Blog & Run

Hey there! I'm still here! A busy week has left me with no time for leisure computering. I've been covering for co-workers at the hospital and working on several projects at the same time. But all as well and although it's been busy, it's been a good and productive week. There was a rumor that I was back on Facebook but in reality, I'm temporarily logged in to enjoy the pictures of our friends Chad and Janis' beautiful new baby girl, Josslyn Eden.
Dean started at the new plant a few weeks ago and it has not been a positive experience. The move was based on improved seniority and a more established factory. He has worked for 22 years in the paint department and was hoping that was where he'd be assigned. Unfortunately when he arrived he was placed into a different area that he had never worked in before and on a pretty demanding job. In fact, the guy training him told him he has worked there for six years and hates it. He's been pretty discouraged not to mention exhausted every day. It's been ten hours at work, home to shower and eat and then into bed with a lot of Motrin to help him sleep. HOWEVER! God always has things well in hand even when we feel like things are making no sense. During orientation, the Mr. was told that Dearborn Truck is such a large plant, there is no moving between departments. Ever. The only jobs a person can bid on are within his assigned department. Last week there were openings in paint and despite the insistence that no one moves out of their department, he bid for it. He also spoke with a supervisor who had known him from his former factory. Today he was informed that on Monday morning, he is to report to paint! Hallelujah! I could see the tension already leaving his face this afternoon.
I am being presented with several opportunities with work and ask you to pray for wisdom and favor. More on that later!
Jay has been busy with work and his girlfriend, Emily so we don't see as much of him lately. It's so wonderful to see the Lord's hand fulfilling all that we prayed for when daboyz were small. Everything is not accomplished in their young lives, but God proves himself continually faithful.
Mac is on the road to West Virginia with my parents and my sister for a family reunion. He'll be back on Sunday.
So it's just me and my Mr. for the next few days. I'll work tomorrow and he'll spend the day with his Folks and then we'll have the weekend to do...? Maybe a movie. Maybe a dinner out. Surely some shopping because it's payday! Most of all, I continue to fall in love with Jesus all over again when he pours out such abundance on us. Have a great Friday!

Picture: Janis, Baby Josslyn & Chad. How adorable are they?

Titus 2:1-6
But speak thou the things which become sound doctrine: That the aged men be sober, grave, temperate, sound in faith, in charity, in patience. The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. Young men likewise exhort to be sober minded.

My Relaxing Weekend

1. Housework
2. Laundry
3. Grocery
4. Yard work
5. Hosting my mom's birthday party
6. Church
7. Church again
8. Errands
9. On-call for work
10. Cooking

Haluska

Mac and I are currently in Haluska Heaven.

I'm just sayin'.

Dean's Folks

After three weeks in Wyandotte Hospital Dean's dad, Ben, was declined for admission to the nursing home. It's a complicated mix of some of his dad's specific issues making him not a good candidate and the fact that part of his need for extended care was a result of his mom's disabilities. In other words, his current condition would not require a nursing home if his spouse could provide adequate care. Since his parents do not living in assisted living presently, the social worker at the hospital was able to get him short term placement in another facility giving his mom time to arrange assisted living. A week ago Thursday he was accepted to another nursing home for short-term care. This was the Thursday afternoon before we were leaving on Friday for Up North.I was not entirely comfortable with the facility that finally accepted him. There is a reason that only this place had an opening for Ben. It's like the old Groucho Marx quote, "I wouldn't want to belong to any club that would accept me as a member."Dean's mom, however, felt it was worth giving it a try so we left on Friday morning for Up North and on that afternoon Ben was transferred. Unfortunately, a few days into his stay my fears were confirmed so Dean's sister Kelly (having arrived from Alabama for a week) and his mom had Ben discharged home. Kelly left Saturday morning for Alabama and Dean spent the night there to keep an eye on things. I do agree with the assessment that it is too early for a nursing home and that Ben can remain at home with proper care. Three weeks of excellent nursing care did him a world of good at the hospital and his condition improved considerably from admission to leaving Wyandotte. It's maintaining that level of care while making adjustments for a steady decline that present a challenge. Dean's mom is disabled with legal blindness, obesity, diabetes and needs a walker to ambulate. Even with a walker she can only make it a few feet and requires a wheel chair for longer distances. Having been completely dependent on Ben, Marty (mother-in-law) has never done any work to deal with her disabilities or to prevent her own condition from deteriorating. This leaves her with greater handicaps, poor coping mechanisms and a deep sense of denial about their situation. Because Ben is doing "well" at the moment, she almost seems to think that the momentary crisis has passed and they are back to "normal." Which results in less than adequate care which will result in....you get the idea.

