christ have mercy.
After all, it was the mercy of the Lord that gave us Christ and the mercy of Christ that gave us hope.
Indeed's God's mercy is all we have and all that we need.
That said, would you pardon me an editorial moment? 
I've worked my entire adult life with kids.  Six years as a paraprofessional to emotionally impaired 4,5, and 6th graders.  Ten years as a youth minister in our church, 5 years as the Elder of Education. 
I'm approaching my 8th year as a psychiatric nurse, my second year focusing on children.
I mourn today as a mom with unapologetic gratitude that this was not my children's school.  And I mourn as someone who has been required by God to do battle for other people's children.  It feels like a kind of double grief.  As I thank God for his protection over my kids, I put myself under a microscope.  Did I do enough to reach the kids who have passed through my life over these 25 years?  Did I avert one of these children from growing into a "shooter?"  My work isn't done, and I am newly reminded of the responsibility I bear to keep pulling children back from the edge of hell.  I'm not able, on my own, to accomplish this task.  Lord have mercy, Christ have mercy.  This is my whispered prayer.
I ask you, then, for a very personal favor.  I respect the rights of everyone to have opinions and to bear this dark sadness by whatever means allows them to process it.  But I also ask, spare me the gun control conversations.  From either side of the aisle.  Spare me.  I'm fragile right now.  Every word I hear uttered on the news about gun control (pro or con) sickens me.  It makes me ask, "how have you already stopped crying?"  It makes me think, "Your own agenda is what is first on your mind?" These debates and speeches are the only thing that have made me truly angry.  And so forgive me when I say, please, stop.  I can't listen to it. 
And then the conversation about mental health.  We neglect the mentally ill in this country.  If the gun control passion were even partially harnessed on behalf of this issue, I'd venture to say that gun control wouldn't be such a fearsome threat.  When you pass a dirty and mumbling person (which most of us have,)  does your heart break?  Do you scream within your spirit, "Who is helping?"  Do we march on Washington on behalf of those whose minds are too broken to speak for themselves?   Lord have mercy, Christ have mercy.  While I'm ranting, autism is  not a predictor of violence.  If you happen to overhear a conversation that points to autism as an explanation, stop it.
Parents and grandparents are all gripped by the terror and we mourn with a corner of our hearts that knows we could not bear this if it was our child.  We should be bowed with worship and gratitude even as we go about the tasks of the day. 
All of us, however, know someone who spends their days in the company of children not their own.  Pediatric health care providers.  Teachers, school system employees, therapists, Sunday School teachers, police & fire fighters and others too numerous to list.  I ask, as someone on the front line, please pray for us.  Deal with us gently.  We feel a responsibility to change the path of the future and to protect the ones in our care in the present.  We consider Sandy Hook Elementary as mourning parents.  And we play the scene inside our minds with ourselves standing in front the children and pray that we would have had the courage to shield them. 
There is only one comfort for me, only one thing that I care to hear-
Lord have mercy, Christ have mercy.

Wrapping up the week!

Good Friday morning Friends!

Soooo glad that it's Friday :)  My boss is hosting a Christmas brunch at her home this morning for the Nurse Leadership Group where we'll be having our planning meeting for 2013. I'm hoping all is peaceful and well at the hospital.  It's a little nerve-wracking to be off site for the day.  Would you pray for a wonderful day for the staff?  

I'm making this recipe to contribute to the meal.  Sounds pretty good, huh? 

The Mr. is off on Fridays so he's already up and out of the house finishing up a few Christmas shopping items yet on his list.  Thank heavens for a husband who likes to do errands! 

I'll be having reduction mammoplasty (breast reduction) on January 14 so I arranged my leave of absence this week and the Mr. is applying for a FMLA to give me a hand in the first few days following my surgery. My mom is having her knee replaced at the same time so we'll be a hot mess here in the Mitten for a minute!
My bro-in-law and future nephew-in-law both have December birthdays and on Sunday the family is gathering here for a birthday dinner after church.  Lasagna!  Have I told you about my giant lasagna pan?  Oh law!  It's a big 'un!  I use 2 boxes of lasagna pasta, 5 pounds of meat, 2 large spag sauces, 2 large ricotta, 2 large mozzarella to create one Grande lasagna!  My mom will supply the bread and salad and Amy will bring the cake and ice cream.  Love love love family gatherings.  Amy's daughter Sarah and Tim (the birthday boy) will be getting married after Christmas and their sweet baby boy Mason is the first of the next generation to join us.  Wouldn't take nothin' for my journey now...life is good around here.
Well, I'd better get a move on.  Need to assemble that fruit salad and make myself presentable.  One of the goals my boss has given me is to "unplug" from work worries.  She keeps reminding me that I have a blackberry, they can reach me if they need me.  Yeah yeah yeah...I'm workin' on it.  So today is an opportunity to start working on that goal.  I bickered a bit about having our meeting out of the hospital and was informed by my team that this is just exactly what I need!  Thank the Lord for co workers who care about me and who are Believers in Christ; they speak wisdom into my life when I need it most.  And I'm very excited to tell them that last night I slept for six hours straight with no meds!  That's quite a feat for me...do I hear applause?  I guess God's not done working on me...and thank goodness for it.
Have a blessed day today, and know that there is a blessing waiting for you.  I pray that God shows you all that is good and perfect in your life in the hours ahead and that you will see that the perfection we long for lies within us in the person of Jesus.

