The Family's coming over this evening!

Up North, 2011

1.  The Family:  My parents, my sister (Amy) and her husband (Rob.)  My niece (Sarah) and her husband (Tim) and their baby (Mason.)  Daboys (Jay & Mac) and Dagirlz (Kateland & Susan.)  My aunt (Kathy) and her daughter (Brooke.) 
2. We're having a campfire at sunset.
3. The Mr.'s making sloppy joes.
4. Amy's in charge of appetizers, bringing Buffalo dip.
5. S'mores, naturally.
6. My folks are contributing cider & donuts.
7. I'm making cocoa from scratch and creating a cocoa bar with toppings and goodies to stir in.
8. We are going to draw names for Christmas gifts this evening.
9. Mac's girl Susan usually works on Saturdays but she got today off-yay!
10. Any fun stuff going on in your neck of the woods this weekend?

TDA, collecting donations to eradicate this terrible condition

So last weekend I was all excited to pull out my Autumn decorations.  Love Autumn, love nesting...yay!  The Mr. goes down to the basement (where I have always stored them in a box on the counter) and informs me; they ain't there.  Then he goes up into the attic and comes down with a different box.  It's a nice enough box, a plastic tote.  I was a little impressed.  He must have gotten the pile o'stuff organized last year.  I cleaned and polished and swept the house and then with great happiness, opened the box.  Which contained.  Three items.  A ceramic statue that was my Grandma Trent's.  A ceramic pumpkin that was my Grandma Trent's.  And a sparkly pumpkin that Mac bought at Walgreen's. 
I KNOW I have more items than these.  The Mr., as seems to often happen, has total decoration amnesia and insists this is all there is or ever has been.  Mac even looked around and said, "Where's the Autumn leaf garlands for the curtain rods????  There's more stuff somewhere!"  The little sign that hangs on my back door?  A figment of my imagination apparently.  Mac's girlfriend came over to see my Autumn decorations and said very sweetly, "Your decorations are nice.  I was, kind of, picturing, um, more?"  Yes, Susan, there is more!
Speaking of Susan, she calls my mom's basement Grandma's TJ Maxx basement as there are many many things down there.  Treasures for just such a moment as seasonal decoration when one's husband has total decoration amnesia (TDA.)  If the Mr. doesn't find my goodies, my mom has invited me to shop there.  Mark my word, if my stuff isn't found, it won't bode well.  I had what the Mr. thought was "too much stuff."  Ha!  If I go shopping in Grandma's TJ Maxx basement?  This place is gonna be a showcase that will require more than one little tote! 
I like to call it revenge decorating.

These are mine

My sister Amy ("MiMI") and her grandson, Mason

Brother-in-law Rob and Jay's GF Kateland

Mac & GF Susan

Kateland & Jay

The Mr., taking the individual pizzas out to grill

Nephew Tim, replacing the brakes on Susan's car while everyone partied :)

Mason and Great Grand Dad (my dad)

Donny

The Family

So, these are mine.  My people, my family.  These pics were taken on Labor Day.  One of the presenters during my hospice orientation talked about the philosophy that hospice isn't about mourning.  It's about taking the time remaining and enabling people and families to live with a sense of purpose so that the final breath will be one of peace.  It made me think, a person shouldn't wait for hospice for that, to have the moments that add up to peace.  Those moments should be pursued and treasured. 

With that in mind, I spent a large part of today planning some family time here and there.  We try to have a Sunday dinner or get together at least monthly, but I wanted to KNOW those gatherings are on the books.  People are busy, if we have a common calendar we have a better chance of blocking that time off and if we miss this month, maybe we'll make it next month and at the end of a year we'll have a whole bunch of little laughs and silliness and games and meals and hugs and conversations that will make the days gone by all the better.  So on Saturday we're having sloppy joes and a campfire, a few weeks after that we're celebrating Mac & Susan's October birthdays and we're in the process of planning a girl's baking and old movies day when the holiday season arrives. 

It's important, because these are mine.  And heaven only knows if any one of us will have a hospice moment to make those connections.  I'd rather not need it.  

It's the most wonderful time of the year!

1.  Taking a giant leap out of the 90's, I traded in my flip phone for a smart phone.

2.  I don't like it!

3.  I am assured I will looooooove it when I get used to it, we'll see.

4.  It doesn't have a fancy name like Galaxy or anything so I'm calling it a Nokia Super Duper; NSD for short.
5.  I worked 2 days at hospice last week and then Wednesday, Thursday, Friday at the old hospital helping with some administrative projects.  I guess a person can't complain about too many opportunities to work :) 

6.  This week I'm at hospice Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday; old hospital on Wednesday cross-training in utilization review.

