Monday, July 31, 2006
What It's Not About
Tomorrow my son will board a plane for Thailand. Mac. My baby, now almost seventeen.
When I tell people about Mac’s trip they respond in one of two ways, “That is so cool!” or “I could never let my child do that!”
When God told Mac and Mac told me he was going to Thailand I said, “That is so cool! You can’t go.”
That was several months ago. Since then Mac has raised more than $2,000 to pay for the trip and attended weekly meetings praying and planning for the chance to share his Jesus.
Since then I’ve watched CNN and decided he can’t go anywhere. I’ve also turned off CNN because it was getting louder than God.
Just about a week ago my sweet friend Becky (Java Sista) got a call that her daughter who is part of the team had broken her collar bone on a youth trip. Becky made the sane mom decision, no trip.
Not everyone agreed with Becky’s decision, including said daughter and my son. Ultimately God downright overrode her and Miss Broken Clavical is going to Thailand.
I agreed though. In fact, I started dreaming of ways to break Mac’s collar bone. Or his femur. Or both. Whatever it would take to ground him.
In fact, I was jealous of Becky for having an injured kid. Seriously.
Saturday I was praying about God possibly injuring Mac or giving me the permission to forbid the trip or at least make me want him to go. The answers were as follows, “No. No. No.”
And this was the final answer,
“He is not yours. He is mine.”
I opened my mouth to argue but God got ahead of me and reminded me of the day I found out I was pregnant (surprise!) after getting in a car accident. That was the day I asked God to touch my unborn baby, keep him or her safe. Let me carry and deliver a healthy baby that I will raise to serve You.
He brought to my memory the day the Mr., a one year old Jay and I stood on the altar and gave Mac (then known as Macky) back to God. The day we pledged to raise him to be a servant of Christ. The day we acknowledged that this gift was not ours, but a temporary privilege. We prayed together that day with our pastor and our congregation over Macky’s life. My grandfathers were still alive and they prayed from their pews. With no hesitation I told God that this child was His.
Then I remembered the times I have spent on my knees at 2:00 in the morning praying for my boys. Sitting in the dark at their bedsides asking God to fill their lives and use them for His glory.
I remembered that my fondest hope, my greatest aspiration, and the only thing I measure my worth as a mother against is that my boys serve Christ with sincere passion.
And they do.
He is not mine, this sweet servant of God who is going across the world to share his Savior.
I don’t have the right to demand peace or guarantees. I gave it all up before he was born. Now it’s not about me teaching Mac to love Jesus. It’s about Mac loving Jesus and teaching the world.
I know you’ll be praying for Mac’s trip and for all the details stateside and overseas. I am counting on it. But I need to tell you what it’s not about. Because this is serious.
It is not about agreeing with mission trips. It is not about what you would do if you were me. It is not about whether the team can really accomplish anything.
It is not about you being worried. It is not about me being worried.
It is about Mac and God.
Please do not speak anything but praise and glory to God when you speak of my son’s trip.
Do not update me on world events that will terrify me and send my spirit in the wrong direction.
If you’re scared, go talk to God because; no offense; I’ve got enough on my mind holding hell back from my son.
I’m not trying to be mean. I’m a soldier and I’m at war. Fight by my side or step to the side. But stay out of my way.
Between now and when Mac returns home on August 17; I am on a mission trip too. I’d like you to join me, but if you can’t it’s ok. Just don’t make it harder.
If you are a Christ follower and He has given you a word to comment with to respond today; I can’t wait to hear.
If Christ isn’t giving you something to say about this, please keep other thoughts to yourself for today.
I won’t be this serious for the entire seventeen days, but today I’m not playing.
In one day my son is going to Thailand where I can’t reach him and he can’t call me.
It is not about me or you or CNN.
It is about Mac & God.
35For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me and for the gospel will save it.
Starting tomorrow I'll end each post with a Thailand prayer request for the day courtesy of Mac's Aunt Amy.