Back

to work tomorrow morning! Everybody is asking me if I'm dreading going back and the answer is...no. A week ago I would've said otherwise but I realize now that I was still feeling badly. Friday I started really feeling markedly better and now I am grateful and ready to resume normal life. After going through surgery and waiting for a diagnosis, I certainly will not be unhappy to be declared healthy and able to go back to work.
So hi ho, hi ho it's back to work I go!
Praise God!

June 28, 2009

Deuteronomy 4:40 Keep his decrees and commands, which I am giving you today, so that it may go well with you and your children after you and that you may live long in the land the LORD your God gives you for all time.

1. He says he hates to put up a privacy fence because it would block out our neighbors.
2. I say I wish I could put a roof over the yard while we're at it.
3. He says white lava rocks look great.
4. I say only if it's 1974 and you're my grandpa.
5. He says let's gut the kitchen in the basement and we'll redo it someday.
6. I say past is prologue, step away from the sledge hammer.
7. He says let's listen to the new songs we're learning at church.
8. I say every song we learn sounds like every other song we've ever learned and besides, I'm staying home to watch HGTV
9. He says, "You never cared about money or nice houses so you've always been content, even before we moved."
10. I say, "Content?"
11. He says, "You were happy!"
12. I say nothing.
13. He says, "Well, you're happy now. Right?"
14. I saynothing. Keep him guessing.

Friday Book Review

My last library visit was a bit of a bust. I thought I was all set with a stack of books to read after my surgery but I chose two stinkers; The Stones of Summer by Dow Mossman and Ten Days In The Hills by Jane Smiley. Suffice it to say, I'd leave those on the shelves. I didn't even finish three chapters of either of them. Also didn't finish listening to Crazy In Alabama on CD but that's because I haven't been driving to and from work which is my listening time. I'm returning it unfinished because I've lost steam, although I was enjoying it, and also because I don't want to confuse myself by having multiple sets of books out with different due dates. I'm easily confused.

So I have finished only five books since my last review which I think was two weeks ago. One of them was a little paperback silly book someone at work bought for me about aging. Which might have been enjoyable had not it been written from the perspective of a baby boomer, which I am not. I don't mind owning my age but I'd prefer not to own an entire generation! Maybe it's time to increase the Olay?

Book number one; The Men And The Girls by Trollope. I think I had started this one before my surgery. It was a mediocre read. Enough to keep me engaged but not enough for me to put on the favorites lists. Lots of angst, moments lost, love forsaken, etc. This Heavy Silence by Nicole Mazzarella. Oy, what a downer this was! In the fashion of few books, the main character, Dottie, is not likeable at the start or the finish! Dottie is working her deceased father's farm, the deed of which is held by her uncle. The uncle is a crook who keeps extending the lease with no end in sight. Dottie's best friend dies and as a result she becomes the guardian of the friend's 7 year old daughter, Mattie. So you are hoping and assuming that the presence of this little girl will soften Dottie's heart and give her a new perspective? Nope. She cashes in the kid's inheritance to buy out the uncle and get the deed to the farm. She works the kid like a field hand and refuses to give her over to family who want to raise her as their daughter because she needs the inheritance. She loses the love of her life at twenty when she refuses to marry him believing he will always be there and she is focused on the farm. He returns from Vietnam married to someone else, much to her surprise. She assumes that she has remained his true love throughout the intervening years until twenty years later when her friend dies. The friend also happened to be the sister of this man. She realizes that he loves his wife, is living the life he wanted and that they would make good parents to Mattie who is also his niece. Well, she doesn't care. She needs the money, she needs an extra pair of hands on the farm and the fact that he married someone else doesn't make her especially charitable. Walter (the lost love) and Charlotte (his wife) make due with buying Mattie the pretty dresses she misses from her former life and try to love her from a distance while not estranging Dottie who would then shut the door to the little girl. Dottie's field hand, Stanley, loves her but she can't be bothered and eventually when he sees her treatment of the little girl even he can no longer remain with her.

In the end, Dottie realizes she has nothing human in her life because she has given her all, including the people who loved her, to the farm. She sells off one small parcel at a time sending the money to the now adult Mattie who has moved far away to live her life. Mattie accepts the money, after all it is really her inheritance. But there is no one left in the farm house with Dottie. On a philosophical note, I think there are many of us who hold an ideal for years and years that requires us to feed what is good and true to the very thing that is feeding on us. There's a lesson in there.

