Sunday

Then the LORD God formed a man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being. Genesis 2:7

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Hello Friends

1. Not much blogging lately; busier and longer hours at work for a few weeks.

2. On the bright side, a busier hospital has created jobs! Praise the Lord!

3. I have had the same sinus, muscle aches and sore throat issues for at least a week.

4. I lurv coffee.

5. I managed to forget to mail my driver's license renewal, argh.

6. I need 6 forsythias bushes.

7. On today's list, off to buy scrubs for Mac. He's one of those new hospital employees. Did I mention, praise the Lord!?

8. Ordered and received my "wall words" (actually Trading Phrases) and hope to hang it this weekend, will post a picture.

9. Thinking of planting a few fruit trees. What do you think?

10. I got a shellac French manicure. I like to keep you abreast of the important things in life.

Image: Me teaching a class at the hospital.

???

Hey guys, I need some advice!
I am not posting this on Facebook because I want to keep it "in the family." I have a co-worker who is a truly good guy. Caring, hard-working and would do anything for you. The problem is, his position at work is in administration but not in a supervisory role. Actually that's not the problem, the problem is that he conducts himself as though his position is one of supervision or authority and that causes lots of resentment from those working with him.
For instance, we have monthly meetings. Part of his job is to report off on data submitted to him by clinical people (he is not clinical.) During the meeting, instead of simply reporting the data, he will say things like, "I don't know what's going on with Department X. You guys are having some major issues. " Or he'll come to our morning meeting and announce that "You guys have to get such and such information to me immediately."
And my favorite, "I know you don't want me to have to come and talk to you!"
When relationships with co-workers are less than supportive and cooperative, he gets hurt and therefore, that much more demanding.
During a meeting today, he stated that he had authority over the nurse managers to require them to do things a certain way. Well guess what, he doesn't. Therefore, trying to get things done in the name of imaginary authority, he gets less cooperation than if he just learned to be one of the team.
I don't know if I'm making any sense but I need some feedback. I like this guy, I consider him a friend. But even I want to poke him in the eye most days. Because I'm his friend, I think I'd be the most gentle and supportive trying to help him improve his demeanor. In fact, the boss (who actually is the boss) wants me to have a conversation so he doesn't feel attacked but does get pointed in the right direction.
How do I tell someone they aren't the boss and so they need to stop acting like they are and start building relationships based on trust and respect? I think he wants to have a position of authority but it just isn't going to happen in a health care setting because he is not a doc or a nurse.
Help!

One hour

Oh bother! It's back to work for me today. I will admit that I spent quite a few minutes laying in bed considering calling off but truly, I'm not that sick. Instead I will go in an hour late and give myself a few extra moments to move a little slowly and enjoy my coffee. It's cold in The Mitten this morning at 38 degrees but it's bright and crisp and so it's not all that bad. This time of year reminds me of Up North, cold bright mornings that warm into sweet afternoons. And have I ever mentioned how much I love my home? Waking up here is such a blessing and shame on me if I sometimes forget that and grump about the place. Today my heart is finely tuned and despite feeling less than great, I am happy. The Mr. and Mac are planning to put in a patio later this spring and I am planning my gardens and have decided that a cherry tree is just what I need so there is good reason to be happy as I wake up to my alarm clock that reminds me I have a good job to go to. My extra hour is slipping away and so I'd best pour another cup of coffee and head for the shower. I'll be back soon as there are many things to talk about that I just don't seem to be setting down to "paper" lately. Hoping your day is full of good reasons to get out of bed with a smile on your face! And if you're not quite sure what that might be, I'll give you the best one of all...

Jesus loves you!

Image: My partner at work, Natosha.

Checkin' in

Hi guys, Just a quick hello to check in and let everyone know I'm still out here! Very busy weekend at work, two extra long days and I'm fighting (and losing) an upper respiratory something. Today I had a bunch of errands to do with Mac because....... The Lord has blessed him with a job! So today was signing papers and getting a physical day. I went along because he's never been to the Henry Ford main campus and that's where the doin's were. He is starting on May 2 at the hospital where I work as a mental health tech. I, on the other hand, still need a day off. I'm beat! Love & Grace!

Dinner time

Although I call them daboyz, my sons are 21 and 22 years old. Jay, my oldest, has lived on his own for a few years now. When they were growing up we made them a promise, 4 years of college and they could live here in the bargain. No school? That must mean it's time to move out and get on with life. We have made the usual promises that are the always kind. They can always count on our love, our prayer and our commitment to one another. They can always count on us welcoming the women they will one day marry and to be devoted grandparents. And they can always count on dinner. It's sometimes a joke when I tell people my son has been on his own since he was about 20 but we still see him every night for dinner. Well, of late it's not quite that often. He's been dating a very sweet young lady for a few months so we suspect he's enjoying dinner in her company. Nonetheless, he can count on dinner. Daboyz know that they need to shoot out a text or an e mail if they absolutely plan on eating with us so we can plan ahead but even failing that, there will always be scrambled eggs or a grilled cheese for them. When we go out to eat, we always pick up the bill. I don't think that's necessarily the mark of a good parent but for some reason, it's important to us. Their girls can count on dinner too. Mac and Lexi usually join us on Sundays for dinner. Sometimes I'll hear from Jay in the middle of the work day with a one line e mail..."what's for dinner?" Often my reply will be met with, "Awesome." I wonder if those are bad days at work and he's looking for a little nurturing? Or maybe he's just really hungry. Either way, he knows where to come for whatever he needs. A few weeks ago on a Saturday he texted that he and his girl would be coming by for dinner that evening. The Mr. went out in the slightly frigid back yard and grilled hamburgers and they spent just a few hours with us but it was nice. It's like touching base. It's one of the few things you can offer your kids once they are out in the world and on their own. At least, if you are of limited means it is. I can't buy you a Hummer but if you drop by, I'll be happy to make a pot of chili for you! I imagine the day will come when the dinners together are fewer and farther between as they construct more and more of their lives as men on their own. Someday I hope to have grandchildren and when that day comes, they too will always have dinner. However, I am going to need a few hours notice if they all plan on dropping in at once. :) When that day comes, I will happily open the freezer and figure out what to feed them. It's Sunday evening and the weekend is slipping away from us. Mac has just left to take Lexi home and Jay is in the family room with his dad watching television. A few hours ago Mac was wondering when his brother would be over because Sundays are the unofficial for sure day for dinner. Nothing special on the menu. Chili dogs, chips. That's about it. It time to clean up the kitchen and switch gears for Monday. I just thought I'd share that when life gets grown up or complicated or busy, it's kind of nice that daboyz know that there's dinner here. If you find your life getting a little too grown up or complicated or busy; come on by. We'll always have dinner. Image: Mac, me, Jay in the kitchen. 2008

Sunday

Psalm 72:5-7

May he endure as long as the sun, as long as the moon, through all generations. May he be like rain falling on a mown field, like showers watering the earth. In his days may the righteous flourish and prosperity abound till the moon is no more.

Daydreaming in the Mitten

1. Salad garden 2. Forsythias along the fence 3. Window boxes full of geraniums 4. Fresh herbs 5. Berry garden 6. Coffee on the back porch 7. Campfires in the evening 8. Open windows 9. Donny snoozing in the sunshine 10. Putting away the coats

The Spa Review Post Part 2

The facial. Amy had her facial during my massage and then we switched. I've never had a professional facial but I do take pretty good care of my skin so I do give myself facials at home pretty regularly. Eva was the name of the aesthetician and I really like her, she was very soft-spoken and her approach was not just giving the facial but teaching me along the way. Sakora, by the way, is an Aveda salon so all products are natural.