The Mr. has his work cut out for him and is pushing them toward assisted living despite his mom's reluctance. Although this won't fix everything, it will provide a good deal of support that will hopefully tip things in the right direction. So there you have the update! What will come next is anyone's guess.

These aren't Dean's parents, but aren't they cute?

The Camp Ebenezer Sunday School Picnic

Psalm 22:25-27

My praise shall be of thee in the great congregation: I will pay my vows before them that fear him. The meek shall eat and be satisfied: they shall praise the LORD that seek him: your heart shall live for ever. All the ends of the world shall remember and turn unto the LORD: and all the kindreds of the nations shall worship before thee.

Summertime Food Favorites

1. Grilled hot dogs.
2. Iced tea.
3. Lemonade.
4. Watermelon.
5. Fresh salads.
6. Ice cream.
7. Coffee enjoyed outside.
8. Fresh herbs on everything.
9. Macaroni salad with tuna and peas.
10. Bologna sandwiches with fresh tomato.

Home!

Home! A much-needed week Up North has come to an end and after six hours to complete a four-hour trip thanks to traffic jams, here we are. I think we are all rested and quieted after seven days tech free. Quiet would be the word for our vacation this year. Dean was preoccupied with his parents and his new job starting on Monday. My uterus is like a compass, it points due North. In other words, ever year I get a visit from my leetle friend right around this time. I spent most of the time with a migraine and feeling generally yucko. We were even less adventurous than usual and rarely strayed away from home. Thanks to blistering heat, no campfires or s'mores this year.
Still, no complaints. We are surely more refreshed than we were a week ago if for no other reason than down-time we wouldn't have taken here at home. It just happened to be a year with issues that wouldn't completely disappear for a week.
So I am happily back on Queen Street with the vacation laundry already laundering. Jay has headed home to do yard work and Mac has disappeared into the basement. Donny has deposited himself in his "hot hole" (a giant hole he dug in the backyard.) Dean is sorting through the week's mail and will shortly go see his parents. Although we haven't been here, this house seems to need a dusting and a little shining. In a way, it feels like we spent a week at home and now we're home. Happy to be in either place.
And who knows? The summer isn't over...there may be a s'more or two in store before the leaves fall!
Grace!

Washed By The Water

On My Heart Today

Up North Countdown

Just a few more days and we're headed Up North! Leaving Friday and more than ready to hit the road. I've got my library books borrowed, a few more loads of laundry to do and I'm finishing up the fresh fruit and veggies out of the fridge today for lunch. I have finished all my projects at work and it's smooth sailing from here. Dean's sister will be arriving in Michigan from Alabama this weekend so we can truly be off the clock. His dad remains at Wyandotte Hospital awaiting transfer.
So if I don't post again, I will see you in a week or so. Have a safe and wonderful 4th of July!

Holding Tight

My parents had us all over today for our month of June celebrations; birthdays for the Mr., Jay and Amy and Father's day all rolled into one party. Mom made a delicious dinner and all of the above were showered with gifts. Ahh. Love it.
On the way out Mac was eating schnitzel out of the pan and Jay was scooping apple sauce up with the serving spoon for one more bite. I know, I know. Ugh, right? Yeah. And yet, not. They know who they are and that it is more than fine for them to munch their way through their grandparents' kitchen.
It's not to be taken lightly, family. Someday there will be no grandma and grandpa for them to visit and then no mom and dad either. But they will always know who they are. As long as they are first and foremost in their own minds a part of this family, they will never be lost.

Hold tight to each other.

Ecclesiastes 2:24

There is nothing better for a man, than that he should eat and drink, and that he should make his soul enjoy good in his labour. This also I saw, that it was from the hand of God.

Don't let summer go by without...

