Sunday, January 15, 2006

I Knew It Not

OK,I'm commenting on my own blog. "Surely the presence of the Lord is in this place and I knew it not"; see post below "Blog Church" if you don't know what I'm talking about.
I stayed home from church today, not feeling well. Dove in to some studying time with some scripture God's been tugging at me about unrelated to lifegroups or blogs, just Sara issues. My sweet friend Arlene forwarded me a devotional that didn't seem to be related to the scripture in question but when I started tracking through and following the scripture to where God was leading, it all folded together.
Sat down to do some journaling because that's how I take the word jumble that is my brain and make sense. And there He was. Surely, the presence of the Lord was in this place and I knew it not. I got some information, some rebuking and some redirection I didn't see coming. I got some clarity on some issues I thought I was clear on. I wrestled with God about all of it, just like Jacob did before he reached the same conclusion, surely the presence of God is in this place.
I felt good about doing some studying, felt bad about what it revealed about me, then felt hopeful at what God can do now that I'm under His hands and letting the potter do some reshaping of this vessel.
I'm a little worn out now. A little discouraged with myself, a lot encouraged about what Christ is willing to do to fix my broken hinges. I'm glad for the wrestling match and that He didn't let me win. You won't see the wrestling match on this blog, at least not for a while. That was part of the deal, like I said, Sara issues.
I thought I missed church this morning. But surely, the presence of the Lord was in this place; and I knew it not.

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