Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Leavin' Some Stuff For Heaven

Do you ever tell someone about some short-coming and then they immediately tell you how to fix it? This drives me nuts. It is based on the assumption that I have a burning need to become perfecter and perfecter. Well, I don't. There are some things about me that I could easily improve on that I just do not care about.
I am only marginally computer literate. As I discover things that I truly need to know, I learn them. Otherwise, I don't care. Do not give me a tech tutorial if I mention that I don't know how to upload, download or sideload something. I could learn if I wanted to. I don't care.
My bedroom is a mess. I have no particular interest in your daily 10 minute routine that keeps everything neat without taking up too much time. I know how to clean and also how to stay organized. For some reason I cannot comprehend, I choose to live in the rubble. P.S. I do not need your psychotherapeutic insight as to why I do this. I know the answer being a mental health care professional. It is because I am lazy.
I do not exercise. I am well aware that this would increase my metabolism, burn calories and keep me fit and hot. I have heard the rumors that all it takes is finding an activity one enjoys. I know a few minutes a day make a world of difference. Oprah has told me time and again of the importance of weight training to prevent osteoporosis. I am not going to exercise regardless. Keep your helpful hints to yourself. Chill out and eat a cupcake.
While I'm at it, I applaud the fact that you cook fifty meals every Saturday and freeze them for days you cannot cook. I am thrilled that you harvest your own maze during the summer and feast all winter on your bounty. I stand in awe of your intake of fifteen gallons of water every day and the resulting transparent urine you void. Likewise I give you your propers for being able to hold all fifteen gallons of water in your bladder despite my need to pee every fifteen minutes drinking eight ounces of water at a time. And yes, I know what Kiegals are.
In conclusion, I appreciate all that you accomplish on a daily basis. I, however, have embraced the idea that there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in my philosophy Horatio.
I figure, I need to leave some stuff for heaven to prove that I am glorified when I get there. Like disinfecting my counter tops after cutting meat.


Trish said...

You go girl!
I hear about exercise and weight training everyday!!!
Don't care to do it, Tom loves it I hate it! That's why he's skinny and buff and well I am not!
God made us all different... thankfully or this world would be one boring place!
I love exclamation marks others rarely use them!!!!

Pat said...

I do all those things including harvesting my own maze. I'm having a little trouble moving up from 14 gallons of water daily to 15, but I'm sure I will triumph and soon drink 15! If only you could be more like me. HA!!

Margie said...

You make me laugh... my favorite "Margie-ism"? If I was perfect, I wouldn't need Jesus.

Though... I am up to 15 gallons and eating fruits and veggies for my snacks.

It's like the Billy Joel song... I love you just the way you are!

Mrs. Mac said...

I think we'd better buy your mommy some 'Depends' and stay away from her if she's drinking 14+ gallons of water ;) ...

Your 'friends' wouldn't want to perfect you this side of heaven ... so you'll get no new advice from me

(except directions on how to organize your sock monkey drawer)

You've got just enough goofiness it's hard not to luv you just as you is schweetie ;)

Louise said...

Now, now Thara ... are you certain you don't secretly want everyone's advice about most everything? Why, what would people do if they stopped giving un-wanted and un-asked for advice? Live their own lives maybe????

I am learnin' in my latter years that if people want my advice, they'll ask for it ... leave 'em alone if they don't. They're pretty much all grown up and should have a clue as to how to live their lives.
Good post.

Deb said...


Oh my gosh --I can't get this Medical Technology stuff out of my brain! I have been studying like there's no tomorrow trying to cram all the stuff back into my brain which I've forgotten over the years...hence when reading this post, I was reviewing in my mind the clinical significance and benefits of having clear and colorless urine...

I say - drink more water.