Bait

My sister keeps recommending a book that I keep forgetting to get, Bait of Satan. I am not really sure what it's about but the title makes me think it addresses the stuff satan uses to pull us in all the wrong directions. While it's easy to point to external forces bearing down on us, the bait that satan dangles in front of me all comes from within.
There is something in me that shames me to admit. I hope that if I just take a deep breath and put it out there I'll be forced to change. And that thing is change itself. The Mr. says I'm stubborn which I don't deny but it makes me ask, why? The answer is that if I change, I must admit I was wrong. If I am wrong, I am weak. I don't like weakness. This is of course, a completely delusional thought process on my part as we are all weak and I'm not kidding anybody but myself about it.
Have you ever heard of "Practice Theory?" It is exactly what it sounds like, the concept that with practice we become better at any given task. It should be so simple to embrace but we tend to give up and walk away long before it can pay off. I think to myself that if I were smart enough, I would be exempt from Practice Theory. Life itself is Practice Theory.
You see, with practice, you refine your methods. You weed out the stuff that doesn't work. You do things clumsily at first, then a little better, then really well, and eventually the stuff that was so awkward is now instinct. You've practiced your way to proficiency.
In life this requires going back at those things that you have failed at over and over again. Examining your failure and determining to figure out where you're messing up. Then laying down your ego to go at it with all your ineptitude showing until you master "it." Changing your approach and methods all the while until you finally get good results.
Life, lived well and right before God takes practice. Parenting, relationships, school, jobs, fill-in-the-blank; it all takes multiple attempts and revisions. No symphony is complete at the first draft. No life is well-lived without practice.
I need to lay down my pride so I can keep working on the things that bait me into being less than I should be. This life is sacred, let me practice holiness until I am finally made complete.
Romans 12:2
Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.