The Kingsley House by Arliss Ryan was fabulous and you must read it. It arises from the true story of the Kingsley family, the author being a descendant of Nathan Kingsley who built the house in the title. The book is a work of fiction constructed around the history and stories of the family filled in with details that no one could really know 200 years later. The house was built in what is now Livonia, Michigan by Nathan and Mary who are early settlers. Their lives are chronicled as are the lives of their children and grandchildren to five generations. I loved this book. Romance, slavery, loyalty, shame...it's all there without high drama. It just seems the way a family's history would read if one were sitting in their living room through a few hundred years. Because it is based on the lives of a local family, it was especially interesting in that the landmarks and towns of the area are familiar. A really cool bonus? The house itself was moved from its foundations in the seventies and placed into a small historical area in Livonia called Greenmeade. And I am so going there this summer! Read this book, right now.

All That Lives by Melissa Sanders-Self is a novel based on the Tennessee Bell Witch legend. You may have seen the movie, "An American Haunting"? Same legend. In the early eighteen hundreds the Bell family is allegedly the victim of a "being" that torments their entire household. The various retellings all include the testimony that these events were witnessed by an entire community. If you were to google "Bell Witch" you'd find a ton of hits as it is a well known story. I really liked this book. It is a novel but it is, like The Kingsley House, a novel that finds its roots in truth. I don't mean truth in that I believe in the Bell Witch but truth in that something happened. Family stories, legends, lore; it's all stuff I enjoy. The question is, would it suit everyone's taste? The answer is no. The book details events that could be defined in the realms of evil or demonic. In fact, at one point I put it aside and stopped reading it because I know that this kind of subject matter can ultimately disturb me. However, I went back to it for lack of reading materials and in the end it caused me no discomfort or lost sleep. I took the book in as a commentary on pioneer history and story telling. Believe it or not, the "being" has some truly redeeming qualities which are fascinating. As a Christian, I am naturally drawn to examining the Bell Witch because it is based in a well-known story from the South. So I found myself wondering, is this God? is it evil? What happened?

The book, like the many stories of the Bell Witch, doesn't answer these questions. What I did appreciate is that in this particular version, the "being" is called neither God nor satan but the stronger theme is that all is God's, through God and at his will and control. So tread lightly on this book and take a pass if you are especially sensitive to things in the spiritual realm. This being the case I am not going to officially recommend the book. I'll leave that decision to you. And you can always google if you're slightly curious.

On the nightstand: Breakfast At Tiffany's, Lord of the Flies, When Madeline Was Young (current read), The Dive From Clausen's Pier, The Maytrees, Off Season, The Bay At Midnight. On CD, The Keep

That's the double Friday book review since I missed the 19th. Have a great weekend!

Journal Of A Woman Who Does Nothing

Good steamy Thursday to you. Had plans to sit outside with my coffee which I quickly reconsidered. Oy. I'm going to have to get up before sunrise to sit outside without sweating. I peeked outside and saw 6 squirrels, a couple of chipmunks, a rabbit and a flock of birds. It's a zoo out there! Donny is working on his tracking techniques, he crouches down and sneaks up very slowly and quietly...with a tennis ball in his mouth. He has also taken to putting his tennis balls into the pond in between fetching, makes a juicy little cool-down I guess. And nice & smelly too.
We might get some rain this afternoon which would be nice. It would save me watering the gardens and probably cool things down a bit. The factory gets increasingly hot daily so the Mr. is happy to have a few degrees knocked off the thermometer. He's off tomorrow with the new 4/10 schedule. I might actually venture out for lunch tomorrow. I'm not so much home bound because I'm not well at this point, it's just that there is no where else I would like to be. I am going to the library today but that's a necessity, I'm out of books.
Enjoy your day & if you're at the library, look for me!

