Altar Service

I am so lazy. There’s no other way to say it, lazy. I simply don’t want to do anything, ever. I only want to sit alone in my living room and read. I don’t want to clean my house, exercise, shop, study or anything that would justify the amount of space I take up in the world.
I hate my laziness. I truly do. I look around and think of all the stuff I should be doing and could have done and I just want to kick myself. But I don’t, because I’m too lazy.
I have perfected the art of doing the essentials but the problem with that is that the unessential starts to pile up and pretty soon, you’ve got a mountain of essentials. That’s the problem with laziness, you end up having more to do because you don’t stay ahead of the game.
I don’t know what to do with my laziness except maybe, instead of my usual turning-over-a-new-leaf approach, I think I’ll make it a God thing. Funny how much of life I still try to wrestle with myself when it’s all God stuff.
What a lesson to be learned, that it is all about God. The lazy, selfish, frightened, sad, hopeless, angry, confused parts of me need to be presented to God along with the stuff that I think is worthy of giving to Him. I want to give Him the best of me so I try to identify the things I’m good at and give those over to His use. I teach or I write and I do it for Him. But there’s a hidden part of me; there’s a hunchback in the bell tower who I would prefer He didn’t see. It’s not that I don’t think God realizes I’m lazy, it’s that I’m ashamed of it. And I think I should fix it myself and then show Him what good work I’ve done. But that isn’t the truth of redemption is it?
I’ve been reading about “living sacrifices” and the Mr. and I have been talking about worship a lot lately. We talked about gifts and talents that we all have and giving those to God’s service as our sacrifice. He sings and plays bass. I teach and counsel. Those are our sacrifices.
Here today though, I’m wondering about sacrificing something else. I’m considering bringing forth a sacrifice of laziness. What do you do with a sacrifice? You offer it to God, not hanging on to it as your own. You let it die so you can live. You leave it on the altar and don’t take it back home with you.
What if I said, “Here God, is my laziness. Here is my desire to just satisfy my flesh. Here is my tendency to waste the moments of life You’ve given me. Here in fact, are my days. I surrender my right to waste them. I give them to Your service. I sacrifice my laziness.”
Worship is devotion to something/someone. When I spend my time in nothingness, in laziness and selfishness; where is my devotion? It is to myself. It is for myself. What if I stopped being lazy, what if I used my time productively and responsibly. Could it be that worship can happen every day? Every time I ask God, “what do I do in this moment?”; could that be worship? Could sacrifice of self be the first step of worship?
Dear God, please forgive me for the selfishness that fuels my laziness. Thank you that in your mercy and love for me, you reveal your truth to me whenever I am willing to listen. Give me the courage and the discipline to lay my days on the altar for your use. Take from me the childish desire to only please my laziness and give me greater joy in pleasing you. Be the center of my days. Be the object of my devotion, be the God of my worship. Thank you. Amen

Romans 12:1
1Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual[a] act of worship.