Monday, November 04, 2013

A wish for myself; more energy

Before I bare my soul; I'm going to ask you to withhold any comments you may be tempted to provide with advice about exercise, diet, vitamin regimes, etc.  I know the benefits, I also know myself and what is true for me.  Deal? 
So in the spirit of self-indulgence, I have a wish for me.  I wish I was a more energetic person.  I have never been a person with physical stamina, not even as a child.  I have forever awakened in the morning with stiff and sore muscles.  I've always become achy after yard work or a day at the beach or any other exertion.  Even in high school, I'd be worn out after work.  To this day, I'm all in, as my grampa used to say, after eight hours. 
I'm an early to bed, early to rise kind of girl.
When I'm out late, I start to feel actually ill.  I get headachy, sore throaty and sore.  My feet hurt most days.  In case you are doing an inventory of possible medical issues; I do have chronic Epstein Barre but my body has always been this way.  And I'm not really complaining.  I'm not a southern belle fainting upon my chaise and in need of smelling salts and some standing over me to fan me with a giant palm leaf. 
I'm just not physically strong. The real problem is, other people are more bothered by this than I am.  Had I been born in a different generation, I don't think there would be a problem at all.  I, however, was born in a time when women work full time and then are expected to participate in small groups (if you are involved in many churches,) work out, go out for coffee, on and on and on.  Back in the olden days of the 1990s, I was a homemaker.  In those days, I did meet up with girlfriends for a cup of coffee mid morning or window shopping with my mom.  We even, occasionally, went out for dinner with other couples!  But now?  I work and I keep my house and then, I'm all in.  I'm really ok with being all in, but it makes me all out; socially at least.  Again, I'm fine with that too!  Being an introvert works well in these cases.
Still, I wish, for myself, that I was a high energy person.  I wish I could do all of my housework and laundry on Saturday and still feel like going to dinner and a movie in the evening.  I wish I could come home from work at 6:00 and have the strength to do laundry so everything wasn't waiting for my attention on the weekend.  I wish my muscles weren't achy and my joints weren't stiff.  I wish I wish I wish...
I wish that more people would say it's okay, to be what I am.  On cranky days, I'd like to point out that while I am not a fireball of energy my house is neat and my laundry done and I work hard for my employer.  And that should be good enough. 
And on non cranky days, like today, I have learned to be okay with what I am and that's good enough.  I'm thankful for the friends in my life who may not understand but still accept a largely online/texting relationship because I'm too pooped and introverted for much else. 
Since I've requested the advice commenters to hold off for today, I'm going to make another request.  Only if you're comfortable.  Is there anything about yourself that isn't quite up to the standard of others that you wish were different or, that you've learned to accept? 
Now, I'm going to relax with a book and refuel.  'Cause that's just how I am.

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