Thursday, May 22, 2008

Aloner


I have ever other Friday and Monday off and the Mr. has practice every Thursday evening. I am more or less home alone during those times. Mmmmm. I love being home alone.
When I'm home alone I wear pajama pants and sweatshirts. I wash my face of all my make up, take out my contacts and pull my hair off my face with whatever holds it. I do lots of house work because I enjoy it instead of feeling like I'm the only one working if other people are at home with me. I rarely turn on the television unless an old movie I love is on. I often listen to worship music but not blasting so loud my ear drums bleed like some people I know (coughdeancough).
I turn down the beds and turn on soft bedside lights so when my family comes home they find a welcoming place to rest at the end of along day. I burn candles that smell green. I only open the windows if it's very warm out and I might turn on the furnace even if it's seventy degrees because I'm always cold but no one else is. I usually don't over eat if I'm home alone. I read in between loads of laundry. I write blogs and e-mails. I take pictures of Donny.
I might call my mom or my sister for a chat without loud men laughing in the background. I don't leave to do errands because home alone time is too rare to waste. I don't sleep in because leisurely mornings are the best part of home alone. I make homemade soup and jello mash. I sweep up dust bunnies and iron a week's worth of clothes for work. I use my foot spa and give myself a no-polish manicure. I try on clothes that I worry I've outgrown to prove to myself that I haven't or inspire myself to cut down. I make lists of staff that I need to send a card to or do something special for. I think quietly and come up with marvelous ideas that I am usually too busy to think through and then I write them down so I will look brilliant later.
I pray sometimes while making iced tea and sometimes on my knees while I cry. I think about how impossible it is that three out of my four grandparents are dead because they are so tangible to me that I sometimes forget they are everything to me except here now. I make big plans that I may or may not accomplish. I think about mistakes and decide whether they need fixing or forgetting and then I do one or the other.
I lay on my back on the carpet and do leg lifts and stretches and tighten my core and pull my tummy toward my spine. I think about how good it feels and decide to do Pilates every morning before work.
I take the time to search for the earrings or the shoes or the socks I haven't been able to find for a month.
I write events on my fridge calendar.
I love being home alone.

3 comments:

Deb said...

Wow--you certainly are able to accomplish quite a bit on your day off! ;)

Sounds grand--all that alone time!
Enjoy it Sara! And when your on your knees praying...pray for me --who tomorrow has to be at work at 5:30am so that I can limp alongside a lab assistant drawing blood all day. (So that I can "learn the lay of the hospital so when I'm alone at midnight and there's a trauma, and they call for uncrossmatched units of blood I'll know where the ER is. duh. Who doesn't know where the ER is?(?)

The pain in my knees and legs is causing me great grief --painful to the point of tears --and I'm NOT looking forward to tomorrow at all.

Okay --I'm done whining --Have a very blessed day my friend!

Deb said...

oops...should be "...when YOU'RE on your knees..." one of my pet peeves...those you're / your things!

Deb said...

And ending the sentence with the helping verb "is" isn't very good either....oh well....

good grammar. ya gotta love it!