The facial room is next door to the massage room and off of the private lounge. It is small and painted a very pale green. Again, soft music and soft lighting. Eva told me what to expect and then stepped out so I could change clothes. For this treatment, one removes their top and puts on one of those towel things that wrap around under the arms and velcro. Then you lie on a table (I was envisioning a chair) that has a heated mattress pad on white linens. Eva then pulled the blanket I was lying on up and around my body and shoulders like a taco, her words. A white towel was gently wrapped around my hair and Eva talked with me about my concerns with my skin, allergies, medications, etc. There are two basic types of facials offered. One is relaxation based and involves not only the facial treatment but a hand and foot massage. The second is focused on fine lines, discoloration, etc. Clearly I was there for the second option! We started with my choosing one of three scents to include in my facial as the aromatherapy portion. I chose a cinnamon clove oil, yummy! I closed my eyes and while explaining every step, Eva started with lightly massaging in cool water. She then put cotton swabs on my closed eyes, sorry, I don't remember exactly what the specific ingredients were. She used a light to examine my skin more closely and informed me that my skin is in great shape. Who knew? A light exfoliation and then a mask. Another mask for my eye area which was the eye brightening portion. Cool cotton swabs on my eyes and between each step, Eva would use a warm towel to remove the mask or cream. She gave me a facial massage using chilled glass globes and concentrating around my eyes. It felt wonderful! She finished with a light facial massage and then a massage of my upper chest, shoulders, neck, scalp, arms and hands. The whole process was about 30 minutes long.

I enjoyed this more than I expected to, I have to admit. I was also surprised that Eva's final recommendation was that I continue with my skin care regime because my skin looked really good and the only product she mentioned in passing was the eye cream she had used, telling me if I liked it I could purchase it from them. One time and no product pushing afterward.

I think I expected some kind of miraculous change in my skin which did not happen. My eyes definitely look less tired but the dark circles are lighter but still there. Eva did teach me how to take care of my eyes with cool compresses and tea bags to keep those as light as possible and she taught me that those won't disappear in one treatment. My skin looks and feels good but not noticeably different than beforehand. She did not mention regularly scheduling facials until I asked and then said about every 6 weeks or so would be plenty.

I'm not sure what the result would be for someone with a different skin type but for me the experience was great, the outcome ok. With Amy, she only recommended one product, a toner she used. I'll let you decide if we have low maintenance skin. Although I wouldn't say I have the skin of a 20 year old, I rarely break out and did not have acne as a teenager. I am not a sun worshipper and believe in sun screen which I wear daily year round. I do blush easily and have those doggone dark circles.

Eva did ask me about my skin care habits and said she really didn't see any need to change or add anything. I use only drug store brands; Olay, Aveeno and Neutrogena. I use Olay moisturizer during the day with SPF. Aveena night time moisturizer and Neutrogena foundation. I remove my make-up every night with Olay or Aveena cleansing cloths. I use Neutrogena eye cream once daily in the morning. If I'm home and not going anywhere or just making a quick grocery store run, I don't wear any foundation at all. I find the biggest factor in my skin's appearance is diet so when I minimize processed foods and sodium and maximize water and fruits/veggies, my skin looks markedly better than the reverse. Caffeine is limited to morning coffee. No pop.

I am sure this is boring as I am already bored but it's the facial post and let us be thorough!

As for skin treatments, I have the Olay 2 step microdermabrasion kit which is not cheap ($30-Target) It will provide multiple applications and the package recommendation which matched Eva's is bi-weekly. Most people who have tried this product absolutely rave about it. Again, I don't see any difference when I use it. I'm told that's ok because it will work as a maintenance instead of repair product and is still worth using. I use it about once a month. Last week I was really worn out and looking it so I made my own home facial masque lacking any real products. Equal parts honey and yogurt with a little oatmeal for exfoliation and it worked really well, perked up my skin and tightened up the fine lines.

So! The final opinion? You won't know if you don't try so if you are at all interested, put some money aside and get a professional facial. You may find a huge benefit to your skin but even if, like me, you simply have a lovely 30 minutes it's still worth it. If you are on a budget you can try anything from adding water (free) to honey and yogurt (cheap) to Olay microdermabrasion ($30.)

Pedicure! Home stretch guys! I did not have a pedi as they gross me out. Being a dedicated journalist, I did observe Amy's. I remain grossed out and will continue to do my own pedis! Amy loves the experience. She began soaking her feed in a bubbly foot bath. Callouses were buffed, creams and lotions and exfoliants applied to her feet, ankles and calves. Nails trimmed and polish applied. I didn't have the experience so I can't personally attest to it. The final product, very pretty but frankly, no prettier than my home pedicure. Like everything else, I guess it's a matter of personal taste! But I tell you once again, listen to me people...even if you do not get a professional pedicure...TAKE CARE OF YOUR FEET! You will be amazed at how much better your whole body feels and the rest of us will be grateful when flip flop weather arrives!

And that, my friends, is the spa review 2011. We will be having another such experience in the coming months and my mom will be coming along for that one. Obviously, you'll want to stay tuned!

The Spa Review Post

As mentioned last week, my sister Amy and I decided to treat ourselves to a mini-spa day. Also as mentioned, this is my first such experience. My thoughts...

The price, $99 for your choice of three treatments. Amy chose the pedicure, massage and facial. I chose the eye brightening treatment (which is really and add-on to the facial), facial and massage. If you've never indulged in spa services before, this is the perfect way to get a taste of the experience without dropping half your mortgage payment. As a side note, Sakora has all of their prices online. I really appreciate this as I could price the choices individually as well as part of the package and make an informed decision. This also allows me to skip the package and just have any individual treatment I'd like and know what I'm spending ahead of time. There are many salons (I checked) who list multiple spa services but not the prices. As far as I'm concerned, this isn't user friendly. I shouldn't have to do the leg work to decide if I want to pay a salon to take care of me. Also smart of the owner since I find myself putting aside money to treat myself occasionally knowing exactly what the cost will be.

The availability. Again, Sakora is very welcoming and the customer service is excellent. Whether on the phone or in person, they take the time to talk with you and help you decide what you need without pressure. They will work with you and even bring in staff who are not scheduled to give you an appointment that works for you. I checked on our spa day on Thursday evening hoping to schedule for Saturday morning for the two of us and they were able to accommodate my preferred day as well as time. Sakora also offers early as well as late evening hours which work for just about anyone.

The experience. Amy and I arrived at 10 and were warmly welcomed by staff that was clearly expecting us and prepared to take good care of us. The salon area is private with its own small lounge area with comfortable chairs, low lighting and the offer of coffee, tea or iced water in glasses or ceramic cups (this is a big deal to me, hate styrofoam and plastic.) Amy was scheduled first for her facial and I for my massage. The facialist was our hostess and explained what we should expect quickly putting us at ease. The massage room was painted a pale peach, low light and candle light with quiet music in the background. The massage table was in the center of the small room prepared with crisp white linens and a soft white blanket. The therapist asked me if I'd had a massage before and when I told her only once a long time ago she gave me a little orientation which put me immediately at ease. She stepped out allowing me to get ready for my massage (disrobe to undergarments and lay down on the table under the blanket on my tummy.) The massage itself was about 20 minutes long although you can schedule for as long as you like with an incremental adjustment in price. The foot of the table was raised to elevate my feet and the linens had been warmed. Micca (the masseuse) placed a slightly weighted heated pad on my upper back and ran her hands lightly over my legs, arms over the blanket. She then moved the pad onto my lower back/upper butt and began by massage my back, shoulders, neck, scalp, arms and then finished with my feet and legs. In this case, Micca had a relatively light touch but one can request a deeper massage as well.

Afterward, Micca explained that she was finished and instructed me to take my time getting dressed while she brought me a glass of iced water. I was completely relaxed and admit, I thoroughly enjoyed every moment. Not to mention that Micca found those knots that seem to be always in my shoulders and rubbed them out completely. Who knew my shoulders had been tight for approximately 30 years?

I'll end there since this is running on rather long and post part two tomorrow, facial and eye treatment as well as Amy's pedicure.

Final thoughts on massage~worth the money and the experience of the professional massage is more than the work on your muscles. It really does usher one into a state of relaxation of the body and rest of the mind. For me as a Christian, the quieting of my spirit gave me a sense of rest in the Holy Spirit. Nothing is required except to be cared for and as Micca smoothed out my muscles I felt God smoothing out my heart. Not exactly going into the dessert to pray but certainly time carved out for the world to stay on the other side of the door.

Image: Sakora Spa & Salon, 15007 Eureka Rd., Southgate, MI

Sunday

Isaiah 53:6

We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to our own way; and the LORD has laid on him (Christ) the iniquity of us all.

List

1. Repot my house plants that have outgrown their pots during the winter.
2. Paint the antique fireplace surround in my basement to make a headboard.
3. Get some art and whatnot on my bedroom walls.
4. Put plantation blinds in the family room.
5. Steam clean family room carpet.
6. Paint front door.
7. Buy Sketchers sandals and stop buying Old Navy $5 flip flops.
8. Find my umbrella.
9. Plan my salad garden.
10. Buy a blueberry bush.

