It seems en vogue to claim low self-esteem or to belittle one's self. I often think this is a veiled bid for reassuring compliments, but whatever. I am happy to tell you that I am a recovered low self-esteemee. I ain't perfect, but I ain't all bad either.
Case in point, I am married to a great guy. He loves me like Christ loves the church, as he is instructed to in God's Word. This is not a result of anything except his heart submitted to God's lead and I am so grateful for it. However, every once in a while, I will encounter a female who is so impressed with the Mr.'s Godly husbandship that it seems like she is surprised he'd put up with the likes of me! In fact, said females will allude to the idea that perhaps he is even a martyr as surely I could not deserve such a fine man.
Well, lemme tell y'all something. I didn't run blind-folded into a room full of men and run smack into him. My parents did not just suggest but demanded that I date only Christian guys. No such thing as going out with someone not devoted to Christ with the idea that it isn't really serious. In fact, I never dated anyone my parents hadn't known before he asked me out and who did not attend our church. All in all, I held hands in church with four different guys (including the Mr.); went to the ninth grade dance with one of those boys and my actual first date was with the Mr. other than that dance.
I did not comply with these rules because I was so obedient but because I knew they were right and wise. I would not care to date any guy who wasn't a good choice to be my husband and the father of my future children. I chose my man carefully and intentionally and with prayer that started before I met him.
As for the Mr., he did not get such a bad deal! I, too, love him as Christ commands me too. With heart, soul, mind and body he has my full devotion. He was on the same trajectory I was back in the 1980s, looking for the female version of what I was seeking. He wanted to fall in love with someone who loved God so that he could raise a family in a Godly home.
I've noticed a commonality in these ladies who go beyond recognizing the Mr. is a really good guy to implying that I don't deserve him (and maybe they do?). Not one of these women have searched after a man with the same list I did. So they ended up with different results, sadly they ended up with not-so-great guys. And I think they are hurt and their disappointment gets aimed at me with resentment around the edges. I don't think they mean to insult me. I think they are just sad and wonder why their lives are different.
You may look at the Mr. and compile a list of wonderful things about him; he pumps my gas and has always Christmas shopped for Daboyz. He's a musician and a singer. He's funny and easy-going. He's always willing to run for take-out. He buys feminine products. You may look at me and think I am not the perfect wife this man deserves. There's no chocolate layer cake and slippers waiting for the guy at the end of the day. I rarely wear pearls while I dust. I rarely dust. I am mouthy and I turn up his side of the electric blanket to HI and mine is off so I can just reach over to toast my toes while he sweats all night.
He and I exchanged resumes with one item that sealed the deal; God.
If you're looking for a love, look for God in the person first.
Take it from me, Godly men are sexy.
5 comments:
you-
are blessed.
don't ever forget it!
You indeed are blessed my Thara. But then, you already know that.
I personally think you are both wonderful!!
Those who don't see the greatness in you, don't see the Jesus in you. And I saw that from the first time I met you.
God has given you His choice as you both sought His will for your lives.'
Real good read.
thank you everybody for your kind words! only, this really wasn't meant to be one more blog about the fascinating us (gag). it's about knowing that God has greatness waiting for us always, and there is no disappointment at the end of it. although there are occassionally lots of dirty socks.
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