1. Watermelon

2. A picnic

3. A morning outside

4. Wearing shorts

5. Walking barefoot on grass

6. Waking up early

7. At least one pot of flowers

8. Fresh veggies

9. Staying outside after dark

10.Ice cream

56

The air conditioning is finally off! It's been running around the clock for two days with steamy hot weather and a Mr. who works in a hot factory all day and wants the house cool. But this morning the temperature is 56 degrees and I just walked through the house opening all the windows. Mr. Ben Baily on the Fox 2 News says it will be about 83 degrees today. I could keep the air off altogether but I've got a suspicion Dean will have it back on this evening.
After today I've got four work days next week and we'll be on the road for Up North. That means a week of almost-cold mornings on the porch swing with a blanket and a cup of coffee while everyone else sleeps. It also means reading in bed at night with crisp breezes blowing in the windows and the sounds of the Mr. & Daboyz staying up late. We are ready. Lumberjack breakfasts, comfortable clothes and campfires at night are what 4th of July week is all about.
This morning is a little bit like an Up North morning and it puts me in a good mood. I'm ready for the day. It's Dean's last day working at Auto Alliance where he's been for 23 years, since his first day as an automotive worker. The guys are giving him a potluck lunch. I may just go out to lunch myself today.
Wherever your Friday takes you, for heaven's sake, turn off the air conditioning and enjoy the fresh summer air!

Hi!

A quick fly-by to say hi!
Praise the Lord, the Mr.'s prayers were answered and he will be transferring to the new factory on July 12 and so he'll get his two weeks off. Hallelujah! His dad remains hospitalized. He'll need to be stable enough not to have a one to one staff before he can be moved to the nursing home. Probably next week some time.
Dean & I are going out for a quick bite then he'll go to practice and I'll come home for my Thursday chores. I'm off this weekend so I'm looking forward to one more day of work and before you know it, July 2 and vacation!
Thank you all for your prayers and support. Have a great evening!

You Are Eternal

This morning my work husband, Kevin, received a terrible phone call. (And yes, I do have a work husband.) The call was from the husband of one of Kevin's staff. The employee had committed suicide on Monday night.
What a terrible day we've had.
Suicide is beyond words, there are none awful enough to describe it. This is the fourth person I know who has taken their own life who was not a patient. And when you are a mental health professional whose co-worker suicides, you have a different kind of grief in addition to the loss. It's an accusatory voice that says, "What did I miss?
And, "If someone in our field can't find their way through, are we all just wasting our time? Is it hopeless?"
It never makes sense to the survivors, never. It's beyond comprehension because anyone who is alive never got there, all the way there.
I spend hours and hours every day trying to impact depression, mental illness and violence. I don't think there is anyone more compassionate than I am toward those trapped within their own anguish. That said, I want to say a word to survivors today. I've been talking to them since 9:00 this morning you see. So I figured I would take this time to tell them to you as well.

1. Suicide is mean. There are multiple victims of suicide. The ones who are still breathing will carry their scars forever. They will always wonder why they weren't enough.
2. Suicide is smart. Most people who are truly suicidal will succeed. They will not seem much different than usual. They might even seem happier because they have it figured out and they believe their pain is going to end. No matter how hard we try, sometimes it will out smart us.
3. Suicide is angry. It's vengeful and spiteful. It takes everyone down with it. It leaves an empty shell for someone to find and questions that will never have enough answers. It deprives us of our rights and decides the pain it inflicts is a reasonable price for its agenda.
4. Suicide is violent. There is no gentle and painless suicide. Life always pushes toward survival, the breath of God demands its exhale and inhale. It is the suffocation of creation.
5. Suicide is a liar. It sucks the color and light from everything. It whispers that your marriage is hopeless, your children are hopeless, your home is hopeless, your job is hopeless. Nothing is good. Nothing will change. No one will care no one will care no one will care.
6. Suicide is preventable. If you know someone that you think is in danger, throw dignity and offense to the wind. Call 911, call their parents, their children, their doctor, their boss. Make suicide impossible if you have to stand on their hands. Remember it's a mean, smart, angry, violent liar. It doesn't deserve respect. It deserves to be wrestled into submission. Make amends later.
7. Suicide is not escape, whether you believe in hell or the possibility of redemption, there is no escape. At the first spark of life we are eternal. There is no shortening of days.