Spahhh

I'm having me a mini spa day! Going to the salon where I get my hairs did and my shellac manicure, Sakora, and getting this package CLICK. My sister is going with me. My mom has a situation with her tailbone which prevents partaking in spa activities but she promises to come next time. I have never had a spa day and I'm not sure I'll like it but I'm going to try. I'm not one who enjoys pampering kinds of things but I'm working on learning to change that about myself. I'm doing some introspection to ask God to show me if this is really a matter of pride with me although it seems like it would be the opposite. When I say I don't do spa stuff, people always tell me I should because I'm worth it. I don't really disagree with that. But I'm still uncomfortable with it, with being "waited on." There is something vulnerable and needy in it that sticks in my craw. As Mac used to say, "My do it myself!" I'll do it myself! I'll walk on my broken foot, I'll work with my broken finger, I'll get up and get my own coffee after my surgery last year. It really is pride, take my word for it.
I am choosing a massage, facial and eye brightening treatment as my spa day. Amy will be having a pedicure instead of eye brightening. Her eyes are bright enough as it is. I have not yet matured in my attitude enough to have a pedi. Still doing my own partly because I just can't seem to pay money for it but mostly because I am not comfortable. But still, I'm doing the rest. I've never had a professional facial and only had one massage which I was dragged to kicking and screaming, admitted enjoying it at the time and have never since felt that I needed one bad enough to get another.
I think I might have a secret martyr complex or something. I don't know. I'm not saying everyone should have spa days, they are certainly nothing but extravagance and luxury but this proud person inside of me has entirely too much enjoyed pointing my nose up at such extravagance and being a little proud at never succumbing to it. I am sure this is sounding ridiculous but it makes sense, trust me.
My 2011 unofficial resolution was to take time and effort on myself, to value myself as God does and to see myself as the bride of Christ. To imagine myself an Esther, who cares for herself to prepare herself for her calling. I've done a good job keeping my resolution, although how hard can it be to treat yourself nicely? Well, it can be very hard actually.
I have purchased new scrubs and work shoes because for too long, I've been inwardly proud of not spending the money and wearing scrubs that have become faded and shoes that have become worn out. Stupid.
I have even had a few shellac manicures which for now, I am really enjoying. Maybe not forever, but for now they are a source of pleasure just for me.
And tomorrow, spa day. Work has been pretty demanding lately and as I looked at my puffy dark circled eyes in the mirror and rolled my stiff shoulders I decided quite impulsive to do a little maintenance on the old girl. The old girl being me.
I'm actively working on relaxing into the experience as we speak. The completely inward self-ward focus of it doesn't come naturally but again, I now see some pride in that.
So I'll let you know how it goes or if I go running out the door with the facial goop still on my face, eyes unbrightened and muscles un-massaged. And if I figure out a less crazy way of explaining why this is a step away from pride and toward a healthy approach to myself, I'll update you. For now, take my word for it.
Breathing deeply and going in...

Image: Pedi room at Sakora where Amy will be getting pedi'd tomorrow.

Howdy neighbor!

Maybe it's the number of For Sales and foreclosures in the neighborhoods of Southeastern Michigan, but one of my favorite pass times of late is looking for houses for the people I love. No, they aren't in the market. I'm planning their moves for them! Their moves, I'm not going anywhere.
Mac and I like whiling away an occasional afternoon driving up and down the streets around our home and finding houses and then coming home to check the real estate listings to decide where people should live. Our goal is that we are all within walking distance. I told my mom the other day that I'd like for she and my dad to move into a house on our block. If they move nearer my sister, that's fine too. I just think it would be nice to be close enough to chat over the fence, or at least holler over another neighbor's yard, with one another. I'd like Daboyz to live in the neighborhood so if they need help with their children, the kids can simply walk here after school. Ideally my sister will move into the area too. I'll spring that on her at some point. I'm not talking about people who live hours away, I'm talking about reducing the distance to walkable from driveable. All of you should scan the Dearborn listings too, you are invited. Just think of it! All of us in the same neighborhood! The homes would all be maintained lovingly, the streets and sidewalks would be safe for our little ones, we wouldn't need to arrange complicated plans to see one another, we'll be sharing smiles and hellos every day!
If I buy too many tomato plants? I'll walk them over to your house for your garden. If you have too many zucchinis? Send them this way and I'll make bread for everybody! Feeling under the weather, any one of us can pick up your groceries while we're out. Go ahead and take a vacation, we'll see to your mail and your lawn and even your dog. Power out? We'll take turns hosting camp fires and making a party out of it.
And when the world gets a little too frightening and the news is shouting nuclear melt downs and so many wars we lose count and there is a daily moment of silence for the latest young man we've lost in combat, we can look out our front windows and find the good and pure things to focus our hearts on.
This doesn't happen to be one of those "let's pretend" moments. I am putting forth a thought for your consideration. No, not that you pull up stakes and move next door immediately. That's a little too Waco. But if a time comes in the years ahead when you find yourself on the market for a new home, might you want to focus on a house with a sidewalk that leads to someone you love? What have you got to lose? Think how much easier the house-hunting will be when it is narrowed down to a few blocks. Maybe moving days for you are way in the future. All the better! Start budgeting for the street you want to live on so that when that perfect house is available, you're ready.
I've heard of a lot of families over the last few years wishing they could build a compound for their family, buying acres of land and putting homes there together. That would be awesome, but for most of us it is dreaming without planning. I know of a family who all bought condos in the same complex, a kind of modern spin on the family farm! But if that is something in your heart, it really isn't such a castle (or bungalow) in the sky. It's just another of those purposeful living things that make live richer for the planning.
P.S. You do not have to be related to join my neighborhood, everyone is officially invited.
If enough of us join in, we can take turns shoveling snow and only do it once a year!

Image: Fairlane Mansion, Henry Ford Estate. Dearborn, MI. I do not live here.

Smooth Monday

Ahh good morning! I awoke to sunshine and wet windows and birds singing but we seem to have progressed into clouds, dry windows and bird singing. However, there are promises of 60-64 degrees in the Mitten on this day off of mine! I have some "bumming" to do and it's just right weather for it. Nothing too interesting...running out of moisturizer, need (want) new pajamas, birthday cards. After a long hard-working weekend, it'll be a nice diversion. By the way, the lazies have indeed passed and I managed to get this house back in order over the weekend so I have no chores standing in the way of my aimless bumming day.
I made a hearty thick smoothie for breakfast since today is Weight Watchers so I try to eat light most of the day. I am way past the days of fasting all day and I find that having a protein packed smoothie with a hit of glucose is a nice alternative. I'll have mostly fruit and veggies until we weigh in. Confession-the Mr. and I are doing terribly! Mac is down 25 and losing more this week but we are just in a rut. And it's not one of those plateaus where you need to hang on and you'll start losing. We are just eating too much! We got off track when Dean's dad was in the hospital and it's been slow to get it back together. This week I don't expect to lose but I think I'll break even, some days that's all you can ask for!
I think I'll finish my smoothie and take a long shower and then it's yoga pants and bumming for me. Hope your Monday is sweet!

Smoothie-1 banana, 1/2 cup milk, 1/2 cup low fat yogurt, 2 tablespoons creamy peanut butter, 1 tablespoon honey. NOT low calorie! But it will fill you up and keep you going!

Image: My coffee & smoothie on my desk this morning.

Spring Sabbath!

Song of Solomon 2:11

See! The winter is past; the rains are over and gone. Flowers appear on the earth; the season of singing has come, the cooing of doves is heard in our land.

Image: http://www.nancywernersbach.com/show-image/432018/Nancy-Wernersbach/Essence-of-Spring.jpg

This morning's rambling thoughts

1. Can you believe my finger still hurts?
2. And my foot?
3. Mac says the Farmer's Almanac has predicted one more snow storm, the first week of April.
4. Super moon!
5. I have had a sinus headache every day for a week.
6. Yes, I am getting tired of hearing myself whine.
7. Fruit smoothies are a life-saver for those who need to lose weight.
8. I am intrigued by Paula Deen's grapefruit cake. Recipe HERE.
9. Might be taking a cruise in the fall?
10. Gotta go to work!

