Tuesday, August 29, 2006

GUILTY


Revelation 12:9-11
9The great dragon was hurled down—that ancient serpent called the devil, or Satan, who leads the whole world astray. He was hurled to the earth, and his angels with him.10Then I heard a loud voice in heaven say: "Now have come the salvation and the power and the kingdom of our God, and the authority of his Christ; For the accuser of our brothers, who accuses them before our God day and night, has been hurled down. 11They overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony they did not love their lives so much as to shrink from death.


Sometimes I fee like I’m on trial. I am the accused and the prosecuting attorney. I am my own defense attorney as well and I’m doing a poor job of it. If I were an artist, I’d paint a court room with myself in all the seats.
In truth, it is satan who accuses me. In the space of twenty four hours, he does a fine job of it. He attacks me as a wife, mom, daughter, friend, nurse, boss and Christian. And that is just for starters. He customizes the charges too. Throw in ugly, fat, stupid, selfish, bad driver and lazy.
Then there’s bad hair, poor money manager, messy housekeeper, impatient and time-waster.
It’s no wonder I’m an insomniac. There just isn’t enough time in the waking hours to list all my crimes!
If you’re thinking I have poor self-esteem, that’s really not it. I don’t buy it. I think all of us are living the life of the accused. The reason I don’t want to play the self-esteem card is that the answer becomes thinking better of myself. That’s not the answer.
I have exactly three weapons against this daily onslaught of accusations.
1. The Blood of Christ.
2. The word of my testimony.
3. Not loving my life so much that I run from death.
Simple enough?
The accuser of us all is the devil and he’s really good at it. Even when I have done something well by all standards, he sneaks up behind me for a little private conversation where he points out, just between us, how I could’ve done better. It never ends with this guy.
The blood of Christ is the only thing that will ever cover my short-comings. That’s it. All other efforts minus the application of the perfect sacrifice still leaves me accused without a defense. I need to stop explaining and excusing just start laying it down at the cross.
The word of my testimony. MY testimony? That begs the question, what is my testimony? Here’s the comment corner kids! I love to hear testimonies. Our testimony is just our story with the common ending of when and how we gave it up for the blood of Christ. It’s not a testimony unless it winds its way there and ends with how that changed everything. It’s a reminder to myself and the world that the blood was applied and it worked. It’s the ultimate closing argument. The accused always walks away free after the summation.
Not loving my life. Hmm. That’s the hard one. I do love my life. I’m very attached to it. Why is that in there? Because if I’m loving my life I won’t do numbers one and two. Death can be literal, that’s for sure. Martyrs are real. I don’t want to be one. That’s the unspiritual truth of it. I know people who would lay down and die today for Christ. I hope I would if the time ever comes. I hope.
But death can be a matter of our own perspective too. Some stuff has to die under the flow of the blood of Christ and to walk out a testimony. The things on the executioner’s block are different for us all. To overcome the accusation, we have to be willing to let everything die and Christ only remain.
I don’t like being accused. I don’t like it when I’m innocent or when I’m guilty. I hate it. I hate the tossing and turning while I examine and reexamine all the stuff I could’ve done differently. I don’t like it when I’m talking to someone and feel the need to edit myself to present a face I am proud of even if it’s a mask. I don’t like feeling that I’m inadequate, and when I’m counting on myself I am always inadequate.
I don’t need more self-esteem. Self -esteem needs to be on death row too.
Without the Blood of Christ, a testimony of accepting Him and laying down my own life; I stand accused.
And I am guilty.
I’m so glad that a mighty good leader is on the way and He is going to throw my accuser down once and for all on my behalf.
Three simple steps.

6 comments:

tina fabulous said...

why do we so readily believe that we suck?
i constantly feel like i'm on trial... sometimes i deserve it, sometimes i dont, but youre right- the accusations are very customized!
but next time your friendship skillz are being attacked, you send that jerk over here because that is entirely inaccurate.

KayMac said...

I am so glad that you pointed out that self esteem is not the answer...the blood of Jesus Christ is the only answer.

Sara, you have a wonderful way of communicating the love and grace of our Lord. Great post.

Tonya said...

Sara, You are so true it is in our testimony... Satan is a tricky guy, we have discussed this many times. And I struggle daily sometimes hourly if I am stressed with Satan telling me, dont you think it would just be easier to go to the bar and drink with those old friends, why are you trying to do good. I hate battleing him everyday... It is truly hard, and it has nothing to do with our self esteem you are so so true. I love this post, thank you for drawing light to what the true matter is... SATAN IS A ROTTEN PERSON, THAT JUST CAN'T STAND TO LOSE... He is one of those kids that I would not mind if they picked up their toys and WENT HOME.... FOR GOOD!

Becky said...

and take your little demons too!
I think that bad guy tries really hard to trick everyone, even those in strong faith! the difference of his winning and our winning is...we have the word of God in our heart that can debunk anything!

Deb said...

Satan knows what buttons to push --that's for sure --and if we don't resist him --he is relentless. Resistance = he goes!

We have way more power than he does. I don't know why we give him so much 'rope' --but we do.

I, for one, look forward to that day when he's tossed out for good!

MSUgal86 said...

Yeah that whole self esteem thing can serve as a curtain that hides the truth.

I put my self on trial, sentenced myself and realized I was punishing myself. Now I feel guilt for wasting so much time.