Tuesday, May 23, 2006
I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.
How many of today's choices, actions and words truly reflect the Christ that I claim lives in me? I don't have a whole lot to say today, except that I need to reflect on the gospel to find the me that reflects the image of Christ. In the process, I also find parts of myself to crucify to make room for more of Him.
I have a deeper desire than ever before to die to myself. Yet it seems that the more of me I put the knife to, the more is revealed yet to be sacrificed. I lay this down only to find something bigger hiding behind it. I give that up only as a bargain to hold on to this. I'm not dead yet, but I'm working on it. Dead so that I can be alive.
Recently, the Mr. and I were talking about gas prices (they are a little high, you probably hadn't noticed). We're not political creatures, we two. So the conversation quickly ran to the philosophical and the spiritual.
Here's what we came up with, we get aggravated with high gas prices, or high costs attached to any necessity of life. But we have very little problem with the high cost of luxury items. We were having the great gas debate driving home after dinner at Ruby Tuesdays ($22/2 salad bars and an appetizer plus tip) and then driving through Tim Horton's ($5). In my Ford Expedition (not exactly fuel efficient).
So we don't really mind spending money, we just want to spend it on fun stuff, so we want the necessary stuff to be cheaper to make for more fun spending.
I was thrilled at this new insight into my own head. I had just found another part of myself to crucify. I'm so sure now of Christ's love for me that I'm starting to really love it when he reveals another part of the Sara that still tries to dominate me.
When he lives bigger in me, I find new wisdom. I see myself clearly and the world looks less scary. In life, there is much I cannot change; gas prices for instance. But by letting my own understanding fall away to His insight I feel empowered to rise above. What I cannot change in the world cannot defeat the crucified me.
When I stop to examine myself, I stop feeling like a victim of circumstances. I don't get angry at the world. I adjust myself to Christ and keep on going toward a higher calling.
Makes life easier. I think the truth of it is, if it isn't Christ who is living in me, I'm not really living at all.
I like His perspective so much better.
Thank you Jesus, for moving into this ramshackle heart to build your kingdom.
Live in me. Let me be crucified.