Image: http://elainalove.files.wordpress.com/2010/05/grapefruit.jpg

Zzzz

Welcome to the land of no motivation over here. Every once in a while I become lazy with a capital L and this seems to be one of those times. For almost a week my greatest daily goal has been to nap, lay down, go to bed. My usual every evening house straightening...uh, not really happening very much. I'm looking around a rather untidy family room now and thinking to myself, this seems like a good time to pop in a movie and wrap up in an afghan. I'm not going to worry about it too much, this too shall pass. In the mean time, I think I'll follow my bliss and be a little lazy.

But seriously, I am going to have to snap out of this pretty soon!

On the shelf

In 1972 I was a second grader at Taylor Parks Elementary School and already, my greatest gift had been discovered. Reading. I was, and am, a fabulous reader. The year before I had been introduced to the most amazing place in the world, the library. By the second grade, I had already read already (that just sounded fun, sorry), all of the grade-appropriate books in the Taylor Parks Elementary School Library. The librarian, Mrs. Oliver, did a wonderful thing. One day, when my class went to the library on our weekly visit and she noticed me checking out books I had already read, she took me by the hand and led me down an aisle I hadn't been down before.
The chapter books. Chapter Books. Big kid books.
Oh baby! Mrs. Oliver gave me special permission to go down any aisle in the library I wanted and check out any book I wanted. And as many as I wanted!
Oh baby!
I remember the smell of the library, the feel of the blue carpeting and the beautiful shelf after shelf of books. My gift was even greater than I had realized. With my new clearance to get more books, I would have enough books to take me through all those recesses when I usually hung out under a tree with my socially awkward self praying for a thunderstorm to keep us inside.
Mrs. Oliver was a lunch lady when I was in first grade and when we came back after summer break, she was the librarian and the library had been moved from the tiny room on the first floor with only three walls of shelves and one round table to a former classroom on the second floor with rows and rows of shelves and four round tables and ferns hanging from macrame hangers in the windows. Oh, and some bean bags too! Mrs. Oliver was tall (at least from my perspective) and slim and had dark hair with white streaks. She wore blue eye shadow and pink lipstick and pink frosty fingernail polish. She didn't dress up quite as fancy as my teaches. She usually wore polyester pants and a coordinating cotton top and a gold chain around her neck. Mrs. Oliver. I don't remember particularly loving her. I do remember one time another lady tried to shoo me back to the little kid books and Mrs. Oliver came over and told her I was a gifted reader and I had already read most of the books in the library. I think maybe I did love Mrs. Oliver, now that I think about it.
Obviously Mrs. Oliver was not a particularly educated woman, having just been promoted from lunch lady the year prior. Keep in mind, she was the lady who took the lunch money so she was moving quickly up the ladder. She wasn't a teacher. And when she took my lunch money in the first grade, she wasn't even particularly nice. But somehow she noticed me and she took the interest in me to introduce a world which continues to be precious. Maybe Mrs. Oliver was a reader herself and recognized a kindred spirit. Maybe the lunch lady that didn't seem particularly nice was really another socially awkward bookworm like me. In my imagination I see her opening a door and inviting me into a huge and shining place...the big kid books.
The first big kid book I read was about Louis Braille. Wow. Now that kid was something else. Did you know he injured his eye with an awl? This was where the first spark of passion for what I might someday become was ignited. I wanted to be a special education teacher. That didn't work out quite the way I thought it would but it was the first step of the process of developing a fascination for those who are different, special, disabled. It grew into reading about Helen Keller that year. Good grief! That kid was something else too!
I read everything that didn't move including the shampoo bottles in the bathroom but I was drawn to nonfiction books about those people whose lives were not as easy and average as others and eventually, mental illness was among the disabilities I read about. My desire to be a special education teacher for visually impaired kids changed a little. I wanted to be a teacher for mentally ill kids. Well, that didn't quite work out either but today I am a psychiatric nurse so I don't think I went too far afield.
Mrs. Oliver paid attention and saw something in me. Something fine and good and worth nurturing. She gave me an unspoken permission to remain shy and awkward and keep my nose in a book.
I was a gifted reader. What is really true is that I have the gift of reading. I cannot sing or play an instrument or run a marathon but I can read. That might seem a pretty average skill but it's not the skill that is the gift. It is the joy of it.
I was thanking God for my job the other day and it came into my heart to thank him for the ability to become what I am. The intellectual skill to go to school and learn and have this blessed life. So much of it is not just because I am able to read, but because it is my gift.
I used to wish for different gifts, I used to not even realize that reading was a gift. I wanted to sing at church, I wanted to be athletic or beautiful or something...something. But I'm not those things. I am a reader.
And Mrs. Oliver opened the door to a joy that has yet to become mundane to me.
There is no one without a gift. Maybe we just need to see like Mrs. Oliver did and take the time to show each other the shelves we hadn't seen before...where pleasure and satisfaction and power and truth can be found. It doesn't have to be in a book for everyone, but it is out there in some form.
Find the shelf that holds your gift and when you find it, show others the way to theirs as well.

John 13:34

A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another.

Image:https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifSXtgpoMHP4V8hYsviaS-thwf9rW9SEAGYYqJjFrDi7Rg7eNofOpxOkG0_aLy4fVravSUpAKcvt6itC5bW9krE2ffjEKJ2UO_FUjLy6J_1tbKqbbWQ3kHA4-ZGkXO7MKWyLUULw/s400/Norman+Rockwell+Paintings+(23).jpg

Musings

1. I am ready for the blowing out like a lamb part!
2. Foot better, only slightly limping.
3. Finger better but still pretty tender. Keeping it buddy taped to my ring finger.
4. Praying for Japan. Lord, be with them.
5. Going to buy Dansko shoes for work. Heard they are great.
6. New opportunities to consider, praying for wisdom.
7. Dear Charlie Sheen, I have a nice bed for you and a leetle something to take the edge off.
8. I WILL get a shamrock!
9. Making Irish soda bread for work. Recipe HERE.
10. Hooray for shellac manis!

Image: Spring 2010

Broken

I happily went back to work yesterday after almost two weeks off between bereavement and breaking my foot. I'm off of the crutches but between you and me, I'd probably be better healed if I had complied with the no weight-bearing, splint and actually used the crutches. Then last night as I was rummaging through the freezer getting dinner supplies, a large heavy pot fell off the fridge hitting my left hand. I am pretty sure my pinky is broken....owwwwwww! It hurt so bad I actually sat down and cried! Didn't go to the doc, nothing to do for it anyway except splint it; which I did. I seem to have suddenly become fragile!
Tonight I got a shellac manicure on 9 of my fingers, the pinky is way too tender. Can't see it under the splint anyhoo.
After my multiple injuries, I'm glad this 3 day work week is coming to an end. Hope all is well in your neck of the woods!

Down in front

Springtime, when a middle-aged woman's heart turns to thoughts of exterior home improvement.
I hobbled around Lowe's yesterday looking for the key elements I will need for the inexpensive update that I'm planning for the front of our post WWII bungalow. The siding is painted gray, the front door red and the shutters white. Like all good old fashioned American post WWII bungalows, we have wrought iron railing and posts on our porch. We will need to replace the porch steps which are starting to crumble but that won't have any impact on the curb appeal. If I call it Curb Appeal, will HGTV come do the work and pay for it? No?
On the shopping list is a new full glass screen door, paint for the original wooden front door, 2 sconce porch lights and possibly new porch posts depending on how disgusted we are with the job and one another by that time. We have done our choosing so as the weather begins to warm up, we can start the buying hopefully having our mini re-do done by May.
The screen door is black-trimmed full glass Mission style. The door paint is what I'd call robin's egg blue but the good people of Valspar call it Beach Kiss or Ocean Sparkle or some such thing. We will simply repaint the white shutters black. The porch light sconces are black and we'll be ordering a custom address plate & mail box to top it all off. The new steps and some trimming of the existing shrubbery should give it new life and of course, the Stars & Stripes will once again be flying from whatever posts we end up with. Of course, this inexpensive little project will not be literally cheap but I think it will make a big difference for a smallish budget compared to the long-term plans of new siding and having a brick walkway put in.

As for getting that shamrock, so far no luck!

