Monday, December 11, 2006

A Long Winter's Nap


The electric blanket is on as I snuggle down into my black wrought iron canopy bed. Beside me lies the love of my life, the Mr. The temperatures plummit as is the way of winter Michigan nights. Bright starlight shines outside as the house quiets and settles creaking on time-worn foundations.
I become aware of something then. It is familiar enough to not alarm, and yet powerful enough to disturb the slumber I seek. It parts my hair and makes me squint as I open my eyes in frustration. What is this force that interrupts the chill night air and steals away the promise of sweet, warm sleep?
Is it the famed Nor' Easter?
A blizzard? The Winter Warlock of Christmas tales come to vent his wrath on mankind?
No, it's the Mr. with this freak high-powered exhale he does when he sleeps. Sometimes accompanied by skull-vibrating snoring but oftentimes just a weird pursed lip sort of rotten night-breath blast either into my face or the back of my head.
There is no way any person could exhale this hard and not be doing it intentionally.
It makes me want to sock him in the eye.

9 comments:

Elizabeth said...

wait, i thought you were in MY bed! lol he is gonna kill you! too funny

MSUgal86 said...

ah, leave the poor guy alone. you can't blame him for something beyond his control. perhaps he gave you two diamonds rings for a purpose--the breath blasts to the face and the ones to the back of the head.

Margie said...

that was hilarious!

tina fabulous said...

ha!

KayMac said...

omg, I just snorted so loud in front of all my co-workers. I didn't even TRY to explain.

I think that is caused from putting those cookies behind his ear.

Deb said...

You crack me up!

I'm glad my husband doesn't do anything that annoying or I'd have to insist he sleep in the guest bed.

Becky said...

my hubbin-you'd think he was choking on a chicken bone or something.

Kell said...

The Hubs snores horribly loud. That's the reason why I end up on the couch most nights.

Mrs. Mac said...

Oooh ... we must exchange pics of our beds ... mine is cream hand crafted wrought iron with a canopy. I opted for leaving the top open ... but having side curtains. Poor hubby! Your such a meanie for posting about what is not in his control. Try breath-right or that throat spray ... or surgery (yikes).