7.  Got a notice from the city yesterday that on Monday our driveway is being torn out and replaced and our side of the street will have no parking for 2 weeks.  I'm told it's "Good news!!"  Harumph!

8.  I think I shall pull my Autumn decorations out this weekend!!  Yay!

9.  There is a good chance I will not be leaving my house until Monday morning.

10. P.S., I downloaded an app on my new NSD and now I can't get it to stop playing Christmas music.  Do you think that will be a problem at hospice?

Lately

Blogger is making me nuts :(  Of course, in between attempting to post, I don't think about it so I don't try to figure out the problem and fix it.  In fact, I'm already losing interest in trouble shooting.
I'm working at the "old" job today where I accepted a contingent position to supplement the "new" job.  Let's talk about the new job; I love it!  Of course, most people love their new jobs during the orientation period but I have a feeling this is going to be a long term love affair.  Hospice is a concept that most people embrace as a wonderful thing but sitting in the caregiver's seat and learning about it in the most detailed sense is so humbling, I am so thankful for this opportunity.  And let me just take a moment to thank the Lord for leading me to this particular hospice agency.  Of course, this is my first experience in hospice so maybe they are all equally wonderful but Angela Hospice is a Catholic organization and I thought I'd do a glory dance (wouldn't they have been surprised!,) when staff meeting started with prayer!  On the information board are posts about training, classes, open positions, policy changes, birthday and prayer requests.  There is actually a group of people who take the prayer requests off of the board to pray over them together.  Jesus is not only mentioned, he is lifted up and celebrated.  Yes, yes, yes I know that I am not Catholic and there are differences in theology but that's not what I'm concerned about.  In this world, a place like Angela is a strong tower.  My spirit feels soothed and my heart is encouraged every time I walk through the doors.  So brace yourselves, I may just be doing some hospice posts in the future-not about death and sadness but about what kind of wonderful things can happen in the middle of it all...after all, isn't that the message of Jesus himself?
Moving on, raise your hand if you love crisp Michigan September weather?  Me too!  Have you had your furnace on?  We turned it on once this week but used it over the weekend Up North.  And speaking of Up North...
Last Wednesday night after work we headed to my mom and dad's cottage for a few days.  Can you believe, we've never gone there without the kids or in the Fall?  I know!!  It was beyond words wonderful.  After three days in my new job soaking in the blessing, it was the perfect bookend  to my new start.  The skies were bright and clear and the weather was just a little cool.  In the evenings we used the fireplace and turned on the furnace at bedtime.  On Friday we drove to Mackinaw and over the bridge and then around the upper peninsula for a while, getting out here and there to take in the scenery and stare and the sky.  We took the Tunnel of Trees drive south on our way back to the cottage.  On Saturday we slept in a bit and then drove to Traverse City for the day where we walked around downtown and had a cup of coffee then drove around the Lelanau Peninsula.  For dinner we went to our favorite Traverse City spot, The North Peak Brewery, where we had whitefish & chips-yum!  On Sunday morning we headed home and guess what?  No Sunday evening dreading work stomach ache!   I was actually happy to be home, had been able to fully relax and enjoy our trip and ready to go to work on Monday morning! 
Today I am excited to head back to the "old  place" for the day and do some of the aspects of that job that I enjoy without the pressures of the stuff I didn't love so much.  It's kind of the best of all worlds.  Plus, I have a wonderful group of friends there that I look forward to seeing.
And that is the exciting news from around here!  Please excuse any typos or mis spellings because, as I mentioned, Blogger is being a jerk. 

9/11 with a grateful heart~

9/11, always such a deep quietness in this day, isn't there?  Well, for me at least there is.  I reminisce not just about the "where were you" of it, but of the time before and after.  I can barely remember the world minus the impact of those planes sometimes.  I hope all of us take some time to call out to God today, on behalf of this country and its leaders as well as for comfort for those whose grief is personal.
Today I finish day three of orientation in my new position, which I love :)  The organization I know work for is Catholic and it's like some kind of spiritual luxury to be in a workplace where Jesus is central and staff meetings open in prayer!  I knew hospice was an important call in my life but I've also found myself more excited about the true work of it as I've settled in day by day.  Lesson number one...hospice isn't sad!
This evening after work the Mr. and I are headed Up North until Sunday for some quiet time together and to soak in the fresh air.  I'm hoping this humid heat will have gone on its muggy way and we might have that crisp cold air that only Northern Michigan produces, it demands a fire and a s'more!
Time to don those scrubs I've missed for the last six years and go to work with a smile on my face and deep gratitude.  Gratitude for this new job, gratitude for my husband and the cottage in the woods where we'll spend a few days and deeply grateful for God's hand on this country that surely grieves Him daily.   