Image: Our red front door

Stuff & nonsense

The Mr. just made breakfast for us, I'm enjoying a cup of coffee and then I'm going to try a daring experiment...putting on my work shoes and going to Target. I'm 99% mended and shooting for back to work tomorrow without crutches. If the Target adventure goes well, I might just go buy that shamrock plant that the Mr. isn't getting for me. I'll round up the day by sketching out my yard & garden plans just in case the Mitten does eventually thaw out and then making Swiss steak for dinner.

As you may have noticed, I have updated my profile picture. What you don't know, and so I must tell you, is that it took approximately 80 self-shots to get one that didn't make me cringe. I told the Mr. we needed to update our Facebook pic as well since the one posted now is from October but he refuses to do so until we have lost weight. The point is, the next photo on Facebook is likely to be at his reitrement party...in 20 years. I'm going to keep working on him. I'll keep you updated.

What else shall I tell you? Oh, I know! I have a dream. I have a dream that if my foot withstands the Target and shamrock purchasing, I want to go to Lowe's. We are putting plantation shutters in our family room and kitchen this spring and I want to order them and I just want to look around. Every once in a while, a person just needs to look around Lowe's or Home Depot, don't you think? You may say that I'm a dreamer. Well, I'm not the only one.

Have a good day whatever your plans or dreams may be. I'll post a picture of my shamrock!

Image: Cement chicken which formerly lived at The Farm sitting next to my lilac bush last Autumn. Keep checking back for the first bloom! (Of the lilac bush, not the chicken.)

18 degrees of spring

18 beautiful sunny degrees in the Mitten this morning! You might think it's cold but it isn't. Spring degrees are different than winter degrees. I'm off work until Wednesday with this silly foot and today is the Mr.'s last day of bereavement so we are home together. He'll be going grocery shopping this morning since I'm a bit on the slow and clumsy side. I need to get a few birthday cards today so I might just hop over to Target. Don't be jealous of my glamorous life!

My current obsession is a greenhouse or garden window for my kitchen but did you know those things are expensive? Shesh! I was thinking in the hundreds not the thousands of dollars. I mean, I'd actually like a greenhouse but I'm thinking if a simple kitchen window is $1500 an entire greenhouse but be at least $2,000...LOL. Maybe I can start harvesting glass from abandoned houses and in 30 years I can build my own actual greenhouse. I'd like to attach it to the north side of my garage just off of my back porch. Wouldn't that be nice? In the meantime, I might have to collect McDonald's sundae cups with lids and have several miniature greenhouses. That should be attractive.

So, if you have a greenhouse that you would like to send me or if you have a few extra thousand dollars you need to get rid of, let me know. In the mean time, it's 18 spring degrees and I gotta get plantin'!

Image: Plants! Houseplants that are waiting to go back on the porch.

Sunday

Job 12:12

Is not wisdom found among the aged? Does not long life bring understanding?

The important things in life

1. Buy your favorite volumizing mascara & your favorite lengthening mascara. Apply a coat or two of the volumizer and while it's still wet, apply the lengthening mascara. Do one eye at a time.

2. Shellac manicure is holding up great. No chips and I have had a very busy week with lots of cooking and cleaning.

3. Dean's mom is moving back to Alabama to live with his sister this summer. Please pray for wisdom and for a smooth transition.

4. Just got my Spring edition of Midwest Living Magazine...ahhh. Happy-making.

5. Got my hairs did, it's very cute. Take my word for it.

6. I need new shoes for work but can't seem to locate an extra $120 at the moment. Please see numbers 2 & 5 to solve that mystery.

7. I am going to buy some seeds and plant a bunch of herbs in small pots in my kitchen.

8. I want a Shamrock plant which is available at Thrifty Florist for $5. The Mr is ignoring this.

9. I made goulash with dumplings, yummy!

10. Last but not least, I am so thankful for all of you. This past week could have been difficult in more ways than I can share but everything was peaceful for all involved. Thank you and praise the Lord for his goodness.

Image: Backyard. Summer 2010

Joyful joyful

The Mr. is off to take his mom to the doctor this morning and I am enjoying HGTV with my cup of coffee and my gimpy foot up on a pillow. This week has brought the death of my father-in-law, funeral and my broken foot to top it off. In short, life is good.
Strange to those who don't have a truly personal relationship with God to hear that our life is good but the ones who know Christ aren't in the least surprised. How many scriptures could I quote? "He makes all things new..." "We mourn not like those without hope..." "All things work together for good for those who love the Lord and are called according to his purpose..."
There are so many details to life that bring child-like joy to my days. Good hair, the perfect new lip stick, having a pedicure when going to get my broked foot looked at, the laughter of daboyz, coffee coffee coffee. I could go on forever because things get better and better the more I think about it. A friend who is one of the busiest people I know but took time to make us soup. A friend whose early morning texts messages of love and offers to help waiting when I wake up ("Crutches are in my front closet, I'll leave the door open for you.") A friend who sat next to me at the funeral home an giggled inappropriately with me because let's face it, Christians ain't afraid of funeral homes. There is no more inappropriately appropriate response for a Christian in a funeral home that to laugh at death.
Death? Whatever!
But everyone has moments of good hair and good friends and good coffee. Not everyone, however, is able to live in the middle of difficult days and still find happiness in the small stuff much less laughter. The difference is Jesus. Every self-help theory in the world tries to teach people to reframe their circumstances to find the hope and the positive in the things that are challenging to them. But if you know God (and I don't' mean know about God, I mean know him), he does the reframing of your thoughts before you are even thinking them. He gives an extra something to the face of your friends and the taste of soup and the words in a text that makes the details bigger than the picture you are living in.
We cry, we mourn, we bargain and deny and get angry and get worn out. We have bad days and bad hair and dying loved ones and broken bones. We are not placed inside of a bubble that protects us from the hurtful and the ugly. We are in the world, but not of the world. We are not captives of our pain.
Finally, we are bound together with other believers who do miracles on our behalf. Do you have friends who pray for you and yet have never met you? Are you utterly convinced of the love of people in your home and around the world? Are you so sure that they are moving heaven on your behalf that you sleep in utter peace when life is crumbling under your feet?
Life is joyful. If not, your soul perspective is in need of reframing.
He makes the ugly beautiful. He makes warriors of the weak.
We are beautiful warriors.

Image: Flowers on our kitchen table, a deconstructed funeral arrangement in an antique painted bowl. Beauty from pain.

Crutches

I went to Urgent Care yesterday and although the x-ray is inconclusive, the opinion is that I have a hairline fracture of one of the small bones of my right foot. Therefore, I am being treated for a fracture, fiberglass splint-wrapped-crutches. Very inconvenient! Turns out, if you use crutches because of pain in your foot, you will have less pain in your foot in exchange for pain in both arms. Tricky! If I'm still in pain next week, it's off to an orthopedist. I don't expect that will be necessary. On the bright side, I like nothing better than being at home so this gives me a grand excuse. On the less than bright side, everything I try to do takes twice as long and makes me sweaty.

And since I know you long for the nitty gritty of my life, I also have cramps that are not in my foot.

I just changed the linens on our bed which took about 20 minutes but it does look very nice now. :) I am taking a break and moving on to the next item. Happily, our washer/dryer is on the first floor so I will be able to keep up with what needs doing. Also happily, this is all stuff I really do enjoy so despite the gimpy foot, I'm right where I like to be. The Mr. and I are both off the rest of the week so he's here to holler at me to sit down and I'm here to holler at him to shut up, I am the doctor here. All in all, business as usual. I'm making goulash later!

Dean is doing well with the loss of his dad. Moving forward and spending lots of time with his mom. The loss of a Christian cannot be compared to the death of someone who didn't know Jesus. Dean's mom plans to move back to Alabama when the weather breaks to live with his sister. I have a personal theory that it is a little extra gift from God that Ben passed during the transition from winter to Spring. The bright sunny mornings and thoughts of gardens and flowers lighten even the heaviest hearts.

So I will leave you with the most recent words of wisdom inspired by the Holy Spirit. Don't die without Jesus, it will make your loved ones sadder yet. Don't get so fat your feet break when you walk on them. Give yourself weekly pedicures so no one has to be grossed out looking at your feet if you do break them. By the way, my feet are always examination ready. What's grosser than gross feet? Pretty much nothing except for dying and going to hell.

You see how I tied that all together?

Peace, joy and grace

Good morning to you neighbors!