Oh Christmas Trees...

Despite what has felt like the busiest of months around here of late, the Lord has enabled us to stay ahead of things and to be able to prepare to enjoy Christmas.  Our house is decorated, our shopping is done, gifts are wrapped and waiting under the tree.  Five stockings hang on the mantle because this year Mac's girl Susan will be here to enjoy the celebration. 
The Mr. and I have been on this journey together for a while now, this will be our thirtieth Christmas together.  What a blessing.  As we've entered into these middle years, we've turned our attention toward valuing one another and the miracle of marriage.  It's the best gift we can think of for daboyz and some day, dagrands.  I remember our first Christmas tree, decorated with...pew bows.  Yup, you heard right!  We had gotten married exactly two months before Christmas 1986 on October 25.  We had a hand-me-down tree and about 3 for real ornaments to our name.  I pulled out the ivory and gold bows which had adorned the pews on our wedding day (do people still use pew bows?)  and stuck them on that sad scraggly old tree to plug the spaces between the branches.  At the time, it seemed like a stroke of genius!  Maybe it was more like a regular old stroke ;)  I thought that tree was beautiful.  I thought marriage was beautiful and planning a life that would take us all the way to heaven was beautiful.
I was right about all of it.
Today I look at a tree that is laden with ornaments and not a pew bow in sight.  Christopher Radkos, purchased every year on our anniversary.  Bronner's personalized ornaments...Dean, Sara, Jay, Mac, Donny and now Susan.  Little boy homemade ornaments and Baby's First Christmas too.  Red sparkly wooden blocks that spell LOVE. Nothing special, just a Target find,  and  yet, special nonetheless.  The sets of ornaments we used to fill the spaces don't fit amongst the sentimental ones anymore.  We've tucked those away for another set of newlyweds who some day may need to fill their Christmas tree's branches and may find themselves lacking pew bows.

Under appreciated~

1. Getting up before sunrise.
2. Praying out loud.
3. Rated G movies.
4. Teapots.
5. A good night's sleep.
6. Children's books.
7. Old Christmas carols.

8. Please and thank you, sir and ma'am.

9. Apologies.
10. Babies in mangers.

Haven Of Rest

"Do we make it hard for people to get to God?"
My sister and I were chatting recently and that's the question she posed.  It stuck with me and I've thought about it almost daily since.  Does our shock and even repulsion at the worlds condition lead to behavior that makes it difficult for those lost in the trappings of sin to approach us?  Have we a list of Christian dos and don'ts that set the bar so high that people give up before trying?  Yes and yes if you ask me.
As I've spent time in prayer and meditation with this idea, the Holy Spirit has revealed much to me about my own character.  The deep sighing and head shaking with which I so piously have pointed out the shortcomings (or my perception of them) of others sickens God.  The Lord gave us the Holy spirit when Jesus ascended as the still small voice that resides within our very hearts to gently and humbly guide us.  Do I think that I can do a better job than the Holy Spirit?  What makes me think it's my job to tell anyone else what I think of the state of their soul?   
Should we sincerely study the ministry of Jesus we would find him expressing love and mercy.  The only people he got confrontational with were the religious community.  Stop thinking yourself so lofty when your heart is empty and proud, that was the basic idea.  He made it easy, come to me all who are weary and heavy laden...I will give you rest (Matthew 11:28.)  Tired and burdened, not sinful!   He is a giver of peace and rest for those worn down by life.  Goodness!  That's all of us...those who wear the label of Christian or not!  The broken and unredeemed nature of the world breeds that heaviness of the soul.  Rest, rest, rest!  That's what Jesus offered. 
Do I offer the same?
Like the Good Samaritan, I need to climb into the gutters and clean the wounds of everyone in need.  We are very good at tithes and offerings, at serving holiday meals to the poor and donating our time and goods.  All so very important.  But what of the wounds and needs that reside on the inside.  Those that, perhaps, we cannot even know to be present?  What if our insensitivity is causing someone to quietly step an inch farther from Jesus?  God forbid, and God forgive us! 
I've repented and submitted my heart on this.  I will allow others to be weary and heavy laden and I will do what I can to give rest.  The rest of a smile, of a silent prayer, of a cup of coffee or a hug.  The rest of letting the Holy Spirit do the talking while I stay quietly in the background offering supplication to the one who is the Giver of healing and redeeming peace.

10

1. Rough week, rough two weeks, rough four weeks ahead.
2. When your boss tells you she's worried about how stressful your job is, then what?
3. Back on the 24 hours no sleep schedule, it ain't workin' out so great.
4. I'm sick of hearing myself whine.
5. I love peanut butter and jelly samiches.
6. I love fancy coffee with whipped cream.
7. I love Christmas decorations.
8. I love my dog who also had dogsominia this week which turned out to be the result of rib bones in the garbage that he desperately wanted to eat but knew he couldn't so he just whined and paced all night.
9. I love reading the Mitford books every evening is the only thing that's keeping me sane!
10. I love Hallmark card ordering online.