Wednesday, February 20, 2008
I just opened an e mail from my mom with pictures of Amber's family including new baby Hudsyn. This is Arlene's grandbaby.
It is September 29 at 1:26 p.m. Hudsyn arrived last evening shortly after 10:00.
I think Arlene is going to go home now. Soon I mean. I feel a deep silence that feels like the settling of it all. Not in a manner of hopelessness but of completeness. It feels complete to me. Deeply sacred completeness.
I showed Dean the pictures but didn't tell him my thoughts. I write them here with heaviness although it is not dread. I wonder if I will delete this in a month or a year and wonder at myself for being so morbid.
Now I feel like the waiting for the call has begun. I think my chest will tighten with the telephone's ring at least for a while. I am, perhaps, succumbing to a drama that will lighten with the passing of a few days.
I have thought for two months that Arlene was only lightly tethered to this world. I have thought for one month that she is more of heaven than earth now. And so I wait, again, in deep and quiet places.
And I write this to remind myself that when the telephone rings, I had deep and quiet peace today when I realized the time was near.
Jesus, if you draw near now to bring her home; let it be sweet and painless.
Come now angel band, Come and around me stand; Oh bear me away on thy snowy wings to my immortal home Oh bear me away on thy snowy wings to my immortal home.
Today Arlene walks with Jesus finally, among the orange flowers. Weep for us who love her and not for her. By His stripes she is healed.
Voran Funeral Home
23750 Goddard Road
Taylor, MI 48180
Visitation Thursday 6-9 p.m.; Friday 1-9 p.m.
Homegoing Celebration Saturday 10:00 a.m.