It's a Good Thing

Philippians 4:8 (New International Version) 8Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

This is the verse I used to argue with God.
As I was vacuuming God got all up in my grill and accused me of being angry. I very calmly and unangrily told him that I wasn’t angry at all. He obviously had the wrong person. I am chock full of sunshine and cotton candy. No anger here.
“You are angry.”
No so! See above scripture! I am thinking only of good things! I am a spiritual Martha Stewart! Good things! Only good things!
“Angry.”
OK I’ll bite. What am I angry about?
“All the stuff you don’t understand. All the stuff you can’t control. All the stuff you have no choice but to turn over to me.”
Hmm. Well, maybe. Angry huh?
“Yup.”
Maybe I’m just burdened. Isn’t that what Christians get? Burdened.
“Nope. Angry.”

Sure enough. I was angry. Did you know that anger and depression are pretty much two peas in a dysfunctional pod? It has been said that depression is anger turned in.
So yeah, turns out I was a little ticked. God teaches me lessons in bizarre ways, probably being that I’m a freak and thick-headed to boot. So later that day he taught me the rest of it. I was watching Biography on Lifetime. The subject, Melissa Gilbert (shout out to LHOTP!) was talking about having had her son two months premature and that one day she was going off the deep end trying to find something she could do to guarantee that he’d survive. And someone said to her, “There is nothing you can do about this but just be in it. You have no other power and no other responsibility.” I don’t know if that seems profound to you, but it hit me right between the eyes.
I am what I think of as an under-performing over-achiever. I know I could do pretty much everything a lot better than I do and I rarely go to bed pleased with my performance of the prior day.
When I was in nursing school, I almost lost it (literally) when I didn’t get the grades I wanted. Mostly because I was working as hard as I knew how to work and still not getting the results I wanted. It made me angry that I just wasn’t that smart. My best efforts had limitations.
I hate limitations.
I now realize that I have a pretty rotten coping mechanism when my limitations rear up in my face. I shut down. I push those issues that are beyond my control way to the periphery where I can hardly see them. It’s not complete denial but it’s a close runner up. Because of my Christianity, I hold myself obligated to pray for the stuff that I don’t want to think about. So I do approach those topics in that manner. But I do my level best to keep them off my radar when I’m not praying about them.
And honestly, my prayers are fly-bys more than intercessions.
It’s a pride issue too. I am thinking on only good things! I am Scripture Girl! I don’t worry about it!
Poppy cock. That’s right, poppy cock.
Thinking on the good things is not denying the bad things by default.
It’s coping with them in a healthy way.
So I thought it was pretty spiritual of me to not think of "bad things"; only the good things.
Oh, and a fly-by prayer at least once a day!
I found out that’s not what that verse means.

Philippians 4:8 (New International Version) 8Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

My way has been wrong. I have been thinking in terms of destruction and denial.
The right way is to confront life head on, feel the pain, the sorrow and the fear of it. Admit that I have no control over it. Be honest with God about what that does to me. Be honest about what God wants me to do. And use all of that to inspire enough prayer on my part that no matter the outcome, I can know that God is in control of it. There’s a beautiful side note to that, He’ll do whatever has to be done with me to make me able to survive the unsurvivable.
Take any potentially shameful, fearful subject you can think of. Something unlovely, wrong and impure.
Now wrap it in grace, mercy, power, forgiveness, wisdom, prayer, supplication, sacrifice, honesty, integrity. Wrap it in Christ.
So here’s the question, is the loveliness of Christ good enough to cover the ugliness of that thing I’m avoiding?
If anything is excellent or praiseworthy think about it.
Tell me, what is there that is excellent or praiseworthy that is not God himself?
There’s the coping mechanism we need. Not denial. Not being the neighborhood Pollyanna. It’s plain old balance.
Recognize the bad, focus on the good.
Deal with the shame, meditate on the grace.
Survive the pain by giving it to the Healer.
Denial is just a lie you tell yourself.
It’s not really the what we’re thinking about; it’s the who.
And when you're thinking about Jesus, it's a good thing.