Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Leavin' Some Stuff For Heaven
Do you ever tell someone about some short-coming and then they immediately tell you how to fix it? This drives me nuts. It is based on the assumption that I have a burning need to become perfecter and perfecter. Well, I don't. There are some things about me that I could easily improve on that I just do not care about.
I am only marginally computer literate. As I discover things that I truly need to know, I learn them. Otherwise, I don't care. Do not give me a tech tutorial if I mention that I don't know how to upload, download or sideload something. I could learn if I wanted to. I don't care.
My bedroom is a mess. I have no particular interest in your daily 10 minute routine that keeps everything neat without taking up too much time. I know how to clean and also how to stay organized. For some reason I cannot comprehend, I choose to live in the rubble. P.S. I do not need your psychotherapeutic insight as to why I do this. I know the answer being a mental health care professional. It is because I am lazy.
I do not exercise. I am well aware that this would increase my metabolism, burn calories and keep me fit and hot. I have heard the rumors that all it takes is finding an activity one enjoys. I know a few minutes a day make a world of difference. Oprah has told me time and again of the importance of weight training to prevent osteoporosis. I am not going to exercise regardless. Keep your helpful hints to yourself. Chill out and eat a cupcake.
While I'm at it, I applaud the fact that you cook fifty meals every Saturday and freeze them for days you cannot cook. I am thrilled that you harvest your own maze during the summer and feast all winter on your bounty. I stand in awe of your intake of fifteen gallons of water every day and the resulting transparent urine you void. Likewise I give you your propers for being able to hold all fifteen gallons of water in your bladder despite my need to pee every fifteen minutes drinking eight ounces of water at a time. And yes, I know what Kiegals are.
In conclusion, I appreciate all that you accomplish on a daily basis. I, however, have embraced the idea that there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in my philosophy Horatio.
I figure, I need to leave some stuff for heaven to prove that I am glorified when I get there. Like disinfecting my counter tops after cutting meat.