Monday, March 12, 2007

Is Hooter's Hiring?

I worked all weekend so I have no new and inspiring posts for you. More alarming, this leaves me with daily thoughts that I feel the need to share as opposed to carefully written and edited ideas. Unedited, you'll be experiencing things like the following story.
I've gained so much weight that I'm utterly disgusted with myself. I had been trying to quietly get back into control and telling myself it wasn't all that bad. Surely I could turn it around. Well, after dinner at Chilli's I went to the bathroom and apparently it's worse than I realized.
I misjudged how much bustier my bust is and smacked my breasticles right into the divider on the booth as I rounded the corner on the way to the restroom.
Breasts so large you can't round a corner without self injury?
Here's your sign.

And here's your verse. I'm not sure what it means exactly but I think it means that Jesus likes me fat.

Isaiah 10:27
In that day their burden will be lifted from your shoulders, their yoke from your neck; the yoke will be broken because you have grown so fat.

9 comments:

tina fabulous said...

i once had a horrible run-in with my desk.

Margie said...

I'm on a conference call and I almost busted out laughing... I was shaking uncontrollably... that was funny.

get those babies under control sister. No donuts at life group...

Arlene said...

You are way too funny!

Pat said...

Just sling those sisters over your shoulder and count those points!

Amber Land said...

You have a way with words. I laughed so hard I almost cried!

Jada's Gigi said...

I've always had this problem with my breasticles...Bertha and Beulah as they are known around my house..can cause serious injury..to others as well as myself...lol

Sara said...

bertha and beulah! ha! i say we all name our respective sisters. i'm gonna pray on this.

tina fabulous said...

i'll never be able to sing "beulah land" again with quite the same fervor.

Sara said...

i think i'll give mine the collective name "Niagra Falls"