Swamps, Possums & We Aren't Even In Louisianna

Wow, I slept until 10:00 this morning! I NEVER sleep that late, and I'm not all that glad I did today either. I took Benadryl last night at around midnight and it always knocks me out so I am not surprised. I just don't like feeling like my day is half over before it starts. Then again, it isn't like I have lots of stuff on my to do list anyway. I stepped outside for a moment or two and it's too warm even for me out there. I might venture out to read on the hammock later on. My swamp flower bloomed with a big yellow flower and it is so beautiful! As you know, Donny makes it his business to rescue the plants out of our pond when he isn't digging for clams. He doesn't chew them up but he does pull them out and carry them to the far corner of the yard and leaves them there. This year he pulled the water mint out but I found it pretty quickly so it survived. This flower thing was purchased with the thought that it was a fairly substantial plant so he might leave it alone, which he has! And it's really taking off, I'm so happy with it. It's so tall I can see it from my family room window over the top of the truck!
My flower seeds aren't sprouting which doesn't shock me given the fact that I planted them so late and I noticed as I sat on the deck the other day that Donny seems to enjoy stretching out on the dirt for a little nap. A dirt nap I suppose. Sigh. I think a few of my sunflowers are peeking through so I'll enjoy what I can. At least I'll have that crab leg bush next year.
My veggie garden looks fabulous. I think the lettuce is ready to be picked and saladed already. Lots of green baby tomatoes too. No berries on the raspberry bush but I think sometimes they do not produce fruit the first year anyway. Not sure when crab legs bloom.
Finally, do you remember that possum whose guts I hated? Well, he crawled behind our front yard hedge and croaked. The Mr. discovered this when he got home last night in the 90+ degree heat and smelled something stinky. And by stinky, I mean S-T-I-N-K-Y. So he and Mac went out and did a CSI body retrieval. Shew! Of course, I was treated to a blow by blow maggot and fly update by Mac. Oy-vey.
Since it's now after 11:00 and I haven't showered, I suppose Ill get moving and maybe today I'll even blow dry my hair. No promises.
Have a great second half of the day!

Clam Digger

I'm still out here! Six days post surgery I am feeling better everyday and as of Monday, the Mr. declared me a big girl and left me home to return to work. There are more things I can do than I cannot do. Pretty much just heavy lifting and moving with speed or grace are all that's left. I do stand up very slowly with an unattractive groan. I was hoping to return to work on Thursday but that was based on laproscopic surgery and the cyst was a bit largish so a regular old incision was required. I will probably be extending my leave by a few days. Most importantly, I am healthy and recovering wonderfully.
In other news, we had a New England feast on Sunday which my dad prepared by boiling the food in one of them turkey fryer things on my driveway. After dinner, he dumped the water out into the yard. Well, Donny the hound dog sniffed out the juices and dug a hole in the middle of the grass, apparently clam-digging. Which is ridiculous because we didn't even have clams. The Mr. was a little perturbed but I'm hoping a crab leg tree will grow there in the spring.
Turn on your air conditioning and enjoy your Tuesday!

Home

Hey everybody! As you probably read on my mom's blog, I am home and resting. Thank you for all of your prayers and love. Although the cyst was indeed a gross dermoid; it was kind of what we asked for, right? No hysterectomy and no over night hospital stay. Exactly the outcome I was asking God for. (Deb, "for which I was asking God...")
I slept well last night after finally eating some Mrs. Grass soup. The nurse said I wouldn't want to eat. Ha! The entire medical profession underestimates me. I ate soup AND ice cream. I was able to shower this morning and my pain is tolerable. The Mr. is home with me until Monday so I'm in good hands. After my nesting earlier this week, I am happily settled in to my home with my guys and feeling very blessed.
Plus I have some cute new pajamas, blue & white Hawaiian print shorts and blue t. I'm adorable.
Again, thank you and to God be the glory!

P.S. that pic on my mom's blog is prior to surgery, I wasn't quite so perky trying not to puke in recovery.

Today

is surgery day! I'm being admitted at 12:30, surgery at 2:30. Doggone it, they are insisting on an overnight stay which is really aggravating me.
Anyway, thanks in advance for your prayers and love. Look to my mom's blog for updates for the next few days. I'm feeling very peaceful and ready to have this done. Plus I am STARVING.

Love you guys!

Nesting

For some reason Monday made me feel like nesting! There have been quite a few projects around the house that I haven't gotten to for lack of time, money or energy. Or a combination thereof. Well today I figured it was now or never and if it wasn't now that meant I was stuck hanging out looking at the unfinished business I didn't finish while I'm off work. And who needs that?