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Today~

1.  Spent hours and hours trying to incorporate my hospital office into my home office.
2.  Awakened rested and peaceful after eleven hours of sleep last night.
3.  Cleaned house in starts and stops and coffee breaks alllll day long.
4.  Listened to my Ipod, danced and sang really loud during #3.
5.  Actually stepped out onto my front porch to break up two neighbors fighting before I realized I'm not at work and also, I don't work there anymore.
6.  Transferred all of the photos I had on our PC onto our laptop.
7.  Laundrocized.
8.  Organized all of my school/career documentation.
9.  Sat down and read all of the cards and notes I've accumulated over my years as a nurse.
10.  Had a lovely day of peaceful thankfulness.  I resigned my position as a nurse supervisor yesterday and start a new chapter as a hospice nurse on Monday.  Life is good.

Changes~



Back row: Rob, Amy, Kate, Jay, Mac, Susan, Sara, Dean
Middled seated:  Pat & Hal
Front seated:  Sarah, Mason, Time

 Yes, I'm still out here!  Living an increasingly less complicated life over the last few months which has included less time in the cyber world and more time in the three dimensional world.  I've come out of hiding to wish you all a happy end of the summer and beginning to another year, the school year does feel like the start of a new year, doesn't it?  I awakened today with prayer on my heart as little kids and college kids head back to school.  In years past, I've prayed for their safety and protection and of course I prayed that this morning.  But I prayed with a new focus this year, that our kids would go out into the world and make an impact.  That they would shine Jesus into dark places.  The fields are white unto harvest and missionaries in backpacks are headed into the field this morning. 

Some changes are unfolding in our lives this week as well as I am in my final week as a nurse supervisor.  On Monday of next week, I will start a new chapter as a hospice nurse.  That is one of the "real world" things that the Lord has done in our lives over the summer.  With much prayer and thought and conversation, we are taking a major turn in our lives by reducing my income and I am going back to bedside nursing.  On Saturday I did something I haven't done in ten years...went shopping for new job supplies!  Scrubs (I wear business attire in my present job,) a stethoscope, pen light, bandage shears and even a cool clip on watch for my stethoscope!  Many years ago, the Lord revealed to me that one day my behavioral health career would be complete and I'd go to hospice nursing and here we are.  I'm excited and now that the time is drawing so near, a bit nervous!

My new job is part time so next week the Mr. and I are taking a few days in the second half of the week to go Up North alone.  We were not able to go to Alabama over the Labor Day weekend due to work schedules so we're looking forward to some time in the quiet woods of northern Michigan.

We're looking forward to what's ahead in our lives.  With a more flexible work schedule I'm feeling happy anticipation of days that are a bit less stressful and maybe even just a few more mornings of coffee in a quiet house without the demand of rushing out the door.  My time in management has been a blessing in more ways that I can adequately express but my heart has remained hungry for hands-on nursing and I'm anxious to connect to patients and their families one to one again.  Not to mention, ready to put in an eight hour day and then go home without a blackberry attached to my hip :)  Days off without a phone call from work?  Yes please!

Since today is not one of those days for moving slowly and lingering over coffee, I'll say good bye for the moment.  Wishing you all a blessed day and a wonderful first week back to school.  Oh, the picture at the top?  The Family came over yesterday for Labor Day and flat bread pizzas on the grill so we finally got ourselves organized, dug out tripods and decoded the timer on the camera and got a family photograph. It leaves one wondering...why didn't we do this before? 

Grace!
   

Spending time with my friend~

And the LORD spake unto Moses face to face, as a man speaketh unto his friend... Exodus 33:11 (a)

It's been a while since I've blogged, and may be a while again.  I'm posting today in response to many lovely e mails and messages from people who are checking in to be sure all is well in my world.  It is.  We went on vacation in the beginning of July and that week away from all things electronic and social media felt right and good enough to inspire me to keep that part of vacation going for a while longer.  How much longer, I don't know. 

I haven't received some word of knowledge from the Lord that blogging, Facebook or Twitter are somehow wrong.  And for those of you who read my earlier post about Paula Deen, no, I'm not angry and giving the world the silent treatment :)  I don't think other people should shut down their blogs and electronic communication.  I'm not taking a stand.