Only a fool would lay down in the hands of a mean, smart, angry violent liar. Fight ugly and unfairly. Pull out all the stops. And if you are thinking the unthinkable, take the next breath and use it to say "No."

You are eternal.

...the kingdom of heaven suffereth violence, and the violent take it by force. Matthew 11:11

The Season of This

Good Tuesday! Our day off went much too quickly but I believe that it did the Mr. some good. Although our early morning agreement, not to discuss nursing homes and finances and elder care, didn't hold up. By afternoon he was back on the phone and back with his nose in the Medicaid handbook. I reminded him that all of that could wait but he insisted that a little bit of time spent on it would allow him to relax better. In the process of this he called his uncle in Tennessee who is coming next week for a visit. Dean's grandmother is needing to move from her home and of course, this adds to the concerns of everyone. His uncle told the Mr. how much he has blessed his parents and that he has accomplished in a very short time things for his folks that never would have happened in Alabama. He needed to hear that, so the break from the break was a blessing in disguise.

Today we're back to real life. Dean will work ten hours, come home and shower and then go take his mother to the hospital to visit until 8:00 p.m. Then home for a late dinner and bed. And so goes the daily routine. Ben will probably be transferring to a nursing home during the last half of the week. It will take about three more months for Dean's mom to qualify for additional assistance and then we will settle her into her new home in a seniors apartment. And then? Slowly we'll settle into whatever this will be.

Mac has applied for a nursing assistant position at Wyandotte Hospital. Please pray for God's will. He will be finishing up pre-requisites this year and then entering the nursing program next Autumn. He's never worked in health care before so the application is a long-shot but God will make the way if it is right for Mac. Because he doesn't need to attend school full-time this year, it would be nice to be working at a hospital and getting his feet wet while he finishes out a few more classes. Not to mention the potential for tuition assistance! Like many young people he has spent the first few years out of high school trying to figure out the best path for his life and changed his major from math to nursing. He's excited now about the direction the Lord is leading him.

Jay just bought a new car, an Escape. Again, God gives good things. To be so young and to already have been established in his adult life through the generosity of the Lord and more than a little help from his grandparents, his dad and I are able feel a sense that he is on the right track as well as his brother.

That's what I really want to say today. This blog has turned into a journal of elder-care with a side of poor pitiful us sometimes. God, never giving us more than we can bear, has given us more than we can imagine. More good things. It doesn't escape me that many parents of children in their early twenties spend sleepless nights pacing the floor with worry. Our day off yesterday concluded with the four of us gathering after daboyz got off of work for steaks grilled by the Mr. and a quiet evening at home. Despite the busyness, this is how most of our evenings end up. The four of us still eat dinner together most every day. In fact, sometimes we look at these kids and ask them if they can't find somewhere else to go once in a while! On Friday we told Mac, "Why don't you get together with your girlfriend instead of hanging out here?" The result, he and his girlfriend and Jay joined us for dinner out! If that's our biggest issue with our young adult boys, I can't complain.

On Sunday Dean spent the day at the hospital while I worked and he called to ask if I could meet him and his mom for dinner. I called Mac to find out what he was doing. He was at this brother's house hanging out. They came to dinner and then went back to Jay's for a bit. Then the two of them joined us at our house for ice cream. Simple? Yes. But my kids are best friends. My husband is a good son. If we fail to see the simple wonders in the midst of our days, life can seem difficult indeed.

This morning the Mr. has left for work, I'm getting going shortly. Mac is still asleep, will be headed out to his landscaping job in about an hour. Jay is probably just waking up and will be on the road to his desk at the bank soon. My parents are safe and healthy in their own home, although I suspect they are not up and about yet! :) Dean's mom is sound asleep in her little apartment that has become her home and place of refuge and his dad is safe and well-cared for by wonderful people in the hospital, sparing us worry about wandering or falls or who knows what else.

Although it's just starting, it's a good day. I haven't seen the details yet, God made it for us. And he is the giver of good things.

Grace & love~

Lunch On the Porch

Sttrretch! I love mornings and especially the ones when I don't have to work! The sun is shining, it's cool and bright out. Perfect open-window weather, which I also love. It has to be pretty warm for me to prefer air conditioning to fresh air. The coffee is on and the first load of laundry is in. The dog has gone out, come in, eaten breakfast and returned to bed.

