Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Awake, awake, awake, awake, awake,...

I spent hours, and I do mean hours, last night asking the Lord, "What is up with this?" By this I mean my insomnia. I am heading to work this morning on literally zero sleep. I've been up 24 hours, never fell asleep last night. I thought I was losing it when I heard the birds singing and hadn't yet gone to sleep!
I've never been a "good" sleeper and perimenopause is sure to be contributing but no sleep at all? That just ain't acceptable! I know a doctor would prescribe sleep meds but I'm just not feeling that is the answer yet. Melatonin gave me horrific nightmares, I'd rather be awake. All I can say is that I feel pretty good all things considered; at the moment at least. I see an extra cup or two of coffee in my morning but I can't count on it to get me through the day or I'll have a repeat tonight.
I have to say that I had a peaceful night, strangely enough. I had the bedrooms windows open and the cool breezes were lovely. I listened to my sounds of rain CD, which is an hour long, 3 times before I gave up on it. But I laid in bed feeling very at ease and relaxed and just certain I was about to drift off any moment.
I'm hoping that the Lord and I did some work on my insomnia problem during the long night. I have figured out that a major source of sleeplessness is thinking about work, once those thoughts kick in I can feel the anxiety creeping up my body and grabbing my mind. So I prayed and spent hours snatching those thoughts as they came to mind and casting them away in Jesus name. I also sleep very lightly and have hyper sensitive hearing so as the distant sounds of the neighborhood disturbed me, I asked God to give me greater tolerance and lower my frustration level. I usually need utter darkness to even consider resting and again, I faced that dragon by leaving my blinds up a little to allow the cool breezes through.
So as I rolled out of bed this morning, I sort of thought of myself as having spent the night wrestling with an angel, like Jacob! Maybe my all night battle will have gained a victory for future nights. I'm going to iron my scrubs for tomorrow this morning before I leave and have made up my mind that tonight will be a quiet early evening for me and I presume I'll be ready for bed when the sun goes down.
In any case, the Mr. got about six hours of prayer last night since he was laying there snoozing away. I put a hand on him and blessed him up on side and down the other!
Pray for me and all of my fellow insomniacs if you think of us, it really is the pits.


a8383 said...

Hi Sarah, I have battled insomnia for 15 years- I feel for you. I, too, am a light sleeper and we have a "neighbor" who leaves their dog out 24/7. A sound machine which plays all night is a help. Hope you don't crash this afternoon- that is what usually happens to me! Angela

Trish said...

Sara...come out, come out, wherever you are? I miss you! Praying that you are resting sweet girl.

Bonnie said...

"I put a hand on him and blessed him up one side and down the other."........so sweet!

I'm a fellow insomniac all my adult life. Such torture. My husband snores away next to me as I lie awake, too. I love your blog.....I've been reading for a few months now. So life-affirming and precious to speak of our heavenly father. Keep up the good work. :)