Thursday, January 25, 2007
To your right you'll see a link to my mom's blog where she recently wrote about lying. She even included a little impromptu poll for those willing to voice their position about lying.
This got me thinking about how much being lied to bothers me. Plus I have superpowers that allow me to immediately know when I'm being lied to. It's true. I include under the heading of lying, manipulation, omission, exaggeration or double-talk ("not that I'm aware of"; "I don't recall.."; "I didn't know...")
The truth about me is that I'd rather be told you don't like me than lied to. I'm also quicker to forgive mistakes than to forgive lying about mistakes. I'm not sure that's altogether scriptural but if not; it should be.
I try really hard to be a person who doesn't make others feel that it's easier to lie to me that to be honest. Have you ever thought about what makes us lie?
Fear. If I'm fast to forgive, show mercy, extend grace and love; there's no reason to fear telling me the truth. If I'm judgemental, condemning or smug when someone reveals something ugly to me it's tempting to lie to avoid the unpleasantness.
Pride. If I am willing to share my own down-falls, sins, weaknesses and blatant stupidity it's more likely that the other guy will feel able to share too. No need to hide our propensity for foolishness if the other person admits their own.
Trust. Can I be trusted with your secrets? I think so. I hope so. I know so. You don't have to be concerned if you tell me about the skeletons in your closet that I'll post it on here. You don't have to lie about your past because you think I might repeat your confidences.
Respect. Do you feel some things just aren't my business? I'm ok with that. As a matter of fact, I agree with you. Don't lie about the personal stuff, just be honest and tell me you don't want to talk about it. I respect your right to share everything including your de-braing habits like I do. I also respect your right to privacy.
I hate being lied to. I hate communication minus sincerity. I hate false-fronts and playing stupid and omitting details. I think liars are cowards. I say this because when I lie I feel like a coward.
I don't like myself when I lie. And I can't be close to someone else who isn't truthful. I can like you, but we won't be best friends as long as there is a wall between us built on lies. In the business we call that projection, when I see aspects of myself that I dislike in you, I project my intolerance on to you. It will get in between us, lying will.
Do I ever lie? Yup. Hate it. Try not to.
And I hate being lied to.
Jesus creates a place between us where it's safe for me to be honest with him. He takes in the good and the bad and covers it all with love.
I want to be someone who it's safe to be honest with.
Surely you desire truth in the inner parts ; you teach me wisdom in the inmost place.