I don't really know, frankly. What I do know is the following. I love my yard and could spend hours and thousands on it. I am not a physically strong person, I'm just not. Dean is not a yard guy.
So I talked to the Lord about it all. Why do I have ideas and wishes that mean so much to my very heart? And the Lord said, "Go do it yourself."
Remember that part about not being physically strong? I imagine God knows that too. I can be frustrated year after year or I can work on myself, which is basically the only person I can do anything about anyway.
So I'm making a list of the things I can do and how to make it more likely that I will.
- Do yard work in the early morning or evening when it's cool.
- Think long and hard about projects to be sure I'll be happy in the long run.
- Choose perennials and sustainable plants.
- Work around what I have and learn to let go of the larger construction type projects.
- Don't try to convince the Mr. to join me or seek his approval. It's just not his thing.
With these few guidelines in mind, I've made a to-do list for myself.
Plant a perennial herb garden on the south side of the garage. There are old patio blocks there that are crumbly and a never ending frustration to me with the vegetation that grows in between. So I've had a EUREKA! moment :) I'm going to pull out the very crumbly ones and plant herbs in the dirt there, leaving the intact ones. It'll be kind of informal, cottagey. I think it'll be sweet. And it is the spot across from my berry patch which, a good idea for which has eluded me lo these many (5) years. I'm excited! That's an inexpensive and physically easy project with big pay-off that I can enjoy every year. Yay. I also planted two peonies at the far end of the area last year that came back, so I'm going to plant a few more to create a peonie patch bookend to the herb and berry garden. In my head, it's utterly charming! Which brings me to my next little project, the patio along the side of the garage. Half of it is uncovered and that's my herb garden plot. Half has an awning over it and it faces the prettiest section and biggest tree in the yard. I've cleaned up those old patio blocks and weeded it and every year, I make myself a little shaded hide away there. This year I am going to purchase inexpensive outdoor curtains to hang around the sides so that I can truly make a little room to myself out of it. I'm going to treat myself to a chaise lounge or a few Adirondack chairs. I am already imagining reading and catnaps and best of all, I can make it happen myself. My. Own. Self.
I've asked for the area next to our back porch to be turned into a vegetable garden and I'm getting no help with that. Year after year, it's not happening and I'm mad. So I'm (trying to) letting that go. That bare little expanse of grass that is an eyesore is getting a make over anyway. I'm going to get a little ornamental tree and plant it right in the center of that spot and call it a day. If I'm of a mind, I can plant veggies in a few containers.
I've wanted a pond forever. I've been promised one for even longer. In fact, I've been promised one with a waterfall and possibly rapids suitable for rafting. Hey, if it's never gonna happen, why not dream big? LOL. I'm going to buy a container and make a self contained pond on my patio. I actually did this a few yeas ago and I loved it. I filled that pot with dirt because we were going to build Smith Creek in the yard but that's ok. I can get another container.
Well, you get the idea. The actual work of it, despite my delicate disposition, will be good for me. I'll have to be purposeful and take my time but I can do it. The herb garden and patio reading room will be my first project, shouldn't take more than a few hours since the "bones" are there and I'll have the space to enjoy all summer long.
Will I never be frustrated again? Well, I probably will be, and possibly this week. But I am going to work on making the yard a place to strengthen my body and soothe my mind and not to let the enemy (who is a jerk) steal that potential joy year after year. With the Lord's help, I might just let the Mr. off the hook. That is a goal worth pursuing.