The Mr. is also still asleep. He's transferring to a new plant with better job security and handling his parent's transition and frankly, he's done worn out. The early bedtimes and trying to relax here and there aren't cutting it. He needs a plain old day off. I mean a day off with nothing to do, not a day off to run errands and tour nursing homes and spend two hours trying to explain to his dad why he can't come home. Off, home and relaxing with nothing on the to-do. Well, of course there's stuff on the to-do but we'll give him a break for the day. I fear without a break he'll end up, well, broken. Please add the move to the new factory to your prayer list? The plant he works at now will start shut-down next Monday for two weeks. The new one only has one week off, the week of the fourth. He truly needs the two weeks. Please pray for the transfer to be scheduled for after shut-down? Thanks.

We're planning our annual Up North week the week of July 4th. Dean's sister happened to plan her vacation here to visit with his parents quite a while ago for a week earlier and then had to change her plans to the same week as our trip Up North. That's a good thing, he'll be able to hand the folks off for a week without wondering if he should cancel that much needed vacation. The Lord works it out even when we don't know we'll need it!

I have an at-home day with the Mr. in my plans. Quiet, an old movie and maybe BLTs on the back porch for lunch. I'm going to make a pitcher of lemonade and we'll probably grill swordfish for dinner to go with fresh corn on the cob. Might sound boring but sounds downright perfect to me.

Oh, and did I mention my favorite surprise of last week? I got a real old fashioned letter from Mrs. Mac! Pages and pages long! We really must start writing letters by hand on wonderful stationary. It's proof that there are real people out there somewhere! Thanks Mrs. Mac! I will be finding some lovely stationary and writing you back!

Happy quiet busy whatever-you-need Monday!

The Season of Getting Ready

How much trouble do we bring upon ourselves by being not ready? Avoidable difficulties, those are the ones that really get me.

In the last week for instance, I have not been ready to eat properly by not defrosting food or not going to the market or not having a plan. The result? Another week of not losing a single pound.

I have not been ready in time for work because I hit snooze a few too many times.

And so on.

Failing to plan is planning to fail and all that.

Several years ago I was working with my friend Becky and she was so bothered by her parents' decision to purchase long-term care insurance. It was lots of money every month to prepare for a someday (you know about those somedays) that was so far away it could hardly be imagined. And there was every chance her parents wouldn't even need such extensive care and that money would be wasted. That was about ten years ago. Becky's mom died of Alzheimer's disease almost a year ago, and her dad passed a few months later. They lived until the end in a beautiful retirement community that was able to provide for them from independence to total care. They were ready.

I'm usually all about being ready so I can't wait for tomorrow when I'm off work and I can get to the market. I'm already planning my meals, not going to have another week figuring it out as I go. I'm the person who always has her laundry caught up and the housework gets done on schedule. I make my hair cut appointments way ahead of time. I have extra shampoo, canned goods and flashlights stashed away. My gas tank? Never less than 1/4 full. That'll get me pretty much anywhere. Even my coffee pot gets set up every evening for the next morning.

As life goes on, we need to look even farther than a week or a month ahead and be ready. Be careful not to burn bridges or take other people for granted. If payday comes with $0 left in the bank, something needs to happen.

And when someday arrives, no one will think it's a bit charming if we say, "Oh I have always been a procrastinator!" Nor will it stop the hands of time to insist, "I'm not ready!"

Ready or not, life will be wonderful sometimes. There will be passion. There will be storms. If there are babies, there will be teenagers. And tomorrow will come. Ready or not.

I'm planning on nurturing and guarding my marriage with everything in my being. I'm planning on guiding daboyz without dominating them. I'm planning on holding my grandchildren, inhaling deeply and remembering when their dads were babies.

I'm planning on being healthy and engaged with life. I'm planning on adding perennials to my yard every year until it becomes a blaze of color and beauty for the springs of my retirement. I plan on having my house paid off in ten years.

I plan for the Mr. and I to retire and still have some years left to enjoy all of the above.

I plan to close my eyes one day and open them in heaven.

If I'm going to have any of these dreams, I have to be ready.

Day by day, I'm doing what has to be done for just that reason.