So I planted my herb and veggie garden after going to buy the plants. I hadn't even gotten that far. That complete I "planted" my swamp. Which of course Donny immediately emptied and threw the plants on the ground, then I re-swamped. I put some wildflower seeds into a new bed the Mr. made along the garage. I know, they should've been planted a month ago. I guess we're living dangerously and they may or may not sprout. Something to look forward to. My mom had given me a few flats of moss roses a while back that I hadn't gotten planted when Dean's folks were here. Happily the mossies are a hardy bunch so into the ground they went today. Sunflower seeds planted...yes, yes I know. Too late.

The Mr. hung some grape lights around the deck that we have been holding on to since last year. They look very pretty and it isn't even dark out yet!

Inside I had some wall hangings that needed hanging so we hung. Three pictures of Dean's family that we got from his mom were framed and placed in the living room. Of course, we had no frames so a trip to Garden Ridge was required. Always a pleasure and there are many things a person finds there that a person didn't know they needed. Also picked up some extra throw pillows for the family room. Can't have enough pillows in the family room if you ask me. A few more things needed to go up; a rack for hanging bath robes in our bedroom, some baby pictures in the hallway.

By the end of the day we had purchased, planted or hung lettuce (3 kinds!), cauliflower, broccoli, tomatoes (3 kinds as well!), Hungarian peppers, green peppers, cucumbers, chives, cilantro, parsley, basil, rosemary, raspberries, strawberries, sunflowers, moss roses, wildflowers, a picture of Dean as a little boy with his parents, picture of his grandparents as teenagers and of his dad and all of his brothers, pics of myself and my cousin Lisa as babies, a robe rack, water mint, calas (sp?), lily pads, grape lights and bird feeders. Not to mention general straightening and organizing mostly of the yard. Oh, and did I mention I got a fabulous-smelling potted Citronella?

All on a liquid diet!

Being that my home is where my heart beats best, I am happy to have spent the day tending to the place that I love best. Now, surgery aside, I can look forward to the next week soaking in all of God's blessings.

And replanting the swamp.

Happy Monday

Oh my goodness, am I glad it's Monday! I know, crazy talk, right? But I worked the weekend so I was at work or on call from home for forty eight hours. Today, however, is my day off. It's also the Mr.'s birthday and he's off too. He says it's to spend time with me but that's a load of hooey. He is off because it's his birthday. If it was all about me, wouldn't it make more sense to be home after my surgery to take care of me?

On my pre-op diet today so it was oatmeal for breakfast and full liquids for the rest of the day. Because of this, I prepared with Italian food yesterday. Don't want to get all malnourished.

Today is a beautiful sunny summer day 'round here. I'm getting myself moving slowly. Just watched my DVR HGTV $250,000 Challenge. Love that show! Gonna put on some comfy hang-out clothes and do a little bumming around. Maybe pick up some plants. Got my housework all done on Friday so I truly feel like this is a real day off. Other than the Mr. hanging around out of the goodness of his heart.

Tomorrow I work a half day and then come home for bowel prep. For someone who rarely poops, it sounds like a good time to me.

Well I can't play with you people all morning! I have stuff to do!

Happy Monday!

Update: STARVING to a million pieces!!!

June 14, 2009

Psalm 128:5 The LORD shall bless thee out of Zion: and thou shalt see the good of Jerusalem all the days of thy life.

The Next Seven

1. Saturday: rainy. working. on-call over night.

2. Sunday: working. on-call overnight.

3. Monday: off. full liquid diet. last minute tasks before surgery. relax? dean's birthday.

4. Tuesday: working. clear liquid diet. leaving a little early for...bowel prep!

5. Wednesday: not working. surgery @ 2:30 p.m. home in the evening?

6. Thursday: home! reading. whining.

7. Friday: pain free. looking tired but lovely. good hair day without effort.

8. Saturday: sunny & warm. sitting out on the deck. realizing i have lost 30 pounds and was never fat, just needed my giant ovary removed.

9. Sunday: father's day. celebration at our house for father's day, dean/jay/amy's birthdays. new england seafood fest. dean in charge of drinks. predict he will not even have ice cubes or paper cups.

10. Monday: resting. pajamas now too big after removal of 30 pound ovary. dig out my size 10s which are also now too big. wear draw string pants. read.