As you know, the last several days (few weeks) have been difficult and long ones for us. The Mr.'s dad passed away last Friday. On Saturday Dean's aunt and uncle arrived from Tennessee and have been with us, they are leaving today. Monday was eight hours at the funeral home for the viewing and Tuesday was the funeral. We cannot express enough gratitude for the love and prayers of all of you throughout this time. The peace of God was certainly felt every moment. Ben will be cremated and his remains interred in Alabama this summer at the little Baptist church where he was raised.

Dean's mom is doing pretty well although the true experience of being a widow will set in as the company leaves and she starts to live this new phase of her life alone. She will probably be moving back to Alabama to be near Dean's sister within the year.

And since we cannot do anything without a touch of the ridiculous, I will be going to urgent care shortly because I think I may have fractured one of the small bones of my right foot. How, you ask? Walking. I stepped down on it yesterday morning and sort of rolled it slightly as I was getting out of bed and felt a snap and have been in quite a little pain ever since. I am guessing at a stress fracture. I wrapped it and took 800 mg of Motrin to get through yesterday and was hoping it would be better today but not so. Can I just tell you that when a person is fat enough to break her foot bones by simply walking it is time to lose weight!

So we are happy to greet a new month and in a few weeks, the first day of Spring. The wind chimes are already announcing that March is blowing in like a lion. Birds are chirping in the trees in the morning and the sun is a little brighter, the days a little longer. Ben's in heaven so we don't mourn for him, we'll just miss him for a while. God is a keeper of promises, I've always thought that Spring time was proof of that.

Peace, joy and grace to you!



Image: The back porch last Spring.

Predestination

Romans 8:29-30
For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brethren.
Moreover whom he did predestinate, them he also called: and whom he called, them he also justified: and whom he justified, them he also glorified.

When you begin to think about principles and beliefs connected to the individuals interpretation of God, scripture and theology it's nearly impossible to even find a single definition of an idea to start a reasonable consideration of it. Religion A. says predestination means that a person is already elected for heaven or hell before they are ever born. Religion B. says we can change that outcome by our own decisions. Religion C. isn't sure what it believes but it's certain that Religions A. & B. aren't right.
To further complicate matters, we often have a gut feeling about something and then as we start searching the Bible we become more confused than in the first place. All of us think differently, come from different backgrounds, have different levels of education and a host of others differences that cause two people to look at the same verse and reach two entirely different epiphanies. Having no reason to take my word for it, I hope you'll give some consideration to my own thoughts on predestination. Slightly different than many theologies, I take predestination as the final definition of hope and redemption. In fact, I think it is the ultimate banner of love that flies over a sinful world.
Are some people born destined for hell? Yes. And some for heaven? Yes. And they are the same people. Only those with free choice are bound to the laws of predestination.
I believe that predestination means that no matter how badly you've gone astray, God has already predetermined a manner by which you can be saved. There is no sin so deep that his arm is not prepared to reach into it to pull you out. There is no mess so messy that God has no idea how to clean it up. There is no debt too great, no damage too extensive. God has predestined a million and one paths for your salvation. He has looked down through eternity and seen every possible way you could fail and then built a destiny for you to turn that failure into redemption. That is predestination.
Your destiny is is heaven in so far as there is no excuse for missing it.
So there you go.

pre·des·ti·na·tion
(pr-dst-nshn)
n.
1. The act of predestining or the condition of being predestined.
2. Theology
a. The doctrine that God has foreordained all things, especially that God has elected certain souls to eternal salvation.
b. The divine decree foreordaining all souls to either salvation or damnation.
c. The act of God foreordaining all things gone before and to come.
3. Destiny; fate.

The Mr.'s dad;

Ben Smith passed away this morning at 8:30.
Services will be at the Voran Funeral Home on Goddard Rd., Taylor MI
Viewing on Monday and funeral Tuesday morning at Voran.

Fear much?

1 John 4:18

There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment (punishment.) He that feareth is not made perfect in love.

I think if, like Solomon, God were to offer me one thing; one gift or ability I would choose the ability to recognize fear. So much of the terrible, foolish and hurtful things we do are driven by fear that we don't recognize.
Anxiety, worry, nervousness, tension and even depression are obviously fear to most of us. But what about selfishness, stubbornness, arrogance and pride? These too are often fear wearing a mask to make itself seem more powerful. Remorse would mean facing something terrifying, I was wrong. And if I was wrong, might I have to make right? I'm afraid of what making right might mean. Walking away from a relationship that isn't Godly. Admitting a weakness that might cost me a position I really want.
Turning in the $20 I found in K-Mart when I might need it later.
Do you notice that fear has torment? In other translations, torment has been changed to punishment. Fear brings punishment or the threat of it. So we run in terror of getting what we deserve and we change into people even we don't recognize trying to hide from what we've got coming. In fear, we insist we didn't do anything wrong so there is no reason for punishment.
In fear that we are not loved, we obnoxiously demand our rights and turn into tantrumming little beasts who ironically become quite difficult to love in the process.
In fear we think how much we really want this________(man? woman? job? house? vacation?) and our fear tells us a punishing God might say no and so, we are too afraid to ask for permission and live instead in defiance.
Afraid that we are not as pretty or smart as the next person, we become hard and appear arrogant and demand that other people acknowledge our worth hoping that we will convince ourselves if we can convince them to convince us.
So I want to recognize fear. I want to become spiritually sensitive to that tiny demonic seed. Yes, I said demonic. I want to know exactly what that horrible liar feels like when he creeps into my spirit and plants fear there. If I know fear is trying to take hold, I can quickly claim victory and all of the ugliness that might have flowed out of my spirit will be immediately changed to grace and peace.
And I want to recognize fear in others. When someone is ugly, I want to rise above defensiveness and self-righteous indignation and plain old offendedness and see the fear that is wrapping itself around the person's mind.
Then I will grab it by its scrawny, lying, sneaky little neck and cast it away...
With Perfect Love, which is usually the very furthest thing from my mind when fear takes the driver's seat and turns another person ugly, I can overcome fear.

Lost but denying it

If you wanted to visit a friend who lives say, on A street but you were driving down B street; would you be wondering why you couldn't get to your friend's house?
I'm seeing this lately in the lives of people around me. They are confused why they are wherever they happen to be in the journey of their life. And yet, don't we each set off on the roads we travel? Life itself is a matter of turning corners or not. Of crossing streets and changing directions. Fast and furious times on highways where we sought and then chose exits. Winding paths when life is sweet and slow when pause to look around and rest quietly or explore a new trail into a forest we've never seen before. Do we ever choose unwisely? I do! I find myself looking around and thinking, "How in the world did I end up here?" In truth, I usually ended up exactly at the end of a road I chose for myself. And sometimes, it's a very ugly neighborhood! What to do in those times?
In growing up in Jesus, I have wailed about the unfairness of the potholes and dead ends. I've prayed long, hard, tearfully, loudly and occasionally, in Old English and even Hebrew Then there was the next set of travel plans. I'll simply become so incredibly spiritual and attuned to the Holy Spirit that I will never again choose a wrong path. That went something like this, you must preface every statement, thought, blog and possibly sermon with "The Lord showed me..." I'm all for the Lord guiding our steps, good grief I'd step right off the edge of the Grand Canyon if he didn't! But have you ever seen someone in the midst of the "God told me" phase? God told me to wear pink lip gloss. God told me to make lemonade. God, is it your will for me to grow my hair and wear a pony tail?
Can I be honest? I think maybe sometimes God, who is a God who counts the hair on our heads, doesn't really care all that much if we part it on the right or the left. I'm just sayin'...
So what road am I traveling now? I have embraced something powerful and beautiful and utterly freeing. Remorse. Repentance. Redemption.
That goes a little something like this. "God, I totally blew this!" Or, on less graceful days, "Oh crap!" "Oh crap" does not translate easily into Old English or Hebrew.
Often, the neighborhood we end up in that we really don't like is just the obvious destination for the road we chose. The wise person starts to see the signs that she's headed in the wrong direction and repents so that they can more quickly find the detour back to where they want to be.
I've lately heard older people say things like they have no regrets. Twisting and turning logic into pretzels to explain why where they are is just fine and dandy thank you very much! At any point in the last sixty years they could have simply acknowledged they were headed in a wrong direction. Humility that allows us to confess, repent and be turned around...what a gift.
If you don't like the neighborhood of your heart at the moment, why not take a moment to see if perhaps you took a wrong turn? Or even if you weren't the one driving at the time, ask God now to show you the exit and the courage to take the wheel. It's not just about this moment because if you stay on a road for long enough, you will still be experiencing the wrong neighborhoods over and over again in 10 or 20 years. And let me tell you, it's easier to backtrack one year than 5.
We will never live inside this flesh and have a perfect sense of direction. What we have instead is a soul compass. It always points toward redemption and we are never lost enough that it cannot find it's true north.