I'm spending my days doing much of what I always have; going to work and enjoying my home & family.  I'm listening to the same old swing music on Saturday mornings while I do housework, trying to eat clean and looking for inspiration to eat skinny.  I'm being purposeful by inserting more time with the Lord into my day where, just maybe, there had been a bit too much computer time.  I'm dead-heading petunias in the evenings and drinking coffee on the back porch in the mornings,  savoring every fresh air moment before the snow flies.  Today I think I'll make banana bread and the Mr. is grilling hamburgers later, maybe a fire on the patio this evening?  Perfect Up North weather for it.

The long and short of it is, I am spending my time being friends with God.  I've been guilty of using blogs and FB as a conduit to express my relationship with Him when what my soul has truly needed was quiet and personal moments.  When I think of my friends,  my heart is full with their presence.  I don't need to think of ways to explain my devotion or their wonderfulness in a blog or FB post, they pour out their love on me and I am better for it.  So it is, right now, for my friendship with God.  I am finding Him in face to face moments and learning to lean into the wind of His presence.  I am not anchored to my own understanding nor am I drifting in confusion.  I am learning to sail, the course is the will of my Friend.

Paula Deen

There was a black guy and a white guy.

They were debating over whether God was white or black.
The white guy said that there was only one way to find out and that is to
pray.
So they go up on a hill and they pray, and pray, and pray.
Finally they hear a voice say, “I am that I am.”
The white guy jumps up, and says, “Aha, I told you he was white.”
The black guy jumps up and says, “What do you mean? That didn’t prove
anything.”
“Yes it did. Because if he was black he would’ve said I is what I is.”

If the last line of this old joke sounds familiar, it's because it was said by Paula Deen during her Today Show interview in which she was defending herself against accusations of racism.  Apparently, a quoting a racist joke seemed the best way to make her point.
Huh.
As a conservative Christian,  most of the folks in my immediate circle have come to Paula's defense about one little word said "25 years ago."  Guess what?  I've never said ni**er.  Ever.  You know why?  Because I don't curse and that word is the highest form of cursing.  It sickens me.  Only 25 years ago?  Sorry Paula, 25 years ago, we all knew better.  You only said ni**er 25 years ago if you were a raving bigot. 
Right around 25 years ago, I was telling people that if they used that word, or "colored" in reference to people of color, I would minimize their exposure to my children.  Kids can say lots of unpleasant things as they test boundaries but had either of my boys used the word ni**er, it would've earned them a slap across the face.  Thankfully, that was never needed.
I read Ms. Deen's transcript, wherein she talks about having used the word ni**er to describe a man who held up a bank at which she worked and she "wasn't feelin' very favorable toward him."  So I guess, that explains it?  Not in my world it doesn't.  In my world, that word has to be a part of your vocabulary for it to come out of your mouth.  Out of the fullness of our hearts, our mouths speak (Matthew 12:34.) 
Let me share a personal experience, a few years ago my son was attacked and seriously injured by an African American young man.  I never referred to his attacker as a ni**er.  Not when I was on the phone with him and he was unable to string a sentence together.  Not when we were in the emergency room and he fell apart.  Not when he kept asking me where his truck was and we were driving in it.  Not when I realized he had no memory of his grandfather's funeral.  Not for the entire three weeks it took him to be able to work again. 
Her deposition shared her love of the old South and the experience of black servants serving white people in a beautiful setting.  That isn't a beautiful setting in my mind, it's the picture of cruelty beyond my comprehension.  It's like saying one loves images of the country side through which rail cars filled with Jews were traveling during World War II.  Not, it's more sickening, because it is a part of American history.
In the transcript, Ms. Deen states that all the men she knows use the word ni**er.  I say she knows the wrong men, in fact, I'd say she knows very few real men.
Are all of these corporations wrong for dropping Ms. Deen?  I guess we all have our own opinions and we want to call upon forgiveness and grace.  Of course, criminals who apologize still pay a penalty, do they not?  And her penalty is an interruption in her multi million dollar business. 
If you want a glimpse into Paula Deen's heart, read her autobiography where she describes herself as "a bawdy lady?  F**k yeah!"  Does that f-word offend you?  She talks about a years long affair with a married man.  She's not a nice lady.  She's not a sweet old Southern grandma. 
She's a nasty, immoral and apparently, racist woman.
By the way, she repeats her self-description as a "f**king bawdy lady" in her deposition. 
I think she's made it quite clear where her heart is.  Forgive her?  Sure.  I didn't need her to ask.  But that doesn't mean she will have my support in the form of my money.  Someday, maybe Ms. Deen will share the testimony of repenting before Christ for all of the deeds, attitudes and words that have grieved Him.  When that day comes, I might just become a follower.
A final thought, since Paula Deen so loves images of the old south...

