DISCLAIMER: In the spirit of honesty and forthrightness, I will admit that I did not write the following but snatched it from the blog of my friend Mike. He's a deeper thinker and better writer than I, so I guess I'll share my space. One takes no prisoners when identifying stupid evangelism tricks.
And so from the mind of Mike (www.partofthestory.com)...
Monday, March 20, 2006, 04:48 PM - day to day
It would be great if I could blow up most church signs. Honestly, most of them are just so utterly ridiculous, it is beyond me how they come up with this stuff! Although, if you go to a typical Christian bookstore, you'll actually find books with these fine sayings that boil down the wonder and mystery of God into quips and puns that turn the meat of theology into small cheese puffs that when really pressed down leave you with wasted space.
Some of the more popular one's I've seen or encountered others reporting include:
“Are you wrinkled with worry? Come into church for a faith lift!”
“Don’t have anything to be thankful for? Check your pulse!”
“This church is prayer-conditioned.”
“Distribution center for the bread of life.”
“A shut mouth gathers no foot.”
"Church shopping? We're open Sundays."
"If Jesus returns this Sunday where will He find you?"
"God answers knee-mail."
"A day hemmed with prayer seldom comes unraveled."
THIS ONE IS GREAT:
"Are you a reprobate?
II Corinthians 13:5"
Recently, at a small church in Taylor, MI (in winter time mind you) I saw this one: "You think it's hot here," which could only be topped by an earlier attempt on the same sign: Seating for eternity: "Smoking or Non?"
When I stop to think about these signs we all drive by (usually after pulling over on the side of the road to hurl my most recent meal), I ask myself what kind of nut-job person or couple would see signs like this and then say, "You know what Maud--we ought to check that place out...sounds nice.."
So I am begging you, if your spiritual gift is church-signing, stop making them SUCK! Stop turning theological truth into pre-school sayings. Stop assuming people driving by have an understanding of the gospel and find your biblical play on words as amusing as you. Stop fulfilling the idea that all Christians are large blue-haired women with smearing mascara and married to some guy mailing you a prayer hankey with some holy snot on it if you send a $500 offering or more in and "plant a seed." SERIOUSLY..please stop!
So there you have it, that's my take on most church signs. In the mean time, I hold out hope that they can be redeemed somehow (the signs that is). I recall one youth pastor I knew some time back who got put in charge of their church sign. He lasted two weeks before the responsibility was taken from him! What did he put in order to spice it up a bit?
"Aren't you glad you weren't aborted?" and "Yo Quiero Jesus"
1 comment:
I always like those signs... I think they are corny... and funny... but I don't really think they work...
Post a Comment