Friday Book Review

I finished listening to Between Georgia and have to say I enjoyed every moment. Actually found myself teary in the car driving! Whether you choose the book on CD or actual book I think everyone would enjoy it.

On to the new batch. My current book on CD is "Crazy In Alabama" written by Mark Childress. This was made into a movie with Melanie Griffith and Antonio Banderas a few years ago but I either didn't see it or have forgotten it. Being that it is likely in the chick-flick genre I doubt I'd have given it my time. Although the Mr. probably saw it, he loves chick-flicks. Shh. Anyway, I'm only a few chapters in but so far I'm enjoying it. Often very good books become very bad movies so I rarely draw a serious comparison. At this point the main character, P-Joe's, crazy aunt has decapitated her husband so that she can go to Hollywood to get a part on the Beverly Hillbillies. How could I not enjoy this?

On the night stand are memoirs by Lancaster and Burroughs which I've finished. After a library stop on Thursday I've stocked in seven new books in anticipation of a few days off with not much to do in the coming week. I finished "Good Grief" by Lolly Winston...excellent. Well, I thought it was excellent. If you are a mostly rational person who has never experienced depression or irrationality; you might not be as appreciative. P.S. if you are one of those people, you may be very stable but probably very boring. So there. Anyway, main character, Sophie's, husband of three years has just died of cancer. She wants to be a dignified and beautiful widow like Jacklyn Kennedy and meet a fabulous new man who looks like Sam Shepherd and become a movie widow who rises from her despair to bravely embrace her new life. However, she actually goes off her nut a bit, eats herself into oblivion and finally gets put on a leave of absence after showing up to work in her bathrobe. She is obsessed with sleeping in her husband's clothes. She tries to give away his belongings which she has boxed for Goodwill, but when they show up she can't part with anything. She feels compelled to give them something so she gives them all of her furniture.

The book is funny and poignant at the same time. You don't have to have become a widow to have experienced desperation that makes you hyper-aware of things like the too difficult task of answering the telephone. Sophie seems to be losing her mind but it's a relief to lose herself instead of fighting to live in the world that is now her reality. If it sounds utterly depressing, sometimes it is. But yes, she bottoms out and starts crawling back toward living again as she tries to figure out exactly what that means as a fat, unemployed, depressed widow. Her reinvention of herself isn't smooth sailing and pretty. It's ugly and disappointing and slow but she gets there. And what I really loved was that when the books ends, all of the unfinished business isn't finished. She isn't sure that she will yet survive. She hasn't gotten over her husband. She doesn't trust that life will be ok now. She has just learned that there might be something yet for her. One of my favorite points? She finally gives some of her husband's clothing away and then meets up with a bum wearing his ski sweater. She becomes friends with the bum just to be near the sweater. I get that.

Current read is "The Men And The Girls" by Joanna Trollope. Just started it this morning. Set in England, it's about two older men who are friends and also involved with younger women. I love the whole England thing so that's a plus. Detailed descriptions of their homes; another plus. The jacket tells me that the couples will meet an older woman who shakes things up with the younger women. So far, it's pretty good. The couples are in committed relationships and it doesn't seem to be a trashy story so much as one of those books that looks at how people tick. I'll let you know, only on page 25 I can't give much feedback.

If there's an upside to surgery and a week off; it's lots of time to read and a good excuse not to do much else! A friend said it's too bad I can't fly to Mexico to recover on the beach and then he immediately corrected himself and said, "Never mind. I know you. You're already planning your giant stack of books." So true. Next week's book review should be a long one!

Wasted Evening

At 7:30 this evening, I gave up all intentions of being productive before going to bed. I have been so incredibly tired this week although I'm getting plenty of sleep. I'm off tomorrow after being either at the hospital or on call for 10 days straight and there's lots to do around here. Tomorrow evening we're going out to dinner with our friends so all day long I planned to come home tonight and do a large portion of my housework. Dean's at practice so it's a good time to get a jump start. With company coming in the evening and surgery next week I absolutely must have this house in order. Well the best laid plans....

I went to the library last night to stock up on books and my friend at work gave me two books as a recovery gift. It's pretty cool out there for June and rainy. And did I mention I am so very tired? So I give up. I'm wasting my evening by crawling into bed with my books. No one's home but me. The rain is falling and my bedroom window is open wide. I've turned up my electric blanket and I am no longer pretending to that I'm going to do housework.

I'm going to read and sleep. Tomorrow morning will come soon enough. And the housework always gets done. But quiet rainy evenings with a stack of books and a very tired body sometimes need attention too.

Tomorrow morning I will absolutely do my chores!

Dear Mc Donald's Drive-Thru Person,

I was at your establishment today purchasing a delicious iced mocha with low fat milk when it occurred to me that I could never handle your job. I cannot imagine taking orders on that little head-set thingy whilst making change at the window and simultaneously working the cash register.

If I were forced to take a position such as yours, I would be fired immediately upon being discovered cowering on the floor hiding from the tiny sliding window weeping quietly.

Hats off to you, Mc Donald's Drive-Thru Person.

P.S. The iced mocha I purchased was not nearly as delicious as the iced mochas at the Rock & Roll Mc Donald's near my home. Clearly one must be working in the shadow of neon to make a superior iced drink. Nonetheless, good job with the multi-tasking.

Meet My Cyster, Cousin It

So I'm doing research trying to understand all of the potential UPO diagnoses and potential treatments involved. Want to make myself a very educated patient who has enough foreknowledge to ask important questions. You might be surprised that given my occupation I need to do research. Well, don't be surprised. On the up side, if at some point the UPO starts talking to me, I'll know just what medications to ask for.

So, there are a number of things that this sucker could be but amongst the most shocking and disgusting per my research is a dermoid cyst. Since we certainly don't want to get caught up in doom and gloom cancer talk and there is not much else interesting to say I decided to devote today to that which is not most dangerous but certainly most appalling. And unfabulous.

It seems to me rather ridiculous that if the surgeon walks out into the surgical waiting room and presents my family with my long lost ovary now masquerading as Cousin It, we shall all rejoice.

But rejoice we will.

Da da da dum. Snap. Snap.

UPDATE: Just talked to my doctor, tumor markers are normal! Will proceed with surgery on June 17.

June 7, 2009

Amos 8:1 Thus hath the Lord GOD shewed unto me: and behold a basket of summer fruit ice cream.

Personal Prayer Requests

1. A benign diagnosis.

2. That I would be able to keep one ovary even if a hysterectomy is necessary.

3. That I'd stop comfort eating so they don't need a fork lift to move me in the hospital.

4. That the pain would be manageable between now and the operation.

5. That I will feel peace and that all is right. No second-guessing God.

6. That this all glorifies God and is a testimony at my place of work.

7. That I will notice and remember all of the love that is poured out to me as I prepare for this surgery.

8. That I speak worship and not desire.

9. That my family feels peaceful.

10. That my recovery would be swift.

Friday Book Review

I finished "Case Histories" which I mentioned last Friday. It was just ok. Seemed like a lot of work to keep all the characters and parallel plots in order to have a rather blah ending. No big surprises. I'd skip it if I were you.

Since then I've finished "The Cure For Grief" by Nellie Hermann. I liked it quite a bit. It was the story of a Jewish family, the father being a survivor of the concentration camps of World War II. This family, the Bronsteins, is comprised of the parents, three brothers and the sister Ruby in whose voice the story is told. Ruby is the baby of the family and the book spans her childhood to her twentieth year. Hermann does a remarkable job of creating this very clear picture of the Bronstein family and then, through several tragedies, finally recreating them. By the end of the book, the family is reduced from 6 to 3 and the struggle is for Ruby to find a way to celebrate what remains without feeling she is betraying what was. There are some books that I want to tell everyone..go! Find this book and read it. Well, this isn't necessarily one of those books. But if you run across it at your local library give it a go.

On the books on tape front, I'm listening to "Between, Georgia" by Joshilyn Jackson. I am loving this book! It begins with the birth of a little girl whose mother doesn't want her. In fact, mom is a 16 yr. old who stumbles into a neighbor's house in the middle of the night in labor believing that the former nurse can safely deliver the baby without the necessity of a hospital. Well, the neighbor does just that with the help of her own next door neighbors who happen to be her two twin sisters, Stacia and Jenny. Jenny is a soft spoken timid sweet woman and the interpreter for her sister who happens to be deaf. Upon seeing the baby girl, Stacia decides that she wants to keep the child for her own. As Stacia explains, she is deaf, she is losing her sight and her "sweetheart is gone." She has been "asking God, why does my heart keep beating?" And upon seeing this baby she realizes, she has been kept for the purpose of "receiving my baby. And this is my baby."