Rhett Butler to Scarlett O'Hara:

"You're like the thief who isn't the least bit sorry he stole but is terribly terribly sorry he's going to jail."

1.  Fell asleep at 8:00 last night, up at 4:30 this morning.
2.  3 graduation parties and one baby shower this weekend.
3.  Promised the staff at work chocolate chip cookies, need to bake 'em now or I won't have time.
4.  I don't feel like pulling weeds.  Is it Fall yet?
5.  The Mr. sent me flowers at work yesterday, first time ever!
6.  I had the bed linens change by 5:30 a.m.
7.  Muggy out already.
8.  Middle age means wearing shorts even with chubby white legs.
9.  The Mr.'s on shut down, yippee!
10.  There's a very good chance I'm going to unplug from the computer a whole lot during the summer.

Happy birthday Sweet Baby Jay!

Real fathers

It is easier for a father to have children than for children to have a real father.

Pope John XXIII

A True Story

So this morning I jumped out of bed in a panic as I remembered that I was the only nurse manager working today!!  My two co workers were both on vacation days as was my boss.  Yikes!  I shot a quick e mail to my boss that I had forgotten everyone else was off (one of my peers is the early start at 6:30) but I was getting going and on my way ASAP.  I got to work at 7:30 and went straight to the staffing office because the nurse staffing coordinator is also on vacation. 
I called every unit to let them know I was there if they needed anything.
I rounded through the entire hospital letting everyone know to give me a call if there were any problems.
I did payroll reconciliation, staffing for all three shifts today, tomorrow and Sunday.
I created staffing sheets to be posted for the off shift.
I checked in with all of the doctors, created and forwarded the weekend admission/discharge and staffing projections.
I completed the budget productivity report for the first half of June.
I checked in on all the units again.
I reviewed interviews for nurses and disposition ed my recommendations to human resources.
I called everyone in the directory to sign them up for open shifts for the next three days.
At about 2:00 p.m., I sent an e mail to the other nurse managers updating them on my (rather impressive) progress during my day on my own.  I told them to enjoy their days off and their weekend.  No worries, I have this all in control!  I didn't even take a lunch!  My left shoe fell apart, I didn't leave to go buy a new pair!  I can't leave the hospital unattended!  I had a pair of tennis shoes in my car which I put on with my dress casual business wear!
Did I mention my sister had a meeting at my hospital this morning?  Did I have a cup of coffee, shoot the breeze, go out for a bagel with her?  No!  I am responsible for the entire hospital!
At about 2:15, one of the managers I was covering e mailed back that one of her staff was willing to work a double.  "Turn off your email!"  says I!  "I've got this, stop working and enjoy your day!"
"But, I'm in my office."
"Huh?"  says I.  "I thought you and Wendy were off today!"
"Nope, she's in her office too.  We were just saying how quiet it's been today."
Good grief! 
I'm exhausted.

Retirement plans~

We've been shifting into high gear financially so that when the time comes, we are ready for retirement.  This has meant that I've had to seriously consider the "some day" plans I had and decide if they were worth keeping on the list and working into our budget.  Most of them were not. 
I've heard people say that as one gets older, one doesn't need as much.  I'm finding that to be true and to be unfolding quickly in my own life.  Little things like going to the movies don't capture my attention, dinner in restaurants just isn't as satisfying as at our own table.  The Mr. has promised me a new diamond for our 30th anniversary in a few years and just last week, I looked down at my hand and realized, I don't need another ring. 
We have Mac to get through school and then he'll be out on his own.  Empty nesters with simple desires, that's what we'll be. 
Bit by bit, we've planted our yard with perennials and every year our outside budget gets a little smaller because of the progress we've made.  I can't think of any furniture I am hoping for and as for my home, all of the daydreams I have involve little more than paint and maybe some cute new curtains. 
And then, as though to confirm His hand on us, the other day the Lord brought a reminder to me.  Driving to work, the pastor I was listening to spoke about ensuring financial stability by giving to God.  No, this isn't news to me but it immediately caught my attention.  Yes!  We need to invest more in the kingdom!  That was the missing part of the puzzle, the mysterious something I couldn't solve that had me a little worried about our future finances.  Just give it to God, all of it, everything penny.  It's all His anyway.  Sometimes I forget that.  Instead of looking for places to cut corners or developing the discipline of saving or trying to navigate investment and retirement plans, we will put that money into ministries that will reach the world.
That, friends, is a retirement plan that is recession proof.