Hot Brown Water

For three years I started every morning with a cup of hot brown water.
Sometimes I got the hot brown water and sometimes Becky got us each a cup.
I've been thinking all week about abundant life. I would suspect this arises from the current changes in my own life but these thoughts haven't been rooted in the visible and material. It's been more about the abundance that overflows from inside of me and an awareness that I wasn't always aware of it. Over time, we all meet people who God uses to show us where the abundance is. To teach us to look and listen and feel for it. Because abundance is always there. I learned a lot about abundance drinking hot brown water with Becky.
I was a special education teacher's aide for six years. The first three were spent as a substitute working in all the classrooms in the city providing special ed. I worked with everyone from toddlers with medical conditions in a preschool to a 23 year old who had sustained a closed head injury at sixteen and was working through a modified high school program. For the third year I was assigned as a one to one assistant to an autistic child. The expectation was that when that position was posted as full time in the next school year's job bid, I would take the position full time. Summer break wound to a close and the union sent out a flyer for the upcoming bid. Only there was a glitch in my plans. Alongside of "my" position was another one. McDowell Elementary School, Emotionally Impaired 4,5,6 graders. I'd spent a few days in that classroom as a substitute. I really liked it. All the way until I wrote out my bid, I was not sure which job to choose. I chose McDowell. And hot brown water. And a teacher named Becky.
Becky and I were a great team. Seriously, we were awesome. We made huge strides with the kids in our class. And I rocked at that job. When Becky was off, the substitute teacher would function as the aide and I would teach. I loved every day there. And I loved Becky. We were best friends for those three years. And Becky taught me abundance.
Becky fully embraced all that gave her joy without concern about her age, dignity or station in life. She still loved children's books, so she bought them and read them with the joy of a first-grader just discovering literature. From her, I learned to read children's books if it made me happy despite being an adult. She liked only gentle movies and humor and books. Nothing sad or upsetting. From her, I learned to be aware that I could feed my soul the diet it needed purposefully. She was confident enough in herself to be my "boss" and the teacher of a classroom of difficult little boys without ever seeming bossy or authoritarian. From her I learned that confrontation is a fluid thing, best to be hesitant, be sure and then act. She was not afraid to confront but to confront wrongly.
Becky laughed at herself and at me and everything that caused a giggle to rise up within her. Becky put on sandals on the first really warm day of the year and realized that her toenails needed painting so she painted them after putting on her shoes and then walked like a duck for the first hour of the day waiting for them to dry. Her pinky toes did not get painted because they did not show in her sandals.
Becky was teeny tiny. She was roughly 5'1" and I'd guess less than 120 pounds. I was 5'5" and 260 or so pounds. Becky also regularly came to work in the winter time in a heavy sweater and no coat. At recess time she wore my giant coat outside and somehow I didn't feel embarrassed at how it hung on her. There was so much sweetness in her that I just laughed at her while she laughed at herself and turned no attention back at myself.
Becky loved Walt Disney and stuffed animals and pet rats. From her I learned that rats are very cool and I'd put ours on my shoulder to go get our mail from the office just to watch the secretary, Rusty, flip out.
Becky had an amazing work ethic and when she was sick, she'd have her husband wake her up two hours early so she could take medication and a long shower and drink some tea so she'd be ready to come to work on time. I would wake up slightly happy that I had a sore throat so I could call off. From her I learned the joy of hard work.
Becky knew herself and was true to herself. She painted her living room whatever color made her smile even if no one else smiled when they walked in. She considered long and hard what was right and wrong. She sought her mom, her husband, God, me or anybody else she believed in when she was unsure. Then she stood on the ground she believed in without a second thought to the consequences. From her I learned that good breeds good.
Becky cried as easily as she laughed and on 9-11 we stood together crying and holding hands. And when I told her I had to leave and go get my kids and hold them she told me to go, and spent that awful day alone trying to comfort six special ed. kids.
And in year three of our time together, Becky told me I was made for more than being someone's assistant. And when I mentioned going back to school she smiled and cried at the same time and hugged me hard. And when I started Weight Watchers she insisted she could see every half pound I lost and ate whole grain bagels for breakfast with me.
I've seen Becky twice in the six years since we worked together. In that time I've changed in abundant ways and think of her often when I read a children's book to no one but myself or watch Nanny McPhee because it's gentle to my soul.
And I am thankful. To her, of course. But most of all to God who brought her into my life at a time when I needed to be brave while terrorists attacked and I was obese and I needed to go to college. God knew that I'd have to insist on joy to ease the pain and courage to do right and confidence to move forward. And laughter to hold it all together.
This morning I e mailed McDowell Elementary to let Becky know that she is someone that God used to teach me to look for abundance.
About that hot brown water, our cooks at the school would brew coffee for us every morning. Becky and I love coffee. But bless their hearts, being frugal women, they used very little actual coffee in the coffee. The result? Hot brown water.
Who would have thought that God could started three years worth of mornings with hot brown water to flood my life with abundance?
Only He. And Becky.

1 Peter 1:2 Grace and peace be yours in abundance through the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord.