Dr.: How have you been doing?
Dr.: Any problems since your surgery?
Me: Nope, feeling great!
Dr.: It's not quite time for your pap smear and mammogram yet. Hmm. Is your hair falling out?
Me:No, I just got a kicky new haircut!
Dr.: Yes. I see. Is your skin very dry?
Me: Nope. I use Gold Bond!
Dr.: Alright. Very tired?
Me: Not really.
Dr.: Anything else going on?
Dr.: Everything is good?
Me: Yes (starting to suspect something. Another hairy ovary?)
Dr.: (Leaning forward with deep concern. ) You are getting quite heavy I see.
Me: Yeah, no kidding.
Dr.: What do you think is causing it? Thyroid maybe?
Me: Or the tremendous amounts of food I eat.
Dr.: Let's check your thyroid and just keep up your regular exercise routine.
Me: I think my regular exercise routine might be a contributing factor.
Dr.: Why is that?
Me: It's an urban myth.
Dr.: (Looking very concerned.) What do you think you need to do?
Me: Stop eating?
Dr.: Ok, (writing in my chart), let's go with that. But we'll still check you thyroid.
And why not? I've been praying for an under active thyroid for 20 years!