Monday, August 27, 2007


So I go to Kohl's as they are promising big savings today. I figure, there is one bra in the world that I can wear, pictured here. Might as well grab one or ten at rock bottom prices. You see my friends, only the Bali Flower can stand up to the sisters. Or make the sisters stand up.
The Flower is not pretty despite its delicate name. It is made of space-age polymers and galvanized plumbing taken from fire-bombed homes on the Southside of Chicago. It does not cross over, lift or separate. It does not allow the skin to breathe and isn't entirely amused with the lungs attempt to. It is available in any color you want as long as that color is white, beige or black. This is a break-through for the Flower as until recently it was only available in white or white.
So off to Kohl's I went and...horrors! No longer do they have my Flower! They have something new in it's place with the promising name of Visualift. And this cocky little number is available in white, beige, black OR lavendary beige. I have my doubts but I go for it. Just one for a trial run. I'm a little worried because although I own the Flower in all three colors, after several hundred washings they have all become the same color; drab. I need a new bra.
Well, you can guess what happened. The Visualift was a Visuaflop. Literally. Lavendary beige color notwithstanding. The sisters laughed hysterically as they headed south, west and east all at the same time.
Back to Kohl's goes this weaker stepsister. I went online and to my relief found that the Flower is still available for purchase via internet. I ordered one and will order a few more if all goes well. I pray to God that all goes well.
In the meantime I am currently enjoying a new discovery, the Bali Downtime. Yes friends, a bra with the word "down" in its name. Its name is accurate. I guess it's for leisure wear or something. It's cottony soft with absolutely no wires and only slightly more support than two tube socks and a long shoe string. It feels lovely. Oh, it's not for public wear. But having daboyz around with any number of dagirlz at their sides I must remain somewhat supported in the afterhours and the Flower must be removed as soon as possible to prevent permanent injury.
A final note of advice for those thinking they too would enjoy the Downtime bra. You will not regret its purchase and I myself will buy a few more when I return the disappointing Visualift to Kohls. However IF you would not go braless in public, you must not use the Downtime as your new favorite all day long bra. Likewise, you must not wear an athletic bra to work. If your bra is comfortable, it is not doing its job.
I'm exhausted.


Trish said...

Why is it, when you have a favorite style or brand of some-
thing, they have to go and change
them or get rid of them altogether?

Leaves you standing there, saying
!#*!#*! NOW WHAT?

Margie said...

I agree, I'm so thankful I can still use pretty bras!

KayMac said...

u r 2 funnee

Pat said...

That's why they invented breast reduction/augmentation~which ever suits you...maybe both.

Mrs. Mac said...

My girls aren't too big so my tube sock/shoe string contraption is just fine thank you ;) I did feel a bit self conscious as I ran from the grocery check out line to grab a quart of buttermilk today :)

Jada's Gigi said...

ROFLOL!!! you gotta try does exactly what the name implies and my girls..Bertha and Beulah, remember them?? they are quite happy being formed into a maidenly shape and don't seem to mind staying there for hours...very comfortable and shapely too! hey that could be the new company slogan!

mrs mac is too funny!