There is a certain breed of people in the world, of which I am not one. People who need to be needed. I mostly want to be left alone.
People who love to do and to serve and sometimes, to be depended on. Like every other potential personality trait, this one can go awry. Under the Holy Spirit's influence, these people are servants. They really are the hands and feet of Jesus. They find their life's purpose and identity in doing for others. On the other hand, without the Lord's guidance, this can become an issue of control. The motivation isn't to serve others but to make others completely dependent on them.
So I need some advice. When someone willingly takes over a task that you could do but doesn't do it well; how do you take it back? In my life there is a person who walks that line between servant and control freak and leans toward the latter when they are challenged. They do a few things that could rightfully be considered my responsibility. I never asked this person to do these tasks, they took them over before we met and things have remained status quo. However, things are not always done the correct way and often there are errors. I am willing, able and ready to step back in and relieve them of the job. But they get defensive, loud and sometimes even start to cry. This makes many people back away and try to soothe the person just to stop the firestorm. And the cycle continues.
I believe that God has called some people to need to be needed. But how do you firmly and gracefully say, "Thanks, but I just don't need you."
?
People who love to do and to serve and sometimes, to be depended on. Like every other potential personality trait, this one can go awry. Under the Holy Spirit's influence, these people are servants. They really are the hands and feet of Jesus. They find their life's purpose and identity in doing for others. On the other hand, without the Lord's guidance, this can become an issue of control. The motivation isn't to serve others but to make others completely dependent on them.
So I need some advice. When someone willingly takes over a task that you could do but doesn't do it well; how do you take it back? In my life there is a person who walks that line between servant and control freak and leans toward the latter when they are challenged. They do a few things that could rightfully be considered my responsibility. I never asked this person to do these tasks, they took them over before we met and things have remained status quo. However, things are not always done the correct way and often there are errors. I am willing, able and ready to step back in and relieve them of the job. But they get defensive, loud and sometimes even start to cry. This makes many people back away and try to soothe the person just to stop the firestorm. And the cycle continues.
I believe that God has called some people to need to be needed. But how do you firmly and gracefully say, "Thanks, but I just don't need you."
?
1 comment:
Heh. I like to be left alone, too. :)
As for your question? I have no real answer except to say either accept the situation such as it is, totally, (praying about it if you wish)--or-- ask God for boldness and the right attitude, words and time to say something to this person. Generally, I've found those two things are the way to deal with many, many such things in this life. Just my 2 cents... Blessings, (and thanks for your welcome back!)... Debra
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