Laid To Rest

Today we laid my grandma finally to rest, although that seems rather silly to say. I don't imagine her resting at all. I imagine her laughing with Jesus, and him laughing right back. Her new body doesn't need to rest.
More accurately, I was laid to rest today. On the way home from the luncheon daboyz and the Mr. said they felt like they needed a nap and I felt perfectly awake. When we got home and changed I sat on the deck for a while in the warm breeze and that is when the sleepiness settled in. I came inside and laid on the couch under the ceiling fan and dozed. It wasn't long before I crawled into my bed and fell into a sound sleep. I was a few hours there and when I awoke I hadn't changed position. The bed was made and wasn't even rumpled I had laid so still.
Yesterday morning before the first viewing, I felt that my demeanor was on shaky ground. It felt for a while there like the grief of the three grandparents who have already passed had returned and my sadness was multiplied by four. I was a little worried that I was going to be one of those people who every one hovers around worried about their imminent collapse. I cried and cried and cried and ended up with a cold cloth on my eyes to reduce the swelling so I could put on mascara. I think I cried myself out because I didn't do a Scarlett O'Hara swoon at the funeral home as I feared I might. I am not generally given to such displays and don't care to start now.
So with the flood gates having opened yesterday morning, I cried myself right out and into a state of calm which has yet to leave me. I had a return of tears during the service but they were soothing and grateful tears for my grandma's life and more importantly, her death that I know marks her birth in heaven.
Maybe that's why I was laid to rest this afternoon. I don't doubt I will have days of missing my grandma, more tears are sure to flow. But at the center of my spirit, I am quieted. There is no restlessness in me.
At the official end of life and sickness and the death of my grandma, all is well with me. In knowing that she is truly and literally with Christ, I find rest.

1 Kings 5:4 But now the LORD my God has given me rest on every side, and there is no adversary or disaster.