2 balmy degrees

UPDATE: God is forever showing us his care for every detail. In answer to your prayers, Dean's sister decided today to leave this evening from Alabama and will be here in the morning. This takes a tremendous burden from Dean as she will be staying with their mother and he will not be the sole source of help. Thank you and be sure to give a hallelujah on our behalf!

Good morning from the Mitten where it is 3 balmy degrees. I'm moving slowly this morning and should already be heading out the door to work but there is just something unnatural about a person leaving their warm and lovely home under such conditions! Update~it is now 2 balmy degrees.

The Mr.'s dad was transferred yesterday to the VA hospice unit so thank you for all of your prayers and let me not be remiss in acknowledging God's faithfulness to answer prayer. We are all tired, strained and feeling the way all families do when they are in those final moments before a loved one passes. Dean's mom is disabled and her needs certainly add to the difficulty of this time for him. She doesn't always understand that everything can't be done exactly as she wishes with both of us working and her complete dependence. This leaves Dean feeling pulled to do everything he can for her which almost seems to be aging him before my eyes. Of course, she is losing her husband and she must remain our focus but it's my job to see to my husband and so I ask you to interceded for fresh anointing and strength for him. He has come down with a bad cough and cold and is not sleeping well.

Well, I must be off and about the business of the day. Yesterday's post and the comments it generated have given me lots of food for thought but with the time constraints of the moment, I will need to keep those in the back of my mind for further discussions with my neighbors.

Grace!
Image: The Mr., Lake Michigan October 2010

Neighbors

Feeling thankful today for a God who makes sure that even though things change, they don't always have to for those who want to hang on a moment or two longer. I'm a recluse, an introvert, a loner, a social misfit. Don't feel bad for me or rush to reassure me. I'm fine with it. Didn't used to be, but now, I know it's who I am having been made this way by I AM. So it's all good.
I'm also someone who was born about 50 years too late for the world that I long for. Of course, had I lived through World War II, rationing, and all that went with it I'm sure the romantic glow would be tarnished. So maybe it is nicer to think about rather than live through our dreams. Which brings me to this lovely place in time where a recluse like myself can still be a part of a neighborhood, a group of us who gather together over fences with a cup of coffee and a wonderful new recipe or a prayer request to share. Today I imagine all of you as neighbors, each of your individual blogs like houses lining a street on which we all live. Any time of day or night I can visit you and see what is happening at your house. Sometimes I stop in for a chat by leaving a comment and other times I wave as I go by without saying anything. I suspect if I were keeping house in 1953 as I so often fantasize, I would be the same introvert who doesn't gather at the neighborhood fences as I am now. Only in 1953 there would have been no online neighborhood for me. In 2011, I have the best of all worlds! I can be a loner with 20 best friends!
So thank you, neighbors, for inviting me to your house and coming to mine for a cup of coffee and a chat. You have become some of my dearest friends and in case I don't say it enough; I love you and I thank God for the part you play in my life.
I always wanted to have a neighbor just like you; I always wanted to live in a neighborhood with you! Won't you be my neighbor?

Butterfly-free blizzard

Just getting ready to head out the door on this snowy morning in the Mitten. Got a call from the hospital at a little after 5 a.m. that the majority of the staff had called in and we needed to get in as quickly as possible so off I go.
Not all that long ago this would have set off butterflies in my stomach and aggravation in my heart as well as a tension headache. Not anymore. I've learned that of all those butterflied days, never once did I not survive. So too, this day will work its self out with God at the helm. As always. Only we foolishly don't think we need him so much on some days as on others. ;)
Off I go to explore the day that the Lord has made. The first adventure of which will be the drive in...first blessing of the day a truck parked inside a garage that doesn't need cleaning and a drive through the snow in a four wheel drive.

Image:https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjT7S7uBXq7MLZk1aJITqaBgROre0eoyk1z0w2oLT_ydXpXi0WbZBveyzIbdM1q87_XWme4Y1DTW_dBAlIt_RTGM6_LK-nHutpN1wQFFzGUAJq1Sw3rqShnuSYWpgtCqtpF8oEBhw/?imgmax=800

Show me your glory

Exodus 33:18-19

Then Moses said, “Now show me your glory.” And the LORD said, “I will cause all my goodness to pass in front of you, and I will proclaim my name, the LORD, in your presence. I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I will have compassion."

10 thoughts

1. The source of the hospice problem turned out to be Ben's doctor at Wyandotte who gave a completely inaccurate report of Ben's condition. This has now been corrected and Ben will transfer to the VA hospice unit on Tuesday if he has not passed.
2. Even though the temperatures have turned colder, the sunshine makes it ok.
3. A pleasant home has remarkable power to calm the spirit.
4. Every day the daboyz have checked in several times by phone and spent time with the Mr. I love that about them and need to remember this the next time they are acting like fools, which will probably be this afternoon.
5. Keeping life in order during difficult times is so important. Dinner at home, food in the pantry, routine & schedules renew tired bodies.
6. I am sure there are people who think Nurse Amy and Nurse Sara are difficult to deal with, this is what makes us good nurses. So there.
7. Black coffee in the morning, tea with honey in the evening-perfect bookends to the day.
8. I am going to the library this afternoon. That is always happy news!
9. Now that I have decided to buy egg plant colored eye shadow, there is none on the face of the earth.
10. Make your life warm and sweet and beautiful and comfortable and lovely and peaceful today.

Image: (left to right) Dean's mom, Ben, sister Kelly & Dean playing Rook in Alabama, 2001

Endings

At times like this, I am truly thankful for the knowledge that God holds everything together and I wonder; if I didn't know this fact what in the world would I do?
Dean's dad entered into home hospice care 2 weeks and ago and then was admitted to Wyandotte Hospital last Sunday when he had deteriorated beyond home care. There are two issues with his health, primarily is the dementia which is in the advanced stage. Secondary is atrial fibrillation-a cardiac problem. Ben's dementia is called Lewy Body Disease and it is a sort of cross of Alzheimer's Disease and Parkinson's Disease. Last weekend the combination of the two had him falling constantly, unable to understand what we are saying to him and increasingly agitated. After Dean spent the weekend running repeatedly to their apartment to help control him, the hospice nurse came on Sunday and called an ambulance because his behavior was dangerous to himself and to Dean's mom who is not able to adequately provide care to keep him comfortable.
So he was admitted and here is God holding life in his hands-usually Ben would go to a hospice room on the sixth floor however, on Sunday afternoon there was a plumbing problem and that room was shut down. Instead, he was routed to the fifth floor where my sister is the Clinical Coordinator/Nurse in Charge. Can't you almost see a couple of angels taking the pipes apart? :)
With better medication management Ben was quickly made comfortable and peaceful. His appetite had been inconsistent for a few days and by Tuesday a combination of the disease and the medication necessary to keep him quiet had resulted in his stopping eating all together. That's ok, it's part of this process. The hospice doctor and their family practitioner decided Ben could not be returned to their apartment because Dean's mom can no longer provide care to him and they ordered him transferred to a nursing home for hospice.
Well...guess what? Medicare does not provide room and board benefits for nursing home care. So if he goes there, his entire social security check will be taken to pay for it. His mom will be left with $600 a month. Just her rent is $850. Amy spoke with everyone and told them that this was impossible, another solution would have to be found and it seemed that we had found it. The Veteran's Administration will not provide nursing home care unless he has a service-related disability or is indigent (neither apply) but they will provide hospice care at their hospital. So that was the plan until...
On Thursday we were informed that he does not meet criteria for the V.A. hospice benefit. Amy spent the entire day running around trying to figure this out (God is using her hugely in this.) Ultimately the social worker could only say "he doesn't meet criteria, I don't know why." Not an acceptable answer but we are stuck for the moment with it. With Amy's help, the whole process was sort of stopped on Thursday night to be revisited today.
I have taken a day off work to try to help sort through all of this. Sunday will be Ben's last Medicare covered day in the hospital and all the doctor has to offer is that he will move him to the nursing home leaving Dean's mom without enough money to survive.
In the midst of all of this is Ben who lays quietly, although very sedated, in a hospital bed. His breathing is changing and his vitals signs are irregular. Yesterday his heart rate stayed around 115 all day. Some of the hospice team say that he can't go to the Veteran's Administration hospice because the requirement is a life expectancy of 2 weeks or less and the doctor doesn't think he can predict that. Some of them say he isn't quiet that advanced and maybe if we took him of the medication he would start to eat. Of course, he would also start to hallucinate, strike out in fear, fall, be incontinent and have to be restrained to a bed. He stopped speaking a week ago and recognizes no one. I've never heard of someone in hospice having such a difficult time. As my sister said yesterday, this mean is 83 years old. He served his country and then worked until the age of 80. He deserves comfortable and dignified care and that's the end of the conversation. The doctors think that a nursing home will provide that and leaving his wife unable to buy medication or food is not their problem as she is not the patient.
There is every probability that Ben will not survive until Monday. If you asked me to guess, I'd say he won't. This, now, is our prayer. That he will remain comfortable and peaceful even if he is sedated and that there will be no more moving for him. He has wonderful nurses tending to him and he is close by. Dean and his mom need to be able to spend this time with him and not terrified of what might come next-will they take him off his medication? Will they move him and leave her indigent?
To paraphrase, even so Lord Jesus come for your child.

