Thursday, January 26, 2006


Drain in the basement is backing up. I’m up a few pounds and always hungry. I tried to upload some new pictures on to my computer and my Kodak program has vanished. It’s overcast outside. My contacts feel dry. My dog has a rash on her belly. My roots need to be touched up. My bedroom looks like a war zone. My socks are wet from walking across the basement floor where the drain is backing up. We need groceries. Jay’s car is in the shop; not running for us/running perfectly for the mechanics. I have a pile of ironing to do. I can’t find one of my black boots. My left heel hurts. I want pasta. My old family photos have spontaneously exploded from the box they were in and are strewn across my bedroom, told you it was a war zone. I need to finish my continuing education tests for my nursing license. I need to read the publication application/guide I got in the mail last week. I need to make a guest list for Jay’s graduation party. My skin is dry. I need a manicure. I want a latte from Starbuck’s. I need to go to the bank. What are we eating for dinner? Has anyone commented on my blog lately? I look like a transvestite today. I wonder if I got any e mails. I wonder what everyone else’s blog says. I wonder if the author of A Million Little Pieces is really a fake. I wonder if there’s any breaking news on CNN. I wonder if I have any e mails now. I have no clean underwear. I need to vacuum. Why doesn’t anyone else notice that the floor needs to be vacuumed? I should cut back on my caffeine. I don’t like de-caf coffee. I think I’ll make a pot of de-caf coffee. Do I need a pot of coffee? I should drink water. I’m cold. Water makes me colder. I don’t want to spend all day peeing. If I drink anything I’ll pee. I wonder if decaf herbal tea is making me retain water or am I for real up two pounds? My toes are cold. Maybe I’ll take my slippers to lifegroup tonight. Will I look stupid if I take my slippers to lifegroup? I might forget my slippers at lifegroup then I won’t have them here. I think that kid on American Idol last night had Down’s. That’s terrible to let him get on there and look silly. Or maybe it’s not; maybe he really enjoyed himself. I wonder if he enjoyed himself? I think Paula Abdul is wearing hair extensions. Why do classic movie stations show so many westerns instead of good classic movies?
Today my only purpose was studying. I’m doing two different types of study right now; one for our Old School lifegroup and one personal. It is my first of two days off and we have lifegroup tonight. I have read the material a few times and I need to polish up what I want to teach. I also need to stay on top of my personal study because I lose steam on that stuff easily. I need to study. That’s all I really have to do today. Should be a good day. Except for paragraph number one. Everything in paragraph number one seems very pressing. I seem to have spiritual ADD (attention deficit disorder). I keep telling myself to focus but there are so many interesting things to think about and worry about and ultimately, to do nothing about. Why am I like this? I am truly interested in the Bible and I love to read so what is my deal?
Distraction is a killer. A literal life-taker. Look at the car accidents caused by people on cell phones, changing radio stations, arguing. Look at warning signs of illness ignored by people who were distracted by more important issues that were really not important. Clearly, it doesn’t take much to distract me. Sometimes I’m distracted by song lyrics that exist no where but in my head. Anybody else singing “Ain’t Too Proud To Beg” right now? I am, in my head. Not out loud of course, that would be crazy.
I wonder what I could accomplish with focus. Let me clarify, with the right focus. I’m not drawn away from time with God by temptations of heroin or crime sprees. But it doesn’t matter because I’m drawn away just the same. So many things flitting across my psyche that eat up minutes, hours, days...
I need to focus. Spiritual ADD. It’s keeping me sidelined. Time to discipline this wanderer and tune in.

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