The Eternal Lump of Clay That Is Me

I know people who it seems have been settled into their lives for twenty years. And I'm still not quite there. Not quite? Who am I kidding, I don't even have an estimated time of arrival. I thought by now I'd be more "there"; where ever there is. I'd have my career running smoothly and be living in THE house and be ever so wise and serene. Oh, and beautiful. It doesn't seem like that is such a difficult thing because most of the people I know seem to have accomplished all of this while I'm still faking being a grown up. I don't know what the heck I'm doing.
I seem to always have been at loose ends. Planning without accomplishing. Thinking that by some age in the future I'd have my act together but those ages keep coming and going and my act seems to be less together than ever. I should be humming along in a job I have mastered at this point, piling up retirement funds. No. Not me. I'm starting on yet another new position and learning again how to do my work. I'm returning to school again and trying to paint a new picture in my mind of what the goal is. And the thing is, I am not discontent. I would be perfectly satisfied settling in at any point along the way. Do you hear me God? Not asking for any new challenges! Status quo would be a lovely way to live from here on in. But I keep getting pushed through doors. This is probably because someone just opening the door doesn't inspire me, I have to be shoved through. This usually results in a Lucille Ball entrance into the next phase of my life; stumbling and landing on my hands and knees looking around bewildered.
I keep waiting to grow up, by that I mean to get "there." To arrive. To be able to set myself on cruise control. That doesn't seem to be the plan for me. Until very recently I thought my constant life flux was because I keep messing up. Missing the exit and having to take the long way around. Changing course because I am always going in the wrong direction. Certainly this is often the case.
Now I am trying to just take it as a whole. Life may never settle in for me. Or it may do so when I'm about 85 and still going to school. This is definitely not the way I saw myself when I was eighteen and planning my future. I saw myself as a home maker, maybe someday a school teacher. Someone who would fade quietly into the background of life. Perhaps not giving much but hopefully not taking too much either. God just won't leave it there. He keeps pulling the rug out from under me. If you're waiting for the final paragraph where all the lessons are learned, it hasn't been written yet. I don't get it. I don't know why I can't just settle in on cruise control. All I have learned has only revealed how much I don't know.
The question on my mind has changed from what do I want to be to this...God, what can you make of me?

Romans 9:20-21 But who are you, O man, to talk back to God? "Shall what is formed say to him who formed it, 'Why did you make me like this?' "Does not the potter have the right to make out of the same lump of clay some pottery for noble purposes and some for common use?