I'll tell you when I'm beautiful.

I go through phases. Moments when I want to try every beauty trick out there-manicures, hair extensions, eye lashes...and moments when I am only interested in the basics-hair color, foundation, eye brow pencil, chapstick. It's only been in the last few years (ah 40, you are so much wiser than 30 or 20!) that I realized I don't have to pigeon-hole myself as either or. I can do it all or none of the above as long as I'm enjoying myself today.

The most wasted of days have been the ones when I spent money on beauty that was for the benefit of other people. New dresses that weren't necessary except to avoid wearing the same one over and over. Blouses that were uncomfortable enough to only get one wearing and then became closeted for years. I think we've all been there.

Some women are in relationships with men who have opinions of what is beautiful, I have no problem with that as long as these ladies feel more beautiful than not. I often lean toward the Mr.'s known preferences...but not always. Because sometimes what he thinks is beautiful doesn't fit inside my skin; and inside my skin is where beautiful lives.

I was in a conversation with some women about aging and how it forces us to redefine ourselves when we look into the mirror. We fear what's around the corner of that next birthday. 40 is ok but 50? I do not look like my younger beautiful self. Fewer and fewer are the comments, "I'd never guess you were_____!" Now when I share my age, people don't seem surprised. Again, I don't have any convictions about the right way to age other than you must understand yourself before you define yourself. I'm not promising anyone that I won't have a breast lift, implants, face lift, lypo or anything else that I decide lends itself to the beautiful me on the inside feeling that I like the me on the outside. For right now, it's weight. I will work on that and then we'll see about the rest. In case you're wondering, I don't ask Dean his opinions on some things. If he finds me less than beautiful for lack of perky breasts, that is understandable but needs to stay inside his head. And ultimately, beautiful is me...not me as seen by someone else.

So on the days I feel beautiful without mascara, that's how you'll see me. On the days I'm in the mood for a manicure...that's what I'll have. I believe that beauty is joy with a face.

Today's joy is what makes me beautiful.

Mitten Madness

So what does someone in the Mitten do in the deep winter freeze of February? For one thing, she starts to hear birds in the early morning right around Valentine's day and she remembers...spring is coming. Then she spends a few minutes dreaming of coffee on the back porch and Boston ferns hanging in the warm breeze. Ahh, now she feels a little less crazy.
Time to look around the house and imagine what exciting things might be done at the homestead. Here's what we're thinking about here at the Smith-sonian.

My grandmother's bedroom set has been displaced into the front guest room by my new Mission set. I will be picking up a new comforter set from Target and doing some updating in our bedroom. Then there's that guest room that now houses the Eleanor bedroom set. Mac wants the bed and highboy when he gets married but for now it will be going to visit my sister's house in her larger guest room.
In our basement is a wooden fireplace surround that was once at The Farm. I've wracked my brain trying to figure out how to integrate into our home to no avail until~
Ah Martha! How I love/hate you! How simple and cute is this? CLICK. The Mr. will be painting our mantle creamy white and finishing it to turn it into a sentimental shabby chic perfect guest bed!
Moving on, we have a little butcher block table was once in the kitchen at_____I'll let you fill in the blank. Casters will be added to give it some height and easier mobility so it will become an island work station in the kitchen and we'll add a few stools to store underneath for a coffee break spot. The kitchen table is moving into the original dining nook...

The computer table which was formerly at The Farm (good grief, I'm starting to sound quite ridiculous), will scoot down the wall a few feet into the C.S. Lewis room which is slowly becoming my own little space in the world where it will reside with the piano and a loverly reading chair.
That's all the news so far! I'm excited with my plans for some simple refreshing of our home and minimum money invested as I look around and make use of the beautiful items we already own and repurpose furniture and space for a new outlook. The best part is, if we don't like the results there is little lost in the effort and we can easily return to where we started.
Fun, huh? Well, I think it's fun! Stay tuned for pictures of the works in progress and the final reveal.
Happy am I!

Deuteronomy 6:5

And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might.

Happy by order of the Madre

1. A fully charged cell phone every morning.

2. Being at home.

3. The smell of grass & dirt.

4. Herb gardens.

5. Books.

6. Coffee.

7. Family gatherings.

8. The Old Testament.

9. Old photographs.

10. Christmas trees.

Th

Good morning from the Mitten and baby it's cold outside! For Michiganders, that means switching from ankle socks to crew length. For this Michigander, it also means dinner in the crock pot and not going out again once I'm home from work. Pork chops, potatoes and sauerkraut cooking so I'll just add a veggie or salad when I get home.
I think I am finally over the tummy bug I had but now have the daily sinus headache, that isn't illness just another aspect of sub zero temps. But it sure does hurt! And it sure is hard to motivate myself away from my cup of coffee and out the door in the mornings. However, you won't hear me complaining about leaving my warm house to drive in my dependable vehicle to my good job.
Dean's dad is in a hospice room at the hospital for a few days. His mom had cataract surgery and felt she couldn't handle him as she recovers and also has doctor's appointments leaving him without a caregiver at home. We were worried about him being hospitalized even though it's a hospice room because from his perspective, it's still a hospital and he doesn't do well with hospitals. But with prayer and God's grace, so far he has been just fine. He'll come home tomorrow. He has gotten too physically impaired for Dean to take him out as he needs a wheel chair and cannot get into and out of the car without being lifted. He has a walker but do to his cognitive impairments he really isn't able to use it so he is falling at home more often. He is also starting to having urinary incontinence. He is losing his speech, unable to find words and using completely inappropriate words that leave you wondering what he's talking about. He's losing weight pretty quickly despite having Meals on Wheels as well as caregivers providing snacks and meals which he does eat, his body just seems to be shutting down. There are days when it seems as though we are holding our breath that he will make it through the next 24 hours and days when he seems "fine."
On a lighter note, I have discovered a household trick! I got a new (and relatively expensive) iron a few weeks ago and heated it up without realizing there was a sticker on the heat plate. If you can tell me why the serial number sticker would be a. transparent and b. with black numbers and applied to c. the dark gray heat plate; please let me know. You can imagine what happened, the sticker melted leaving this black hardened stuff that softens up just enough when I attempt to use the iron to leave black streaks on my clothes. Arrgh! After googling multiple fixes such as heating the iron and scrubbing it with nail polish remove, which seems dangerous, I stumbled across the magic remedy to my problem. Heat the iron, wrap a wet towel or wash cloth around a wooden clothes pin and use the end of the clothes pin to scrape away the burned plastic. Worked beautifully! In five minutes my iron was like brand new and no black streaks when I ironed my scrubs and lab coat today. I don't know that this will be helpful to anyone else in the world, but it makes me happy.
Time to start the truck and get my day going. Stay warm!