Stacia does indeed keep the baby who is named Nonny. Her sisters help her arrange a legal adoption. The problem is, the Crabtree family happens to live down the street and they are the biological family of Nonny. The book moves quickly to Nonny's adult life the the week of her divorce from her husband, who she can't stop sleeping with despite her pending divorce. One afternoon as Stacia, who is now completely blind and deaf, and Jenny are walking down the street a doberman breaks free of its yard and attacks them. Stacia is thrown into the street not knowing what has happened and Jenny is mauled. Nonny is notified by phone by Bernize (the aunt who delivered her.) Bernize is royally ticked off to say the least and to make matters worse, the dog belongs to the no good Crabtrees. P.S. Bernize calls the female doberman "The Bitch" but it is not a swear to this Southern Baptist woman, it's just a true statement! After Jenny and Stacia are taken by ambulance to the hospital, Bernize pulls her illegal concealed handgun from her purse and shoots "The Bitch" dead. For this she is arrested.

Nonny now fears what will come next. Her adopted family, The Fretts, have always handled the Crabtrees through legal and ethical means. Now Bernize has stooped to their level with violence and the dog's death coupled with the Crabtrees belief that the Fretts stole Nonny from them may just launch an all out war. I ended today with Nonny trying to contact the Crabtrees as she prepares to drive home to see her mother and aunt in the hospital to attempt to put some order into the chaos that's been brewing for years.

THIS is a book I'd recommend you make a point to read if you have the opportunity. I will warn you that there is some colorful language when the dog attack happens and although it's not graphic, Nonny's difficulty staying out of her soon-to-be ex's bed is very clear.

As Bernize tells her, "Well if he wasn't your husband it'd be adultery today or fornication after the divorce. But right now it's just stupid. Unfortunately stupid don't send you to hell."

Currently reading two memoirs, Jen Lancaster's and Augusten Burrough's. Not comfortable recommending either of them here as they have some inappropriate content and depending on your personal perspective; may be offensive. I read a wide range of books but the ones I encourage you to try will generally be PG 13 or less.

And that is the Friday book review.

The Next Step

I spoke with my doctor today and my surgery is tentatively scheduled for June 17. There are a few different possibilities and until I am actually in surgery we won't know if this will require only the removal of one ovary or a complete hysterectomy. Labs have been drawn to check for a variety of things including tumor markers. The June 17 date will be confirmed after it is also cleared with the oncologist who is to be present during the operation. There is no cancer history in my family and I really am not going down that road in my spirit. My mom did have endometriosis and that is one of the possibilities.

I feel entirely peaceful and really have a general feeling of wellness. Please continue to pray for me and my family as well as the doctors who will be treating me. If the oncologist is not available on June 17 the surgery will take place on June 24.

So thank you in advance for your love and prayers and please, if it doesn't seem too ridiculous to say this, don't worry! I am looking forward to having this behind me and not being in pain. It is remarkable how much pain a missing ovary can cause a person.

I'll let you know when the surgery date is confirmed so you can begin planning to shower me with gifts. Wink.

Job 12:9-10 Who knoweth not in all these that the hand of the LORD hath wrought this? In whose hand is the soul of every living thing, and the breath of all mankind.

A Day Of Rest

The folks have been safely returned to Alabama and we are finally back home recovering (grin.) We took our time driving home and spent the night in Buttermilk, Kentucky! Got in Sunday afternoon and grilled burgers for dinner. Did a little housework putting things back in order and went to bed early. Today it's cold and rainy. I have soup cooking in the crock pot and the Mr. just ran out for a few supplies. My intention is to catch up some laundry and cat nap in between reading and soup eating. I am worn out!
Dean's mom and dad have decided to move back here to senior assisted living apartments. That's more easily said than done as they own a house with more "stuff" than the Smithsonian and they don't know where to start with sorting and getting organized. Of course, add to that the fact that they are both disabled and it gets even trickier. So it's a step at a time for the moment. The working plan is to have them settled back in Michigan before winter.
I'm too tired to think or talk! So if you'll excuse me I'll go stir my soup and read a chapter or two.
Zzzzzz.