"No one is perfect. Dean isn't perfect. Every relationship has problems."
"No, Dean is not perfect and neither am I. It takes the perfecting hand of God to make this work."
"Well, there is still no such thing as a perfect relationship."
This conversation happened a long time ago. Maybe ten or so years ago. A friend was in a destructive relationship with a man that she just could not sever. It hurt me and on a human note, it made me angry. Not righteous anger, more of a self-righteous anger. I was bothered enough to challenge the relationship but I will admit that I did not pray often enough, nor correctly about it. I did more opinion-sharing that interceding.
In the time since I was young, we have made a subtle exchange in what we want out of life. We look for "healthy" instead of "holy." It seems easier to swallow. It is much nicer to tell someone they need to make healthy choices than holy ones. The problem is that healthy can be defined within the individual while holy is entirely focused on God. Anorexics look at fat people and call themselves healthy.
We make decisions based on our emotional response and when we feel good about something, we call that healthy.
Did you know that holy doesn't feel good in the short-term? It goes against the nature of flesh that we reside within. It is the very point of holiness, to crucify the desires from within. Holiness is entirely uncomfortable.
I am very far from the daily pursuit of holiness. I am emotionally balanced and relatively successful and happily married and close to my entire family. By all appearances, I am quite healthy. Not to mention my blood pressure and glucose are perfection. My cholesterol is great. My weight is about ten pounds too high but that isn't earth-shattering. I am educated and employed. I have friends who support me and love me. My house is warm and my pantry is full. I drink eight 8 oz. servings of water per day and limit my caffeine to two cups of java in the morning. I am healthy.
But I am not holy.
I laid in bed recently reading. This is how I go to sleep every night. I was reading a novel that was neither healthy nor holy. Just entertaining. The Lord nudged me, put that book down and pray. I pushed the thought aside like a gnat buzzing around my head. A few more pages. Put the book away and pray. "Lord, blah blah blah. In Jesus name." A few more pages.
"Put that book away and pray. How far away from me are you?"
How far indeed. It made my chest ache. I put the book away and turn off the light and instantly a one line prayer arose from my spirit, "God fix his life; God fix his life; God fix his life" Over and over these four words poured out of me. It was like the old days when preachers spoke about "My spirit groans within me..." My spirit was groaning with this prayer that was laden with urgency. "God fix his life." No details came to my lips although I knew the specifics that this man needed." No pretty thees and thous or poetic phrasing.
"God fix his life."
Some battle was raging in heavenly places and I almost refused the call to arms. No, I did refuse it. I was nearly dragged kicking and screaming away from a crime novel to wage war for someone I love.
How far away am I? So far I only crave holiness in starts and stops and will trade it for worthless dirt.
We cannot be healthy and not holy. I am not healthy. When all is given to God's glory, then I will call myself in pursuit of holiness. I have divided myself into too many pieces. I cannot be six parts holy and four parts flesh or I am unholy. I am blinded by "health."
God forgive me.
Set me aside fully for Christ, and I will be whole. I will be holy.
I will finally be healthy.
Holy: 1. Set apart to the service or worship of God; hallowed; sacred; reserved from profane or common use; holy vessels; a holy priesthood. ``Holy rites and solemn feasts.'' --Milton.
2. Spiritually whole or sound; of unimpaired innocence and virtue; free from sinful affections; pure in heart; godly; pious; irreproachable; guiltless; acceptable to God.
3 John 1:2 Dear friend, I pray that you may enjoy good health and that all may go well with you, even as your soul is getting along well.