Monday, June 25, 2007

Whether it's downriver...

What am I doing today, you ask?
Well, let me tell you. Feel free to laugh hysterically as everyone else is. I am shooting a television commercial! That's right! The hospital system I work for, Henry Ford Health System, is taping a new commercial and I have been asked to play a starring role!
Now, I know what you're thinking...why, Sara, did they choose you? Your beauty? Commitment to excellence in nursing? Lengthy career? Multiple award and accolades? I think it would be best summed up by what I was told by the VP of nursing when she asked me. It went something like this, "We'd love to have you in our new commercial. Because, now don't take this wrong, you aren't younger and trendy. And you aren't so old you look like you should've retired twenty years ago. You're right there in the middle....like a seasoned professional nurse would look." or something to that effect.
Well, imagine my relief to know that I don't look too young. Shew! Dodged that bullet! She said a few nice things to kind of frame that part, but you can guess which sentence I'm remembering! In all fairness, I'm glad I don't look twenty years past retirement. And for those fans of irony, although I look like a middle-aged seasoned professional, I've only been a nurse for three years!
So off I go to Stage Three Productions to shoot my television debut. I tried to style my hair into something that would inspire trust in the health system at large, but it seems to more resemble Betty White circa Mary Tyler Moore Show. But I can't be bothered with that right now as I must go rehearse my lines...
Whether it's downriver,
Whether it's downriver,
Whether it's downriver,

P.S. I asked if I could do a little river dance out of frame after delivering my soliloquy but no go. I believe the response was, "Sara, shooshy."
Shooshy?
Indeed! They obviously don't know who I am.

12 comments:

Pat said...

Where's my chalk? I need to put a star on the sidewalk in front of your house!

tina fabulous said...

i'm still all for the tackling the schizophrenic idea.
you must let me know every single thing that happened upon your return!

Margie said...

I think it should be "because it's downriver" not WHETHER! HA!

that is too funny! now i know a famous television star! whoo hoo

Sara said...

well, margie; the line is one of several that run together. do not question the script gods!!! it will be:
me: whether it's downriver
other nurse: downtown
some person: or just down the street..

etc.

meanwhile there was much discussion of my scrubs and whether i should be changed into stock wardrobe scrubs. got to wear my own. they traded my lime green stethoscope for a black one (more depth apparently) and i now have hollywood hooker make up. oh, and per the make up artist...
"wow, your skin is pretty dry, huh?"
it is indeed; whether it's downriver, downtown, or just down the street.

Pat said...

Ohhh...I would love me some Hollywood hooker make-up! When will this performance air?

Jada's Gigi said...

can I have your autograph?

Becky said...

how about that! that is so cool!

Becky said...

ps-when does it air?

Sara said...

airs in august...stay tuned!

Deb said...

There it is! Your 15 minutes of fame!

Someone will have to tape the commercial and blog it so I can see it.

I was picturing the "Betty White" hair with an old fashioned white nurses cap - the ones that you wear when you graduate from nursing school and then they're relegated to the back of the closet...and with hooker makeup...
there's a mental image for ya!

KayMac said...

How exciting!

Arlene said...

Sara, yo are way too funny!