Wednesday, December 08, 2010

Pretty Chubby

Hi ho, hi's back to Weight Watcher's we go! I won't tell you just how much I've gained until I've lost it and can brag! Suffice it to say a lot. I've had some people empathize with me, "Aren't you frustrated to be back to being over weight?"
Would you believe me if I said no?
Well, not no exactly. I mean it would be a bit ridiculous to be happy about being fat and needing to lose multiple pounds. But then again, well, no. No I'm not all that upset. I learned during that three year journey to my goal weight a lot of lessons and the regaining of pounds did not erase the wisdom I gained. Basically I lost and I gained, then I gained but I didn't lose. Follow me?
One of the lessons the Lord taught me along the way was that I have to love myself well enough to take good care of my body. So I learned to love myself. I learned to not need to see perfection the mirror to find myself worthy. I learned that losing weight for the attention and admiration of others is certainly enjoyable but it's short-term.
If anything, I am more mentally healthy now than ever before. I don't particularly care how long it takes to lose this weight. I'm eating with health in mind which means the preservative-laden, artificially flavored low calorie foods play almost no role in my life anymore. Food, for the first time, is evolving into a lovely way to keep my body alive and not a reason to live.
So don't feel sorry for me that I've gained all this weight. Seasons come and go and our loving God uses every aspect of our days to refine us. He isn't worried about the size of my jeans. And although I want that number to be smaller, I'm only giving that part of my life the amount of attention it deserves.
My advice as a back slidden life-time WW? Forgive yourself quickly. This is something that pride prohibits because one most state the wrong in order to forgive it. Don't excuse yourself. Be brave enough to learn the explanations behind your actions and then forgive yourself. Forgive yourself for the mistakes of thirty years past or for the one five minutes ago when you ate a pint of Ben & Jerry's. Take a deep breath and a step forward. You see, the thing is, time rolls on by despite our best efforts and the good people of Olay. If we compile wisdom in place of shame, we become daily more beautiful.
And being beautiful, we are worthy of care.
And with care, we become more beautiful.
Prettier than I've ever been,
Chubbier than I wanna be,
Wise enough for the day.


Lisa in Texas = ) said...

There is so much wisdom in this post. I have traveled some of these same roads recently. I had to learn to love myself exactly where I was before I could come to the point of losing weight. And turning my life and my will over to God. And then He brought into my life the information that I needd in order to be successful. Praise God for loving us and giving us wisdom,
Lisa :o)

Jada's Gigi said...

You are far too wise for your years, girlie. Hugs! and congrats on your gains...and losses...its all in Him after all...