Sunday, September 09, 2007

No Plans

I think we plan ourselves into paralysis.
When daboyz were little and I was a stay-at-home mom, I learned a few things. I had no money, often no car and no plans. It was daily survival and making the best of it all. Sounds rather desperate and sad but it wasn't. Oh sure, it was frustrating and hard. But because of my limited resources I was kind of boiled down to basics. I just got up in the morning and made the best of that particular day. Sometimes it was a walk to my mom's house with daboyz in a wagon pulled behind me. No car to go any further. Didn't want to stay inside my little house for another day. So off we went. At the time it seemed like that was how we spent our time because there was nothing else available. Of course, had I had a nursing license I would've had a job. And daboyz would've been with a sitter or daycare. Had we had more money I'd have had a nice car to tool around town. Had we been able to buy a nicer house it would've been further from my parents and I couldn't have walked there. As it happened, I plopped down in a 2 bedroom bungalow three blocks from where I once lived with no money and no plans. So we walked and spent many hours with my mom and dad. And often my mom and I would load daboyz up and we'd drive the 5 minutes to my gramma and grampa's house where daboyz would pull the same toys out of the garage I had played with on the farm. In the fall my grampa would organize an apple orchard excursion and off we'd go together to pick apples and then home to make pies together. No plans, just life.
With a job that claims 40 hours a week now, those old days of no money and no plans seem rather a luxury I'm grateful to have had. My grampa is gone to heaven and the truth is my gramma is 85 and there are no more apple-picking days with little boys in her plans. What we have is pictures of soft-haired toddlers running down the long driveway at the home of their great grandparents and my grampa smiling with sun-tanned arms and joy in his eyes. We have hearts that sing when autumn rolls in because we are full with the memories of lifting little ones high into apple trees.
Now I see that God is not held in time like I am. I look from here forward and fret over which plans are best and how to accomplish them. My heavenly Father stands at the end of my earthly days and unfolds the plan in reverse. He knew that no car and no money and no plans would give daboyz days on end with nothing to do but be loved and carefree surrounded by grown-ups with no plans but to be with them. And so the Lord gave me nothing so that I could have everything and give it to my boys. Out of my empty hands God's fullness flowed. Out of his plans to give me no plans.
Now we are in a new part of life. Daboyz are in college and oh, the planning! What to do? How to do it? What if we misstep?
And my gramma! How to help her? How to take care of her? What will we do?
It cloaks me in peace to remember the perfection of my days of no plans because there, I was held in higher plans. So today I look at the worries of my own plans and let it go a little easier. God is indeed big enough to handle my missteps and make something glorious of it. He's been doing just that for 40 years. I will take today and tomorrow and live with the knowledge that God still stands at the end of my breaths making plans beyond my sight.
I have a job, money and a car. And no plans.
And it's gonna be just fine.

Ephesians 1:11
In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will...


Deb said...

Isn't this post published yet?!

Once again --this has touched a deep place in my heart. ...God is not held in time, as we are...I pray that daily I remember that the time we spend in this life is not even measurable --compared to eternity. Therefore, why fret over the big stuff --or the small stuff for that matter. God has it all under control.

How blessed you are Sara --not only to have had the privilege of family and no money and no plans --but to recognize that it was God's very best for you!!

Pat said...

I'd give anything to have no plans once again.

Jada's Gigi said...

awesome post! I have similiar memories...except I did often have a car since hubby worked close t home and i could drive him and keep the car..pick up my sis and we'd tool around together with the 3-5 kids (depending on who'd been born yet :)) we'd spend a whole day paying bills personally to save on and of course to have a reason to hang out together and get a cheap lunch out somewhere so that soemone else would have to clean up the mess for once! the kids spent many a day playing together making them closer than mere cousins and we spent many an evening making dinner together for our families cause the food goes farther when you share...sometimes like Pat I long for days of no plans...He does indeed give the best gifts!

Mrs. Mac said...

No plans and no money can be a good thing. Spending time with your boys was the most important job you had ... and looks like the no plans/no money/no car life style has paid off.