Now that both boys are out of school our rules are more like negotiations. There are things they believe, think and do that I count as errors. There are things I believe, think and want that they don't embrace. However, Jesus bridges those gaps because the relationship amongst the four of us is one of love and respect if not always agreement. They make mistakes that my rules would've prevented and like any parent, this makes me nuts. They also say and do amazing things that I'd like to take all the credit for, but they are now their own persons. Their successes are their own just like their mistakes.
What I have learned in the last almost 20 years is that I have very little to offer these children/men. They have to negotiate life through a relationship with the Lord and not with me. They can obey every Christian rule I can think of and ultimately spend eternity in hell if their heart is not surrendered to Christ himself.
They can also obey every Dean & Sara rule and hate us in their hearts.
Neither of those options is acceptable to me. And so I have done my best and made mistakes covered in prayer. It is a little scary, this new part of life where little boys are grown men and can destroy every dream you've dreamed for them. So far, so good.
Two in college, one with a career already started. Two parents with no more rules to use as a safety net.
Four adults and one Jesus living under the same roof
Proverbs 22: 6 Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.